by Cathy Glass
‘That seems reasonable to me,’ Rachel said. ‘And Jade needs to establish a routine.’ Then, looking at Tyler: ‘Eight o’clock it is, then, unless your mum is expecting you sooner?’ Again I felt the discrepancy between the boy and the man, although Tyler seemed unfazed.
‘She didn’t set a time,’ Tyler said.
‘OK, so we’ll say you leave here by eight o’clock and then Cathy can get on with what she has to do,’ Rachel clarified. ‘We’ll just have a look around the house and then I’ll be off.’
It’s usual for the foster carer to show the social worker and the child around the house when a child first arrives, and I stood, ready to begin the tour. As I did, two sets of footsteps could be heard scampering downstairs and along the hall, and then Paula and Adrian appeared in the sitting room and stopped dead. Perhaps they thought that Jill and Rachel had gone, for they looked surprised to see all the adults.
‘This is Adrian and Paula,’ I said, introducing them to Rachel, Jade and Tyler. Jill knew my children from having been my support social worker for many years.
‘This is Jade and her boyfriend, Tyler,’ I said to Adrian and Paula. ‘And this is Rachel, Jade’s social worker.’
‘Hi,’ Rachel said. ‘Good to meet you. Sorry to take up so much of your mother’s time. I expect you’re ready for dinner. I know I am.’
Adrian smiled politely and nodded while Paula, who was always a bit shy when first meeting people, came to stand beside me. I left Jill in the sitting room with Adrian – she was asking him how secondary school was going – and with Paula holding my hand, I began the tour of the house.
‘This is the kitchen,’ I said to Rachel, Jade and Tyler. ‘We have our meals over there.’ I pointed to the table and chairs in the dining area of the extension.
‘Very nice,’ Rachel said. Jade and Tyler stood side by side just inside the kitchen-cum-dining room, holding hands and looking very awkward, as teenagers often do.
‘Cooker, fridge-freezer and washing machine,’ I said, pointing them out. I then led the way out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the front room, which among other things contained a sofa, a small desk with the computer, a hi-fi system, and shelves of CDs, DVDs and books.
‘I expect it’s useful having more than one living room when you’re fostering,’ Rachel said.
‘Yes,’ I agreed. Then to Jade I said: ‘You can use the computer in here. I’ll show you how.’
Jade nodded but didn’t say anything.
I then led the way upstairs and showed Jade her bedroom. ‘I’m sure you’ll be comfortable in here once you’ve got your belongings with you,’ I said.
‘Yes, it’s a nice big room,’ Rachel said, following Jade and Tyler in. ‘There’s lots of space for your things. And what a nice view – overlooking the garden.’ She went over to the window.
Jade glanced towards the window but she didn’t go over; nor did she say anything. She appeared lost and overwhelmed, and I felt sorry for her. As with any child coming into care, all that had been familiar to her had suddenly vanished and was possibly gone for good. Jade had spent last night at a teacher’s house and now she was in another strange house with unfamiliar people and their unfamiliar routine.
‘Don’t worry,’ I said, touching her arm reassuringly. ‘You’ll soon feel at home.’
‘I’m not worried,’ Jade said, putting on a brave face, but she obviously was. She appeared anxious and kept nervously pulling at a loose thread on the sleeve of her jumper.
We left Jade’s room and as we went round the landing I pointed out Adrian’s, Paula’s and my bedrooms, and then we arrived at the bathroom.
‘You can have a shower or a bath,’ I said, showing Jade (and Tyler and Rachel) in.
‘You like your baths, don’t you?’ Rachel said.
‘Don’t mind,’ Jade said with a small shrug.
Having seen upstairs, we returned downstairs and into the sitting room, where Adrian was still making polite conversation with Jill. On my arrival he saw his release and immediately disappeared out of the room and upstairs, quickly followed by Paula.
‘Thanks, Cathy,’ Rachel said, picking up her briefcase. ‘I’m going now.’ Then, looking at Jade: ‘I’ll phone you tomorrow. Have a good evening.’
