by Ashley Erin
“These are amazing.” Lucas shoves his plate to the side. I still haven’t taken a bite.
“Lucas . . .” I stop. How do I even start? How do I explain what he overheard? How much did he even overhear? Lucas clears his throat and chuckles as I flush, realizing I’m just staring at him. “Did I tell you that when I first met Kensi, I didn’t even like her?” Ok, weird place to start.
“No, you didn’t.” Lucas looks a little confused at where I’m going with this.
“It was my first day in the bookstore and they paired me with her. Well you know how Kensi is, she’s really out there. We got into an argument over something. It was so stupid I don’t even remember what it was. Anyways, she ended up betting me that she was right. Whoever won the bet got to dare the other to do something. I lost.
“Anyways, she dared me to walk around the store with a stack of books on my head. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t talk to her for the next three shifts, which was awkward since we were on the schedule every shift. One day Kyle came into the store and I ran and hid in the bathroom. Kensi came in and once again gave me a challenge, she dared me to go out there and go about my business without even acknowledging him.
“She stood there staring me down and I couldn’t say no to her, so I did it. It felt amazing. After that, Kensi and I just clicked. We also came up with an agreement, we had to complete any dare the other challenged us with. The whole point, to get us out of our comfort zone.”
Pausing, I look at Lucas. His expression is neutral, he doesn’t say anything and I can’t read the look in his eyes. Nervously, I draw in a deep breath.
“The dares were always things that we knew the other wanted or would actually enjoy given the chance. I’m not sure what all you overheard that night. The only dares Kensi gave me in relation to you were to push me in the direction I wanted to go, but was too scared. It was meant to give me the push, to leave my comfort zone. Our relationship, everything about it, was not a dare. You are everything I never knew I wanted until I had you.
“That night Kensi and I were talking about something, a step I was scared to take and she dared me to take it. I told her it was too far, I’m guessing you walked in around that time. The thing is, now that I’ve had to see what life is like without you, I’m not scared of that anymore because being apart from you is something I hope I never have to experience again.
“Lucas, I love you. I’ve known this for quite some time but I was too scared to say it first. I . . .” Rambling, I start talking faster, stopping as Lucas stands up abruptly. I can feel the blood drain from my face as fear of him leaving fills me. Fighting it back, I stand too, searching for words to make him stay.
Andie’s eye flick between mine as she stands in front of me, her body angled between the door and me as if she is afraid I am leaving.
Closing the distance between us in one step, my lips meet hers for the first time in too long and we both sigh into the kiss. Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her tightly to me and press my forehead to hers as we stare into each other’s eyes. “I love you too.”
“Oh good. I didn’t really want to tackle you to make you stay.”
“You can tackle me any day you want.”
She giggles, but her expression becomes serious way too fast. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything that night. I froze, I never ever thought you would hurt me, but the words wouldn’t come.”
“I know. It took me a while, but I realized you were scared and by the time I knew it, well, it was too late.”
“The whole time he had me, three thoughts were in my head. I couldn’t give in. I might die, because he would have left me there. Predominantly though, was that I have let my fears rule me for too long and that because of it you would not have known how I feel about you. Then you came storming in. I didn’t know if you were there because you still cared or because Dax asked for your help, but I knew in that moment I would do whatever I needed to make things right.
“I can’t guarantee I will always handle arguments in the best way. I mean I’ve run away, punched you and froze up. I’m a mess. What I can promise is that I will continue to try harder to improve, that I will always do my best and that I will love you with my whole heart.” Andie looks at me, love and determination written over her face.
“I promise to be patient and to give you time when you need it. I love you, that’s all we need.” My thumbs stroke gently over her bruises, the one’s on her face aren’t as bad as I thought, but the finger imprints around her neck are vivid and angry looking. How any father could do that is beyond me. Clenching my jaw, I take deep breaths.
