by L. T. Varner
I tried to laugh and instead felt my nose start throbbing more because of my sudden movement.
“Where are you going?” Daniel asked, pushing me back up.
I felt extremely lightheaded, but the doctor assured me that this would improve soon. He held a pen in front of me and asked me to try to touch it. I could see it, but when I reached out, it wasn’t there. Daniel started laughing, and someone reached behind me and hit him.
“Can I please go home?” I asked, frustrated that someone had yet again pushed me back up.
The doctor chuckled and said, “I doubt you could find your way out right now.”
When I felt the person on my other side push me back up I said, “Now this is getting dumb.”
I heard another familiar laugh and couldn’t decide who it belonged to. I figured it must be Mark. I felt like I could finally breathe when he removed some more cotton from my nose.
“How bad?” I asked, looking at the doctor.
Daniel laughed and said, “It actually helped you in the looks department.”
I could tell the person on my left had hit him again, and I said, “Thanks, but next time, aim lower.”
When they let me lie back down, I heard my dad thank the doctor and felt him touch my leg. He was my comfort and safety net, so I gave into the drowsiness and closed my eyes.
When I woke up, I realized there was someone behind me and in front of me. Well, this is weird, I thought. It was quiet as I opened my eyes and I could now see a lot better. Things weren’t quite as fuzzy as I looked to see who was in front of me. I smiled seeing Daniel sleeping. I slapped him lightly on the cheek and woke him up.
Opening his eyes with a smile growing across his face, he said, “You can see me now, can’t you?”
I giggled and nodded as he pulled me closer to his chest and nuzzled my neck. The person behind me started moving, too.
“You okay? Do you hurt?” Collin’s rushed voice asked behind me.
I rolled onto my back and looked at Collin with his just-woke-up look of tussled hair and stubble along his jaw, along with sadness in his eyes.
“You’re here?” I asked, reaching up and touching his jaw.
He smiled his sly smile at me and said, “You look beautiful when you wake up next to me.”
Daniel burst out laughing and said, “Well, I guess, if her swollen nose and black eyes do something for you.”
“You can leave, Daniel, or I can throw you out the window, your choice,” Collin said, as though it were a matter of fact.
“Fine, I can find a hot nurse and maybe see if she would like to examine my nuts for me,” Daniel said as he got up.
After Daniel had left, I rolled over to face Collin as he ran his fingertips down my cheek.
“You okay?” He asked softly, and I nodded at him.
“You’re here,” I said, feeling elated even though I kept telling myself I wanted nothing to do with him. I was so in lovewith him, it was stupid.
“Danni, I need to be here with you. I am so sorry Jerry did this to you. He’s an asshole,” he said, leaning down and kissing my shoulder.
I started crying and said, “He said you told him.”
Collin stopped me and held onto me. “He is a liar, whatever he said. I have talked to him once in my life, and that was two years ago, and it wasn’t about you. God, Danni, you just mean so much . . .”
I wiped my cheek just as an older nurse came in asking if she could examine me. She motioned for Collin to get off the bed.
An hour later the doctor came in and signed me out, and this time, I passed all his tests. I was thrilled. Collin got a bag of clothes off the chair and mentioned that Mike had dropped them off earlier. I started pulling things from my bag, seeing my favorite pair of red sweats and a football T-shirt. Mike knows me so well, but where is he?
“Collin, where are Mike and Mark?” I asked, standing up to walk to the bathroom. I started to sway a little bit as Collin’s arms reached out and steadied me.
He said, “Mark’s dad died last night so Daniel and I assured them that we could take care of you.”
“Are they going to Colorado?” I asked, sitting back down on the bed and feeling awful for Mark as I realized I cared for the guy now. Daniel reentered the room looking bored. The nurse asked if she could take my IV out first so getting dressed would be easier, and I nodded yes. As she started pulling it out, I watched Daniel’s face go white right before he passed out.
“Oh my God, Daniel!” I yelled, trying to get up and go to him when Collin beat me to him with another nurse.
“Dipshit! Wake up, you little drama queen,” Collin said as he slapped Daniel’s cheek. He finally started to come around.
“Screw you, Collin, you drama king,” Daniel said, sitting up as a nurse helped him lean against the chair.
Collin and Daniel both grinned at each other, and that was when I noticed the connection between the two. They might claim to hate each other, but there was no denying they needed each other in some way.
The nurse asked me, “Do you need some help getting dressed?”
Before I could even answer, Collin said, “I can take care of her.”
What? She nodded toward him and then walked out with Daniel and the other nurses to get him some juice. He was milking his fainting spell for attention, especially, with the younger, cute nurse.
Collin and I sat alone for a couple of moments as he rubbed my hand with his.
“You okay?” I asked.
He looked at me and quietly said, “I am so sorry I have been an asshole to you. I just don’t understand any of this yet.” With his free hand, he motioned back-and-forth between us.
I pulled myself together, feeling uncomfortable with him acknowledging there was something between us. Obviously, neither of us knew what to do with it. With feelings of jealousy, love, and passion running through me, I did what I always do when I’m uncomfortable. I changed the subject.
