by Desiree Holt
“I like to think I am an honorable man,” he began. “I’m a SEAL. The fact I’m no longer active doesn’t change who I am. I serve with honor on and off the battlefield, and the ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstances, is what sets me apart from others. I would be breaking my oath of honor if I let my sexual hunger for you ride roughshod over all the feelings you’ve been carrying around for years.”
She blinked. “You have sexual hunger for me?”
His laugh sounded rough even to himself. “As if it isn’t obvious. Surely I’m not the first man who wanted this with you. Wanted to make love to you. Right?”
Micki looked down. “No, but they never called it making love. Or used any kind of tenderness with it. Maybe if they had…” She swallowed. “Maybe if they had approached it differently, I wouldn’t have hated it so much.” Then she looked up. “But it’s different with you, Alex. I feel different with you. I-I felt something the first time we met, and I—I want this. Please don’t make me beg. If you don’t want it, just say so.”
Sweet Jesus!
Alex closed his eyes for a long moment, gathering himself, willing his galloping sex drive to downshift into first gear. From the moment he’d shaken hands with Micki Schroeder at her parents’ home, something inside him had taken hold, a surge of emotion he’d never felt with a woman. The thought of another man treating her disrespectfully in bed made his blood boil, but the thought of anyone else teaching her how great sex could be made him want to mark his territory like a wolf.
He was silent so long, she let out a heavy sigh and tried to take a step back, but he refused to let her.
“It would be my honor to take you to bed and show you how wonderful sex can be,” he told her. “I only hope I don’t disappoint you.”
She gave a giddy little laugh. “That would be impossible. I’m afraid the shoe will be on the other foot.” She wound her arms around him and pressed her face to his chest. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I know we just met, and I don’t have any claim on you, but for the first time in my life—”
God! Her words made his heart ache. He touched the tip of a finger to her lips. “Forget about all that. I want this, too. I hope I can be everything you need.”
“I think you can be more,” she whispered.
He was humbled by her words, by her feelings for him, and by her trust.
“Okay, then. Here’s what we’ll do. First, we need to get your car out of that ditch and haul it here. I was going to try to get with the men who have been identified as the closest to your father and see if I could dig anything out of them, but—”
“I can tell you,” she interrupted.
“Tell me what?”
“About his so-called inner circle. They’ve been the same group since before I was a teenager. And while I haven’t been home much, my mother still emails me regularly with all their social trivia, as if I’m interested. I can answer your questions. So can Jason.”
He took her hands in his. I don’t want to put you through an emotional wringer that’s going to upset you. That’s the last thing I want.”
She shook her head. “I’ve already been as upset as I’m going to get. I’ve lived with it for sixteen years. It’s time to get this blown open, and I know you’re the man who can do this.”
He studied her face for a long time, wanting to make sure she wasn’t just saying the words. But he saw the answer in her eyes, eyes that weren’t showing distress or anguish or pain. Only longing with a touch of desperation. And maybe a need to reach a place where she could finally put this behind her.
“Then let’s get to that car. I don’t like the idea of leaving it on the side of the road.”
Twenty minutes later, her car was parked next to his at the side of the house, and they were inside. Alex wasn’t quite sure how to proceed at this point. To just start taking their clothes off seemed both clinical and unemotional to him, and he had plenty of damn emotion where this woman was concerned. His cock was trying to break through his fly, and his balls felt like they might explode at any moment.
Micki stepped up to him, smoothed her hands over his chest, and drew his head down to hers. She was tall enough he didn’t have far to bend. The touch of her lips ignited him the way it had earlier and, in the next moment, he stopped worrying about how to pick up where they left off. When she licked his lips before thrusting her tongue into his mouth, his aching balls tingled even more.
With an effort, his ripped his mouth away.
“Not here, not like I’m some rutting animal who has no control.” He blew out a breath. “Although, with you, that’s probably not far from wrong. But I want to do it right.”
