But she missed him. Missed his ridiculous lists of questions about her pregnancy and his pages of things to be done before the baby was born. Just last night, she’d tucked his daily gift into the home office she was converting to a nursery. The adorable yellow onesie had “My Mommy is the best Mommy in the world” scrawled across the front in baby-style handwriting.
She’d talked to the baby about Michael and how he loved them both. Even if she wasn’t ready to process that yet.
“Just a friend.” The bell on her desk chimed. “Time’s up. Remember, Austin, call me if you feel the grief creeping up on you. Otherwise, I’ll see you next week.”
He rubbed his hands down his jeans and shifted back and forth on his feet. “Thanks, Dr. James.”
After closing the door behind Austin, she flopped onto the couch. Two o’clock, about the time her body screamed for a nap. At least she had an open schedule today. She stretched out on the comfy pillows and thick cushions, just the thing for a short snooze. A few minutes with her eyes closed is all she needed.
But dreams haunted her sleep. Maggie had a baby plopped on each hip and one clinging to her leg. She dragged her foot behind her, tripping over a plastic toy and stubbing her toe on the blasted wooden rocking horse in the corner. The baby on her left hip wore nothing but a diaper, his mouth wide open and a screeching sound filling the room. The one on her right wore a pink shift, but her fist was shoved in her mouth as huge, thick tears rolled down her cheeks.
What was that smeared all over the face of the boy clinging to her leg? And what was that whining sound coming from his mouth?
Mommy? Mommmmmeeeeeeeeeeee—
“Dr. James.” Maggie’s shoulder shook. “Maggie?”
She wrenched her eyes open to find her receptionist standing over her, her lips flattened into a straight line and her brows creased. “Are you all right, Dr. James?”
Maggie blinked a couple of times and pulled herself to a sitting position. Her fingers flew to her hair where she tried to tame the red strands. “Yes, I’m fine. I guess I dozed off for a bit.”
“I’d say. I knocked for several minutes before I finally came in. I was about ready to yell downstairs to the paramedics. I was afraid you’d passed out. You’re next appointment is here.”
“I’m sorry, Kristine. I’ve just been tired recently.”
Her eyes traveled to Maggie’s belly and then back to her face. “I’m sure.”
Did Kristine know? Maggie had tried to keep her pregnancy a secret as long as possible. But the Bennetts knew and Maggie hadn’t asked them to keep it quiet before she’d stormed out of the house. Hell, the entire town probably was in on her secret by now. If so, she could stop trying to stuff herself into clothes that were entirely too small for her.
She’d have to talk to Michael about his family. The sonogram was coming up in a few days. She’d promised they could sit down after she had time to think, but the only thing she’d concluded was that she missed him more than expected. She was no closer, however, to a decision about Michael’s role in her life.
“Thank you, Kristine. Give me three minutes and then send in my next patient.”
Hopefully that would be enough time to wipe the image of three children clinging to her, crying for her, out of her mind. One thing she knew for sure—no way was she having more than one kid.
Chapter Sixteen
“I SEE YOUR five and raise you five.” Joey threw some chips into the pot and gulped his beer.
Michael lifted his cards for the third time, unable to remember what was tucked inside. What in the hell was he doing betting on a two and a four? After another card came around and Lucas upped the ante, Michael mucked his cards. “I’m out.”
“What’s up with you?” Tony chucked some chips into the middle.
“Nothing, just got a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah, how is our favorite redhead?” Joey flung his arms behind his head and leaned the chair back. He’d better not break one of Michael’s new chairs with a stunt like that.
He mumbled under his breath. So far, he’d been able to deflect any questions about their rapid departure from Christmas dinner. But he couldn’t avoid his brothers forever. Besides, the sonogram was coming up, and Maggie might give him a chance to beg her to take him back.
Joey held his hand to the back of his ear. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
Lucas smacked Joey upside the head. “Leave him alone. Can’t you see he’s screwed up already?”
Joey tilted his head and quirked his lips. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I think the vacant look in his eyes and the drool down his shirt are sure signs of woman troubles.”
Michael swiped at his mouth. “Real funny, both of you.”
Tony leaned forward, like he had a secret to tell. It wasn’t that Michael’s life was one big secret. He’d just hoped to avoid this conversation until he could fix things with Maggie. “What happened? I hadn’t heard.”
“Well, Michael sweeps into Christmas dinner with this sexy redhead on his arm—” Joey chuckled and Michael threw Joey a nasty look. “—and at the end of dinner, he announces that she’s pregnant. Our Michael is gonna be a daddy.” Joey pretended to wipe fake tears from his eyes and Michael chucked a dishtowel at him.
“Oh, man. That’s big.” Tony leaned back in his chair.
