by Rosie Scott
The weather had calmed during our trek from Eteri, which made for more comfortable sailing. It also meant our mages had less potential energy to pull from natural reserves when it came time for battle. I didn't let those doubts faze me, for I was determined. There was so much uncertainty swarming around about the war and all of its active participants that I forced myself to think only about what was certain: I wanted the harbor destroyed, and I wanted to take every enemy soldier and ship I could down with it. If possible, I also wanted word to get back to Sirius that I had been here. I wanted him and all of Chairel to know my power was growing, and I wanted them to fear it.
Our first view of the famous Narangar harbor came on a bright and sunny morning at the beginning of the hottest season of the year. The city of Narangar itself was too far inland and buried within the Golden Peaks of Chairel to see from the ocean. From what I knew of Narangar, it was built on and within one of the largest mountains of the range, and structures and businesses lined up along a river of runoff which led to its massive harbor. The harbor was defensively built within a cove which arced inward beneath an outreaching peninsula. It wasn't the best defense because the cove was much too large to be terribly constricting, but the harbor itself was gigantic. It housed the entirety of Chairel's navy. Narangar did not rely on its harbor's location for its defense; it relied on its ships.
For the first time in over four years, the home country I'd been building power to overthrow laid out before me. Its greeting was majestically beautiful. The Golden Peaks rose in streaks of gray rock and white snow directly before us and to the right, while the grasslands between Narangar and the small town of Dagmar waved in sheets of green to our left. I had never seen this part of my home country, but even so, I was overcome with nostalgia. Bjorn had told me so many stories of Narangar because he loved being on the sea, and he loved the architecture of the dwarves. It was thanks to him that I had my own fondness for design.
Though I could not see the village of Dagmar from here, I also felt nostalgia for being so close to it. After all, it was the village that had meant so much to Theron. He had fallen in love with Isa there and built his strength to take the fight to the orcs of the Hydrin Forest. I only wished my friend could be with me now while I was so close to the land he'd known well.
Two dark purple hands grasped onto the railing next to me, and I glanced over to see Nyx, her black eyes rolling over the Golden Peaks and the few ships near the cove that we could see from here. A slight breeze blew her shoulder-length black hair from her face, which was an odd thing to see since she usually had her hood over her head.
Nyx felt my gaze and looked over to smile. “You're not thinking of taking the city, are you?”
I shook my head. “It's too early for that. There's no way we could hold one city here while going off to the other side of the continent and taking Hammerton.”
Nyx shrugged. “I'm glad you think these things through so I don't have to, Kai.”
I chuckled. “Just these things? Please enlighten me on what you do think through.” After Nyx didn't reply for a few moments, I added, “I'm only teasing you.”
She grinned back at me. “I know. You asked me what I thought through. There was silence. That was your answer.”
I laughed.
Nyx pointed one dark finger to the mountains. “My first assassination contract was in Narangar.”
I found that intriguing. She'd never told me that. “Was it? Who'd you have to kill?”
Without looking away from the mountains, she replied, “If I told you that, I'd have to kill you.”
“I'd like to see you try.”
Nyx snorted with humor. “Even if my sisters were still after us, I wouldn't fear divulging our guild's secrets to you.”
“But they're not after us because I heard the underground was taken and the queen is dead.” I grinned over at her from the side and laughed as she beamed over at me.
“Yes, the queen is dead. Would you like for me to tell you the story?” She teased.
“I'm pretty sure I've heard it a billion times.”
“Yes, but it's a story worth telling a billion and one times.”
“Your ego will soon surpass my own,” I mused.
Nyx chuckled. “Perhaps. Anyway, I wasn't told anything about the target other than what I needed to know. Our contracts were often written out like the one Sirius sent out on you. You know me, though. I'm a curious little bastard. I'd always snoop around if I could to try to figure out why the target had enemies. This one? I don't really know for sure. He wasn't rich. Lived in a small little shack sitting at the opening to the city from the harbor. I gathered he was a fisherman because of his belongings. He woke up before I killed him and put up a struggle. Asked me who wanted him dead, and I didn't reply. I don't think he fought back very hard because I was just a kid at the time and the idea of hurting me bothered him.” She paused. “He was easy to kill.”
