by Aidan Wayne
Dana’s mouth opened and closed. “Wow,” she ended up saying. “Okay, I think maybe I need to leave you alone to work out—whatever this is.”
She turned and left. Ashlee heard the front door open and close.
Ashlee buried her head in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks and making it even harder to breathe. Stupid Dana. How did she not realize how important this was?
Ashlee’d had one chance. And now she had nothing.
Chapter Sixteen
DANA WASN’T all that upset when she left the apartment, and she didn’t walk around trying to clear her own head. Mostly it was to get some distance from Ashlee and give her some space.
It did suck that Ashlee had gotten sick. And that the audition had gone the way it did. But Dana didn’t get what the big deal was. Ashlee was good. Disney had auditions all the time. So Ashlee would have another chance soon, and then she’d do better, and that would be that. Or maybe she wouldn’t pass. That was possible too.
But Ashlee had other opportunities. It was silly to bank everything on being able to dance. Especially for something that would be short-term. It made way more sense to go back to college and get a degree. Have a backup plan, if nothing else.
Then again….
Dana had an idea of how important dancing was to Ashlee. How hard she worked at it, and some of the things she’d given up in order to keep doing it at the highest level she possibly could.
Dancing for Disney was also Ashlee’s dream. And even if there were more auditions, this one was the first real one. It had been what could have been a make-or-break moment for her, and she hadn’t even been able to show them what she could do. It might have been a touch short-sighted in Dana’s opinion, but that didn’t make it any less important to Ashlee. Of course it made sense that she was upset. And while Dana wasn’t thrilled that Ashlee had taken it out on her, she did understand a little bit. Ashlee was sick and feeling miserable, and had just “blown” something that, to her, was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Dana had been there at the wrong moment and had said the wrong things.
She sighed and turned around to head back to the apartment. As she walked, she tried to think of what she could do or say. Ashlee was sick. So Dana could make her food at least, something hot to drink because that had helped her when she thought she was dying. Definitely something with sweetener to soothe Ashlee’s throat, because it was probably raw from coughing. And she could move the lotion-touched tissues Ashlee had gotten her when Dana was sick to Ashlee’s desk, within easy reach.
She couldn’t make chicken soup from scratch or anything, because she didn’t have ingredients, but she did have an instant broth that she sometimes used to flavor things, and Dana had definitely cheated and eaten it over the last week. It obviously wasn’t as good as homemade, but it was flavorful and warm and something easy to eat that would also be easy on the throat. She didn’t think Ashlee would mind the not-homemade aspect.
So with at least some sort of plan in mind, Dana went back up the steps to the apartment and made a beeline for the kitchen. She boiled some water for the tea and the soup, picked peppermint tea because it helped clear the sinuses (which Ashlee would definitely need), added a lot of honey, and made up the broth. She didn’t have a tray, so she put the bowl, mug, spoon, and napkin on a cookie sheet to carry it to the bedroom.
Ashlee was a lump under her covers, some Disney musical movie playing in the background. Dana left it on and went to slide the tray onto Ashlee’s desk. Then she grabbed the tissues and put them there too.
Ashlee’s covers moved, and then Ashlee was sitting up, pushing her hair out of her face. It was sweat-damp and her face was flushed, and she looked miserable. Her eyes were red, and Dana wasn’t sure if it was from being sick or from crying. Maybe both.
“Hey,” Dana said quietly. “I made you tea. And soup. It helped me when I was sick, so it might be good on your throat and stuff. And I’m going to bet that you haven’t eaten yet today.”
“Thanks,” Ashlee mumbled. She made no move to take anything from the tray.
“Even if you don’t want to drink the tea, you might want to inhale the steam. Mint is good for clearing sinuses, and the steam might help too.”
“Okay.” Ashlee reached for the mug and held it under her nose, breathing in deep.
“I’m sorry I got you sick. I really am. I know that this audition was important to you. I’m sorry I acted like it wasn’t.” Dana had gotten better at apologies. Communication, she had learned, was a necessity for living with a roommate. So she had been making the effort.
