by Kat Obie
The next few days were going to be a grind. But it would be worth it in the end, especially if they got a clean sweep.
The only thing Scotty needed was to finalize the day he would propose to Alice. He wanted to do that before the trip to Pittsburgh. He needed to look at her planner.
When they came into the house, both Chloe and Backup were anxious to go outside. Scotty knew that he had his opening thanks to their two favorite pets. He kissed Alice’s ear and asked, “Can you take the pups without me? I’ll start dinner.”
“Sure.”
Alice grabbed the leashes and went outside with the two dogs. She didn’t seem to suspect anything, but he waited for a minute before he went into her work bag.
He found her planner and looked at the month of June. She seemed to be mostly free except a couple weekends. That didn’t seem too bad and he could work with that. He put the planner back into her bag.
As he heard the garage door go down, he went to work making a quick stir fry. Alice opened the door, and the dogs went straight towards Scotty’s legs. He rubbed Chloe’s ears as he fed the pups.
Alice wrapped her arms around his torso. That was something he normally did. He smiled as he turned towards Alice. He thumbed her lips. “What do you think you are doing?”
“Enjoying my time with you.”
“Uh huh.” He enjoyed her doing his move on him. “Dinner is almost ready.”
Alice leaned up and kissed him. “Okay. It smells good.”
They sat down and ate dinner. Alice did the dishes afterwards. When she was done, he hugged her from behind. He said, “We should go to bed soon.”
“Fine.” Like so many times she used the word ‘fine,’ her tone of voice didn’t match the statement. She wanted to stay up a little bit.
He leaned down and kissed her. She always seemed to fight him on sleep, whether it was going to bed or waking up. He needed sleep before flying out to Pittsburgh. “Come on. You know you don't need to stay awake all night.”
25
Scott
Scott was still on the team bus after landing in Cleveland. He was waiting to hear how Alice made out in court. He was tempted to meet her at the courthouse, but he would get a hefty fine or suspended if he tried to skip practice. So he had to wait for her call.
He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He figured it was Alice texting back since that seemed to be her preferred method. He was surprised to see she was calling. He picked it up. “How did it go babe?”
He only heard some sighing breaths. Alice tried not to cry, and his heart dropped. Today was supposed to be a formality and easy.
It clearly wasn’t the walk in the park that she’d thought it would be. She said in a low broken voice, “. . . prison.” She gasped, and Scotty had a feeling she was crying now. “Just restitution.”
“What?”
“Gasp . . . prison. Just restitution.” This time the word restitution broke up as well. He was no closer to understanding why she was so upset. If they got prison, why cry?
“What?”
“No prison. Nothing at . . . gasp . . . at all.”
Scotty punched the seat in front of him, forgetting that someone was sitting there. Corey stood up to find out why his seat had been punched. Scotty put up a finger to say one moment and gave an intimidating stare. He didn’t have time to explain himself until he got off the phone with Alice.
“I’m sorry, baby. That’s not right.” He was trying to be supportive. He also wanted to punch something more than a seat. He hated how Alice was crying, especially since she didn’t do it often. “All I can say is that at least it’s over.”
“For today.” Her voice sounded defeated. He hated that and felt so useless being on the bus. She spoke through her tears. “I still have tomorrow, and that’s just to decide if the kid is getting moved to adult court. Then there’s that third kid who is way behind the other two.” Alice’s tears flowed harder.
“Hey, hey. It’s going to be okay.” He couldn’t bear to hear her tears. He was about to say consequences be damned and just go to her. “I’m upset too. Do you want me to come and get you?”
“No. I need to get back to work. I’ll get coffee before I get back. I didn’t plan for this, and I don't have enough vacation time left. Especially if you guys decide to make it interesting in the next round.”
“Alright, if you say so, but call if you need anything. Je t’aime.”
She surprised him and only said, “Moi aussi.” She always echoed the words, never just said, “me too.” Scotty hated hearing her cry, but he couldn’t blame her. He wanted to hold her and comfort her. Do something to change the day around.
Corey and Lager turned to Scotty. Lager was the first to ask, “What the hell?”
“One of the people who broke into Alice’s place was sentenced today. They didn’t get any jail time, and Alice is upset.”
“Ah, shit, man,” said Corey. “No wonder you needed to punch something.”
“Wait, I thought you were going to court with her tomorrow,” said Lager.
“Different defendant. She had to go in today too. She was convinced it would be easy: the person was getting sentenced after a guilty plea. Tomorrow is a hearing. She’s afraid she might have recognized the kid and there is a chance it won’t go well. I just wish I knew what to do.”
“I can’t help you. Normally, I do flowers when I mess up with Bridge. Flowers can’t fix this. Plus, you didn’t mess up here, the courts did. Are you sure she said no jail?” asked Lager.
“Definitely. Took a few times to hear it since she was barely audible.”
The bus turned towards the practice facility’s parking lot. As they were heading off the bus, Corey said, “You can bring her over to the rink if you like after the game. Jenna is going to be in town, so it could be the four of us.”
“That might work. I didn’t realize that Jenna was coming to town.”