“Do you feel bad about killing him?” I asked her, sensing her hesitation when she thought back to the memory.
“Ah, not really. I mean, nowadays I don't kill anyone unless they give me a reason. At the time, though, I was just twelve and looking to prove myself. I remember that contract so well because I realized just how much I loved killing. It's fascinating, you know? Like, you are a god, so you have immense power. But literally every person on Arrayis has the overwhelming power of taking a life available to them, whether it is by blade or magic or anything else. Nobody can truly say why any of us are here, or where life originated from. But we all have a say in stamping it out.” Nyx hesitated. “That man meant something to someone. He had parents, friends. He'd loved. He'd lost. Through my looting of his home, I found love letters kept in a locked chest from some rich woman across the city. Pretty sure she was married, given all her talk of being bound to other people and expectations. It wasn't hard to assume that her husband found out and hired us. I think the target knew, too. He asked me to be sure, but he knew.”
For a moment, Nyx stopped talking. The musician on the deck behind us slowed to a stop as the soldiers began to prepare to near the harbor. The trembling anticipation of battle started to spark in my veins.
“It's amazing, isn't it?” Nyx pondered aloud. “A baby is born. If it's lucky, it'll have loving parents. It grows up, forms relationships, learns skills, grows a unique set of beliefs and biases. It'll probably have grandiose ideas of what it'll accomplish in life, and set about doing those things. Along the way, maybe other people see this and decide to join in or make a stand against it. And halfway through that life, someone like me steps in and stops it all in minutes. Seconds, even. A whole life, Kai. Cut short in a matter of seconds.”
I turned to look at her. It wasn't often she was so thoughtful about such things. Nyx wasn't regretful about her time as an assassin, but she'd clearly thought more about it than most.
“Doesn't seem fair,” I finally said, sympathizing.
“No. It's not fair, but here we are, participating in it. Every person we'll kill today is a unique individual. Each of them has connections and friends who will inevitably take their death as an affront that they'll swear to avenge. Even after we take Sera and all of Chairel, Kai, the war will not end. So many people will die on both sides that vengeance will beget vengeance. It'll only stop when one side admits defeat, and I know that side will never be ours with you at the helm.”
My eyes watched my best friend carefully. “You've been happy staying with me and traveling the world. You said you liked this constant warfare.”
Nyx met my gaze. “I do. You know I love traveling and seeing all sorts of new places and bedding all races of men. I'm having the time of my life. I can't honestly imagine staying in one place for as long as I did in Sera all those years ago. I only stayed in Sera because of you. I hate having to say it because I hate emotional bullshit, but you are the most important person in my life. Men come and go, and there are thousands of them out there waiting to be discovered. But I only have o
ne Kai.”
“You and Jakan are as best of friends as can be,” I pointed out.
“I love that little bastard to pieces,” Nyx agreed. “But Jakan and Anto are as rabidly loyal to you as I am, and they will stay by your side in this war as much as I will. My point revolves around you.”
“Okay. So what's your point?” I questioned.
“This war is changing you, Kai, and I want you to be careful.” Nyx moved her gaze back to the ocean, avoiding my own. “You've always been stubborn and powerful, but over our years of travel, it is clear you are evolving. You once faced Sirius in his court while knowing Cerin was in danger, and daddy dearest made it out alive. If the same thing were to happen today, you'd kill him without a second thought, and the others there may be dead simply as collateral damage. You were terrified before going into battle with Malgor in T'ahal. I haven't seen you that terrified since.”
“I know what I'm capable of now,” I told her.