“Lucas, I’m okay.” Andie wraps her fingers around mine and squeezes, helping the anger that was building to fade away.
Movement at our feet followed by soft meows makes us laugh as Luxe and Kona beg to be fed. Andie grabs their food from the cupboard and rations a bit into each bowl, moving them far away from each other.
“Wow, they are like twice the size they were the last time I saw them.”
“Yeah, and Luxe is a complete pig. He bullies Kona out of her food. She needs to learn to stand up for herself.” We watch them silently for a while, Andie pushing Luxe back to his bowl a few times.
“We should do something fun today.”
“What do you have in mind?” Andie winks at me suggestively and while my body likes that idea, I decide to listen to my brain.
“I’ve been brushing up on my Mario Kart skills.” Grinning at her as she bursts out laughing, I lead her into their living room and start setting up the game.
Andie’s phone rings and I leap up to grab it from the table before she can.
She bites her lip when she reads the screen. “It’s my Mom. I didn’t call her last night . . .” She takes a deep breath before answering. “Hi Mom.”
I sit down beside her, handing her a controller as she listens to her mom.
“I’m okay. Yes, I’m going to press charges.” Andie pauses as her mom speaks. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to worry.”
I grab Andie’s hand and squeeze as she listens to whatever her Mom is saying.
“Yes, we would like that . . . Yes, Lucas too . . . Okay, that works . . . Love you too.”
Andie hangs up and picks up her controller, sighing happily as she selects the track.
“Lucas too?” Nudging her carefully, I grin at her.
“Mom and Norman are going to come her for dinner tomorrow night. She wanted to make sure you would be there to so she could meet you.”
“Of course. Want me to invite my family? We could all cram in here. Have an unofficial Christmas dinner?”
“I love that idea, I better text Dax to stop at the store.”
“Let’s play a couple rounds first, I think I can finally kick your ass.”
“You wish.” She laughs and starts a race, fierce determination on her face.
Turning my focus to the game at hand, I smile in pure happiness.
I’m pacing our apartment, nervously waiting for Mom and Norman to arrive. Dax and Lucas sit on the couch, their heads turning as the follow me back and forth.
“Nugget, relax. It will be a good time.”
Taking a deep breath, I sit between them. Twisting my hands together, I nervously wait. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Mom. What if they don’t get along with your parent’s Lucas? Wait! Your parents must hate me!” I hadn’t even thought that Lucas would have told them we broke up and what they must think.
“Andie, they don’t hate you. They are looking forward to seeing you and to meeting the rest of your family. Actually, I need to warn you that Mom may cry when she sees you. She flipped out when I told her what happened.” Lucas pries my fingers apart, squeezing them reassuringly.
A soft knock on the door causes me to jump up. Dax laughs in amusement. “Ok Twitchy, you need to interact with people now.”
Flipping him the bird, I open the door and stumble back as Mom rushes in and wraps her arms around me. “
Oh Honey, I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m so sorry, this is all my fault and I don’t think I’ve ever done enough to make things right.” Mom is rambling as she cries into my hair, holding me close.
“It’s okay, Mom.” And it is. All the things I was hanging onto, the resentment and disappointment, they no longer matter. Looking over her shoulder, I smile at Norman. “Hi Norm.”
“Glad to see you’re okay Andie.”
Pulling out of Mom’s embrace, I lead her inside. She gives Dax a hug and wipes her eyes as she turns to Lucas. “Lucas, this is my Mom, Char. And this is my step-dad, Norman.”
Lucas is chatting with them when I’m pulled into another hug. “Andie, I’m so relieved to see you’re well. Lucas told me you were doing okay, but I needed to see it for myself.”
Ava and Jules both look at me with tears in their eyes. Darren reaches out and rests his hands on my shoulder, winking at me. Noah plows past us and straight for Dax. The look on Jules and Darren’s faces is a mixture of shock and contemplation, I smile inwardly as they appraise Dax.
