by Andi J Feron
I was called into Admiral Calinger’s office to receive my next assignment. I didn’t feel much like taking another assignment, but at this point, what did it matter? I wasn’t sure if anything mattered anymore.
Calinger looked through some paperwork on his desk. “I want you to know we think highly of what you and your partner accomplished on your last mission. You were the only ones who came out alive from that place. We were impressed. You are highly valuable to this war. Have you given much thought on possibly using your skill on the battlefront?”
“Not really sir. I’m wondering about my partner, Talon Cooper. He was hurt when I last saw him yesterday.”
“Oh. Yes, I’m sorry, I believe he passed. I received a message saying that was why they were sending only you or something. I don’t know anything beyond that.”
I held back tears. I was not going to cry in front of an admiral.
“Here it is.” He handed me a piece of paper to take to the quarters assignment office. “We will get you a new partner.”
Yes, because that’s what you do. Everyone is replaceable. They die, you recruit more. It doesn’t matter who will miss them. You don’t even halt your actions for a second to grieve a single life. I thought this all bitterly, wishing I had the gall to say it aloud.
“I don’t need a new partner, sir. Battlefront is fine,” I said, not caring if it killed me.
“Very well. We will put your skills to use. I’ll make some arrangements.”
I woefully made my way to the quarters office, but before I entered, I heard a familiar voice.
“Seraphine!” Lucius called to me.
I thought about darting into the office anyway, but I stopped to look at him. “Hello Lucius.”
“How have you been? I’ve missed you.” He smiled.
“That’s one less thing we have in common, Lucius.”
I knew I didn’t have to be so cruel to him, but I didn’t care. I was too angry Talon died, and that he did because he was Lucius’ opposite. Lucius used people for his own gain, and Talon took care of people despite it costing him everything.
“Come on Seraphine. I was hoping you forgave me by now. I’m sorry I took the little girl. I thought it would help the war.”
“No, you thought it would help you rise to power.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have done it if I had known it would mean I’d lose you, especially to Talon,” he practically spat the name out of his mouth.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. Talon is dead. But you’ve still lost me, and the only one to blame is you.”
I saw satisfaction in his gaze as the news of Talon’s death hit his ears. It was a split second, but it was enough to make my stomach churn. I turned to go to the quarter assignment office. Lucius grabbed my hand, and I jerked it away.
“Seraphine, it used to be you and me, only us, and I took care of you.”
Without turning around, I said, “That boy is as dead as Talon.”
I left him standing there, knowing whatever heart Lucius had left had probably dimmed even further. I chose not to worry about the eclipse of darkness now spreading across whatever good he had left. It was no longer that I couldn’t be with him, it was that I didn’t want to be.
A few days later, I was sent into my first battle, and I found it terrifying and traumatic. Watching people die was nothing you could prepare for beforehand. The battle was too personal, and all I could think of was, like Talon, those who were lost would be missed by people who wanted them to make it home.
I was finding it difficult to kill Khalbytians after meeting Dramto. He hadn’t been the evil monster they swore to us all Khalbytians were. I began to realize, like humans, Khalbytians and Loctorians couldn’t be grouped into one attribute. Good and evil weren’t single traits to engulf every aspect of an entire species.
A month flew by, and I felt nothing. I felt like crying in the Admiral’s office, but after leaving couldn’t shed a single tear. I would come home from battle, shower, and crawl into bed, trying to fend off the demons threatening to take up residency in my head.
I knew the next time I was given leave I would ask to go to Earth to check on Allie. I would make sure she wasn’t passed through the foster care system like I was. I was called to Admiral Bishop’s office, who was filling in for Calinger while he was away at battle. The rumor was that Saturn base was a difficult assignment to complete, and it scared most admirals away after a short time.
Admiral Bishop fed the red beta fish on his desk. “It seems you have a new assignment. You will help escort Admiral Jacobson’s son to the pulsar system. His family is relocating there. We’ve set you up with a team that will make sure the mission goes smoothly.”
“Sir, yes sir.” I tried to mask my disappointment with a neutral tone.
I didn’t want a new team. Having to get to know anyone right now was not a priority I wanted. I went to my quarters to shower and change. I packed everything I thought I would need for the two weeks I’d be gone.
I arrived at the docking bay and found the ship I was supposed to board. I loaded my bag in the side compartment. I turned to board the ship, and at the end of the docking bay, a boy caught my attention. I closed my eyes and opened them again. Great, I was seeing ghosts—that boy looked exactly like Talon. I had finally lost it and it was causing me to hallucinate.
He darted toward me. “Seraphine? I wondered where they sent you. No one would tell me.”
I could feel the color drain from my face. “You’re dead.”
“Are you still mad I kept trying to protect you? I’m sorry, Seraphine. I want to thank you for saving my life. If it hadn’t been for your quick thinking, I would have died in the cave.”
“No, I mean they told me you were dead.”
“Very much alive. I have a few cool new scars, but nothing too bad.”
I threw my arms around him in a moment of impulse. Part of me wanted to feel him and know he existed, the other part of me really wanted to hug him. Talon hugged me back. To my dismay, the faucet let loose. The dried up deserts that were my tear ducts sprouted new life as all the anger, fear, and sadness of the last month came pouring out.