“But there’s more. Then he announced they were getting married. I’m guessing maybe he forgot to clear that with the redhead, because before we knew it, she stormed out of the house with him hot on her heels.”
Michael squeezed out his words through gritted teeth. “Her name is Maggie. At least you could respect her enough to use her name.”
“What happened, man? I’ve never seen Dr. James get her feathers ruffled like that.” Sawyer popped a pretzel in his mouth like they were chatting about a jaywalker he’d recently arrested instead of the fate of Michael’s entire life.
He’d accepted her need to think after he dropped her off that night. But that hadn’t stopped him from sending her gifts. And he was glad he had. Despite a couple of quick thank you texts, he hadn’t spoken with her. How was she doing? Had her belly grown? Had she felt the baby move again like that day in her condo? He was missing out on so much since she’d shut him out. Sure, he’d screwed up, but she hadn’t even given him a chance to make it up to her. “She, uh, she needed some time to think.”
“Michael Bennett in love and having a baby. Congrats, man.” His brothers and Sawyer were bad enough, but Tony should have the decency to not pile on.
“Who said anything about love?” While he did love her, these cretins didn’t need to know that. “Maggie got pregnant, so I asked her to marry me. A baby should have both of their parents. Does no one believe in a traditional family anymore?”
Tony raised his hands. “Whoa, sorry I said anything. Is that how you proposed, telling her that a baby needs both parents? No wonder she threw you out on your ass. You blew it. Women like to be romanced, man.”
Michael raised his eyebrow. That was what he’d been doing since their fight. It hadn’t gotten him as much as a conversation with her.
A commotion sounded outside. A minute later, the door flew open, and three women fell into the room, giggles filling the air. Evidently, Sarah, Brittany, and Rachel had taken advantage of their poker night to have a girls night of their own. Joey hopped out of his chair and enveloped Brittany in a hug, dipping her back and nuzzling her neck until she dissolved into laughter. Rachel headed right to Sawyer and slid onto his lap, her arms around his neck. She and Sawyer shared a private conversation while Sarah slipped her hand into Lucas’s and rested her head on his chest.
Michael turned to Tony. “Guess us single guys have to stick together, huh?”
“Don’t look at me, man. I’m single by choice. You’re single because you’re an idiot. How come you’re here instead of trying to fix things with your lady?”
“Speaking of which,” Rachel said from her perch on Sawyer’s lap, “w
e tried to invite Dr. James, er, Maggie, out with us tonight, but she said she was too tired. Have you two not made up yet?”
Michael just shook his head. What else could he say? He looked around the table at his siblings, each one happily paired off. The exact thing he’d thought he never wanted and now mourned the loss of.
Tony was right. Michael was an idiot. “Well, you guys have about cleaned me out anyway, and since it appears the poker game is over, I’m going to run a quick errand. Stay as long as you like… last one out lock up when you leave.”
He shoved his keys into his pocket and darted out the door before anyone could stop him. All of that happiness was just too much. Yeah, Rachel’s jaw was probably hanging open and Joey was likely laughing at Michael, but he couldn’t stay and watch the rest of them happy together anymore. Besides, Maggie might need him. She’d gotten most of her energy back before Christmas, so it didn’t make sense for her to be so tired now. She was probably overdoing it at work, like always.
A few minutes later, he found himself pulling into Maggie’s parking lot. He turned off the car and just sat, staring up at her window. The curtains were drawn but a dim light shone from the bedroom. Should he check on her? A quick glance at his watch told him exactly how late it was. Was she still awake or had she fallen asleep early? What he wouldn’t give to be cuddled up against her, her warm curves pressed into him, his hand resting over their child in her belly. If only she’d let him back into her life. He’d apologize, grovel, beg, whatever it took, to make up for his colossal mistake. But none of that would work if she wouldn’t talk to him.
He could start with a text. You awake?
He waited an interminable time before his phone finally dinged. Maybe she really was tired.
Yeah.
Thank God. If she had taken much longer, Michael would have said to hell with her wanting time apart and stormed up the stairs to make sure there was nothing wrong. You all right? Rachel said you didn’t want to go out with the girls tonight.
Three dots flashed on his screen for a long time before a response finally came through. That’s your family. I didn’t feel right about joining. Besides, I’m really tired.
His fingers itched to say that she could be part of his family if she’d just marry him. But he’d agreed to give her space, and that was what he’d do. Even if he didn’t like it. Besides, at this point in time, he’d be happy to have Maggie any way she’d have him.
Was he going about this all wrong? The end goal was Maggie and his child in his life, and he’d lost sight of that in his focus on dragging her down the aisle. Damn tradition. Who said they had to get married at all? I could come by… rub your back or your feet. Whatever you need.