“Do you?” Nyx asked rhetorically. “I'm not deaf, Kai. I've heard everything that's been said about Hades and his power and what it means for you. I know you didn't ask for my opinion, but if you want it, you're not even half as powerful as what you could become. You don't know what you're capable of. Not yet. If it's true that your power grows with each life you leech, you are far more powerful now than you were back in Whispermere. We are at war and will continue to be at war, and during that whole time, you will be leeching from people because you know it's useful. Lust for war and vengeance runs through your veins, friend, and combining that with the possibility of becoming immortal, you will never know peace.”
I stared over at her. She couldn't have known just how well her concerns mirrored my own. “Even if I only become the ruler of Chairel, I will never know peace.”
“Does it bother you?” Nyx asked me, finally meeting my eyes again. “Because that's why I'm bringing all this up. I am fine with waging war with you. I enjoy all of this. My main concern is you. Your loyalty to your friends attracts people who have loyalty to give. For as long as war is waged, these people will die. And I'm worried that with each death you will only seek more destruction in new quests for vengeance. At a certain point, you might find yourself miserable and no longer able to enjoy it. And a life being miserable is a terrible thought, if you ask me. Even more so if one is immortal.”
I exhaled heavily. I heard someone walk up behind us with the clink of buckles, and knew Cerin had come to fetch me to prepare for battle. He must have seen Nyx and me in deep conversation because he said nothing and only waited.
“I came to the conclusion long ago that I will never know peace,” I told her, thinking back to the conversation I'd had with Jakan and Anto back in Thanati. “I am okay with that. I know well the consequences of war. And you're right, if you were to die in this upcoming battle, I would take it out on as many people as I could get my magic to reach. That's how I am. That's who I am. When I rule Chairel, I won't be able to help being attacked. It's bound to happen. I will respond accordingly, through waging more wars or otherwise.” I backed up from the railing, standing straight again and stretching my muscles out from their relaxation. “And the whole time, I'll have you and the others there keeping me in check.”
Nyx stood up, and her eyes flicked back to Cerin. “Like we could do much to stop you, Kai.”
I looked to Cerin only to find him sharing a sympathetic glance of agreement with Nyx. The necromancer finally said, “You're looking somber, Nyx.”
The assassin rolled her right hand into a fist and lightly punched her gut. “I'm feeling somber, bud. Theron's been dead for years, but I hear his voice in my head.”
A new ache of anxiety rolled through my stomach. Perhaps Nyx had been voicing all of her concerns to me because of such a feeling like she thought she would die before she got the chance. “Like something bad is going to happen?” I asked her.
“I don't know. Either it's going to happen, or it already has.” Nyx motioned to the left and right of the ship. To the south was Nahara, and to the north was Esen and the looming threat of Glacia. “Who can honestly tell anymore? There's so much shit going on at once that I can't even do anything about feeling this way. It's fucking annoying.”
“One thing at a time,” Cerin murmured, his silver eyes on the ocean ahead. “That's all we can worry about.” Looking to me, he added, “Cyrus wants to see you.”
“Okay.” I turned to the deck, but I was quickly stopped by a hand on my arm. I looked back to see Nyx giving me a smile.
“I love you, bud. Don't let my concerns drag you down. If anything, just know that running around the world causing chaos with our little group of rejects has been so much fun, I never want it to end.” She grinned wider.
“That's the Nyx I know,” I replied, smiling in return as I grabbed her in a quick hug, patting her on the back.
I found Cyrus near the back of the deck, directing soldiers while keeping his blue eyes up ahead. He nodded toward me as I came to a stand beside him and followed his gaze to the ocean beyond.
The opening of the cove was spread out before us, and the waters nearest Chairel were dotted with warships and smaller trading vessels and fishing boats alike. Our navy was thirty ships strong and spread across the seas in three clumps. Surely those in the harbor saw us by now and knew Eteri wasn't sending their ships to play. We were still too far to hear much from the coast, but I felt something metal touch my arm and saw that Cyrus was handing me the binoculars.
