Envy

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Envy Page 8

by Amarie Avant


  “No, Raven.” Stephen held her to his chest as her legs thrashed in the air.

  “Royael’s baby pictures!” She tried unwrapping herself from his grip. Overwhelmed with anger, she had to keep reminding herself that he was a friend, so as not to pummel him and continue.

  “No.” He knelt to the asphalt, holding her. She allowed his biblical verse to envelop her spirit and pacify her. He rubbed her back. Submerged in the darkness of his collarbone, she tuned out the firemen’s shouting, the raging fire, and the neighbors’ empathetic, confused chatter. Concentrating on him, her crying turned into a whimper, and then finally a sniffle.

  When a second voice mimicked Stephen’s words, Raven opened her eyes to a chubby hand reaching out to help her off the ground. Melanie hugged her tightly. If only she could stay on the ground, blend in with the asphalt, become nothing … except Melanie continued to chant comforting Psalms, and her heart swelled for these two people. They ambled back to the park, sitting Raven down on a swing.

  Night blanketed the neighborhood as the last embers went out. The fire chief came over and spoke with Raven. She nodded as he explained that the point-of-fire came from a cup towel on the counter near the stove. Annette’s dinner hadn’t made it off the stove when they had all left for the hospital. She distinctively recalled telling Charlene to turn it off, right after their argument to determine who would ride in the ambulance. Raven didn’t even know what she’d said to Charlene, but it was apparently harsh enough to get Charlene to back out of the ambulance.

  Charlene stood at her side, listening to the fireman. Raven wanted to push her away, tell her that it was none of her business, yet energy failed her.

  Raven rocked back and forth on the swing as Melanie offered to take her home. She shook her head. When Charlene offered, Raven stood so fast the swing jerked and went rocking. “I’m not going anywhere with you!”

  Charlene sighed, opening her mouth, but Damien nudged her arm.

  “You can’t stay here,” Stephen said.

  “Come home with me,” Liam directed.

  She’d forgotten he stayed after Stephen came. Finally looking at him, she shook her head. No clear sense of direction, Raven walked to her car. I’ll get a hotel. The thought of being alone made her shoulders tense as she fumbled with her keys.

  Liam leaned against the door, looking down at her. “I won’t allow you to stay by yourself tonight.”

  Raven didn’t relent when he pulled her toward his Range Rover. Settling into the car, she watched Damien corner him before he opened the driver’s door. Even in the dark, there was a glint of concern in her stepdad’s eyes. She could just imagine what he told Liam. Maybe not; she’d never had a father.

  Raven watched dark trees whip by as they ascended into the mountain. Baby pictures and kindergarten crafts. Biting her lip to stop a sob, she glanced at Liam from the corner of her eyes. Could he be her rock again—the strength she needed during the storm? Images of his comforting, strong arms holding her up at Brinton Hospital in North Carolina crossed her mind. He’d been the reason she’d coped as a doctor told her that Grandpa Otis had leukemia.

  That image was a murmur of hope.

  No. He wasn’t her rock.

  In a daze, Liam pulled in between the Bugatti and the Murcielago. The close connection that he’d seen when Stephen consoled Raven had his shoulders rigid. He’d almost gone to her then. Instead, he imagined himself soothing her. He got out of the car, wondering why Stephen hadn’t offered to take Raven to his home. Her chunky friend did, but not Stephen. Oh, good Christians don’t sleep together.

  In the house, Liam guided Raven up the stairs to a bridge that led to his master bedroom on the left and guestrooms to the right. Rain drummed on the skylight as he took her to the first bedroom on the right. He flicked on the light, illuminating a room with olive-green walls and potted plants. Not knowing what to say, he told her how to use the system that would darken the glass wall.

  When she didn’t speak, he went into the adjoining bathroom and turned on the shower. He grabbed a set of towels out of the cabinet and placed them on the glossy white counter. When he walked back into the bedroom, she stood in the center, looking through him.

  Liam rubbed his hand over his thick hair. “I’ll go find something for you to wear.”

