“What the shit?” Stiles stops eating pizza long enough to realize what’s going on. “Is he trying to take Easton out?”
“The fucker isn’t that stupid. I think he’s trying to intimidate him,” Roman says tightly. “He’s going to get them both killed.”
I can’t fucking breathe as I stand back helplessly and watch Ben threaten Easton with his bike. They’re going way too fast for Ben to be messing around this way, and Easton doesn’t seem to be slowing down.
“Stop the race, Stiles. Right fucking now!” I panic and reach for Stiles’ megaphone, and right as I bring it to my lips, I look back out at the track in just enough time to see Ben kick Easton’s bike.
My breath catches in my throat, my hand going to my mouth when Easton loses control of his bike and crashes, his bike skidding across the track, almost getting hit by the other racers. A few of them almost crash themselves to get out of the way.
Without a second thought, I slam Stiles’ megaphone into his chest and take off running toward the track as fast as I can on shaky legs. I can hear footsteps following behind me—most likely my brother and Stiles—as I hurry through the gate and over to where Easton is struggling to unpin his leg.
“Easton!” I yell out, scurrying to my knees to help him move his bike. “Are you okay? Is anything broken?” I yank his helmet off, my hands trembling around his face. “Answer me!”
He nods and reaches for his leg to check on it. “Fuck, that hurt,” he groans out, his eyes locking on mine as he struggles to stand up, trying not to put too much weight on his right leg. “I’m fine, Kota. No broken bones.”
Relieved that Easton is okay, I crush my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depends on it. He kisses me back, before backing away, his eyes landing on Ben who is standing off to the side with a big grin. It hits me that I just kissed Easton in front of everyone.
My heart drops to my stomach and I can’t breathe.
Ben did this shit on purpose. He knew I’d freak out if anything happened to Easton, and he was right.
Before anyone has a chance to react to what just happened, Easton comes at Ben, tackling him down to the track, his cut-up fist flying at his face repeatedly.
“Fucking shit! He’s going to kill him.” Stiles rushes over to try to pull Easton off, but he shoves Stiles back and goes right back to pounding Ben’s face.
There’s blood everywhere, and after a few more good hits, my brother finally moves from his spot and helps Stiles pull Easton off Ben.
“Crazy son of a bitch!” Ben attempts to jump at Easton, but gets stopped by my brother stepping in-between them.
“Stay the fuck back, Logan! Your shit is coming next.” Roman’s jaw flexes as he turns away from Ben to look at me. “What the fuck did I just see, Dakota? Please tell me my eyes were fucking with me just now.”
I shake my head, barely able to function as he confronts me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know how—”
“You’re fucking sorry?” Roman mutters, taking a step back, his jaw flexing in anger. “I don’t want to hear that shit from you, and I sure as fuck don’t want any excuses. You lied to my goddamn face, Dakota. You told me there was nothing going on between you two.” He turns his attention to Easton beside me. “And you call yourself a fucking friend? In my book, you’re just as much of a shit friend as Ben. Maybe even more.”
“Roman. We can talk about this, man.” Easton takes a step forward and my brother swings out, punching him across the face. Instead of hitting him back, he stands tall and nods. “I deserve that.”
“Fuck that. I can’t look at you or my sister right now. Do you know how messed up this is? You deserve more than that.” He nods at Ben, who is using his shirt as a towel to soak up the blood from his mouth and nose. “But this asshole did enough damage on the track. You might not feel it now, but you’ll be sore by morning.” He walks over to Ben, stopping inches from his face. “And you’re fucked-up for what you did. Don’t let me see your ass around for a long fucking time. And yes, that’s a goddamn threat, Ben. I will fuck you up.” He walks away, stopping to say one last thing to me. “I don’t want to talk to you for a while.”
“Don’t fucking do this. I’m your sister, Roman.”
“Yeah. And so was Quinn. Or did you already forget about her?”
“No, of course not,” I force out, my voice unsteady. “That’s not fair and you know it.”