Jill said goodbye to Rachel and stayed in the sitting room with Jade and Tyler, while I went down the hall to see Rachel out. At the door Rachel said quietly: ‘Meryl – the teacher at Jade’s school – was planning on visiting you tonight, but I’ve told her to wait until Jade has settled in.’
‘Thank you,’ I said.
‘I’m sure she just wants to be helpful but if it gets too much let me know. It could be unsettling for Jade if she keeps popping in.’
I thanked Rachel again, said goodbye and returned to the sitting room. Jade and Tyler were once more sitting side by side on the sofa, now listening to Jill, who was telling Jade that I was a very experienced foster carer and a nice person who would look after her very well.
‘Thank you, Jill,’ I said with a small embarrassed laugh.
‘Well, it’s true,’ she said. ‘Now, if there’s nothing you need I’ll leave you good people to have your dinner.’ Then to Jade and Tyler: ‘Nice to meet you both. See you again soon.’ As my support social worker Jill would visit me regularly to make sure Jade’s needs were being met and I had everything I needed to look after her properly.
I saw Jill to the front door. ‘I’ll phone tomorrow to see how things are going,’ she said. ‘You may have to be firm when it comes to Tyler going. He’s looking very settled and remember he’s used to staying with Jade. Eight o’clock and he says goodbye.’
‘All right, I will,’ I said. Jill had a lot of experience working with teenagers and I appreciated her advice.
Having seen Jill out I returned to the sitting room. It was nearly seven o’clock and we needed to eat. ‘Are you both OK?’ I asked Jade and Tyler. ‘I’ll see where Adrian and Paula are and then I’ll make dinner. It won’t take long.’
Jade didn’t say anything but Tyler nodded. I smiled positively and, leaving the sitting room, I went upstairs.
I appreciated Adrian and Paula might feel a bit awkward fostering a teenager, and might do so for a few days, but hiding in their bedrooms wouldn’t help; they needed to come down and be sociable. I too felt a little awkward and clearly Jade and Tyler were struggling too. I found Paula in Adrian’s bedroom, where they were both playing with the robotic crab he’d had for Christmas.
‘I’m starving, Mum,’ Adrian said as soon as I walked in. ‘When will dinner be ready?’
‘Ten minutes,’ I said. ‘And while I make dinner I want you two to go downstairs and talk to Jade and Tyler. We can’t just leave them sitting there by themselves.’
‘Do we have to?’ Paula sighed.
‘Yes. It’s polite. If you feel awkward – in your own home – imagine how Jade must be feeling.’
‘Is that boy staying?’ Adrian asked.
‘Tyler. Yes, just for dinner and then he’ll be going home.’
‘When?’ Adrian asked, tersely.
‘At eight o’clock.’
‘I’ll be in bed then,’ Paula moaned.
‘Exactly, so you can come down now and talk to them. They don’t bite.’
Adrian and Paula made no move to do as I asked. ‘Now, please,’ I said more firmly.
Paula pulled a face but they both stood. Then, without their usual enthusiasm for spending time with new children, they followed me downstairs and into the sitting room. ‘Adrian and Paula have come to join you,’ I said brightly as we went in.
Tyler and Jade looked at them blankly and Adrian and Paula looked back equally blankly. Usually when we fostered younger children Adrian and Paula suggested games or activities to ‘break the ice’ and make the children feel welcome, but I realized that they now felt a bit intimated and shy.
‘Perhaps you’d all like a game of Sunken Treasure?’ I suggested. ‘It’s a game for all ages.’
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‘What’s Sunken Treasure?’ Tyler asked, reasonably enthusiastically.
Seeing Tyler’s interest Adrian said: ‘I’ll get it from the cupboard.’
‘Thank you,’ I said.
Adrian went to the cupboard in the conservatory containing toys and games and returned with the large boxed game, which he set on the coffee table in front of Jade and Tyler.
‘Cor, that looks good,’ Tyler said, taking off the lid and peering in. ‘We ain’t got nothing like that at my house.’
Encouraged by Tyler’s enthusiasm and easy manner, Adrian and Paula pulled up a stool each as Tyler began removing the contents from the box: the board on which the game was played, showing brightly coloured underwater scenes in 3-D, a dice, shaker, various galleon boats and little treasure chests containing gold, sliver and pearls.