“Thank you.” Her voice was so soft, he had to strain to hear it.
“You’re in charge, Micki. Anything you like or don’t like, you tell me. Okay?”
“O-Okay.”
He’d make it so even if it killed him.
He carried her up the stairs and into his room, where the centerpiece was an oversized king bed made of Ponderosa pine. Thank the lord he was meticulous about making it every morning, a leftover habit from the military—from the times when he actually had a bed to sleep in. Now he set her down on her feet, folded the covers back then urged her to sit on the side of the bed.
“Don’t do anything,” he told her. “I want the pleasure of undressing you myself.”
“Okay.” She folded her hands in her lap, but not before he could see the slight tremble.
Be sure you do this right, asshole. Miss Micki Schroeder is someone very special, maybe the person you’ve been looking for all your life. So, don’t fuck things up.
He kept his eyes on her face while he pulled off his boots and removed all of his clothes except his black boxer briefs. At the moment, their constriction was the only thing helping him maintain control. Then he knelt in front of Micki, took both of her hands in his, and kissed the knuckles.
“I want you so damn bad I can hardly control myself,” he told her. “But I’m a SEAL. Control is my middle name. And I am going to make this so good for you, you’ll forget every unpleasant memory living in your mind.”
“Promise?” Her voice was low and soft.
“You have my word.”
So saying, he cradled her cheeks and pressed his mouth to hers, a gentle touch at first then more insistent. As he licked the edges of her lips then eased his tongue inside, he tugged her sweater up, nudging her arms until he had it to her shoulders. He had to break contact with her mouth to pull it over her head, but the sight facing him made it more than worthwhile. Small, perfect breasts rested in pink silk and lace, the dark tips visible through the thin material. His mouth watered at the sight of them, and he slid his hands down to cradle the plump little mounds. When he gave them a gentle squeeze, she sucked in her breath, so he squeezed again. Then he slipped his hands down to the waist of her jeans and teased her by running the tip of a finger along the inside of the waistband. When a tiny shiver raced over her, his cock hardened even more, if that was possible.
Next came the button and the zipper, and he nudged her to lie back on the bed. Flat shoes came off, he tugged the jeans down and tossed them to the side with her sweater, and she lay there in her sheer bra and matching panties. If his mouth had watered before, he was fairly drooling now.
She trembled slightly beneath his touch, and again he called on every ounce of self-control to slow down and make this good for her. Bracketing her body with his arms, he leaned over her and touched his lips to hers in a light caress.
“You okay there?”
She nodded, but he glanced down and saw she had clenched her hands into fists at her side.
“Micki, we can stop any time you want. Any time it gets to be uncomfortable for you.”
She exhaled a slow breath. “I want this, Alex. And that’s no lie. You are the first man ever I really, really wanted to do this with. Not just someone to push me over that wall. So, please don’t stop.
Okay?”
“Okay, but remember, you’re in charge. Whatever you want is all up to you.” He paused. “Or don’t want. You tell me that, too.”
She caught her lower lip between her teeth. “I want this,” she repeated.
“Okay. Then I’d like nothing better than to give you what you want.”
And he would, even if it killed him.
He started with light kisses on her cheeks and her forehead then down the slender column of her neck. He took his time, interspersing each press of his lips with little nibbles, watching her relax in tiny increments. The key, he knew, was to make it nonthreatening. A pleasurable experience.
He nipped at each earlobe before licking her neck again and moving his tongue to the hollow of her throat, where her pulse was beating so wildly. He sucked on it with a gentle pull before dusting more kisses in the valley between her breasts. He could see her relax a bit with each touch, each kiss. Those fists at her side were a good indicator of her degree of apprehension, so he kept an eye on them.
He coasted his mouth in a slow sweep along the side of one breast, waited to see if she’d tense up again, but her hands were still semi relaxed. So far, so good.
He nibbled his way around the one breast, taking his time until he reached the nipple. When he pulled it into his mouth, fabric and all, the tiniest sigh eased from her, so he closed his lips over the hard bud and sucked.
