But then Gran told me that GB had got angry after Mum had refused and had got a lawyer – a lawyer! I did think that was a bit extra. And the lawyer’s letter had said GB and Dad wanted joint custody of me, which apparently would have meant me spending term time, i.e. at Greyfriars, with them and the rest of the time here at Gran’s. OMG.
I could not believe what Gran was telling me. ‘Your poor mum was so worried, and so was I, that they might win, and we couldn’t afford a lawyer, so it was all a bit nerve-wracking for a bit. And then Frank stepped in and sorted it all out. He’s been a big help.’
Hmm, might have known Dumbledore Chops had got involved. He’s always around these days. Obvs I was glad he’d helped them but, honestly, he’s always sticking his nose into our stuff! It’s not like he’s part of our family or anything. He’s just an old pal of Gran’s. Okay, I realise that he is a bit more than that now to Mum, but, yuck, I do not want to think about that! Mankenstein.
The fact that she’s calling him – bleurgh, pukarama – her actual boyfriend – pass the sick bucket – is bad enough. Urgh. Don’t want to think about it. But apparently, Gran explained, Frank had found out what GB could and couldn’t do and, basics, had helped them write her a letter telling her she had ‘no claim to custodial rights’, whatever that means. It had been Gran’s idea to offer one of the pups to get GB to drop the idea completely and to stop her writing back again demanding this, that and the other.
Gran telling me that nearly made me cry again. It did seem a bit weird, though, that GB would go to all that effort and then just give up for a puppy. Gran explained that she wasn’t really giving up for that reason, but because she couldn’t do it all legally she’d decided if she offered GB the pup it would give her a way of feeling like she had actually won … at least a bit. Gran reckoned the whole thing was really about GB wanting to get one over Mum – pathetic, eh? GB is ancient, and Dad is a grown-up (well, sort of!) and she’s still trying to make sure he wins everything. Oh man, if Mum is like that with Luke when he’s grown up I’ll go berserk! Apparently it was ridiculous to start with because only Dad could ‘legally apply for joint custody’ Gran said, not his mum, and we all know Dad can barely get it together to apply for a library card, never mind one of his kids!
When I told my gang they literally could not believe it. Everyone decided GB is a complete witch. And I agree. I hate her for doing this in the first place and I hate her even more for taking one of the pups. And do you know what’s random? I hate her a bit too for agreeing to take a dog instead of me. I know I never wanted to go, but you’d think if she really loved me she’d keep fighting for me. I know I shouldn’t be saying that because I do not want to live with her but, you know, this proves that she doesn’t love me or Luke anything like as much as Gran does.
One good thing is at least when (maybe that should be ‘if’ now!) we go down to visit Dad we’ll have a dog to play with, which will be way better than being made to go out for long walks with GB or having to sit around listening to her go on about how nothing is ever Dad’s fault and how marvellous he is. Incredible but true – that is still what GB thinks about him! And I suppose, this way, Dad’s got a new dog, so maybe he won’t mind about Mum having a … oh man, I can hardly bear to say it … okay, here goes … gulp, boyfriend. There, I’ve said it. Yuckarama, though.
I’m just about to go to sleep. Got Muzzy tucked up with me – sort of felt like I really wanted her with me tonight. Which is SO not a big deal. I can’t believe the whole GB-trying-to-get-me thing went so far and got so serious and all the while I didn’t know anything about it. It’s really not like Mum not to have gone on and on and on about it, moaning about it all day long. Usually she makes such a huge big deal out of the smallest thing. I guess that means she must actually have been really worried, so I suppose it’s good then that Dumbledore Chops helped her. I don’t like to think of Mum being worried and upset, especially not by Dad’s mum – honestly, as per usual, GB was doing Dad’s dirty work for him! Huh, Mum might as well have never bothered to marry Dad; she should have just married GB!
Honestly, the whole thing about asking for just me and not Luke was so extra of GB. Hmm, can’t work out if that means I can torture Luke with that info or not, because it’s not like either of us love her like we love Gran. Still, thinking about it, I’m sure I can use it to wind Luke up in some way … It’s got to be good ammunition … Yeah, and perhaps I can use ‘one’ too … BRILLIANT idea!
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About the Author
Arabella Weir is an actress, comedian and writer best known for The Fast Show. She makes regular appearances on TV and radio and is a frequent contributor to national newspapers. She has written several books for adults including the international bestseller, Does My Bum Look Big in This?, and the Tabitha trilogy for younger readers. She lives in North London with her two teenagers and maybe a dog … soon.
The TABITHA trilogy
The Rise and Rise of Tabitha Baird
The Endless Trials of Tabitha Baird
Testing Times for Tabitha Baird
Copyright
First published in Great Britain in 2015
by Piccadilly Press
Northburgh House, 10 Northburgh Street,
London EC1V 0AT
www.piccadillypress.co.uk
Text copyright © Arabella Weir, 2015
Illustrations © Mina Bach, 2015
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: 978–1–848–12436–3
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Typeset by Palimpsest Book Production Limited,
Falkirk, Stirlingshire
Printed and bound by Clays Ltd, St Ives Plc
Piccadilly Press is part of the Bonnier Publishing Group
www.bonnierpublishing.com
The Endless Trials of Tabitha Baird Page 11
