Who’s to say that Niles is even interested in pursuing me anyway? It isn’t as if he’s made any attempt to further connect with me since the party. It could very well be that he’s trying to avoid me as much as I am him. Which, admittedly, isn’t very much. I am, after all, sitting here stalking him. So I guess it goes without saying that I’m already setting the groundwork for yet another potentially bad decision.
I guess it also goes without saying, then, that I must not care that much what consequences may lie ahead if this doesn’t pan out how I want. What can I say? A girl gets bored doing the nine-to-five every day. Like Jack famously typed, all work and no play makes Elle a dull girl. And if there’s one thing I refuse to do in this life, it’s dying with regrets over the risks I haven’t taken.
With little hesitation and before that little voice inside my head can talk me out of it, I click on the lightning icon and a window pops up in the corner of my screen, and then I’m typing a brief but efficient message.
“Hey, stranger! I had fun at the party the other night. We should hang out. Drinks?”
3
I have to admit, I didn’t think he’d take me up on it. But here I am, sitting across from Niles Prescott, and I’m nervous. I twist the cranberry red Cosmo in front of me, avoiding eye contact.
For some reason I don’t fully understand, Niles looks hot. Hotter than I remember him being. Maybe it was the kiss. Actually, I know it was the kiss. I can’t get it out of my head, and every time I look at him and see that shy, reserved smile as his eyes dart away from mine, I want to do it again.
Niles isn’t classically handsome, but he does have that certain je ne sais quoi that’s getting my engines revving. I have so many questions running through my head, but one stands out more than the others.
As I look up and catch his green-eyed gaze again, I make a decision. I’m just going to say it. “Are you gay?”
Niles’ eyes and nostrils flare, and he goes from leaning forward to forcing his back against the chair in a flash. He stares at me, his mouth gaping as he grasps for an answer.
“What on earth would make you think that?”
I shake my head. “Forget it. Bad info.”
“From who?”
Ah, crap. If I snitch on Colleen, it’ll only cause him to ask more questions, and that will eventually lead to me having to tell him that the whole office is in his personal business, and then things will get awkward. Well, more so than they are right now. Only I can just imagine how terrible it will be for him to show his face at work tomorrow. And every day after that.
I wave my hand through the air while picking up my cocktail and lifting it to my lips, saying, “No one important,” just before I take a drink.
He scowls and his lips twist in dissatisfaction, but he doesn’t follow up with the question I expect him to ask. He doesn’t try to press me for answers, and it surprises me as much as it impresses. He has self-control that I wish I possessed.
“Is that why you asked me out tonight?” he grumbles, and I can tell he’s reached the wrong conclusion about tonight.
“No!” God no. Does he truly have no idea that I have developed a craving for him? As unhealthy as it may be. I watch him for a long moment before he finally dares to look at me again, and when I see the host of questions staring back at me, I know I have to fess up. “Truth be told, I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.” I chuckle, and then down the rest of my cocktail, wishing it came with free refills because this man is twisting me up into knots, and right now I’d love to drown every one of my burgeoning insecurities in alcohol.
“So you tracked me down and asked me out,” he surmises, a smile in his voice. When I look up, I see he’s wearing a matching expression, and I return it, a fraction of that nervous energy releasing from my insides.
“Basically.”
Visibly bolstered, he takes a swig of his beer and continues. “I’m glad you did. I haven’t stopped thinking about it either.” His gaze falls to my lips, and I can’t resist the urge to run my tongue over them. Hell, I can still remember with perfect clarity the way it felt to have his mouth pressed against mine.
Those green eyes darken and I die a little inside, wanting nothing more than to have permission to climb across the table that separates us and wrap my lips around his.
“I’m game for a repeat performance if you are.” I shrug, allowing him the room to back out, just in case. I don’t want to come on too strong, but I also don’t want to miss an opportunity.
Finishing his beer, he says, “As much as I’d love that, I’m not a fast and loose kind of guy.”
And there you have it. Niles wasn’t that into me. Deflated ego aside, I try to play it off. “That’s cool. Can’t know unless you try, right?” I’m speaking to myself mostly. In a lot of ways, I’ve taken notes from the male playbook on dating. I cast my net wide and wait to see how many fish I can reel in. Tonight, it appears that I’ve come up empty, and that’s okay. At least it wasn’t flat-out rejection, but it still stings all the same.
Niles leans in. “You got me all wrong, Elle. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I take things slower than most. There are certain…stipulations that I have to consider before I get into any kind of relationship.” He looks away when he says this, and I get the distinct impression he has something to hide.
My curiosity piques again, and I’m all ears. Propping my chin on the heel of my hand, I mirror him, leaning in and giving him all of my attention. “What kind of stipulations are we talking about?”
All kinds of possibilities rush through my mind, but nothing even close to what Niles reveals.
“I’m polyamorous.”
My hand drops as I sit back. “Poly what?” I have this sudden image of him surrounded by a dozen women on a ranch out in the middle of nowhere, lavished with attention and a few dozen kids running around. I don’t think he has kids—yet—but I instantly don’t want any part of it.