“Seraphine, you alright?”
My cheeks burned as I gave Talon a shove away from me. Jerap walked up, and Talon’s mouth hung wide open. I boarded the ship, too proud to look at Talon any further.
I sniffled, “Nice to see you, Jerap.”
The ship we were on was good at defense but not the best at folding, so it would take us two weeks to get there and back. The shuttle was mainly one large room with seven chairs and computer consoles. We each had a sleeping cove that only contained a small bed with a curtain that gave us privacy. The bathroom held a toilet and sink to wash up in, and I longed for a real shower. There was a table area with two small cupboards, a sink, and a fridge.
Jerap introduced me to Fayard and our charge Kais. We were not permitted to use folding, but we could go through hyperspace for most of the journey. We were ordered to make a stop at some amusement park on a moon a few light years away.
The trip was uneventful, and we eventually landed at the moon park. This moon consisted of a sustainable atmosphere, so no environmental suits were needed. There was a slide with gaps between plastic slabs, and it extended high in the sky. The design didn’t seem super appealing to try out.
“You can’t go off by yourself Kais.” Talon was struggling to argue with a twelve-year-old. I would have thought he would have that art down better since Allie was the same age. At the same time, I was pretty sure Talon would let Allie get away with murder.
“You’re just mad because I kissed your sister,” Kais grumbled.
I squinted my eyes and wondered how that event transpired.
Talon shook his head. “No, I’m annoyed that you can’t do what you’re told. It’s my job to keep you safe, so either stay with us, or we go on to your new planet and call it a trip.”
“You’re a trip alright,” Kais mumbl
ed as he walked away to the anti-gravity bumper cars.
Fayard and Jerap decided to stay on the ship to get some work done, which left Talon and me on babysitting duty. Kais kept proclaiming how much of blast he was having, hitting all the other cars as hard as he could. Talon zoomed his car at me, and I dodged him.
I shot him a mischievous grin. “Don’t even think about it Ace.”
My car was slammed by Kais, and he chuckled. I whooshed my car around and smacked Talon’s car. Talon made one more attempt to hit me, and I floored the gas and zoomed under his car. We slowly floated back to the ground, indicating that the ride was over. I let Talon take Kais on the slide alone. After riding each ride at least twice, Talon let Kais know it was time to go.
“One more ride. We haven’t ridden the Black Hole yet.” Kais took off toward the middle of the park.
“This kid is going to make me bald by twenty.” Talon chased after Kais.
I ran after them, amused by the thought of a bald Talon. Kais was right, we had missed the Black Hole, a roller coaster that ran in the dark. I was not fond of the concept.
I sat down on a park bench. “I think I’ll sit this one out. You take him,”
“Scared?” Talon smiled.
I rolled my eyes. “No, jerk, of course not.” Talon looked skeptical, and I didn’t want him to think I was afraid to ride a rollercoaster. I stood up. “I’m tired, but I’ll go.”
Talon smiled again, and we both followed Kais. The roller coaster cars made room for two people in each row. Kais rode in the front while Talon and I rode together behind him. I knew Talon was at an advantage since he knew exactly where we were going. We sat in complete darkness as the car crawled up a steep hill. We stopped at the top, and the car let go.
We zoomed in every direction, and I would have thought folding would have prepared me for the sensations that ensued. I gripped Talon’s arm and instantly regretted it. I was glad when the ride was over. Talon sent another grin my way. I was so aggravated I could punch him. A loud explosion boomed to the south of us—the direction our ship was located.
Talon unholstered his gun. “Get Kais somewhere safe Seraphine.”
“Why can’t you keep him safe and I check out the loud eruption?” I ignored Talon and ran toward the explosion.
“Why do you have to argue?” He pulled Kais with him.
“Because I’m perfectly capable of figuring out what the sound is.”
“I know you are, but one of us has to keep Kais safe.”
“You do it then.”
“You’re infuriating Seraphine!”
“I was thinking the same about you Talon.”
People were running from the explosion. There were many species of aliens I had never seen before. Almost all were screaming.
“What’s going on?” I asked a woman with copper skin.
She kept running. “Khalbytians!”
Of all the times we could come to the amusement park, it happened to be the day Khalbytians would attack.
“Cool!” Kais caught up to me.
“You were supposed to stay with Talon.” I kept running.
“I don’t often do what I’m told.”
“Kais! You’re going to get yourself killed, and that will make for an unpleasant debriefing with your father,” Talon lectured while catching up to us.
“I’m not staying out of the way,” Kais insisted.
“It’s probably best we get him to the ship.”
“Fine!” Talon threw Kais over his shoulder and ran past me.
“Hey!” Kais kicked Talon repeatedly, but Talon held him tight.
We made it to the park entrance and saw three Khalbytians standing in our way. I concentrated and projected several large beasts in front of the Khalbytians. They began to fire at each other, collapsing on the ground. This was a new trick I learned in battle. Instead of merely projecting images to tell a story or scare people, I could convince the enemy their comrades were monsters that needed to be immediately destroyed. The Khalbytians took care of themselves for me.
