Still, he couldn’t refuse to talk to her. She was clearly upset and he wanted to be a gentleman about things. She deserved explanations if she wanted them.
He texted Michelle back once he’d left Lydia.
Sure, we can talk.
He’d just have to be careful with Michelle. He didn’t want to make her think there was a chance if there wasn’t.
She seemed a little fragile.
“Don’t jerk her around,” Eric muttered to himself.
He shook his head and headed back to the front desk in the lobby. He clearly needed one of his brothers to kick his ass. Maybe that would straighten him out.
Eric decided it would be best to put Michelle off just a little bit. He agreed to meet her the next day, hoping he’d be able to dodge her around the lodge in the meantime. This was why, Eric thought, Connor had a rule about not getting involved with guests. Things could get awkward, at best, if they went sour. He found himself ducking away when he saw her pass through the lobby, hiding in the office behind the front desk so he wouldn’t have to speak to her before they’d put a little time between them following the break-up.
The next day, he planned carefully. He’d meet with Michelle that afternoon and get through that difficult conversation and then...then, he’d take Lydia to dinner. That wasn’t going to be easy either. There was a lot of hurt there and they needed to talk. But even as the injured party between the two of them, the thought of sitting across from her at dinner - much less going on a run with her in the woods just like old times - made him smile to himself.
Lydia…
“Hey.” By the time Eric sat down with Michelle, he was tired.
The lodge was booked solid. It seemed as though everyone wanted a piece of Eric. Guests wanted concert tickets, reservations at exclusive restaurants, fancy car rentals, or they had general complaints that had to be addressed. He was on edge and more than anything, he wanted another one of those high end bourbons to take the edge off. But, instead, he just took a deep breath as he sat across from Michelle in one of the cozy parlors of the lodge where he hoped Lydia might not see him.
“Hello, Eric.” Michelle smiled beatifically. Every time she was sweet and seemingly flawless, he felt a little worse for breaking up with her. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”
“Well, I know sometimes these things can take a while to process,” Eric said, “Sometimes you need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk, Eric.” Michelle reached over and covered his hand with hers where it rested on his knee. They were sitting in plush club chairs in the low light of the parlor and Michelle scooted up closer, leveling him with an intense gaze that made him feel as if he were stuck in his seat. “Do you know what I think?”
“Uh...what?”
“I think you were scared,” Michelle said quietly. “And I get it. It’s always scary to meet the right person, someone who knows you so intimately, someone you can laugh with and be your truest self with…”
Lydia, Eric thought
No, a more rational part of his brain said. That had been what Lydia used to be. That was something he wanted back, but it was most likely gone. They were probably destined to be distant adult-type friends. There had been a time when they could literally read each other’s minds. But that was all gone now.
Eric clenched his jaw and shook off the dark thought.
“I see you’re struggling with this,” Michelle said. “Please let me in.”
She gazed into his eyes, her brow furrowed. But Eric didn’t see the warmth and kindness he’d expected there. Instead, he saw...nothing. She sounded like someone who cared and her mouth formed a soft smile. But none of it reached her eyes.
It felt oddly like a lie and Eric got that creepy feeling slithering up his spine again and pulled away. “This isn’t what you think it is,” Eric said, pushing her hand away. “If you need to ask me questions, I get it. I’m really sorry if I hurt you. But I’m… This is over.” He had to be firm, he decided. Even if it felt cruel. “It just doesn’t feel right. So...if you don’t want to talk.” He got to his feet and he saw a flash of hot anger in those formerly blank eyes. “I should go.”
“Why are you throwing this away?” Michelle leapt to her feet. He was already halfway to the door but it was hard not to think he was being unfair. He clenched his jaw and turned to face her. “This is not part of the... “ She took a deep breath and her increasingly agitated demeanor disappeared suddenly. She sauntered up to him and her eyes widened. “Don’t you see how good we are together? I know you do. What is it you’re looking for? I can prove to you it’s me.”
She started to wrap her arms around him and inwardly, he dug his heels in. “It’s...it’s not you, it’s me.” He winced even as he said it. “It’s over. I really wanted it to work. I tried. But I don’t feel the same. I really am sorry. If you’re not going to accept this, I have to go.”
“Eric, I won’t accept this and someday you’ll thank me for that!”
She was like an octopus. Her arms seemed to be everywhere and it took him an awkward few moments to extricate himself before he made it out the door, leaving her glaring at him.
He was starting to think there might be something wrong with Michelle.
“Good thing I’m out of it,” he muttered, checking his phone.
Another hour, and he would see Lydia again.
Something about Michelle gave Eric a bad feeling. It was hard not to think that as much as he wanted things to be over, they were not quite over.
But he refused to think about it now as he waited in one of the private dining halls for Lydia to show up. All his happiest memories of their past together swam through his head; all the times they’d spend days together as bears off in the woods when she wanted to get away from her family and he wanted to get away from his brothers for a while. Or, when they’d helped each other get better at fishing in rivers because Eric’s brothers joked he couldn’t fish to save his life. Wrestling in the snow. Sneaking off to see movies. All the times he’d treated Lydia to this or that because she was dirt poor. She never wanted to talk about it. He knew that was a reason why she preferred to hang out with him in bear form. When they were bears, the money didn’t matter. But when they were kids in human form, he could see the holes in her shoes and the patches on her coat.