  Raven nodded, taking a seat on the khaki couch.

  She was in the same spot when Liam came back. He placed a pair of sweats and a T-shirt from his alma mater next to her. What to say? When they were kids, he’d never have a problem turning her frown upside down. Now, he didn’t know her.

  Since the house would be full of light in the morning, he used the automated switch to close the blinds himself. Steam flowed from the bathroom door. Finally, having nothing constructive to do, he told her goodnight and was shutting the door when she said his name faintly.

  “Will you lay with me for a while after I shower?”

  Did she just say that?

  “Please?” Raven looked into his eyes as he hesitated.

  “Okay. I’ll be back.” Liam hurried to his room, pulled off his clothing, and kicked off his shoes. Going into the closet, he hastily grabbed a pajama set off the shelf. The neatly-stacked pile of new pajamas crumpled. Pulling the tag off the pants, he went to take a shower. It wasn’t until he’d brushed his teeth that he stopped to laugh at himself. He gritted his teeth, cursing Tyriq’s inability to find the maid. Lucinda knows about the forged letter, if she knows that there's no telling what else she knows.

  The melodramatic beat of the rain against the skylight mimicked Liam’s heart as he went back to the guestroom. Raven laid in bed on her side, her back to him. It was safe to retreat and ignore her plea, but she looked fragile in the large bed. Sighing, he climbed into bed. Inhaling her intoxicating mango and papaya perfume gave him a flurry of vivid images of their first time together. Inwardly, he cringed. This is fucking painful. I can’t have her.

  14

  The day started with Liam escorting Raven to her townhouse as a fireman guided them around. Nothing was salvageable downstairs. She’d grabbed a singed Mookie off Royael’s bed and patted at the soot, feeling Liam’s stare.

  “One day these damn bears won’t be for sale anymore.” She gave a wry smile and handed it to him.

  While rummaging through her room, he’d stood at the door. Back toward him, Raven reached into her closet, passing clothing which would forever hold a burnt aroma. She reached up onto her tippy toes and grabbed her old Iron Man tin lunch box. Raven unlatched the clasp and her heart almost exploded as she looked inside. The spoon ring from Liam and a necklace that Grandpa Otis had given her were untarnished, along with a few other valued items. Raven wiped the ash from her hands, grabbed her tin box, and followed the fireman out of the room.

  Liam seemed transfixed by Royael’s doll as they carefully walked down the stairs. She half-expected him to ask what was so important and worth keeping, but he offered to buy all the Mookie bears at the store.

  “I suppose having a few will come in handy.” Raven’s mouth tipped upward at the edges as he held the door for her.

  “Good. Now on to the mall.”

  He’d parked in valet at the outdoor mall. Under any other circumstances, a shopping spree, coupled with the warm sun beaming down on them, might feel good.

  They passed by stores with clothing and accessories fashionably displayed in the windows and Raven stopped at the directory.

  “Burberry Kids, and what the hell is a Mikidsana? Where's a Children's Place?”

  His eyebrow raised. “I thought we settled on the kindergarten downtown? By default.”

  Now she looked at him sideways. Leave it to him to bring in the school situation. “Okay, I'll cave, Liam. But you know I’m talking about the outrageously priced stores in this shopping center. And Children’s Place is a store. Home of the five dollar T-shirts and bottoms. Unless you have a coupon, which makes it that much more sweet.”

  “We can take Royael there later.�


  “Not with me. The Diva isn't allowed to go shopping with me. Half the time, I threaten to make her shield her eyes when a toy commercial comes on. She'd buy the store but …” Raven paused to grab her cell phone from her pocket.

  “Answer it.”

  She shrugged. “It’s just Steve, I'll call him later.”

  “All right, I'm going into this store.” Liam cocked his head, no emotion whatsoever. “You can wait out here, or any of the stores attendants will help you take your things to valet to put in the car since this isn't your type of scene.”

  He walked off without another word. Raven was pretty much done with shopping. She'd purchased a lot of jeans and considered it a shopping spree, even if he didn't think she spent enough.