I make another round of introductions and am glad to see Mom and Norman hitting it off with Lucas’s family. Piling food onto the table, we all crowd into the living room eating and chatting.
“No Kensi?” Mom has only met Kensi a couple of times, but she’s always said she was good for me.
“No, she and Nella both went home for the holidays.” Cringing at the flash of hurt I see cross Mom’s face, I’m glad when Norman whispers to her. I think I see the words ‘baby steps.’ When I think about all of the baby steps I’ve taken this year, I’m so proud of myself, I think I am finally getting to a place where I would actually be an effective helper.
We finish eating, Mom and Jules insisting on doing the dishes.
“Why don’t we play a card game? Noah just learned Go Fish.” Ava suggests.
The rest of the evening is spent playing cards. We switch to Rummy once Noah falls asleep on the couch. It’s the first normal family time I can remember having in years and I am really enjoying myself.
After everyone leaves, I drag Lucas to my room. “You’re sleeping here tonight.” Lucas has gone back to his apartment the past two nights and I’m not sleeping without him for a third one.
“Yes dear.” He winks at me, chuckling when I elbow him playfully.
Shutting the door behind us, I push him onto the bed, kissing him fiercely. “I know you’re worried about hurting me, so I thought of a solution.”
His eyes follow me as I slowly undress, narrowing when he takes in the bruises my clothes usually cover. Distracting him, I slide his shirt over his head. He removes his jeans and boxer briefs in one fell swoop.
As our bodies join, I stare straight into his eyes. Allowing him to see the overwhelming love I feel for him. Every part of this moment is perfect, he makes my heart feel so full. Our bodies moving perfectly in sync.
As I curl into him, sleepy and satiated, I nuzzle into his neck. “I love you so much.” He smiles against me and whispers it back. His fingers tickling my back until I fall asleep.
The morning of Christmas Eve I barge into Andie’s bedroom.
“Do you have skates?”
“Good morning to you too.” Sitting up in bed, she scrunches up her face and I can’t resist wrapping my hand around the back of her neck, lowering my lips to hers. Deepening the kiss when she moans, I cradle her face in my hands.
“So, skates?” Pulling away, I look to where she points in her closet and pull them down. “The weather is perfect today and I thought it would be nice to get outside.”
“Mmmhmmm.” Andie wraps her arms around me, pressing into me as she pries the skates from my hands and drops them to the floor. She starts kissing my neck, grinning against my skin as she feels the bulge in my jeans.
Groaning as she runs her hands up my stomach, I reluctantly pull away. “We better get out of here before skating is forgotten.” She mumbles something about ‘being just fine with that’ and I laugh as she continues grumbling while she gets dressed.
As Andie finishes getting ready, I feed the kittens and tuck one of her Christmas gifts into my coat pocket.
Chuckling as she comes shuffling out, pouting, her eyes dancing in laughter. Grabbing her hand, I spin her and dip her. She’s squealing, clinging to my arms until I pull her up.
“Let’s go.”
“It is too early for you to be so awake.”
“I would just like to point out that it’s after eight, which you said was fair game.” She grumbles, trying to hide her smile from me as we walk to the outdoor rink.
We quickly lace up our skates and step onto the ice. Andie takes off, picking up speed before dragging her foot a little into a spin. I push off to follow her, without the spin, my left foot escaping from under me. Arms flailing, I find myself on my back on the ice.
Andie slides to a stop next to me and looks down before doubling over in laughter. “Are you okay?” She gasps out between laughs.
Smirking at her, I snatch her elbow and pull her on top of me. “I kind of like it down here.” She leans down, kissing me hard, our lips molding together. Too soon, she pulls away and stands up. “It’s been too long since I’ve skated I guess.”
Andie grabs my hand and helps me up, not letting go once I’m standing and we start to slowly skate together. Soon I have my stride back and we race each other, laughing and trying to mess the other up.