From what he could tell, she was no better off now. He was relieved that she’d taken the suite and the gift cards. At least, she could get herself some nice new clothes and treat herself for a while.
“Eric!” Lydia's voice rang out, light and sweet. He took a sip of his highball and looked up at her as she approached their table. He lost his breath a little.
Eric had not thought that Lydia looked bad when she’d shown up at the lodge. He had thought she seemed tired and a little sad, but it was hard to tell that from the awkwardness he’d fully expected.
But now she was striking. She’d clearly taken full advantage of the lodge’s spa and salons. Her thick, dark hair fell in soft, glossy waves around her shoulders and her eyes seemed bigger and brighter.
Make-up, you dummy, Eric thought.
But she wasn’t wearing very much of it, just enough to highlight her natural beauty - a little gold dusting on her eye-lids and cheeks, her lips a glossy peach. She wore a smart and sexy black cocktail dress that skirted the tops of her thighs, her long legs stretching seemingly forever beneath it and ending in a gorgeous pair of strappy heels.
His mouth was open and he was staring. He shook his head and managed to say, “Hey. You look fantastic.”
“Thanks!” Lydia tossed him a little wink and fluffed her hair, and for a moment he saw that playful younger Lydia he had known as a boy. “It’s all your lodge’s doing. You have good people there. Made me look nearly half human.”
“Oh please,” Eric said with a snort. He finally got to his feet, gesturing for her to sit down. “As if you aren’t already stupid pretty.”
It was something she used to say about him wh
en they were young.
You know you’re stupid pretty, Strauss.
He could see her now with a rounder face and more innocent eyes, grinning at him as she tossed the comment over her shoulder before shifting into her bear form and bounding off into the forest, the redwoods of Oregon looming over the both of them.
She laughed at him as she took her seat and he saw that young girl again. “What are we drinking?”
“Well, we have some great Cabernets,” Eric said. He knew all the wines of the lodge by heart. People were always asking the concierge about good wines to have sent up to their rooms. “I know they’re your favorite.”
“Well…” She chuckled and shook her head. “I ordered Cabs because they sounded fancy and you had them. It was fun to swipe one from your parents’ wine cellar once in a while is all. I wasn’t exactly a connoisseur. I never saw my mother drink wine that didn’t come out of a box.”
“Anything you like then,” Eric said, as they got comfortable.
Their table was more romantic seeming than he’d intended. He’d wanted a private dining room to avoid any prying eyes, either Michelle’s or his brothers. The room was small and dimly lit by stately candles that stood on the cream colored table cloth. He’d pushed apart the curtains at the large window so they’d have a nice view of the slopes and they had a button they could push to alert servers. Only VIPs got dining experiences like this one.
Eric leaned on his hand and watched Lydia’s eyes dance in the amber of the candle light as she made up her mind what to drink. “I think I’d like something a little harder but also light. Maybe like...vodka and soda with lime?”
“Great.” Eric pushed their server button and Jeffrey, a fox shifter server with a towel over his arm, appeared seconds later and took their order.
Their drinks came and there was some meaningless chatter about the order and Eric felt edgy as he tossed out his advice on the best dishes. They ordered their food and the chat took a dip as they ran out of small talk.
Increasingly, he felt the weight of their past sinking down upon them
Why did you leave, he wanted to ask.
As clearly as he could see her young face looking jubilant, he could remember the last time he saw her before she had run away.
He’d told her he thought she was his mate...after which she’d vanished from his life without so much as an ‘I’m sorry.’
He still wasn’t sure if he had been wrong or not.
5
Lydia
Lydia still thought of Eric as the rugged type. It wasn’t just because he was a bear. Though it might have been because he was a Strauss. All four Strauss brothers were tough fighters when they had to be (sometimes when they didn’t have to be). Any one of them could’ve been the alpha, to Lydia’s mind, including Eric. Connor just happened to be the oldest and the biggest.
So it was a little strange to see Eric in his snazzy suit with his perfect haircut; instead of him sporting some beard growth and running around in jeans before shifting to go roll around in the mud. He had always been insanely rich like all the Strausses. But he’d never seemed like it.
He was sophisticated now.
It made her feel even more out of place talking to him, even with her hair done and her fancy cocktail dress bought on his dime.
But she could fake it. For now. For Eric.
She summed up a carefree grin and said, “Do you remember when we had that tree house for a while? Before we destroyed it?”
“We probably shouldn’t have shifted inside it,” Eric said, sighing. “It really couldn’t hold two bears. Even young ones.”
“We also shouldn’t have built it over a giant mud puddle,” Lydia said.
“What are you talking about?” He smacked her shoulder, taking a long drink of his bourbon to hide what looked like a giddy smile, she thought. “Falling into that puddle was the best part of the whole thing.”
“We had a lot of fun together.” Lydia felt wistful and that was a dangerous way to be.