“Yeah. She decided to come in after a lot of debate.”
“Good for you. But are you sure that we wouldn’t be intruding on your private time?”
“It’s fine. Besides, I’m pretty sure she has beer for Alice yet again.”
That got Scotty laughing. “She almost always does. Jenna is practically her supplier. On the plus side, Philly beer does make Alice happy. I just hope for Alice’s sake she’s bringing some EG or Form.”
“I have no idea what Jenna is bringing. I can’t keep up with what Jenna is drinking or picking up.”
“I know the feeling. At least you drink craft beer more than me. Even after six months, I sometimes swear that Alice is speaking in a different language when she talks about her beers. But I will run it by Alice to see if she wants to use the rink.”
Scotty needed to hit some things, and practice was called for. He probably went a bit harder in practice then he should have. It kept his mind busy.
26
Alice
Alice led the way to the fourth floor of the juvenile court building. Unlike the adult court, the hallways were wide and bright. It was a newer building. It felt less oppressive and scary. It wasn’t hard to find the office.
She checked in with the receptionist. Then the two of them sat down in the small waiting room. Scotty held her hand, and she felt stronger with his strength beside her. Just having someone beside her, let alone someone who loved her, made things seem easier. His thumb rubbed her hand. The two of them were quiet.
After ten minutes, the prosecutor came out and introduced himself. The three of them went to the elevators. Alice was distracted, but she pretended that things were normal. The prosecutor was asking about her job and education. Alice wasn’t sure if he was making small talk or if it was to serve an overall purpose.
As they walked, he said that he was going to ask questions like that or from the preparation call. That sounded fine from Alice’s standpoint. She hoped that she didn’t break down on the stand.
“Alright. So go ahead and have a seat over here. The courtroo
m is down the hall. I’ll grab you when it’s time.”
Alice nodded. She and Scotty sat down on one of the benches lining the hallway. It seemed like many people were waiting, but it didn’t feel like a waiting room.
“Doesn’t seem so bad,” said Scotty.
Scotty had been so quiet, but hearing his voice steadied her. Having him there made everything seem easier, even if he wasn’t talking.
“Hopefully it stays that way. I just wish I knew how long we had to wait. I could go for a coffee.”
Scotty grinned. “Already?”
“Yeah. I want to steel my nerves.”
“So, not looking for another caffeine fix?” Scotty loved teasing her about her caffeine addiction.
“Not quite yet.”
They were silent for a little bit. Normally, they would have both pulled out some devices to occupy themselves, but neither of them did. Alice just leaned into his strong frame. He asked, “They like to make you wait, don’t they?”
“You don’t know the half of it. I waited over an hour yesterday, and that was after being told it would be quick.” She had the distinct impression that they were going to be waiting for a while.
“Ugh. No fun.” Scotty hated to wait. He was lucky that he seldom had to. Not that Alice could blame him. She hated it as much as he did.
“None at all.” Alice held her tongue. She wanted to say how much it really meant that he was beside her. She felt dumb for even wanting his support that way since it made her feel weak. She hated showing any more weakness than necessary, not that he even cared.
Scott
They walked into the courtroom together. Scott was directed to sit in the area behind the prosecution, but she was told to go to the stand. She handed her bag to Scotty, then continued towards the box beside the judge.
Alice looked small in the box, even though she sat erect. She zoned in on Scotty, although to most people it would look like she was looking at the prosecutor.
He was glad that she was in a better mood than yesterday. He could see that her eyes hid a lot of emotion. He wanted to get them to turn green and gold soon.
Alice swore to tell the truth and then spelled her name for the court. He really wanted Alice to have his last name.
“What is your occupation?” asked the prosecutor.
“I’m an aquatics manager for Cleveland Technical University. I make sure the pool is properly staffed with lifeguards, and run our swim lesson program and masters swim program.”
“Do you often travel for work?” Scotty knew the prosecutor was trying to get Alice to explain how uncomfortable she was with traveling and rooming with anyone but him. Hell, he knew how bad her panic attacks were on the first two trips after the burglary.
“I do not. At least not for that job. But I do for my other job. I work with a convention company.”
“What is your role at a convention?” asked the prosecutor.
“It depends on the convention itself. I’m usually part of the tech team. I used to run the camera for the stage projection, but I’ve been recently moved up to the show manager position. I keep the panels on time, run the various contests throughout the day, and am the karaoke DJ. Last weekend, I ended up doing the sound.” Alice’s voice gained a bit of lightness to it.
“So, it’s safe to say you travel for that job,” stated the prosecutor as if he was asking a question.
“I do. Since the burglary, I haven’t been able to room with people working the convention. So that’s been an unexpected expense since I now foot the full hotel bill myself.”
“So, you used to room with people?”
“Yes. For the last six years, I would share rooms with friends. But since the burglary, the slightest sound that I can’t place at night can trigger a panic attack. The only person I feel fully comfortable with at night has been my boyfriend since I know his habits, and he does everything he can do to make me comfortable.”