“Yeah. Well tell that to Quinn. Oh wait… you can’t.”
“Roman, wait!” I stand back, hands in my hair as Roman walks away, punching the fence on his way out. If I thought I felt sick before, I’m close to throwing up right here on the track.
Easton grabs my arm, but I yank it away and pull at my hair, fighting with my entire being not to breakdown right here in front of everyone. “Don’t touch me. Just… don’t fucking touch me, Easton.” I turn to Ben and spit in his face, before shoving him a few times. I’ve never been so angry with someone to spit in their damn face. This is how much I hate the piece of shit. “You fucked up. I don’t ever want to speak to you again. Fuck you, Ben.”
“Come on, Dakota.” Ben wipes my spit from his bloody face, his jaw tensed. “It was going to come out at some point anyway. Not my fault it needed a push.”
Easton comes at Ben again, but Stiles jumps in-between them, holding Easton back. “Not now, man. Take it easy. I think you did enough damage to his face for now. Just walk away before you hurt your leg more than Ben already has.”
“Fuck! I should kill him.” Easton yells and kicks his bike, walking off with his hands in his hair.
I watch him for a few seconds, my mind a jumbled mess, because I want to go to him and make sure he’s physically okay like he said, but I know that I shouldn’t. I need to get out of here before I make any more stupid decisions tonight.
Pulling my eyes from Easton, I look around to see an audience watching us, so I take off for the gate, needing an escape so I can breathe.
“Dakota!” Stiles yells through his megaphone. “Come back. I’ll drive you home.”
Ignoring Stiles, I hurry through the fence, nausea overwhelming me as I jump into my car and drive off. My chest feels like it’s being crushed the moment I pull into my driveway and park.
“Dammit!” I hit my steering wheel a few times, letting my anger and frustration out. My chest burns right now and I’m fighting off tears the best I can. What kind of person am I? Who falls in love with her dead sister’s boyfriend?
After struggling for a few minutes, I step out of my car, my breathing picking up instantly when Easton’s banged-up bike pulls into the driveway and he climbs off swearing when he hurts his leg in the process.
“Go away,” I force out, slamming my car door shut. “Why must you make this harder? Why, Easton? If I wanted you here I would’ve brought you with me.”
“Son of a bitch! Stop walking and listen to me for a minute.” He grabs my arm, pulling me to him, my heart beating fast against his chest as he forces me to look up at him. “Don’t you get that I love you? I’m in love with you and have been since the day I fucking met you.” My breathing stops, my legs feeling weak beneath me. Hearing Easton say he loves me is enough to bring me to my knees, but I stand strong. “Isn’t that enough to give us a chance? If everyone would open their damn eyes it’s not that big of a surprise.”
“Don’t say that.” My voice breaks as I yank my chin away, so I don’t have to look him in the eyes when I lie. “I don’t know. I don’t know shit right now. I need to think.” I push him away and struggle with my keys. “Don’t you get that I need time away from you to think?”
“No. I don’t fucking get that, Kota. Because I don’t need any time away from you.” I run up the steps but he blocks me off before I can unlock the door. “What do you feel in your heart?” He turns me around and backs me against the door, caging me in with his body. “Stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself. Do you want me? Do you fucking love me?” he pushes when I don�
�t respond.
I breathe heavily against his lips, my hands moving up to lay flat against his chest. My throat burns, but I have to lie. “Not enough to lose everyone close to me. Now let me go.” When he doesn’t make an effort to move, I shove his chest a few times, feeling weak when his eyes meet mine.
“You mean that?” he questions against my lips.
I stay silent, unable to answer his question. Unable to throw another lie his way. I just need him gone so I can think straight. So I can figure things out, and if I don’t push him away, he won’t give me the time I need.
“Dammit!” He grabs the back of my head and slams his lips against mine. The only thing I can think to do to make him stop is slap him across the face.