Andie grabs my arm as I skate past her, pulling me off balance. As I fall I bring her down with me. “Cheater.”
She opens her mouth to protest but I silence her, my tongue delving into her, thriving on the way she tastes and softens into me. “I have an early Christmas gift for you.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” Arching a brow at her.
“It’s not Christmas yet. We’re supposed to open gifts at your parents tomorrow. It was nice of them to invite Dax along.”
“Don’t change the subject.” I hand her the small wrapped gift, enjoying the way she glares at me.
Removing her gloves, she slowly unwraps it. It’s torture.
She lifts the lid on the small box and picks up the charm centered in the tissue. It’s a simple heart, our initials engraved into it.
“Lucas . . . It’s beautiful.” She slides her sleeve up and hooks it to her bracelet. “Thank you so much.”
“I love you. Now you carry my heart wherever you go.”
“I already do, just as you do mine. It’s perfect. I love you too.”
“We have no classes together. That was poor planning.” Pouting as I compare Lucas’s schedule to mine, he chuckles and tickles my ribs.
“Well that’s what you get for taking far too many psychology classes with Harrison. Do I need to be worried?” Throwing my paper aside, I straddle Lucas.
“Never.”
“Ugh, you two are disgusting.” Kensi makes a gagging motion as she grabs my schedule. “Andie, we have no classes either. I seriously hate you right now. Why so many with that one prof?”
“He’s amazing! If you have a chance, I highly recommend you take at least one of his classes.”
The January semester starts tomorrow and we’ve all decided to have a last day of freedom party in my apartment. Smiling at my group of friends that has grown substantially over the past four months, I am finally free from so much of what held me back.
A court date is scheduled with my father and I am pursuing charging him with assault, harassment and uttering threats. Mom gave me the key he was looking for and I threw it into the river. I can’t wait to tell him. Officer Jackson has assured me that my father should be in jail for at least five years. It’s not a lot, but definitely better than nothing.
Focusing back on the group of people surrounding me, I shake my head as Dax leans into Ava, checking over her schedule.
“Ava, we have an introductory math class together.” Looking up, I see Dax hand Ava back her schedule, a grin on his face.
“Make s
ure he doesn’t cheat off you!” Winking at her as Dax flips me off, slowly moving out of Ava’s space.
Lucas hands me a coke as he settles back beside me.
“You look happy.” He kisses me softly.
“I am happy. Who would’ve thought it would start with you slamming a door in my face.” Lucas’s shocked face makes me laugh.
“I did not!”
“Yes, you did! I was carrying that big ass tote and you didn’t hold the door.” I’m laughing now as everyone tunes in to see what’s so funny.
“I can’t believe I did that. I really was in my own world. What an asshole.” Lucas looks so in awe that he didn’t realize this that I laugh harder.
“That’s what I said! I’m so glad you did close that door in my face. I don’t think things would have worked out quite as they had if you hadn’t. So thank you.”
“Thank you for closing a door in your face?” Lucas looks absolutely flabbergasted now.
“Yes. Thank you for slamming that door in my face, pissing me off and for being my asshole. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
The No Bad Boy Rule is coming soon.
Thank you to all of you for picking up Andie and Lucas’ story. I hope you loved them as much as I do.
I can’t thank my boyfriend, Aaron, enough for all of his help. He makes sure I have a full belly, lots of space and always checks in to see if he can do anything to help my process. I love you.
Golden and Gunnar, you brought Lucas to life and did it impeccably.
Extra special love to Kristi, Lori and Maureen for their support and encouragement.
Of course I need to thank my awesome editor, Jessica. She’s kind of fantastic, but she already knows that.
To my family and friends for sacrificing time with me, or dealing with some absentmindedness when we are together.
Thank you to my street team, Ashley’s Rule Breakers. Your support in spreading the word about me and my books is invaluable.
Thank you to Tami and Kari for making the inside and outside of my books beautiful.