He takes a deep breath and lets it out in a huff. “Polyamorous. I prefer to be in relationships that involve more than one person. You saw my pictures,” he surmises. “My friends.”
I nod mutely.
“We have an arrangement.”
“So you are gay.” He’s telling me he’s in a relationship with those guys, but his earlier denial of being gay doesn’t match up.
“No.” He shakes his head adamantly. “We don’t engage with each other like that.”
“Then how?” The way his eyes flash on me makes me aware of the judgmental tone I used, but I don’t know how else to phrase it. I am judging. Every second that I sit here and listen to this, the more I think of all the stuff I do know about these types of arrangements. They’re not entirely legal. They’re shunned from society. Abnormal. Shameful. Cast in the same light as cheating. Having multiple partners isn’t normal, and yet, as I sit across from Niles and think about this budding desire I feel for him, the certain level of respect I hold for him in general, I find myself willing to hear him out.
“It’s complicated.” He’s growing frustrated with me and having to explain himself, and I totally get it. It’s never fun to have to defend your choices when you don’t see anything wrong with them. “Look, never mind. This was a bad idea. I should go.” He stands as he digs his wallet out of his back pocket, and I feel a surge of panic and loss rise up inside me.
Reaching out, I stay his retreat with a hand on his wrist. “Please. Explain it to me.” I look up at him with pleading eyes. “I really do want to understand.”
Niles hesitates, then he reclaims his seat. There’s tension between us now, an unwelcome visitor, but I have to know. Something inside of me begs for it, to be a part of whatever world he’s struggling to hide in.
Staring down at the table, at his folded hands in front of him, Niles looks beaten down, as if he’s had this conversation a million times before and is exhausted. Feeling a sense of responsibility along with compassion, I reach out with both hands and frame his clasped ones be
tween mine, encouraging him to continue with just a look.
“My friends and I share a close bond. Best friends, almost brothers. We share everything. A home, a life, and we view things through the same lens. Women,” he clarifies when I pass him a questioning look. “We’ve always shared the same taste, the same kinks, but individually, nothing ever works out. Then one night, when we were completed wasted, we found ourselves with a woman. She was stunningly beautiful, and she wanted not just one, but all of us.”
“At once?” My voice is higher than normal, and I’m aware of what I must look like, with my eyes wider than dinner plates and my mouth hanging open in shock.
“Yes. She was adventurous.” He smiles wistfully, no doubt returning to that moment in time.
I’m instantly jealous. Who was this woman? Is she still hanging around?
“She took us down a path that, once traveled, we couldn’t leave behind. It shaped us, our futures, our choices. We decided that anything we did from there on, including relationships, we would do together.”
“So that’s why you don’t date.” It was starting to make sense now, everything that Colleen had said.
His brows pinch together. “I date.” He makes a show of sweeping his eyes across our table and the room in general, indicating that he was on a date with me right now.
“Okay, now I’m confused.” Because he was right. He was on a date, with me. But where were his friends? If they did everything together, shouldn’t they be here too?
“I’m sure you can understand that this isn’t easy for us. People tend not to understand, and they judge harshly our choices. We have to be careful who we choose to engage with. So, when one of us is interested in someone, we date. We evaluate whether that person is a potential fit for the rest of us.”
“So…you’re testing me.”
“All dating is a kind of test, but yes.”
“Am I passing?” I’m not sure why I’m even asking this. I’m not sure what he’s selling is something I’m willing to even buy. Even that thought scares me a little because now I have to wonder when I began to consider this a possibility in my life. Three men? That’s just wrong.
Isn’t it?
“So far, yes. You’re still here.” He opens his hands and takes mine into them, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I think my friends would like you, Elle.”
I bite down on my lower lip. The picture of Niles and his friends looms bright in my mind once more, and instead of being repulsed by the possibilities, I find myself considering them.
Three. Can I handle that many men at once? Do I even want to? I can’t deny that I’m intrigued.
“Tell me more.”
4
Our conversation takes us well into the morning hours, and we end up closing down the place, the owner’s “Last call!” announcement causing us to realize how late it is.
“I’m not ready to say good night,” I admit as Niles walks me out into the cold night air. Only a few weeks away from Christmas, it’s chilly enough to cause a shiver, and I curl my arms around my midsection to stave off the worst of it.
Like a true gentleman, Niles opens one arm and steps in, taking me under his wing. He’s warm and cozy and smells like a dream, and I inhale his crisp, woodsy scent into my lungs, committing it to memory in case this is as far as things go between us.
Although, I have a feeling tonight isn’t stopping here. In fact, I’m banking on it.
After all of the talking and questions and explanations, I’m beyond interested in experiencing a taste of Niles’ world. It sounds kinky and hot and incredibly sexy. Nothing like what I’d been imagining.
They aren’t a multi-woman household. On the contrary, Niles and his friends are one-woman kind of men. Like everyone else, they’re looking for “the one.” It just so happens that whoever that one woman turns out to be, she’s going to be made for all three of them.