“Ohhh.”
Alex smiled around the tip of her breast as the long sigh of gratification slipped from her, and he sucked a little harder. Encouraged when she arched up to him, he added a scrape of his teeth, drawing another sexy little moan. With a gentle slide, he eased over to the other breast and gave it the same intent treatment, sucking and nibbling until the fabric of her bra was so wet it was nearly invisible.
Sliding his hands beneath her, he found the clasp, released it, and eased the straps down her arms. Her eyes were closed, and she gave a tiny sigh of pleasure. The sound of it went straight to his groin, and he reached for every bit of self-control again. He was not going to rush this, even if it killed him. Which, he was afraid, it just might do.
He took his time again with her perfect breasts, laving the rosy tips, nibbling on them, sucking them into his mouth, squeezing the mounds. Little by little, he saw the tension ease even more until her hands were not curled into fists but flat, pressing into the sheet.
Time to move on.
She lay flat on the bed, her legs hanging loose, feet touching the floor. Now he eased himself down to his knees, so he was positioned between her legs, and nearly swallowed his tongue at the sight. The pale pink panties were as sheer as the bra, making it easy to see the sable brown of the curls covering her mound. No waxing or trimming for this woman, and the sight sent a sudden shot of heat through his body straight to his already overworked balls.
He dropped kisses along her stomach, pausing now and then to swirl his tongue in the indentation of her navel. At first she tensed again, but he never stopped, and in seconds she relaxed again. Her breathing accelerated, and the little sounds of satisfaction whispering from her mouth made him harder than a steel spike. When he thought she was ready, he hooked his fingers in the lace trim of her panties and eased them down her legs and off. He waited to see if they’d reached a stopping point, but she just lay there, silently offering herself to him.
“You okay, honey?” He watched her face as he waited for her answer.
“Uh huh. Don’t stop now.”
“Keep your eyes closed. You’re really gonna love this next part.”
He had no idea how he was able to move so slowly, but the thought of moving too fast and frightening her gave him a lot of self-control. More than anything, he wanted to be the man who brought her the first taste of real sexual enjoyment. Who taught her how good sex could really be with the right person.
With great care, he eased the skimpy panties down her thighs and off, dropping them on the floor. Resting his palms on her thighs so she was fully exposed to him, he lowered his head and pressed his face to her curls, inhaling her essence. Unable to help himself, he pressed open the lips of her sex and drew a line the length of the glistening flesh with his tongue.
Holy sweet Jesus!
Nothing he had ever tasted in his life compared to this, sweet with a hint of the sharpest taste of something pleasant that lingered on his tongue. Micki jerked her hips at his touch, and a soft cry he hoped was one of desire drifted her from her mouth. He did it again, and again, and with each slow swipe of his tongue, she gave another little gasp. When she tried to lift her hips closer to his mouth, he wanted to shout for joy that the fear was dissipating. Disappearing.
“Oh my god! Oh. My. God.”
Her words were music to his ears.
Good job, Rossi.
Then he parked his brain and let his body take over, giving her reactions his full attention. He licked the rosy pink inner flesh of the lips of her sex, up one side and down the other, over and over, teasing her until at last he flicked the edge of his tongue against her clit.
Sweet Jesus!
She grabbed his head and held it in place while she lifted her legs and wound them around his neck, locking him to her body. Somehow, without dislodging anything, he nudged her a little farther onto the bed so he could better kneel in place and concentrate on what he was doing. There was no nervous tension now. She hadn’t pulled away or told him to stop. She was fully engaged in what he was doing, trying to pull his mouth impossibly closer to her body.
He managed to move one hand enough to reach her drenched sex and slide one finger into her hot channel. At once, her muscles clenched and tightened around it. and she did her best to ride it. He glanced up and saw her eyes tightly closed, her face pink with sexual desire and intent with concentration, nothing mattering to her except reaching that elusive peak. One she probably didn’t even know was possible.
