“I’ll stop talking about Quinn if you stop talking about Justin.” I cross my arms and look him in the eyes. “Deal?”
“No deal.” He takes a step closer to me and grabs my shoulders. “I’ll hurt Justin if he ever hurts you, Kota. Please tell me where he lives, or I won’t be able to sleep at night. Got it?”
My stomach twists into knots, and I know I won’t be able to tell Easton no after what he just said. It seems I’m never able to tell Easton no. Not sure I’ll ever be able to. “Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll tell you where he lives.”
“Thank you. That’s all I’m asking.”
“Good.” I smile, attempting to break the tension. “Now, will you teach me how to ride your motorcycle?”
He smiles back, looking a little more relaxed. “I was waiting for you to ask. Let’s go.” He holds out his hand for me, my heart pumping faster as I take it. “It’s parked a few blocks over.”
“Why?” I ask, confused.
“Because I didn’t want you to hear me coming. Just in case you wanted to be alone.” He squeezes my hand. “Didn’t want you running from me like last time.”
Once we get to the gate, he releases my hand to hold it open for me. We walk side by side to his motorcycle, his hand brushing mine every so often when we wander too closely together, but he never takes it in his again, which sucks.
I know I shouldn’t want him to hold my hand after he just spent the night at Prom with my sister, but the heart wants what it wants, and my heart wants Easton Crews.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asks once we reach his motorcycle.
I nod excitedly. “I’ve been ready since the day you got this bad boy running.”
“I don’t even know why I asked,” he says with a slight laugh, before placing his hand on my lower back. “Stand right here, grab the right handle and then swing your leg over.”
I do as he says as he guides me to make sure I don’t knock the bike over. Once I’m straddling the bike, he shows me the foot peg position and the location of the lights and signals.
“All right, perfect.” He places his hand over my right one. “This hand is responsible for accelerating and braking.” He twists the grip toward me, showing me how to apply the throttle before placing my hand on the brake lever to get me familiar with it. “Be careful not to yank it too hard or the front brakes can lock up. Got it?”
I nod. “Got it.”
“Good.” He points at my right leg. “This foot controls the rear brake.” He points to my left side. “That one is for shifting…”
He goes on to explain shifting gears and safety with me, but I can barely concentrate on what he’s saying due to his closeness. He smells so incredibly good and feels even better.
“You listening, Kota?” He moves around to look me in the eyes. “You have to listen to everything I say. This is important. Promise me you get me?”
“I do.” I shake off my thoughts and focus on his words again. “I promise.”
“Okay, good.” He grabs his helmet and slides it on my head, before climbing on behind me and helping me hold the bike up. “Let’s go for a ride then.”
“You’re riding with me?” I ask, nervously. “You didn’t ride with when you taught me how to ride your dirt bike.”
“This is different, Kota. I’m not letting you ride a damn motorcycle by yourself. Not for a while at least. Not until I feel comfortable with it.”
“I can do it by my—”
“Not until I say so,” he cuts in. “Promise me you won’t touch a motorcycle without me until I say you’re ready.” His tone is stern, and I can tell he’s worried about me. If it were anyone else, I’d argue until I was on this motorcycle alone. Not Easton. I hate when he’s worried about me.
Exhaling, I nod. “Fine. I’m ready.”
Starting the bike is comfortable with Easton’s instructions, but taking off is a little rocky. Especially when Easton grips my waist with both hands, almost causing me to drive off the side of the road.
“Take it easy. You’re fine. Lean into the curve a little,” he says beside my ear, so I do. “Perfect. Just like that. Don’t be nervous. I’m right here.”
I take a deep breath and slowly exhale, trying to ignore Easton’s hands on me and his mouth so close to mine. My heart is pounding so hard that I’m starting to panic. I know I can’t, though, so I focus on my breathing and the road.
It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, because concentrating on anything other than Easton when he’s this close is practically impossible. It’s probably best to cut the ride short before I kill us both.
I pull over on the side of the road and climb off the bike, turning away from Easton so I can get a grip. The motorcycle goes silent, so I can only assume that Easton is getting off as well.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice right behind me now. “Need me to do anything?”
I shake my head, before turning around to face him. “Nope. I’m perfectly fine. It’s such a rush—your body cutting through the air like that. I needed a minute.” I’m not lying about that; I just didn’t add the part about him pressed up against me. Being so close to Easton is the greatest rush of all.
He smiles, making my heart beat even faster. I didn’t even realize that was possible. I swear Easton is going to be the death of me. “I should probably get you home before your dad kicks my ass. It’s late. Hop on.”
“Right. We should go.” He climbs on and starts the engine before I climb on behind him and wrap my arms around his center. I notice immediately that his heart is beating just as fast as mine. Maybe even faster.
“Hold on tighter, Kota. Don’t let go,” he says, before taking off.
“I won’t,” I whisper to myself, holding onto him for dear life. I take this moment to enjoy his closeness before it gets ripped away. At least on the back of his motorcycle, I can pretend I’m holding him so tightly because I’m scared of falling off and getting hurt. No one has to know the truth—that it’s because I want and need to be close to him—not even him.