Niles explained to me that in their world, the woman stands at the center, garnering all of their attention. They love her equally, and she does the same in return. He made it sound as if the whole thing is very normal, natural, and similar to the dynamics of a one-on-one relationship, but with more love being exchanged because there are four hearts involved instead of just two.
I admit that it sounds great. When I envision the three of them loving me unconditionally, lavishing me with attention, I get all warm and gooey inside. I want that.
I’ll also admit to a bit of fear because relationships are so damn hard. Of the ones I’ve been involved in, they were usually one-sided and I’m no stranger to being cheated on. Imaging not one but three men putting me through the wringer at once freaks me out. I don’t think my poor heart could handle that kind of heartbreak. I’ve always been a one-man kind of woman, dedicated to my partner. I’ve just never been gifted the same in return.
But as we walk toward my car, now covered in a light dusting of snow, I remind myself I don’t have to make a decision on my future now. I have time to explore and figure things out.
“Do you wanna come back to my place?” Niles asks as we reach the bumper of my cherry red Fiat. “We can continue our discussion there. I can’t guarantee that the guys are up, since we all have work tomorrow, but you might have a chance to meet one or both of them.”
I consider the offer, wanting to curl up on a couch or maybe a bed with Niles and soak up more of his warmth, but… “Nah. It’s probably not a good idea,” I reason. “It’s late, and like you said, we all have to work in the morning.”
I can tell he wishes my answer was different, but he grudgingly accepts it, nonetheless. “All right, Elle. Then I guess this is where we part ways.”
“I guess it is.” I bite my lip again, and he does the same, and I can’t help smiling at that hint of shyness returning to him. He’s been so open the past couple of hours, I almost forgot the Niles I’ve come to know is the one standing in front of me.
“I’d like to kiss you again, if that’s okay.”
I grin, unable to stop myself. “If you don’t, I will. I’ve been dying for this all evening.”
I turn into him at the same time he turns into me, and that arm around my shoulder turns into a brace that holds me close against his chest and keeps me upright as Niles lands another earth-shattering, knee-wobbling kiss on me.
I’m not quite sure how long we stand there making out in the middle of the restaurant parking lot, but it’s long enough that I begin to feel the chill numbing my thighs through the thin pair of jeggings and kiss the exposed parts of my body.
“As much as I’d love to continue standing here…” I break away, already feeling the loss.
Niles nods. “Yeah, we should get going. It’s late,” he reiterates what we both already know.
“See you at work?”
“See you there,” he agrees.
Although, I’ve never seen much of him around the office, I feel certain that tomorrow, I’ll see plenty of him.
I’m not wrong.
Just a few hours later, running on little sleep and far too much caffeine, I cross paths with Niles at the water cooler. How cliché, right? But I love it. He gives me a flimsy cup of water and goes on his way, careful not to reveal our secret as there are others around.
This place is a hotbed for running mouths. It goes without saying that neither of us wants our date getting around to our coworkers.
I work studiously for the majority of the day, pushing papers as per usual, while diligently attempting to ignore Colleen, who has absolutely zero ability to put a lid on it for longer than thirty minutes at a time.
She’s a good woman, nice and sweet, but there are days like today when I just want to turn around and slap a strip of duct tape over her mouth.
It’s hard enough to focus on my job without the added struggle of resisting the urge to correct her on the falsities of the latest gossip, a good portion of which involves Niles and his sexuality. My need to defend him is surprising, even to me, and I have to check myself multiple
times. If I open that can of worms, the whole building will be prying into our personal business, and whatever potential we could have had as a couple or…quadruple?...will be destroyed. I won’t allow that, especially since I haven’t had my curiosity properly satisfied yet.
After a brief break for lunch, in which I choose to eat at my desk as always, the woman who delivers mail and other documents of importance makes her daily rounds, passing me a large stack of folders containing, you guessed it, more papers.
I sigh and smile as I thank her and lay the heavy stack down in front of me. An hour ago, I was close to clearing my plate, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and now the clock has been reset and my cup runneth over. I don’t hate my job, but it is a tedious affair with little reward. One day, I promise myself, I will find my niche and all of the puzzle pieces will fall into place. This job is just a stepping stone on the path leading in the right direction.
I open my new workload, intent on getting a jumpstart before the day is over, and find myself looking down at a bright pink mini post-it note that simply says: Meet me in storage.
My eyes narrow and my heart thumps. It doesn’t have a signature, but inside I know exactly who it’s from. I’m intrigued. There is no time or date stamp to indicate when I should make my way to said storage room, but I figure there’s no sense in delaying the inevitable. Of course I’d be following the direction given. How can I not?
The anticipation of seeing Niles, alone, drives me out of my chair. “I’m going to grab a snack from the machine. Do you want anything?” I ask Colleen.
She stops typing long enough to tilt her head back and stare at the ceiling in consideration. I know her choice before she says it because she gets the same thing every day: a pack of Ding Dongs.
“Ding Dongs would be great,” she says predictably. “Do you want the money for it?”
Under the Mistletoe: A Reverse Harem Christmas Novel Page 2