“Can I go home?” I asked, picking up my sweatpants off the bed where he had placed them.
He nodded and stood up while he started pulling off the hospital gown around my shoulders. I was clueless as to what to say as he touched me, so I only sat there and let him take off the gown. Next, he helped me pull a T-shirt on, without a bra. Then he squatted down in front of me and pulled my underwear and sweatpants on. When he touched my bare skin, I felt a hot tingling sensation where his fingers had been. I craved more of his touch, and he must have as well since his hands ran up my thighs when he helped me stand up. I pulled them the rest of the way up with shaking hands. I wanted his hands everywhere on me.
Standing in front of him, I held onto his shoulders as I put on my flip flops. He whispered, “You have the most beautiful blue eyes. I have never seen eyes that color before.”
I thought the same thing about his as I wanted to lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him. He pulled away and said, “Come on, let’s get you home.”
When we got home, Daniel went to lie down. He felt slightly sick from fainting and Collin assured me that this was normal for Daniel. After sitting down and eating the tacos we had picked up on the way home, he disappeared as well after his phone rang for the sixth time in an hour.
Standing in the bathroom looking at my black and blue face, I heard, “What are you doing?”
I explained I was going to take a shower because I felt gross and he laughed and asked how I planned to do that. I still felt a little lightheaded, but I didn’t intend on admitting that to him. He already seemed to know, I guessed, by the way, I was holding onto the counter to stop from swaying.
I looked at him as he walked closer and I said, “I can be creative when I need to be.”
I walked farther into the bathroom and over to the shower, turning on the water as hot as I could stand it before I started taking my clothes off. I could feel him watching me as I threw them toward the laundry basket in the corner.
He asked, “You do realize you are completely missing the hamper, right?”
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As I then took off my underwear and kicked them off, I wondered if he was getting a good look at me standing there naked. I knew taunting him was mean, but he never looked away. I leaned in and touched the water, making sure it was hot enough before I stepped in and let the water run down my body. I put my head back into the stream and wondered if Collin had left since I hadn’t heard the door close. Placing my hands on the shower wall, I let the water hit my shoulders as I tried to relax and take in the last week. I suddenly felt his hands on my shoulders. I flinched as Collin started massaging my shoulders.
“Is this okay, Danni?” he asked just loud enough to hear over the water.
My heart was hammering in my chest, and I had butterflies in my stomach. Then he started washing me as I desperately tried to control myself from jumping into his arms and kissing him.
After washing my hair and rinsing it, he whispered close to my ear, “Turn around, baby.”
I slowly turned to him and realized he didn’t have any clothes on. I reached up and ran my fingers over his chest as he sucked in a quick breath of air. Goosebumps formed on his arms. I found myself closer and closer to him until there was no space between us. I was so turned on and desperately wanted to kiss him, but fortunately for me, a broken nose doesn’t make that possible.
He asked, “What are you thinking about?”
“You don’t want to know, Collin,” I replied, frustrated that we couldn’t go any further than this.
“It is probably the same thing I am thinking,” he said, pulling my wet hair back into a ponytail.
I said, “I don’t think so.”
He replied, “Okay, I will go first. I was thinking about the day of the video shoot and how I didn’t want to stop. I wish we hadn’t had an audience so I could have touched you more.”
I mumbled, “You laughed at me.”
He started laughing and said, “Did you really have an orgasm?”
“Shut up, Collin,” I said, trying to hide my face in his chest as I felt my cheeks turn bright red.
I could tell he was laughing at me. “It had been a while,” I said as he quit laughing.
“What were you thinking about?” he asked, circling his arms around my shoulders as our naked bodies pressed against each other.
“You, Collin. I always think about you.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Things I shouldn’t think about,” I said, letting my hands explore his back.
“I was furious seeing you and Daniel in the shower together, practically naked,” he whispered, tipping my chin up so we could look at each other.
“I guessed that. You know I adore Daniel like a brother, right?” I asked.
“After you came home, Daniel talked to me about that and said it wasn’t like that between you. So now I am trying to understand that.”
“Daniel means the world to me, but I don’t have the same feelings for him I seem to have for you,” I answered as he shut the water off that was turning cold.
We dried off in silence, both processing the conversation we had just had. I went to my closet to grab something to sleep in. As I pulled open a drawer, I felt him step up behind me. I closed my eyes, feeling his warmth when he leaned down and kissed my bare shoulder. Just as he had the last time he saw me naked, he touched my scars on my chest and stomach.
“Do they hurt anymore?” he asked, running his fingers over them again.
“No,” I whispered, standing in front of him.
After touching me in silence for a couple of minutes, I groaned, “I am so frustrated.”
He couldn’t stand it and started laughing at me. “What kind of frustrated?”
I could feel his breath on my neck and said, “You’re making it worse. And, by the way, your stunt in the back of the car didn’t help either.”
“But I got your attention, didn’t I?”
“Collin, you always have my attention. I won’t deny that.” I said, reaching back and touching his jean-covered thighs. Dammit, he got dressed.
“And you always have mine,” he whispered as he pulled the blue T-shirt he had given me out of my dresser drawer. “Wear this for me.”