We pull up in front of my house and I climb off his bike, handing his helmet to him. “You’re not coming in?”
He shakes his head. “Nah. I should get home to see my dad. I’ve been gone all day.” He winks, before sliding his helmet on. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
I smile and back up. “I’ll be waiting.”
He rides away, and I walk away feeling giddy. I was so worried about Easton going to Prom with my sister, telling myself that his calls would stop after that and they would end up dating. I was wrong, and I couldn’t be happier. Maybe things won’t change, after all. Everything can stay the same.
I open the door, a smile on my face, but my smile fades when I close the door and look behind me to see my family gathered in the living room. I can tell that something is wrong. My mom and Quinn both look like they’ve been crying, and my dad and Roman look like they’re trying hard not to.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice shaky.
“Is Easton headed home?” My dad stands from the couch, his facial expression uneasy.
“Yeah,” I say gently, my emotions creeping up. “Easton wanted to see his dad. He…” My words linger in the air as a sob escapes Quinn, and that’s when I know that Easton’s dad is gone.
“No…” I shake my head, hot tears sliding down my cheeks. “He can’t be… Easton has to see him first. He has to say goodbye. If he doesn’t get to tell his dad… He’s on his way right now to see him!”
My dad shakes his head, and that’s when I lose it.
“I have to be there for him! I have to go!” I reach for the door, barely able to see through my tears, but my dad grabs me before I can open it. “Let go!” I yell. “Easton needs us to be there for him!”
My dad pulls me into his arms and buries my face into him. “No. We can’t, Dakota. Not right now.”
“Why?” I push away from my dad and look up at him. “Why not? He’s family!”
>
“Because his mom requested that they have some time alone. Trust me… we want to be there for Easton too, but we have to respect his mother’s wishes.”
“So we can’t see him tonight? When then? When can we see him?”
My mom shakes her head. Her eyes are red from crying. “I don’t know, honey. They need some time to grieve as a family. We’ll have to wait and see.”
Angry, I rush to my room and slam the door shut behind me, needing to be away from everyone. How can they ask me to stay away from Easton at a time like this? If I ever lost someone I love as much as Easton loves his dad, I’d want Easton to be there for me.
I grab my cellphone from the dresser and press my back against the door, sliding down to the floor. If Easton calls, I want to be here for him. Even if it takes all night, I’ll be awake, waiting.
Only his call never came. He didn’t answer the phone when I called him either, and the next time I saw him was at the funeral where he barely spoke more than ten words the entire time.
It broke my heart to see Easton so broken, and what hurts the most, is that there was nothing I could do to fix him. I kept telling myself all I can do is be there for him when he’s ready.
As the days pass, I hope that day comes soon, because I can’t imagine my life without Easton. I don’t want to.
Easton
It’s been a week since my father passed away, and today is the first day other than his funeral that I’ve left the house.
Everything feels different without his presence somehow. It feels like a piece of me is missing, and what makes this so damn hard is that there’s only one person who can make me feel somewhat whole again. However, losing my dad has left me vulnerable, and if I allow myself to lean on Dakota, I know I’ll blur the lines of our friendship and I’ll do and say things I’ve been fighting years to keep inside.
I can’t do that to her when I’m barely able to get out of bed or function. I can’t let her carry the weight of both of us. So, I’ll keep my distance for now. I hope she understands. I need her to understand.
I don’t bother stopping at my locker when the bell rings. Instead, I walk straight through the doors until I’m outside, keeping my attention focused ahead of me to avoid the looks of sympathy from everyone around me. I plan to jump into my truck and get the hell out of here before anyone has time to stop me. I can’t talk to anyone right now.
When I step outside, I stop and run my hands through my hair, letting my emotions wash through me now that I’m away from prying eyes. My moment alone doesn’t last long, though, before the door bursts open and bodies come piling out.
I fall into step with the crowd, and I’m just about to break free when someone laces their fingers through mine, stopping me from walking. I know right away that it isn’t Dakota, because if it were her, I’d feel it in my bones. I always feel it deep when she touches me, or I touch her.
“Are you okay, Easton?” Quinn looks up at me, her blue eyes filled with concern. “Please, let me help you. Talk to me.”
I look down at our hands and just as I’m about to pull mine away, Mae walks by and yells, “You two are such a cute couple. I have to hurry but hug Easton for me. I’m so sorry.”
My stomach sinks, because I suddenly realize there are a lot of curious eyes on us, one of them being Roman. It’s just been made public in front of half the school that Quinn is my girlfriend. She’s not. However, somehow she is, because it won’t be long before everyone will be talking about it.
My head is screaming to pull away from Quinn and tell everyone that we’re not dating. That we’re just friends who went to Prom together, but the moment Roman’s intense gaze lands on mine, I know he’s telling me not to hurt her.
The Quinn situation is something I’ll have to address later. I’m in no state of mind to talk my way out of this right now. I’m in no state of mind to do anything right now.
When I look away from Roman, my attention lands on Dakota walking out of the building with Justin’s arm around her. I unknowingly squeeze Quinn’s hand, and she moves in closer to me and cuddles up against my side as if she’s my girlfriend.