“Look at how many ships they have, Kai,” the Sentinel told me, as I lifted the binoculars up to my face. Narangar's harbor was still mostly out of sight from around the bend in the land, but it must have been so full of ships that they spilled out into the surrounding ocean. The right coast held a patch of grasslands before the mountains, and small homes and fishing shacks were lined up along the waterline. Fishing boats started to sail out of the cove and down along both the northern and southern coasts, looking to avoid our attack entirely. They skimmed through clumps of warships that weren't so keen on moving. As the smaller boats left the cove, the galleons started to move into defensive positions, lining up to block the opening in the land with their cannons ready and facing us. I counted at least a dozen warships, which included two battleships like our own. Those were only the ships closest to us, however. Farther beyond in the cove, I saw flashes of green sails as more came to join the others.
“And look at how constrictive the land is around them,” I commented optimistically, still scanning over the scene. “Have you ever seen the actual harbor, Cyrus?”
“Yes. A few times, in battles past,” he replied.
“How many warships could possibly be waiting for us around that bend?”
“Dozens.”
I pursed my lips to the side as I lowered the binoculars, handing them back to him. “Well, that's a few more than I wanted to hear, but we'll fight our way through them. Their navy might be larger than ours, but they can only send them out a group at a time.”
“The same land that restricts them will restrict us,” Cyrus reminded me.
“Yes, but that's really an advantage for us, isn't it?” I countered. “Our army is full of mages. We can pull ships back when they tire and move fresh ones forward. Batter them back with magic.”
Cyrus chuckled. “You are full of optimism.”
“I will see this harbor destroyed, Cyrus. No pessimism can stop me. I've been looking forward to this for a full season.”
“They also have defenses on the harbor itself, Kai. Cannons, ballistae. Both anti-ship and anti-personnel. Our many attacks on Narangar over the centuries have encouraged it.”
“I don't think we'll have to touch foot down on the harbor to destroy it,” I replied.
“What do you have in mind?” He questioned.
“A couple of things, but we're going to have to get this battle started before I figure out which one will work best.” I glanced over the deck, finding the other Renegades and ensuring they couldn't l
isten in. “Some of my plans aren't ones my friends will like, so I hope you'll forgive me if I wait to divulge them to you.”
“If they won't like them, it's highly possible I won't,” Cyrus informed me. “You've mentioned not liking when things are withheld from you. I, too, don't like being kept in the dark.”
“I have a habit of putting myself in great danger to win the advantage, Cyrus. My friends all seek to protect me and don't agree with that. If I decide that's what I want to do, you are the only one I will tell, because I will count on you to have my back and keep them from stopping me.”
When I turned to the Sentinel, I found he had one brown eyebrow raised at me. “Should I be flattered that you trust me enough to request that, or insulted because you think I wouldn't care if you were to die?”
One side of my lips raised. “Would you, Cyrus? Care?”
“Of course I would. I hold all of your Renegades in high regard now that you all have been with us for over a year.” Cyrus's blue eyes were warm in my own as he opened up to me in a rare moment. “Eteri has not held an alliance with anyone for as long as I've fought in this army. I know that none of you but Jakan are Vhiri, but I cannot help but grow as close to you all as I have with my own men.”
That flattered me. “You may be opening yourself up for heartbreak, then, Cyrus. One day, Tilda may decide she is done with me and break any bonds we build.”
The second Sentinel looked away, disturbed by that idea. “Whatever the queen decides is law, but she has no sway over my experiences and memories. Those will always belong to me and me alone. For what it's worth, Kai, I consider you a friend. You can count on me to support you in whatever craziness you have planned, as long as it isn't so crazy that it has no chance of working.”
I nodded at him. “Thank you.”
HUUURRRNNNNN!
The war horn called our attention to the left, where Altan's ship cut through the waves at the front of the navy. From here, all I could see was a head full of bright red hair at the front of the ship, and a flash of creamish-white as the Sentinel lowered his war horn. Altan was revved for battle. While the other Sentinels always liked directing their galleons from the poop deck, every time I caught a glimpse of the fiery first Sentinel, he was so far to the front of the ship it was a wonder he didn't fall overboard.