“Thanks,” Ashlee said again, followed with “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“It’s okay.”
They sat in silence for a bit, the upbeat sounds of the movie playing on.
“Look,” Dana said after a minute, “I know I… that I’m more long-term oriented than you are. And I get that you have to live in the present more, since dancing is more… um, time sensitive. I’ll try not to bring it up again. We’re different people. We’re allowed to have different goals.”
Ashlee opened her mouth, only to be overtaken with a hacking cough that lasted way too long. Dana’s chest ached with sympathy; she remembered how awful she’d felt being sick. “I shouldn’t have said what I did,” Ashlee said when the cough had subsided. “It wasn’t fair. To blame you. You’re right, you didn’t have a choice in getting sick, and you didn’t mean to make me sick either. And… and I’m sorry about the rest of it too. About blaming you for not being serious about dating me.”
“Good,” Dana said. “Because it’s wrong. I really like you, Ashlee. I think we worked well as friends, and I hope we work well as more than that. I don’t know how the rest of the program will go. I don’t know if we’ll want to keep dating for the rest of it. If we don’t, I hope we stay friends. But I want it to work. I do. And I’m willing to make an effort to see if we can’t try to last. There are worse things in the world than being in a long-distance relationship.”
“Yeah,” Ashlee said. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Is it too early to be thinking about that?” Dana asked, suddenly worried. “About how to keep up with you after the program is over?”
Ashlee shook her head and immediately winced. “I don’t think so. I mean, I kind of like it. That you’re thinking about a future with me. It’s what I want, you know? I don’t want this to be some… some two-month romance. I wouldn’t want that. I don’t want to lose touch with you.”
“I’m glad. That we’re on the same page.”
Ashlee took a sip of tea and smiled. “It’s great. How much honey did you put into this?”
“A lot,” Dana admitted.
“Thank you. It’s good. And you’re right; it’s sort of soothing.”
“Why don’t you try to eat,” Dana suggested. “I’ll get you something for your headache.”
“How did you know I had a headache?”
“Please. You’re basically me two days ago.” Dana had only just started feeling better. Her cold wasn’t entirely gone, but she didn’t feel like death anymore. She’d still called in to work for tomorrow just for one more recovery day, but it was mostly to sleep more. Which reminded her: “You should also probably call in to work for tomorrow. It’s better to do it early, so they have as much time as possible to find a sub for you.”
“Good idea,” Ashlee said. She grabbed for a tissue and coughed into it, then blew her nose. It was pretty gross. Dana still thought she looked beautiful.
Yeah, she was in deep at this point.
“I’ll get you those meds,” Dana said.
“Okay.” Ashlee reached for her phone. “I’m going to call in.”
Dana nodded and went into the bathroom to get some acetaminophen. Ashlee was in the middle of her phone call, and Dana waited quietly until she hung up.
“I sounded awful enough to be convincing,” Ashlee rasped before taking another sip of tea. “I’m off tomorrow and Sunday, and they said I should
follow up Sunday evening to see how I’m doing, in case I need to call off for Monday too.”
“Good.” Dana smiled. “I’m off tomorrow also, so I can basically take care of you.”
“That’d be nice,” Ashlee said. “And now I think I’m going to try to sleep. It’s been a rough morning.”
“Sure. I’ll be in the living room with my laptop. I’ve got some schoolwork to do. If you need anything, just text me, okay? Don’t bother trying to yell or anything.”
“’Kay.”
Dana left Ashlee as she went back to being a cover-lump, and hoped she’d be feeling better soon.
SATURDAY ASHLEE felt even worse, if that was possible. She mostly spent it camped out on her bed and alternating between blowing her nose and coughing up her lungs.
Dana…. Dana was really nice all through it. She brought Ashlee tea and soup and toast, made sure the television was always playing Ashlee’s favorite movies or shows, kept her company, or left her alone to sleep.