I’m too busy watching Dakota with Justin to think of a nice way to ask Quinn to give me some space. Seeing her with him adds to the hurt that’s already piling up inside. It’s killing me. Seeing Dakota makes something inside of me come alive. Something I haven’t felt since losing my dad. I feel somewhat human again.
Everything in me is screaming to pull her away from Justin and into my arms. I want to tell her that I’ll answer her call next time. I want to explain to her why I haven’t been able to for the past week, but I can’t.
“…it’s true,” Quinn says, interrupting my thoughts. I have no idea what was just being said. “I’m here for you, Easton.” She steps up and kisses me on the cheek at the exact same time that Dakota looks our way. There’s no doubt in my mind that Quinn and I genuinely seem like a couple right now in Dakota’s eyes.
She freezes for a moment, as if she can’t move, before she finally grabs Justin’s hand and they walk away together.
Another piece of me dies at the sight, because I know that I’ll probably never have Dakota as mine.
Easton
I’ve been awake for nearly two hours now, my thoughts making it impossible to stay asleep. I didn’t know what to expect last night when Dakota came home from the bar to find me waiting outside of her house, but I took my chances in hopes of her letting me in anyway. She did that and so much more, blowing my fucking mind.
Dakota is living in a fantasy world if she believes things between us can go back to the way they were before. There’s no chance in Hell I can forget about us after knowing what it feels like having her as mine. I will never be the same again. I’m even more screwed up over Dakota now than I’ve ever been before.
After she’d fallen asleep in my arms last night, I laid there, running my hand through her hair, replaying every detail of making love to her. The way her lips felt against mine, needy and just as desperate. The way it felt pushing into her for the first time. The way her heated skin pressed against mine as our bodies moved together so fucking perfectly.
Nothing will ever compare to making love to Dakota Brooks. She’s crazy if she thinks I won’t fight to the death to have her as mine for good. Dakota has ruined me for all other women. The truth is, she did in the very beginning; she just didn’t know it. Dakota Brooks was always it for me. Always will be. Last night solidified that.
I run my hands through my sweaty hair and open the window, before pulling out a cigarette. I’ve needed a smoke since the moment I released myself inside Dakota and claimed her as mine. Fuck, how I needed one.
But the fear of Hope stopping by after leaving the bar to find me here had Dakota making me promise that I’d gather our clothing from the living room floor and come right back to her bedroom.
I did that, and now here I am, at four o’clock in the morning, placing a cigarette between my lips and exhaling out the window in hopes of not waking Dakota with my smoke.
The alarm is set for five, but I know there’s no way in Hell I’ll be able to fall asleep again. Not with all the shit on my mind. My brain is going nonstop, trying to come up with ways for Dakota and I to be together. She said last night that us making love was never supposed to happen, but even she knew the moment the words left her mouth, that it was a lie. The biggest lie she’s ever told me.
After taking one last drag off my cigarette, I lick my fingers and put it out, before sticking it back into the pack. I turn back around to see Dakota is still sleeping.
She hasn’t moved an inch since I crawled out of bed, which is surprising, considering the way we were tangled together so tightly. I don’t blame her for being worn out. Making love to Dakota took a lot out of me emotionally and physically. Finally being with her after all these years had me feeling every possible emotion all at once. It was completely fucking overwhelming in the best way possible, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do
to have that feeling with her again.
Ten minutes before the alarm is set to go off, I stand from the chair and get dressed, being careful not to wake her. I stand here for a few moments, unable to leave her, before I finally force my feet to work.
I’ve barely made it outside when an ache in my chest has me wanting to turn back around and go back to her. Leaving Dakota has never been easy. It’s an unwelcoming feeling I’d do anything to not have to feel again.
When I make it back to the hotel, I stand naked in the bathroom, gripping the sink as I fight off thoughts of Dakota and Ben that have creeped back into my head now that I’m away from her. Last night, while I was with Dakota, I tried not to let his words fuck with me, but now that I can’t touch her, they’re haunting me again.
“Fuck!” I push away from the sink and turn on the shower water, giving it a few minutes to get hot before stepping in. I place my hands against the wall and lower my head, allowing the water to beat against my sore shoulders. There’s no doubt that Dakota left her nail marks on me. They’re marks I’d gladly keep forever as a reminder of being inside the woman I love.
I don’t know how long I’ve been standing here with the water beating against my back and shoulders, trying to drown out the noise in my head, when my phone vibrates inside the pocket of my jeans on the floor.
The thought that it could be Dakota has me shutting the water off and stepping out of the shower. I walk across the room dripping wet and dig my phone from my pocket to see who it is.
I toss my phone down and reach for a towel when I see that it’s a text from Roman letting me know he wants to meet up after I get done at the shop to hang out. I have no idea how he’s even up this early. Hope didn’t drive by the house until close to one this morning, which tells me game night probably ended around then.
I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to Dakota after work, but it looks like I need to come up with a way to get her alone at the shop instead. There’s no way I’ll be able to wait until tonight.
Wreck My World Page 17