Jade shuffled to the edge of the sofa so that she too could see.
‘How do you play?’ Tyler asked.
‘You all choose a galleon,’ I said, picking up one of the little boats. ‘Then you take turns to shake the dice and move the galleon around the board, like this. If it stops over the treasure chest, the chest rises from the bottom of the ocean and attaches itself to your boat.’
‘Wow! How does it do that?’ Tyler asked, the little boy in him surfacing.
‘There’s a small magnet at the base of the boat,’ I said, turning over one of the boats to show him. ‘And another magnet in the treasure chest.’ I opened one of the chests and pointed it out. ‘Magnets attract.’
‘That’s cool,’ Tyler said, impressed.
‘The person who has the most treasure wins,’ I said. ‘But you have to watch out for the killer sharks and giant octopus; they eat you and your treasure.’ I pointed to the little models of open-mouthed sharks with rows of vicious teeth and giant octopuses with long, thick tentacles. ‘Adrian will explain the rules while I make dinner.’
Feeling the ice had been broken, I left the four of them grouped around the game while I went into the kitchen to cook the spaghetti and heat the bolognese sauce. Toscha, our cat, miaowed; her dinner was late too and I fed her before turning my attention to ours.
My first impression of Jade and Tyler was that, while pleasant, they were young and immature and would struggle to cope with a baby. I didn’t know what involvement Tyler intended to have with his child but realistically – given that he was sixteen and still at school – he wouldn’t be able to offer much in the way of support. Whether or not Jade could cope alone with a baby remained to be seen and that wasn’t really any concern of mine. My role was to see Jade through the next month, after which she would go to a mother-and-baby placement.
I thought it wouldn’t be long before Adrian and Paula felt more at ease around Jade (and Tyler) and vice versa. Excited voices soon rose from the sitting room as sunken treasure was found and then lost, which seemed to confirm my optimism for them all getting along. But as I lowered the spaghetti into the pan of boiling water, Tyler’s voice rose above the others: ‘Fuck no! It fell off. That’s not fucking fair!’
Chapter Four
First Evening
Leaving the spaghetti boiling in the pan, I left the kitchen and met Paula who was coming out of the sitting room and on her way to me.
‘Mum, that big boy swore,’ she whispered, clearly worried.
‘I know, I heard,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll deal with it.’
While swearing might be acceptable in Tyler’s house and with his friends, it wasn’t acceptable in my house in front of Adrian and Paula. I knew from previous experience – with other children I’d fostered – that if I didn’t stop the swearing now it would escalate. And although Tyler wasn’t a child I was fostering I had a feeling we’d be seeing a lot of him, so I needed to put in place the ground rules straightaway.
As I entered the sitting room Adrian looked up at me anxiously, aware the words Tyler had used weren’t acceptable, while Jade and Tyler were concentrating on and enjoying the game. Indeed, having got over whatever it was he thought was unfair, Tyler was happily telling Jade to hurry up, as it was her turn.
‘Er … Tyler,’ I said, taking a few steps into the room. ‘Please don’t swear. There are children present.’
‘Yeah, sure,’ he said amicably. ‘Sorry.’
I smiled reassuringly at Adrian and Paula who, relieved that the matter had been dealt with so easily, returned to the game.
I returned to the kitchen and ten minutes later called everyone to come, as dinner was ready. They must have been very hungry, for they didn’t protest at having to break off from their game, which wasn’t finished. I could see Paula was tired and 7.30 was late for her to be eating, so as soon as we’d eaten I would take her upstairs for her wash and to bed. Once everyone was at the table I served the meal. When Jade was seated at the dining table her bump was even more emphasized, as it stopped her from getting close to the table. I could see Adrian and Paula stealing surreptitious glances at her as we ate and I knew that certainly Paula would have questions later about bumps and babies.
The first few meals – and indeed the first few days after a new child arrives – are often a little strained, with everyone reserved and not saying much. However, this wasn’t true of that evening, thanks to Tyler, who seemed very relaxed and at home and led the conversation. He began by saying how nice the spaghetti bolognese was, which immediately won him a place in my heart, and then between mouthfuls he talked easily to Adrian and Paula, so that after a while I asked him: ‘Do you have brothers or sisters? You’re good with children.’