“Hey,” Dana said Sunday afternoon. She was dressed in her Rockin’ Roller Coaster costume. “I’ve got to go to work today. I’m closing, so I’ll be home late. You’ll probably be asleep by the time I get back.”
“Okay,” Ashlee sniffed. She was going to spend the entire day sleeping anyway. Or trying to.
“Try to eat, okay? I know you’re not going to want to, but you really should. And the broth is super easy; just add hot water.”
“Yeah,” Ashlee said. “I will. Thanks. Have a good day.”
Dana nodded and left, and Ashlee flopped back down on her bed. When this was all over, she had to do something nice for Dana—Dana who had put up with Ashlee’s outburst and accusations, who was taking care of her, and had only just gotten over being sick herself.
It felt like Dana took care of her a lot. She was the one who taught Ashlee how to make food, and who made sure there was always some prepared for Ashlee to have after coming home from a long day. Ashlee did her fair share of cleaning, but Dana helped with things she knew Ashlee needed—like when she’d helped scrubbed the bathroom while Ashlee was freaking out over inspection. And yesterday she had gone the extra mile, making Ashlee tea and soup, on her own day off no less—one Dana had taken because she still wasn’t feeling 100 percent.
It was a lot. And Dana deserved something in return. An extra show of appreciation. What could she do?
Well, she certainly had time to think about it.
Ashlee ended up scrolling through appreciation gift ideas on Pinterest while she sat up in bed, but nothing popped out at her. A lot of things were cute but sort of cheesy cheap DIY gifts, like a jar filled with Hershey’s candy and a note that said “You deserve a lot of hugs and kisses.” Again, cute, but not really what she had in mind.
She didn’t necessarily want to give Dana a thing, even if it was cute or clever. She sort of wanted to do a gesture instead. Or a gift combined with a gesture? Something that would let Dana know just how much Ashlee appreciated her.
So what did Dana like?
Cooking for sure. Dana liked experimenting with food, trying new things, or making tried-and-true recipes. She got a lot of enjoyment out of making food in general. She also liked languages and other cultures and learning new things. Ashlee knew Dana’s favorite color (purple), favorite tea (jasmine), favorite book (Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett), and favorite thing to watch (an even split between the Great British Bake Off and documentaries about pretty much anything). She knew a lot about what Dana liked, actually.
And now she had the beginnings of an idea.
Though, she thought after another coughing and sniffling fit, it could maybe wait until she got better.
Or at least the execution could, she decided, reaching for her phone again and going to her Amazon account. No reason why she couldn’t start planning now. And it would help her pass the time and give her something to focus on aside from being miserable.
SHE WOKE up several hours later to a text message from Maya.
Hey, the message read. So I haven’t heard from you since your audition yesterday. Do you want to talk about it?
Nothing to talk about, Ashlee replied, trying not to feel bitter. I didn’t make it.
I’m so sorry. At least Maya knew how awful it felt to not pass an audition. Which round?
Ashlee sighed unhappily. No round. I’m sick, and it was obvious. They asked me to leave and try again at a different audition when I didn’t have the plague.
Oh my god, I am so, so sorry. Do you need anything? I’m off work in a couple hours. I can totally stop by your place. Or just keep you company.
Thanks. Dana’s been taking pretty good care of me. And I’d be lousy company right now tbh. And I don’t want you to get sick—I think I caught whatever I’ve got from Dana. Which means it’s contagious.
Okay. But oh, Ashlee, that really sucks. God.
Yeah. Thanks. At least commiserating made her feel a little better. Dana was great, she really was, but she didn’t understand this failure like Maya did. I’m trying to get over it. Need to get over this cold first.
They’ve GOT to have more auditions coming up that you’ll be able to do. Isn’t there one at the end of the DCP for people who want to extend their program?
I don’t know if those are definite, Ashlee sent back. And I don’t know if my parents would let me stay down longer on just a maybe. That’s what really hurt to type. The possibility that she’d have to go home without ever having really tried.