  She watched him from the window. Two attendants were already adding to a mound of couture children's clothes. And The Diva will be ecstatic, she thought, a half-smile perched on her lips. She decided not to make a bid to do about it, since they'd have to explain to Royael that the home she had grown up in was no longer habitable.

  Raven sat down on the bench beneath a palm tree. In a group text to Stephen and Melanie, she told them how things were going and apologized for missing choir rehearsal. They responded with their love and James 1:2-4.

  Her heart softened, Stephen truly had found a good woman in Melanie. She was texting a reply when Sharon's profile picture popped up. Raven answered the call.

  Sharon greeted her with, “Hey, lady, how are you holding up?”

  “By the grace of God, I'm all right. Just thinking about how to tell Royael and my grandma that … that there's no going home.”

  “Can't say I know what you're going through. But let me give you another perspective.”

  “What's that?”

  “Liam, of course.”

  Sitting back, Raven glanced through the floor-to-ceiling window again. Not a single word was necessary on Sharon's part. This conversation was going into left field.

  “You've been reluctant, Raven. Stop seeing him as your friend,” Sharon continued to speak, but Raven was stuck. More than just a friend, Liam was everything she craved. Everything she ever wanted. Her envious eyes lusted for him.

  “Hold up,” Raven cut in. “You're saying, living in his house will work in my favor?” Her smile was full-blown.

  “Yes, girl. You don't have to fuck Liam. If it gets in the paper that you live with him, well you’re hot. That egotistical douchebag is a wet dream. Insinuation killed the cat, baby.”

  Raven sighed heavily, but the incredulous smile was glued on her face. Why was she doing this? Well, she had many reasons.

  Char once said, maybe they lied. Maybe I'm not Jonathan's child. Liam's family had been in charge of the DNA test. But then again, what did that mean for her? The only other paternal choice was the truck driver who raped her mother on her quest for fame.

  “Um, I'm thinking on the lines of Monica Lewinsky. I was a kid when that crap went down, but Lewinsky still came out looking like a ho. Sharon, this is childish, vindictive—”

  “You don't have to tell anyone that you all are related, Raven. So no home wrecker or THOT status necessary. Look, what you’re doing is setting the foundation. Be nice to him.”

  “I'm trying.” I'm trying not to hate him. And I'm trying a whole heck of a lot not to love him. Those are the only two damn options I've got!

  “Try harder. When you're out, bestow him with a soft caress. A touch will do. Trust me, everybody wants to know who The Legacy is fucking. There's always someone new. You will break that habit in the world of nosy folks that love to read Scandalous. They'll be imaging a whole host of sex positions.”

  The nervous smile died.

  “Raven, you're quiet. I hope I'm not losing you. You won't have broken one of the Ten Commandments. Well, no premarital sex … er … currently. When you become the public’s interesting beautiful stranger, his current craving. Then you—”

  I am not doing this! “I gotta go.”

  He heard her hanging up with Stephen. It had to be Stephen. Her smile died as Liam had stepped outside, and she quickly finished the call as he mentioned valet to the three employees who were following him outside with arm loads of packages for Royael. The worker with the least amount of things offered to take Raven’s few bags.

  She thanked him, while standing.

  Liam asked, “We can go to lunch if you'd like or pick up Royael?”

  Raven seemed to be thinking; it took a second for her to respond. “Not really hungry. Unless you are.”

  “Royael it is.” He waved a hand toward the valet. The three workers already walked ahead, having been tipped well to take the items to the valet attendant.

  Liam tapped the small jewelry box in his hand as they walked. It was a glossy purple, Royael’s favorite color. He placed it into the pocket of his blazer.

  They walked by the remaining stores in silence. As they stepped along a narrow passageway with fashion ads which masked employee entrances that led to paid parking first, Liam tried to get her smile off his mind. The entire conversation on the phone, Raven had been genuinely happy. Even through the slight glare from the sun on the window, Liam saw her face light up. My daughter will be happy, that's all that matters. I am no longer in love with Raven—

  A black blur zipped from the hiding spot of one of the employee doorways. It took a second for Liam to register that it was a man dressed in all black: jeans, long-sleeve shirt, and ski mask.