Talon raised his eyebrows. “That was you, wasn’t it?”
I nodded. “Told you I could cover myself.”
“When did you learn to do that?”
“While you were dead.”
We made it to the docking station and looked for our ship, but it was gone. Panic set in as I wondered if it had exploded. We caught the attention of some Khalbytians, and they bolted for us. Talon placed Kais down and fired at a Khalbytian, dissolving the Khalbytian to mush.
“Awesome!” Kais cheered.
The other Khalbytians pulled out their weapons.
“Let’s go!” Talon dodged the laser fire. I could tell by his precise movements he was in tracker mode, and we ran to the left of where our ship should have been.
Fayard was suspended in air, and he let down a ladder. “Hop in!”
Talon lifted Kais to the ladder and reached to help me. I glared slightly, and Talon scowled. I lifted myself up and felt a piercing burn on my right calf. The pain was intense, but I pushed myself for the final stretch. Talon was behind me and fired at the Khalbytians, dissolving two of them before pulling himself all the way up.
“I didn’t know we had cloaking like that, where only part of the ship could be seen,” Talon said, not taking his eyes off of me.
Fayard closed the ship hatch. “That was my specialty.”
“He’s a tier-seven chameleon, and he’s the smoothest thing to ever fight this war.” Kais gave Fayard a fist bump.
Jerap’s skill was up next. He fired at the Khalbytians’ ship, and it exploded. He fired at the Khalbytians below, carefully hitting each mark perfectly as not to hit anyone else. He zipped us out of there.
“They must have found our signal. A Loctorian ship at the amusement park made it a target for any passing Khalbytians,” Jerap informed us. This was more than a coincidence.
Kais couldn’t sit still. “That was the coolest thing that ever happened to me! I was starting to think you were lame, Talon, and the rumors were wrong, but you really are a badass!”
Talon stared at me. “Let me see it.
“What?”
“Your leg.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” He went and grabbed a med kit from the cabinet and brought it over.
“It grazed me. I’m fine!”
“Seraphine, let me look at your freakin’ leg!”
“No! Quit trying to take care of me!”
“Maybe you should let someone take care of you for a change, it might get rid of the constant wall you block everyone with.”
Talon handed the kit to Jerap and left to sit in his chair at the front of the ship. I sat sulking. My leg hurt, and I should have let him look at it. Talon Cooper frustrated me constantly, and that made me confused because he was nothing but nice to me.
Jerap scanned my leg. “Talon was right. Your leg is severely burned. I will put the regenerator on it. It will take a couple hours. ”
Regenerators were a new experimental tool that helped renew damaged skin. They were best for burns like mine. The Loctorians were hoping to mass-produce them soon and make them standard. Admiral Jacobson ordered one on our vessel as a precaution for his son.
I watched as Jerap readied the regenerator. Most of my calf was charred black, with an angry red circle on the outer portions. Pus oozed from the edges and I yelped as Jerap applied the device.
The machine was circular and the flexibility of its plastic adhered over the curve of my calf. Green lights blinked sporadically, indicating it was functioning properly. Within five minutes the pain became bearable. I would be stuck in my chair for the next couple hours until my leg was fully healed. Talon didn’t say anything to me the rest of the ride, and I tried to push away the guilt.
I was too proud to make amends. Talon was right—I built a giant wall, and I didn’t want him anywhere near the other side. I was trying to keep him from seeing the things about me that I deemed as
ugly. I was afraid of being vulnerable with anyone, but especially Talon. I had let Lucius in, and that was a disaster.
There was little to do in the shuttle, and all of this made my mind ponder my relationship with Lucius. After capsulization, Lucius began to change. It started with small comments here and there that began to make me feel bad about every aspect of myself. I needed to be in better shape if I was going to rise to the next rank. I wasn’t good enough at projecting to ever get anywhere. I needed to pull my own weight or I’d be replaceable. If I didn’t shape up, he would have me sent back to the group home. He was a manipulator, which meant he possessed that kind of power.
It continued to escalate. One day we got into an argument, and he smacked me across the face. I said nothing. This was how men treated women, it was what I saw all my life. Women were whatever men wanted them to be. I was taught this first with my father when he would hit my mother. Then I learned it for myself with a couple of my foster dads, as well as a boy in one of the group homes. I was theirs to do with what they wanted.
Each time Lucius hit me, I apologized—it was my fault he hit me, I shouldn’t have been so grumpy all the time. I gave Lucius my power, and before I knew it, he became controlling. He never allowed me to leave base without his permission. When he did let me go out, he required I check in every fifteen minutes with video chat so he could see where I was.
I told myself lies, that Lucius only wanted what was best for me. Then Talon came along, and he was different than any other boy I had ever met. He was kind, and no matter how much I pushed him away, he stayed kind. My contemplation returned to the present. We were in for a six-day journey, and things stayed tense between Talon and me.
The rest of the trip went well, despite Kais going stir crazy and thinking it would be fun if we stopped to asteroid surf. This was met with disapproval from Talon and vetoed. We dropped him off without further incident, and his mother thanked us for getting him there safely.