Without a word, he steps back and flexes his jaw, watching as I open the door and disappear inside. The moment the door is locked behind me, I run to the bathroom and drop to my knees in front of the toilet, unable to hold back any longer.
I just lied to the one man I love. I had no choice, and I hate myself for it. I hate myself with everything in me.
Or did you already forget about her?
My brother’s words ringing in my head have me gripping the toilet again, puking until there’s nothing left in my stomach.
Easton
It’s been two days since the race and also since Dakota told me it’s best if I leave for a while. I’ve been sticking around in hopes she’ll change her mind, and even going as far as sleeping in my truck outside her house.
Not only has she not been home, but she hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts either. Her pushing me away as if I don’t fucking exist hurts far more than crashing on the track that night. Physical pain I can deal with; it’s the emotional pain when it comes to Dakota that is almost enough to cripple me.
Looking down at my phone in my hand, I squeeze it, before throwing it across my truck when it goes straight to voicemail, just like it has the past two days.
“Dammit, Kota.” I hop out of my truck and slam the door behind me, my heart racing as I step into the pub and look around.”
I haven’t seen or spoken to Roman since he found out about me and Dakota. I knew coming here would be a risk. He’ll possibly even kick my ass—who knows—maybe I do deserve more than the punch he threw my way that night.
“Easton?” Mae looks around nervously when I approach the bar, before whispering, “What are you doing here? Roman will kill you if he comes from the back and catches you. He’s been extra pissy lately.”
“Where’s Dakota?” I look her in the eyes, wanting to make sure she doesn’t try lying to me.
She breathes in deeply, before exhaling. “I don’t know, Easton. Everything’s been fucked up since the other night. What the hell were you thinking keeping it a secret? I haven’t seen or heard from Dakota, and neither has Roman. You know more than anyone that if she doesn’t want to be found, she won’t be.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Mae gives me an oh shit look when Roman’s voice comes from behind her, before silently walking away in a hurry.
“You’re lucky you’re even still standing after the shit I found out the other night,” he says when I don’t respond fast enough. “Do you have any idea how fucked up that was to find out about you and my sister in front of half the goddamn town? Most of the people there we grew up with and half of them were friends or knew of you and Quinn.”
“It was fucked up, man. I won’t deny that shit. That’s not how it was supposed to happen.” I run a hand through my hair, feeling more tense then when first walking into the pub. “You deserve to know the truth, and I’m a piece of shit for hiding it from you all these years?”
“All these years?” He stiffens up, his hands tightening around the towel in his hand. “Fucking shit, Easton. What the hell does that mean? It better not mean what I think it does.”
“It doesn’t,” I say stiffly, pissed that he’d even think that of me. “I haven’t touched Dakota before now. I wanted to. You have no idea how fucking hard it was not to over the years. How badly I ached to be with her. It’s why I left after Quinn died. I did it to protect her and your family. I did a lot of shit to protect your family.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?” He stands tall and looks me in the eyes, his jaw flexed.
“I never wanted to date Quinn. I never had any plans to. It was always Dakota for me.” My chest aches as I speak the words, feeling like shit for not wanting Quinn like she wanted me. She deserved better. “I’ve been in love with Dakota since we were kids. I was counting on you not wanting me dating your sisters to keep me from getting in a messy situation with Quinn. When she kissed me in front of everyone and you told me to take her to prom, I did. For you. Then my dad died, and Quinn was there for me, holding my hand and comforting me in front of everyone at school. I couldn’t disrespect your family by pushing her away after that. Not after everyone saw us as a couple. I dated Quinn out of respect for your family, and I knew after that there was no chance in Hell I could ever date Dakota.”
“Fuck…” he whispers, running his hands over his face, before turning away.
“After Quinn died, I was scared shitless that my feelings for Dakota would win over and I’d make the mistake of letting her know how I felt. I couldn’t fucking do that her or to your family. Not after losing Quinn. So I packed up my shit and left. When I came back two weeks ago, seeing Dakota again fucked with my head, and my feelings for her won over after all these years. I wanted to tell you. And that’s the truth. All of it. I never once made a move on her when I was with Quinn, but she’s gone now, and I’m done fighting it. I won’t anymore. Hate me if you want. I’ll eventually learn to deal with it if I have to.”