After getting dressed, I crawled into bed, and he slid in behind me. We were playing a very dangerous game and we both knew it. I like to win, so I pulled off my shirt and rolled over so I was facing away from him, kicking off the covers. We lay there for a little bit before he propped himself up and was leaning over me. I turned back not knowing what else to do when he ran his hand down my side, over my hip and thigh.
“What are you doing?” I asked in a sad voice I couldn’t stop.
“Do you know how badly I want to touch you every time I see you? That day rolling around on that bed was a pretty spectacular day for me. I was selfish when I asked you to do that. I just wanted to touch you, and when you kissed me, it was the best moment for me in a very long time.”
Without realizing what I was saying I said, “When you touch me, I feel like my skin is on fire. I have never felt that before.”
He looked me in the eye as his lips parted and he slowly started touching me again. I had to take a deep breath to contain myself when he put his mouth on my shoulder. Why did he kiss my bare shoulders whenever he could?
He whispered, “I like the way I can change your breathing with a simple touch or kiss. At the video shoot when you arched your back and moaned, I almost lost control. I have never wanted someone as much as I want you.”
“I have no control around you, Collin,” I whispered as he nodded at me.
“I figured that out, too. When we bailed you out of jail, I planned on taking you back to the schoolhouse. I wanted to make love to you, but I got mad at myself when you told me how you felt about me. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, pushing me over on my back as he moved on top of me.
“I meant what I said to you. It scares the hell out of me, but I love you,” I said wrapping my legs around his waist.
“I have known that all along, Danni. The way you look at me gives it away.”
I put my hand on his face and said, “I wish I could kiss you right now.”
He leaned toward me and said, “I can kiss you.” He began at my shoulder and then moved up my neck. I moaned feeling his warm lips on my skin.
I raised my arms above my head as we had done for the video shoot.
“Relax, baby. I want to hear your breathing as I touch you,” Collin whispered in between kisses.
I felt like I was going to burst into flames. I still wanted every part of him even though I knew I shouldn’t. His hands moved lower, and I wanted to scream because it felt so good. I was afraid that at any moment, he would stop and realize how wrong this was.
Fortunately, he didn’t stop and two orgasms later from his touch, I wasn’t so frustrated anymore. He wouldn’t let me touch him back or return the favor. He pulled the covers over us, and we both quickly fell asleep.
Chapter 21
Absolutely Not
When I woke up the next day, Collin was gone, and I hoped that the previous night hadn’t been a dream. I was happy for the first time in quite a while, and I knew it had everything to do with Collin.
I crossed my fingers that there was coffee when I walked into the kitchen and saw Rosa standing there making breakfast.
“He estado muy preocupada por ti (I have been so worried about you).” Rosa pulled me into her arms for a big hug.
“Estoy bien. Gracias por estar aqui (I am fine. Thank you for being here),” I said as we pulled away from each other. She nodded at me and then held her wooden spoon up toward me.
“No más peleas. Voy a golpear a usted! (No more fighting. I will spank you).
I laughed and said, “Voy a estar en mi mejor comportamiento. (I will be on my best behavior).
I loved her for always taking care of me, no matter how many times she raised her wooden spoon at me and threatened to spank me. Mike and I were very familiar with her wooden spoons. They hurt like a son
-of-a-bitch, but they got our attention.
She pointed to the table and asked, “¿Quiénes son? (Who are they?)
I glanced over at Collin and Daniel eating the breakfast Rosa had made and smiled. “Son Collin y Daniel, mis buenos amigos (Collin and Daniel, my best friends).”
She handed me coffee and pointed at the table, indicating that I should eat. I went and sat down by them and made my plate.
“I take it you speak Spanish,” Collin said, smiling at me as he pushed his plate away.
“Yes, Rosa taught me when I was six. By the way, that’s Rosa. She’s Mike’s mom and pretty much my mom, too. Be nice to her and she will take very good care of you. Oh, and Mike might kill you if you piss her off. She likes using that wooden spoon as a weapon,” I said as Daniel finally looked up from his plate, as well.
Collin was looking at me with his sly smile and Daniel laughed and said, “Loverboy there gets all hot and bothered hearing you speak Spanish. I bet he is pitching a tent right now.”
I burst out laughing when Collin jumped up and yanked Daniel out of his chair and tackled him to the ground. They were both laughing and calling each other names. Daniel was quick, but Collin always seemed one step ahead of him.
After breakfast, I sat in my office looking through emails as the two guys sat across from me on the couch. Daniel kept looking at me with complete confusion on his face while Collin had a faint grin. I tried to avoid eye contact with both of them so as not to give away what Collin and I had done last night.
As I looked through my unread email, I found something I didn’t like. It was from my dad’s attorney. Well, this could be interesting, I thought as I dialed the all-too-familiar number. I put the phone on speaker and told the receptionist who I was, she put me right through. Ralph, our attorney, was not a likable guy. Over the years, he and I had had many disagreements. He was old and wanted to retire, so he always took the easy way out of every case. Dad had noticed this and mentioned trying to find a new attorney, and I wish he would already.
“Hi, Danni, happy to see you can keep things stirred up.”