  Liam had no formal combat training, just attended a few courses with his friend Tyriq.

  Raven screeched, hand to her chest. Her shouting his name echoed in his ear as he kicked out. The gun in the man’s hand went clattering to the ground.

  “You're trying to rob me!” Liam punched out at the guy, but the assailant rammed Raven, pushing her down and continuing on.

  The guy barreled into a security guard who was just rounding the corner.

  “Catch that motherfucker,” Liam shouted. He knelt down, eyes concerned. “Re, you okay?”

  “I … I … Didn't expect this. South side, yeah … Bu-but …”

  He tried to joke about her fighting past, since she seemed so shaken as he helped her stand, but the words didn't come out right. Liam settled for, “You can walk.” He continued to look toward the mall. Had the security guard caught the bastard?

  “Yeah, but my ass hurts.”

  They both laughed. Liam pulled her into his arms. The day Raven stormed in his office, he couldn't see them being this close. Now, her heartbeat pounded into his chest in much the tempo in which he wanted to beat the crap out of the guy who tried to rob them. This had never happened to him. And his veins boiled with venom at the reality that Raven had been hurt.

  He tipped her chin. His breath caressed her forehead. “I've gotta do a whole lot better keeping you safe. You're worth more than diamonds, you had my child.”

  Ravens teeth tugged through her bottom lip at the joke. He instantly stepped back as his cock came to life. Taking her hand, he said, “Let's get you in the car. I'll inquire with security once you’re settled.”

  As they continued, he perceived her slight grimace.

  “You are hurt.” He stopped in front of her.

  “No—not really.”

  “You always were one to take the pain.” Liam scooped her off her feet.

  “Just a slight sprain, I think. I can walk, Liam. Please.”

  He didn't cave to her request.

  Eyes roaming around the dark environment of Serene Lounge, Raven searched for Sharon. Having never been to Serene, she knew it was the kind of upscale bar that served sky-rocket-priced drinks. Raven had spruced up by applying makeup to match her gold shimmery wrap. Weaving through leather-studded, high-back stools that matched the tall chrome tables, she gave a quick smile to a few guys in suits who attempted to flirt. After convincing one particularly confident pock-faced guy that she wasn’t interested, she found Sharon seated, legs crossed, sipping an apple-tini

&
nbsp; “You set us up.” Raven slapped her leather cross purse onto the high-table top.

  Sharon grinned. “Sure did.”

  Raven grabbed her friend’s drink and slammed it back. The burn down her throat further lulled her much-needed numbness. She didn't want to be angry. She didn't want to feel shit. But seriously, Sharon had played her.

  “Let me get us another round of drinks, then we can chat.” Sharon nodded toward a server.

  “No. Speak now. You’re supposed to be my friend.”

  “I am. In fact, I'm taking all the turmoil out of your part.”

  “Bullshit.” Raven turned to the bartender. “Long Island, and if that sucker is mostly filled with ice, we are gonna have a problem. Thank you very much.”

  “Cosmo. Premium for both. My tab, and the quicker you move, the more love you'll get later.” Sharon winked and turned her pleasant affect back to Raven. “You don't want your headspace fucked with. I got it loud and clear each time you have pussyfoot around since Liam came back. Am I right?”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  “You're already dealing with a self-inflated mother—if she so chose to be around.” Sharon held up a hand, since Raven had opened her mouth, but damnit, the reporter spoke quickly. “Add to the megastar mom, Liam—both have their heads so far up their asses. Now the fire. And like you said, the telling of how the home burned down to Royael and Annette. How did that go?”

  “Granny is still in the hospital. We picked up Royael last night; she was elated to move into the bedroom Liam had redesigned for her.”

  “See, you all look like a happy family, outside looking in, and tweaked for fan’s entertainment. So if you ever needed to use the ‘We are related line,’ oh boy, Liam would look like a fucking backwoods, inbred—”

 

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