Without a word, he grabs two shot glasses and sets them down in front of me, before grabbing some whiskey and filling them. “This shit is going to fuck with my head now. You know that, right?” He grabs one of the glasses and empties it back and I do the same, before he refills the glasses. “It’s been three years since we lost Quinn. Three years. Then you show back up in town and seeing you again makes it feel like we only lost Quinn two weeks ago. You being back has made it fresh in our minds. Do you not get that? You could’ve at least given it more time.”
I nod, my stomach in knots. “I do now. I screwed up and this is me apologizing. I can’t take it back.”
“That’s what makes processing this shit so hard. It feels like not long ago you were with Quinn and we were all happy, laughing, and living our lives with no cares in the world, and then suddenly I see you kissing Dakota on the track and it reminded me that Quinn is fucking gone. That you’ve been gone too. That shit hit me hard.” He downs the second shot and I do too. He’s quiet for a few seconds, as if thinking some shit over, before he finally says, “It’s going to take time, man. It’s best if you leave for a while. Let the dust settle.”
I flex my jaw and look up at the ceiling, trying to keep my cool. I’ve already left once, and the last thing I want to do is leave Dakota again. “What about Dakota? I can’t just leave her again. I’m not doing that shit.”
“You have no fucking choice, because that’s what she needs. You did it for her before, and you’ll do it again now if you love her like you say you do. If you care that much for her, that you’re willing to risk it all, you’ll do it… for her.”
I pull my eyes from the ceiling and finally look at him again, my chest aching, knowing that he’s right. “For how long?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. A few weeks. A few months. However long she needs. Do you have any idea what it must feel like for Dakota right now? Everyone we grew up with now knows that she’s in love with her dead sister’s boyfriend. She’s going to be getting looks for a while. People are going to talk. You guys being together is going to be the hardest on her. She deserves time to figure it out, and she can’t do that when you’re here, camping outside her house.”
“How did you—”
“Hope
told me. She saw you sleeping in your damn truck and it needs to stop. Dakota won’t be coming home for a while if she knows you’re hanging around, waiting on her.” He looks toward the door and swears under his breath when someone walks in. “Just do everyone a favor and leave town for a while. Let Dakota figure out if being with you is something she can handle. If she can then you’ll know. Simple as that. But don’t try to push shit on her. That’s when I’ll step in.”
“That won’t happen. I’ll leave.” I back away, unable to speak without feeling sick. The thought of leaving Dakota without saying goodbye again hurts like nothing else. But if I can’t find her before I leave, then I might not have a choice.
I feel numb as I sit outside Dakota’s house, staring at her door as if she’s going to open it and come outside. It’s been two days since my talk with Roman at the bar and Dakota is still nowhere to be found.
All I wanted was to tell her bye before leaving. I never had the intention of leaving her again without saying bye. It killed me the first time and it’s killing me now.
“Fuck!” I slam my fist into my truck a few times, before tugging on my hair and walking over to straddle my bike. I slide my helmet on and sit here for a few more minutes, before I finally drive off, hitting the road to go back home. The one I never wanted in the first place.
By the time I get back to town, it’s past two a.m. I’m exhausted and still sore from the crash, but I know I won’t be able to sleep, so I park my bike in the parking lot of my old mechanic shop and stare at the for-sale sign in the window.
It’s been a month since I decided to close down shop and sell Crews’ Mechanics. It’s right around the same time I moved out of the apartment I’d been renting and started staying at a hotel. It was as if I knew that going back home and seeing Dakota, there’d be no coming back here. Not even for my shop. And I was right. The moment I got into town, even though I tried to convince myself it was only for a quick visit, I knew there was no way I’d be able to make this place feel like home again. Not after seeing Dakota.
Wreck My World Page 29
