by L. T. Varner
“Mike, please turn on the heat back here because I’m freezing,” I said, rubbing my hands together.
Without looking at me, Collin reached over and grabbed my hands to try and warm them up. His hands were hot, and I wondered how he was warm when he had on less of a coat then I did. I didn’t yank my hands back as he pulled them up to his mouth and blew his warm breath over them. He glanced at me and noticed I was watching him. He began to kiss my fingers slowly. God, what this man did to me.
On the ride to my house, we were sitting closer together by the minute when he put his hand on my thigh, perhaps a little too far north. Why is he doing this? I wondered while removing his hand. Very casually he put his hand back on my thigh, still keeping hold of my left hand. I knew going with Daniel for a week was going to be a huge mistake. Once we get to the house, I have to tell him I can’t go, I reasoned. It felt like Collin was taunting me and this was all a game to him.
Trying not to concentrate on the location of his hand, I gazed out the window. I felt his hand slide up my leg further, exactly where it was off limits to him. Unfortunately, this amazing feeling surged through me as I tried with every fiber of my being not to make a sound. I closed my eyes and attempted to think about something unpleasant, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing how he affected me. The way I could feel him staring at me, I knew he was enjoying watching me struggle. Slowly, I reached down and pushed his hand off of me again. He apparently had had enough of making me uncomfortable and finally left me alone the rest of the way to my house.
Upon arrival, I quickly went up to my room. Trying to regain some of my composure, I leaned against the counter in my bathroom and took deep breaths. Mike came in looking at me like he already knew what was bothering me.
“Mike, I am fine; just needed a moment to think,” I said while taking off my jacket.
With a smile on his face he said, “After that car ride, I think we all need a moment free from the sexual tension radiating off you two.”
“You were watching, weren’t you?” I asked, feeling my face turn red.
“Guilty, but I couldn’t help it. Every person in that car couldn’t help but notice. Danni, the way he watches you is intense,” Mike said as he stood in front of me, putting his arms around my neck.
“He is getting married, remember?” I mumbled, leaning into his chest.
His expression softened as if he had forgotten about that detail. “What’re you going to do then?”
I knew he was asking if I was planning on going on tour or staying home. I didn’t know what to say as Daniel entered the bathroom. Mike squeezed me close to him as we hugged each other tighter, this gave me an extra minute to think.
After a long silence I said, “Daniel, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go with you.”
He looked at me like I had just taken his favorite teddy bear away. It broke my heart. I walked over and hugged him, and his hands instantly went to my ass.
“I promise I’ll keep Collin away from you,” he said, trying to molest me further.
I couldn’t help but laugh at him as I pushed his naughty hands away and said, “I am over it, and the thought of disappointing you is more than I can take. So, yes, I will go with you if you hold up your end of the deal.”
He looked relieved and said, “That won’t be a problem. On my honor, I will avenge and protect my dirty girl, who apparently isn’t wearing underwear. Commando, I want to play, too.”
“Seriously, Daniel, is sex all you think about?” Mike asked, rolling his eyes at him.
“I speak three languages, Mike: English, Sarcasm, and my favorite, Dirty. I can teach you Dirty if you want?” Daniel asked as I started packing my bag.
Twenty minutes later I was ready to go and not a moment too soon to get away from the ongoing argument over whether or not “Dirty” was a language. Daniel grabbed my bag and headed back downstairs. I hugged Mike goodbye and promised him I would call him the next day. He kissed me on the forehead and told me to have fun.
The ride back to the bus was much easier because I was the one driving this time. I was the only one who knew how to get to the schoolhouse where they had parked their buses. Daniel jumped in front again, so Collin was stuck in the back by himself and I was all right with that. At the schoolhouse, I only saw one bus and glanced at Daniel.
“Relax! The rest of the buses are at the truck stop fueling up. Short ride with them,” Daniel said, motioning to Collin, Rick, and Jake in the backseat.
I parked by the bus to leave my car out of the way of all the construction workers that were there every day. I wished they would finish already. I loved it out here in the country. It was quiet with no neighbors for ten miles in any direction. The only thing that bothered me was the massive fence Dad was putting in by the road so people couldn’t enter the property. He assured me that eventually people would start trying, especially if Collin and Daniel kept hanging around.
Daniel grabbed my bag and said with his typical dose of sarcasm intact, “Come on. I’ll show you to the bedroom.”
He had a way of making everything dirty, but it was hilarious. I followed Daniel to the back of the bus where he put my bag down and joked that this was home for the next week. It was a nice bus, but nothing like my dad’s. It could comfortably hold five or six people if only two planned on sleeping at a time. I made fun of him for how clean it was and he just mumbled that it was because of Collin and his obsession with cleanliness.
Collin and the others stayed toward the front as I questioned Daniel about how far it was to the truck stop. He thought only about an hour or so. He knew what I was getting at and patted my hand, trying to get me to relax. He started telling me about his schedule and what towns we would be stopping in and what they had to do at each one. It was interesting to hear about their work schedule. Now I could understand why it would get a little annoying after a while of being on tour. We lay on the bed talking when I felt the bus slowing down, and he sat up grumbling that it was time for them to go. The rest of the band had been playing video games and yelling loudly at each other for the last hour.