She couldn’t pretend everything would go back just the way it had been. They were both so much older now.
“I had a bet with myself that you were married by now,” Lydia said. “But I don’t see a ring. I don’t mean to be nosy.”
“Not being nosy,” Eric said, grinning as he rolled his eyes. “No, yeah, I’m not… Never found the right girl, I guess.”
“Thought for sure,” Lydia said softly. “Thought you’d have the mate and the cub and… just have it all. What about your brothers?”
“Well, Nathan just found his mate,” Eric said. He was only halfway through his filet and he tapped his fork on his plate thoughtfully. “Alanna. That was messy as hell but it worked out alright. She’s pregnant. Just a couple months along now, I think. Connor and Cody, not yet. I think Connor has to beat em’ off with a stick.”
Lydia smiled at that. “I’m guessing you do too.”
It was impossible for her to imagine that women didn’t throw themselves at Eric. He was rich and handsome, kind as well as strong. And best of all, once you got to know him, he could be a riot. He was blind to how intimidating all that could be and how much influence his brothers and his sleuth had exerted over him. But she forgave him. Not that it hadn’t taken a few years to get that far.
“Only when I’m my bear,” Eric said, sticking his tongue between his teeth.
“I can’t believe you still read those books!” Eric was laughing so hard, he looked like he was about to snort whiskey up his nose.
Lydia sat down on Eric’s couch and leaned down to unbuckle her strappy heels. They had gone on a run after dinner and even as bears with their thick winter coats, the cold had been bracing. But Lydia couldn’t remember having felt so good in ages.
“I’ve been living in Sparrow Creek for a while,” Lydia said, taking the highball glass he offered her.
He had invited her up to his room and it was probably stupid, but she’d had no will to refuse. Whether it meant anything was going to happen, she had no idea. She was simply unwilling for the night to end, especially after that run.
Her bear was awake in her head and her heart now, in a way it hadn’t been in far too long. It was riled up and it wanted. She had to work hard to pretend otherwise.
“And ya know,” she went on, “I don’t know a lot of people there. There’s a small bear population, a few sleuths. But it’s not huge and nobody’s very friendly. So when I’m feeling a little down, I go to the library and read a Sherman sisters mystery or look at art books.”
Eric’s mother had read Sherman sisters mysteries. She’d had a whole shelf of them in the parlor of the mansion where Eric had grown up with his brothers, outside the small town of Elkswood in Oregon. They were silly books with simple mysteries that were easy for the reader to solve. The Sherman sisters were very old and stumbled into trouble at every turn. For some reason, as kids Eric and Lydia had found the Sherman sisters mysteries absolutely hilarious.
“Anyway,” Lydia said, sighing. “It’s a comfort thing. They make me feel all homey and cozy.”
She looked down into the amber liquid of her drink and took a small sip. She was pleasantly buzzed and just a little turned on from being in Eric’s presence. But inside, the bear raged. If she let it, it would take over and she would be unable to resist its most primal urges.
Mate.
Her head pounded with it as Eric turned his head and looked into her eyes. He seemed a little sad and she looked away, hoping things weren’t about to turn serious. She felt good and warm and everything was balanced on a tightrope.
Getting serious would just tip them right over.
“Why did you leave?”
Eric’s question thundered in her ears and she sighed, rubbing her eyes. She got to her feet.
“We can’t do this right now,” she said. “Not after drinks and… Not tonight.” She spun around to face him and felt hot tears behind her eyes. “Please, Eric. Just not tonight.”
He was standing
too close, the smell of him was hypnotic and she found herself reflexively leaning in closer just as he bent his head and kissed her.
6
Eric
Lydia melted into Eric’s arms and his bear, that had been roaring in his head since she’d sat down with him at dinner hours ago, wanted to bust right out of his chest.
You’re mine, he thought desperately.
It was his child self and his teenage self and his bear and his entire being that howled from every part of him: You’re mine, you’ve always been mine…
She tasted like whiskey and a little like chocolate and like her.
A long time ago when they were kids, just figuring the world out together, they had kissed. Eric had been ten-years-old and even then he’d known: She’s for me.
He considered it a personal failure that he’d never been able to convince her of it.
“No,” Lydia whispered against his lips and shoved him away and he felt his heart shattering in his chest.
He’d read her wrong. Again.
“You found someone,” Eric blurted out. He was breathless from the kiss. He got to his feet and ran his hands through his hair, wanting to shift again just to get all this awful energy out of him, and just to feel something less confusing. “Is that why you came to Black Bear Lake?”
“No,” Lydia said. “I came here because I had dreams about you.”
“Dreams?” Eric spun on his heel to face her, a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve had these nightmares about you,” Lydia said. Her voice shook as she spoke. “They’re always the same. I’m watching you get torn apart right in front of me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I know enough to know that it means something. The fates are trying to tell me something. That you’re in danger. I just don’t know how yet. But I had to come here and do something about it.” She stopped rambling and took a breath, her eyes glassy as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. It’s easy to get wrapped up in things. Pretend it’s...like it was. But it’s not.”
Eric (Strauss Bear Shifter Brothers 0f Colorado Book 2) Page 3