Scotty hated how he could hear the shame and fear creep into her voice when she talked about how she got panic attacks and the discomfort she felt. He just wished she could see some of the strength she projected.
“Have you had any other panic attacks?”
Alice took a deep breath and rubbed a couple spots along her hairline close to her widow’s peak and temple. That was something Alice often did when she was particularly stressed and didn’t have anything to occupy her hands. “Yes. I actually had one the other night after my hockey clinic.”
That was news to Scotty. He knew the other night when they’d skyped, Alice seemed quiet, but she said she was tired. Now he wished he had pressed harder, but he was so tired after the game and let it go. Alice continued saying, “The panic attacks are getting better for the most part, but they do happen. I entered counseling to help deal with the trauma and the lack of sleep, and I’ve never done that before.”
Scotty nodded his head subconsciously. She’d stopped going to the counsellor since she didn't think it was helping.
“How often were you going for counselling? Two days a week?”
“I went once a week or so for about seven sessions.” Scotty could tell that she was holding back something. She didn’t like talking about her feelings but would rather write them out.
“Are you still living in the apartment?”
“No. I moved out shortly after the burglary. I tried to stay, but it was too much, even after installing additional locks and keeping the bedroom door barricaded.”
Alice was back to rubbing her hair again. She hated telling people that she wasn’t strong enough to remain at her old place.
The prosecutor stopped his questions. The frumpy balding defense attorney stood up. Despite that one sign of nerves, Alice seemed calm.
The defense attorney asked, “Have you ever sought counselling before the alleged burglary?”
Scotty hated hearing it called “alleged” and saw something in Alice’s eyes that said she didn’t like it. While he understood the attorney would try to distance the kid from the crime, it was a bit of an insult to call the event itself an alleged act. Alice said plainly, “No, I have not.”
The defense attorney ended his questioning. Then the judge asked Alice about the night of the burglary. She gave the details. Scott noticed the judge’s eyebrows go up when Alice said it was her birthday. He hated hearing the details as much as Alice hated talking about them. Hearing about that night always made him feel like he’d failed her, even if it had brought Alice to his home afterwards.
Then Alice had to discuss her living situation. She talked about how she’d moved in with him. She didn’t bring any attention to his career. She emphasized how it was more about safety and being around someone who made her feel safe and loved. He didn’t realize how much safety he provided her.
Then she was done. She got down from the box and walked towards the table. She looked towards the prosecutor to find out what she had to do next.
Alice came to Scotty and said they could go. Scotty grabbed her bag as he stood up. As soon as they were outside the courtroom doors, she grabbed his hand. He said quietly, “You did great.”
He was still concerned over why she hadn’t told him about the panic attack. Their relationship was so open. Once they were in the elevator, he hugged Alice but asked in a soft voice, “Why didn’t you mention your last panic attack?”
Alice melted into his body before saying in a quiet voice, “I wanted to forget that it happened as quickly as I could.”
Scotty had to ask, “Was it your mom getting into your head again?”
“Nope. Just my own fucked up head.”
Scotty hated when she put herself down. It wasn’t as malicious as it used to be. He wanted to ask for details.
As soon as he shut the SUV door, he said, “You really need to stop being so hard on yourself. What happened?”
“It was pretty dumb. I was in the shower, and I heard a weird noise. I got spooked ‘cause I couldn’t identify what it was and then got scared to death that
someone would walk in on me while I was naked. Once I found the courage to get dressed and investigate, I realized that one of the pups, most likely Backup, had knocked over our hockey sticks. I felt so stupid for getting spooked. I wanted to forget it. I just wanted everything to be normal again.”
“Aw, baby. It’ll take time, but you are doing pretty good, all things considered. Besides, it seems like you had a trigger.” He kept rubbing circles over her hand with his thumb. He wished she had shared that information when it happened, but he understood why she hadn’t.
27
Alice
Alice packed clothing for Scotty’s road trip. At least it was only one game in Carolina. Regardless of the outcome, it would be the last trip to Carolina for this year. She just hoped that Carolina didn’t force a game seven.
As she finished putting the last pair of socks into the suitcase, she felt a tight hug from behind and smiled. Scotty said, “If I didn’t know better, I would think you wanted me to leave.”
Alice turned and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Never. But I needed to keep my hands busy and I thought this was better than me reading.”
“Things still stirred up?”
Alice nodded her head. Scotty’s hug tightened around her as if he was trying to protect her from everything. She hated how vulnerable she’d felt since the two court dates.
She tried to be super quiet as she packed the suitcase with little more than a cell phone flashlight. Now she regretted not going into the office or even downstairs to read a book. “Sorry I woke you.”
“You didn’t.” It was unconvincing at best. It was a white lie, but she wasn’t going to call him out on it. He pulled her towards the bed. “Alright, I woke up the moment that I realized you weren't there. Come on back to bed. You barely slept.”
“Alright,” Alice said.
“What was it this time?” He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Just me being a freak,” Alice said lightly, but Scotty frowned. He hated when she was hard on herself, but that was how she would describe it. “It’s nothing. No panic attacks or nightmares.”