It was four in the morning by the time everyone got on their bus and back out on the road. Daniel was exhausted and fell onto the bed as I started getting up to sleep on the couch.
“Danni, I am okay sharing the bed if you are. You’re not my type. I can control myself when boobs are not involved.”
I started laughing and said, “I can share a bed with you because it would be too weird to date you. You are such a child. Daniel, grow up.” He threw a pillow at me and then tackled me on the bed.
I didn’t even question Daniel or his intentions because I just believed him. It was hard for me to trust many people, but Daniel was quickly becoming a comfort zone that I needed very much.
I had a hard time sleeping. Between Daniel snoring like a freight train and the movement of the bus, it was a lost cause. I finally managed to fall asleep about two hours after Daniel had.
I woke up and could tell we weren’t moving anymore. Reaching my hand out, I soon discovered Daniel was gone. I wondered where he was as I got up and walked to the front of the bus. I was the only one on the bus and thankfully the door was locked. I knew he was busy with all his press and meet and greets with fans and would be back when he could. I glanced at the clock and saw it was five in the afternoon. I wondered how I had managed to sleep that long without nightmares creeping in. I decided to take a quick shower.
When I turned off the water, I heard people talking and wondered how I was going to get to the bedroom in just a towel. Being naked in front of people still freaked me out. The five scars across my chest and stomach still made Mike look at me with pity on his face, so it was not a welcome reality to have other people see them.
I peeked my head out and saw Daniel on the couch talking to someone. He glanced over at me and shot me a huge smile.
“Need some help getting to the bedroom? Or, if you want to get dressed out here, I’m cool with
that.” I gave him an annoyed look, and he looked toward the opposite couch and said, “Excuse me, my girl is shy.”
Daniel held up a blanket so I would not be seen as I made a mad dash to the bedroom, knowing I wouldn’t forget to bring clothes with me next time. Getting dressed in old torn jeans and a football shirt, I put on some sparse make-up and decided I had no desire to do my hair. It was down to the middle of my back and super curly thanks to not having it cut or colored in the past year. I used to love going to the spa and getting pampered, but since the assault, I had avoided it.
I grabbed my baseball cap again and tucked my hair up, calling it good. After seeing all the girls who usually attended concerts, I had very little confidence in myself. At 5’5”, and a little over 130 pounds, I wasn’t bad to look at. But, the last year had taken its toll with the new physical and mental scars I now carried. I had been told many times I was sexy in a dark way. Mike had assured me that that was a good thing. He referred to it as “exotic beauty.” I had naturally tan skin, thanks to my mother being Spanish, but I was told I looked like my father and had inherited his aqua blue eyes. They stood out against my skin tone, and Mike said they easily drew attention.
I walked out to where Daniel was and this time he was alone looking at his phone. I sat beside him and asked who had been here, and he said it was just an interview he had had to do. He joked that I had timed my shower departure just right and not to be surprised if I saw on the internet or in a magazine that I was his new girlfriend.
“I’ll be your pretend girlfriend if you want me,” I said, throwing my arms around him making him drop his phone.
“No, thank you. That might hurt my chances of hooking up with girls with boobs,” he said, grabbing my hat and pulling it off.
We fell to the floor wrestling over the hat when the door opened, and Collin and Rick walked up.
“Don’t you ever knock, asshole?” Daniel shouted as he held me down and waved my hat out of my reach.
Collin laughed and sat down on the couch across from us. “And miss this? Never. Give me her damn hat and I will burn it.”
Doesn’t anyone like my hat? I wondered as I got it back from Daniel when he wasn’t looking. He quickly held me down and climbed on my stomach again, taking the hat again. Once again, he asked “who the king is” as Collin and Rick laughed at us. After finally answering him, he let me up and gave me back my hat.
He looked at me and asked, “Why do you always wear a hat?”
“I don’t know why. Just easy I guess. Why?” I asked, tucking my hair back up.
“You shouldn’t wear it. You look pretty with your hair down.”
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked as he pried the hat off once more.
He seemed serious that he wasn’t going to give it back as he went to the back to hide it. Dammit, that was the only hat I brought with me, so I made a mental note to scour the bus for it later. I didn’t even have a hair clip with me, so I had no choice but to let my hair down and it drove me nuts all around my face.
They started talking about band stuff, so I grabbed my laptop and tried to let them do their thing. I surfed the internet, looking at the favorite songs and videos of the week. Seeing a clip of the video with me in it, I covered my mouth and was thankful the sound wasn’t turned on. I started reading what people were saying about the video and was surprised. Some comments were a little offensive and one at the bottom just floored me. It asked who the model was and how to reach her agent.
I burst out laughing as Daniel grabbed my laptop from me. He started reading them out loud, especially the dirty ones. I got up to get my phone, still laughing to myself, agent? You have got to be kidding. I was texting Mike when I realized they were all looking at my laptop very intently.
“What are you guys looking at? Better not be porn on my computer!” I said, walking over to them.