We’ll figure something out!! And I’ll keep my ears open too. Maybe I can like, drop your name or something. I mean, it’s only fair.
Thanks. Maybe.
Are you SURE you don’t want me to come by? We could have a movie marathon! I could bring dinner stuff.
It’s okay. Maybe when I’m feeling better. The last thing you want is to get this sick, believe me. And I’m not up much for hanging out anyway. I was sleeping when you texted me. Probably just going to go back to sleep.
Okay. Sleep well. And keep me updated okay? And we’re hanging out the minute you feel better.
Ashlee sent back a couple of heart emojis and flopped back down onto her bed, closing her eyes.
ASHLEE FINALLY started feeling better Monday afternoon. Her headaches had mostly abated, and she wasn’t coughing or sniffling as much. She still called in to work for Tuesday, though. Princesses couldn’t have scratchy throats or rough-from-coughing voices. And she was scheduled to have Wednesday off as well, which was good since it gave her even more time to make a full recovery. She’d definitely be missing her paycheck for the week, but in the long run she didn’t care that much. And she could always pick up shifts; princess-ing was in high demand right now, apparently.
And now that she was feeling better, she thought she might actually be able to present Dana’s appreciation gift. Her packages were all supposed to arrive soon, and Dana was working Wednesday, even though she didn’t usually, which gave Ashlee some time to set everything up. She’d need the time too, since she’d been too sick to think of getting anything done at all, much less grocery shopping. So it was another good thing that she had some time on her hands; errands would probably take a lot out of her, since she wasn’t feeling 100 percent yet.
Either way, she was going to go grocery shopping. Probably Wednesday, because she wanted to feel as good as possible before venturing out of the apartment.
She’d also be taking the bus.
DANA DIDN’T think anything of it when Ashlee got a phone call Tuesday afternoon from housing services to let her know that she had a couple packages at the front for pickup, except to offer to pick them up for her. She had to admit to being a little curious when she got back with them, because there were several, all in differently shaped boxes. But Ashlee didn’t do anything but set them on her bed in lieu of opening them, and it wasn’t really Dana’s business anyway. She got ready for work, waved goodbye to Ashlee (no kiss yet, Ashlee insisted that she needed to feel fully recovered first), and set o
ff for the bus stops.
The boxes were no longer on Ashlee’s bed when Dana got home from work that night. Not a big surprise, since Ashlee was on said bed. What was a surprise was that she was still awake; it had been a Fantasmic night, and so it was about eleven by the time Dana had finished dinner and crept into the bedroom—only to find Ashlee still sitting up.
“Hey.” Ashlee yawned as Dana closed the door behind her. “Welcome back.”
“Thanks,” Dana said. “What are you still doing up?”
“Wanted to wait for you. You’re working tomorrow, aren’t you?”
“Um, yeah.” Dana normally didn’t work Wednesdays, because she had her morning Disney class, but she’d traded an afternoon shift with a coworker, in exchange for getting Thursday off. It would be the first time in a while that she’d had two consecutive days off that were completely work-free, and she was looking forward to having her own version of a weekend.
“Do you know what time you’ll be home?”
“Probably around seven?”
“Okay. Good.”
“You needed to stay up to ask me that?” Dana asked incredulously. “You could have just sent a text.”
Ashlee shrugged and lay down. “G’night.”
Dana looked down at the cover-lump, confused. “Night,” she ended up saying before grabbing up her pajamas and going to the bathroom to change.
Ashlee wasn’t yet asleep when Dana came back out of the bathroom after she’d changed and gone through her nightly routine, and Dana didn’t feel like going to the living room with her laptop. She’d had a long day. She wanted to stay in bed. So she just changed the television channel from Disney to the Food Network and idly watched a show until her eyes started to droop shut.
When she turned off the TV, she didn’t hear anything from Ashlee’s side of the room, so Dana set the remote down and pulled up the covers, closing her eyes.