‘Yeah, two,’ Tyler said, sucking a long piece of spaghetti into his mouth until it disappeared with a loud plop, making Adrian and Paula laugh. ‘I’ve got a brother and sister, younger than me. They’re great kids. I love them and me mum. She’s made a lot of sacrifices to bring us up and I’m grateful.’ Which I thought was a lovely thing to say, especially coming from a teenage boy. Tyler also said he didn’t see much of his dad, as he only appeared a few times a year – when he wanted a loan from his mum. So he didn’t really know him and he hadn’t been a ‘proper dad’.
‘That’s why I’m gonna make sure I’m there for my kid,’ Tyler continued. ‘I want my kid to have a proper dad. I’m gonna to do all the things dads should do and see my kid behaves proper as well.’ Highly commendable, I thought, although I did wonder how he was going to achieve this in practice, given that he was at school and didn’t have a job or home of his own.
‘Does your dad live with you?’ Tyler then asked Adrian and Paula.
Adrian shook his head and looked embarrassed, while Paula looked at me to explain, as she usually did when her father was mentioned.
‘Sadly he doesn’t live with us any more,’ I said. ‘Although he does see Adrian and Paula regularly.’
‘It ain’t the same, though,’ Tyler said. ‘Dads should be there for their kids.’
Although I agreed with this I always tried to stay positive for Adrian’s and Paula’s sakes and not lament over what could or should have been.
‘Absolutely,’ I said. ‘But sometimes we don’t have control over events and we just have to make the best of what we have. That’s what we do and from what you’re saying that’s what you do too.’
‘Yeah, and I’m going to be there for my child. I promised Jade.’
Jade didn’t say anything but concentrated on her food.
Tyler was the first to finish and thanked me for the meal. He was then eager to be away from the table to finish the game of Sunken Treasure, just like a big loveable kid. He encouraged the others to ‘hurry up’ so that they could finish the game. Adrian and Paula ate faster while Jade, who’d said little throughout the meal, finished her meal at her own pace. She was slow in this, as she was in her other movements, as many women are in the late stages of pregnancy – a result of weight gain, hormones and sheer exhaustion.
To give him his due, Tyler waited until Jade had finished before leaving the table, and then the four of them r
eturned to the sitting room to finish their game while I cleared the table. Five minutes later I heard Tyler shout he’d won and I called them for pudding – apple crumble and ice cream, which again Tyler said was very nice and thanked me for. Once we’d all finished I said it was time for Paula to go to bed and told her to say goodnight, which she did without a fuss.
‘Shall we play another game of Sunken Treasure?’ Tyler asked Adrian.
I glanced at the wall clock: it was 7.50. ‘One quick game and then we all say goodnight,’ I said, mindful of Jill’s advice.
‘Sure,’ Tyler said easily and dashed into the sitting room, closely followed by Adrian, who was clearly enjoying playing with Tyler. Jade followed more slowly and seemed happy to go along with whatever Tyler suggested. I thought that once Tyler had gone home and Adrian and Paula were in bed I’d have a chance to talk to Jade and get to know her better.
Paula and I went upstairs and once we were in the bathroom and couldn’t be overheard Paula’s questions began. ‘Is Tyler the baby’s daddy?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’
‘How can he be? He’s only a boy.’
‘He’s old enough to father a child,’ I said.
‘What does “to father a child” mean?’
‘Make a baby.’
‘Why did he want to do that?’
‘Because he likes Jade a lot.’
‘Does he still go to school?’
‘Yes.’
‘He can’t go to school and be a daddy, can he?’
I appreciated how confusing all this was to an eight-year-old. ‘Well, he finishes school soon,’ I said. ‘But you’re right. He’s too young really to be a father. Now wash your face, please.’
Paula picked up the face flannel but it didn’t reach the water or her face. ‘Why didn’t he wait to make a baby?’ she asked, looking at my reflection in the mirror above the basin.
‘Well, sometimes people make a baby when they don’t mean to,’ I said. ‘It’s called an accident, although the parents still love the baby when it’s born.’