“You, in Mexico, wearing an itty bitty red bikini. Brrrraaaavvvvvoooooo, Danni! I could bounce a quarter off that ass,” Daniel said as Collin ripped my laptop out of his hands and took it to the other couch away from him and Rick.
I grabbed my laptop from Collin and snapped it shut, not before he managed to send an email. I was sure he sent those pictures of me to himself as he grinned at me.
“Don’t you guys have a show or something to do?” I asked, annoyed.
They looked at each other, and Rick said, “I’m staying on this bus tonight hoping the bikini will make an appearance.”
Collin offered to pay Daniel to let him remain on the bus as Daniel just sat and laughed at them. I figured from then on I was probably going to be the one everyone made fun of for the rest of the trip, and I was.
By the third day Daniel and I had a good system worked out so, I could sleep. My sweet Daniel. His bus was always busy with people hanging around, especially Collin and Rick. One evening after one of their amazing shows, I asked him about that, and he mentioned that generally everyone spent time on Rick’s bus, where the naked girls and parties usually were. He joked that he liked having me around so people would hang out on his bus for a change.
The next couple days I noticed everyone stayed away, and I wondered why. I soon answered my question when I saw that the girlfriends had arrived. Seeing Collin’s fiancée just got under my skin and I tried to avoid her. One night while the guys were on stage, she sat down beside me, and I cringed.
“I know you don’t like me, but I’m Steph, Collin’s fiancée,” she said in her whiny voice. Daniel had imitated her pretty well. I tried not to laugh.
Ugh, I just wanted to hit her. I had only seen her from a distance and up close she was as fake as they came. Fake bottle blond hair, fake tan, too white teeth, way too much makeup spackled on her face, and clothes three sizes too small for her short, round shape.
I looked at her and replied nicely, “I don’t hate you, Steph. I have never even been introduced to you, so don’t assume things about me.”
“Oh, sorry, it’s just I have been to your bar a few times and Collin said to stay away from you because you don’t like me,” she mumbled while playing with the giant rock on her finger.
“Oh, he said that, did he?” I asked, my words dripping with acid.
She took this as a girls’ bonding moment and went on about how much fun she had at our bar and how much she liked to watch us play. She added that she was glad when Collin told her that he was going to use me in his video because she knew she could trust him with me since we were just friends. Am I hearing all this crap right?
“Who told you we were friends? Honestly, Steph, I hate Collin. I want nothing to do with him. He’s an asshole,” I said, looking directly at her.
“Well, he did. He said he thinks of you as one of his closest friends and hopes to work more with you.” She seemed more confused by the minute.
“I am friends with Daniel. The rest of them just come with being around Daniel,” I said, it felt great to be a little mean to her. “No offense, Steph, but I think Collin is a jackass. I hope you think long and hard before you marry him.”
She grumbled, “Yeah, he is with his quick temper.”
I wanted to burst out laughing at how gullible she was but didn’t think that would be best. I couldn’t help myself and let her ramble on about how he was never around, and if she didn’t tell him what to do, he was just annoying. As soon as she started talking about their sex life, I stood up and put my hands up.
“Whoa, Steph, some details I don’t want to know.”
She stood up and asked, “You want to get a beer with me?”
This girl can’t take a hint, I thought. I just wanted to get away from her. Although, seeing us together might scare the crap out of Collin, which could be fun. We had a beer and talked more, and, as it turned out, I didn’t mind her as much as I thought I would, other than the fact that perhaps she did like Collin’s money more than Collin.
She followed me back to the bus, and I told her I was going to get some sleep. She asked if they could ride with us to
the next town to maybe have drinks and play cards or something. I could tell she wasn’t real bright and told her it wasn’t my bus, so I didn’t have any say in the matter. She rambled excitedly that she would talk to Daniel after the show and then hugged me. Freaking hugged me!
As she was skipping away, I wondered if I was on one of those blooper shows or something. This couldn’t have possibly really happened. I got on the bus and prayed Daniel would come up with some excuse for us.
I put on my comfy sweatpants and a white tank top with my black bra showing underneath, along with my baseball cap because Daniel sucks at hiding things. I sat on the couch and turned on the video games when Daniel sat down next to me with sweat rolling off him.
“Dude, you stink,” I said, pausing my game and leaning away from him as he tried to hug me.
“How did you find your hat?” he asked, grabbing it from my head again and throwing it.
“I will always find it. We are on a bus, pretty small space, genius.”
He looked at me and said, “You should put a different shirt on.”
“Why?” I asked as he had never complained before about my shirts.
“We have company coming over, genius,” he said, mocking me this time.
It dawned on me who and I just looked at him and whined, “You didn’t!”
He looked down at his hands and said, “I couldn’t say no. When Steph wants something, Collin makes sure she gets it, but the look on Collin’s face when she told him that you two had been hanging out was priceless.”
That did make me feel a little better. “Can’t you cancel or something?” I asked as he took off his shirt and walked down the hall.
“No, that would be too easy.” He leaned into the bathroom and turned the shower on before turning around to look at me. As he unbuttoned his pants, he asked, “You want to join me?”