He slipped another finger in with the first, scissoring them to stretch her slick tissues, never faltering in his rhythm. The last thing he wanted was to jolt her out of the long slide to what would probably be her first real orgasm. He put every ounce of concentration into it, reading her body, her responses, increasing the pace. Curling his fingers barely enough to scrape that sweet spot each time.
She was a wild woman now, riding his hand and his mouth for all she was worth. Then he took her swollen clit into his mouth and sucked on it hard, and she exploded, her entire body shook with the force of her climax. She rocked back and forth, shuddering with the intensity of it all.
At last, when the spasms lessened, he eased her down a little at a time until her legs finally dropped and she lay back, panting, sweaty, face pleasantly flushed. Alex slid her a little farther onto the bed and lay over her, caging her in his arms. He thought he’d never seen a more beautiful sight. She opened her eyes slowly, and he grinned at her.
“I’m guessing that’s never happened before.”
“Are you kidding?” She giggled. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”
“Nobody’s taken you on that kind of a trip?” he teased.
“Maybe for a ride down a rocky road, but not even in the same world as this.” Her lips curved in a smile. “Thank you, Alex. Thank you, thank you.”
“Trust me. The pleasure was all mine.”
She lay there, limp, spent but smiling, but with a look in her eyes as if she’d discovered some special secret.
“I-I can’t believe…” She paused. “I didn’t know…” She shook her head.
It’s okay. I understand. Although I might have to go on a spree and murder a few people, starting with the man who nearly destroyed you when you were fourteen, and all the other assholes since then.”
“No. Because if they caught you, they’d lock you up and then what? I’m just beginning to discover what all the fuss is about.” She bracketed his head with her palms. “But you know, we aren’t finished yet.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “I thought that might be quite enough
for you for the first time.”
“Uh uh. I want the whole thing. All of it. Every bit. I want you inside me, and I want to feel you come.”
He studied her face. “Micki, I don’t—”
She touched a finger to his lips. “What if I have a relapse? I might miss it altogether.”
He chuckled. “I don’t think that’s going to happen, but—”
“I’m not taking any chances.” The smile disappeared from her lips. “You’ve given me a gift, Alex. A special one. Let’s not stop now.”
His brain told him. Not to push her too far too fast. To show her what sexual enjoyment and satisfaction was and ease her into the rest. Except his cock was pleading with him to slide it into her hot, wet waiting warmth. While his brain was debating with itself, she wound her legs around his waist and began sliding her body back and forth against his. And all his good intentions flew out the window.
“Okay. You’re in charge.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Don’t move,” he told her, as he reached for his pants, pulled out his wallet, and fished a condom from inside.
“Why, Sheriff!” She licked her lips. “So you carry more than a gun with you.”
“I’ll show you a gun,” he warned as he sheathed himself, lifted her legs over his shoulders, and spread the lips of her sex. Wet. She was still soaked. Good. It would be that much easier for her.
Alex drew in a breath to steady himself, let it out slowly, and positioned the head of his shaft at the opening of her sex.
“Deep breath,” he told her, as he entered her very, very slowly.
He moved one hand and began to stroke her clit with a soft back-and-forth movement. Heat flared in her eyes, and her breathing quickened. The deeper he penetrated her, the wider her eyes opened.
“Tell me if I hurt you,” he told her through gritted teeth.
“You’re fine. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
At last, he was fully inside her, the thickness of his shaft stretching her walls, gripping him like a tight fist. And then he began to move, a slow back and forth to start then faster as his need grew and heat shot through him like an arrow of fire. He clenched his teeth to hold back as long as he could, wanting her at the peak of her desire so it exceeded anything she might have dreamed about and erased all the painful memories. But when he saw and felt the signs of her orgasm about to explode, he drove into her hard and fast, again and again and again. In seconds he felt the clenching of her orgasm and released every restraint.