She didn’t need to know he was sitting outside her building right now. He held his breath, waiting for her answer like he was a teenager waiting for his first girlfriend to accept his proposal to prom. That’s sweet but not necessary.
Damn that stubborn streak of hers. It might not be necessary, but he wanted to pamper her. However, his wants weren’t the important ones here. At least she was talking to him. Tell me about your day.
Nothing special… Three dots flashed before she added… Except for this beautiful bouquet of roses delivered to work today.
Michael smiled. A little trite, but they’d had the desired effect, thank goodness. She’d been thinking about him. Oh, yeah, and who may I ask sent those?
This guy I kinda like :)
Another pause while three dots flashed. Whoever came up with the pause bubble had to know how frustrating it was to see those damnable dots while waiting for the words to appear. They’re sitting on my nightstand right now. My entire room smells wonderful.
She hadn’t thrown them out. Progress. I’m glad you like them. We all set for your sonogram?
Are you still coming?
Of course he was going to the sonogram. Just because they hit a bump in the road didn’t mean he was giving up on a future with Maggie. Far from it. Wouldn’t miss it. Can’t wait to see you… and our little girl.
Girl, huh?
He could almost picture the sweet grin on Maggie’s face. Yep, and she’ll have porcelain skin and red hair and these cute little freckles across her nose.
I hate my freckles.
I love them. I especially love finding new ones every time we make love.
*blush*
Her cheeks were probably flaming red right about now. She put on a suit of armor for the world—her slick, professional exterior. But he knew the real Maggie… the one who attacked every bit of her life with an intoxicating passion… but hated housekeeping and cooking. The one who clawed her way through college and grad school and made a good life for herself. Just because she was pregnant didn’t make her anything less than she’d already been. You’re beautiful… and I miss you.
Her next response came quickly. I miss you, too.
He ran his finger over the words on his screen. That was the closest he’d gotten to an expression of emotion since he’d screwed up over Christmas. It was a start, and he’d take it. It was all he could do not to climb out of the car and into her bed, but she needed to take that step, to invite him back into her life. It might kill him, but he’d be patient. He sucked in a deep breath and blew it out, a small cloud forming in front of his mouth from the cold. He hadn’t even noticed the temperature. I should probably let you get to sleep. Sorry to keep you up so late.
I’m not… good night.
Sweet dreams.
They are.
He could only hope that he starred in those dreams. He smiled and turned the key in the ignition. With one last glance at her window, he backed out of the parking spot and headed home.
MAGGIE STEPPED BACK from the curtain. As careful as she was, the fabric still fluttered. Had Michael noticed? She peeked around the edge again just in time to see him pull out of the parking lot. It had just been a guess when he’d started texting her, but a quick glance out the window confirmed it. The entire time they’d texted, he’d been in his car… in her parking lot. Thankfully, he didn’t push to come up because she wasn’t sure she could have said no. When he’d first offered to rub her feet, it was all she could do not to beg. She’d been running around like crazy the past few days, and her feet and ankles were swollen and achy. A massage would have been perfect for her body, but her heart couldn’t take the pressure.
She had almost forgiven him for Christmas. With some time and perspective, she’d figured out where he was coming from. She might not be ready to marry him, but he still needed his family’s approval. Hadn’t she spent half her life wanting that, and the other half trying to convince herself it wasn’t necessary? She may put on a brave front, but at times like this, what she wouldn’t give for a mother to call and ask for advice. Someone to share their own pregnancy stories, to tell Maggie if what she was experiencing was normal.
Maybe she should have joined Rachel and the girls tonight. She could have picked Sarah’s brain about her pregnancy with Lily. Heck, Sarah would even have had some words of advice about being a single mother. Her husband had died more than two years before she met Lucas, and she’d raised Lily alone during that time. Yet she hadn’t shied away from letting another man into her life.
Maggie climbed into bed and Rascal immediately jumped up and curled into her side. A poor substitute for Michael to be sure. “You’ll never leave me, right, Rascal?”
The cat purred and rubbed against Maggie’s closed fist. That was what she loved about Rascal. Strong and independent but also loving and loyal.
She rested her hands over her belly. “Hey, little one. How are you doing tonight?”
As if the baby heard her, a hand or foot pressed against her belly.
“That good, huh? I just talked to your Daddy. Well, not exactly talked. We texted. You’ll learn all about that as you grow up. Your Daddy misses us… and I miss him. I just wish I knew how to trust him. Your Grandma and Grandpa James didn’t have time for me. How can I know that M
ichael won’t feel the same? You’ll never have to worry about that, little one. I’ll always be there, no matter what. I will not leave you with nannies. I will be part of your life. I just don’t know how to make it all work yet.”
Chapter Seventeen
WHERE THE HELL was Maggie? Michael checked his watch for the tenth time in the past five minutes. It wasn’t like there was much traffic in Oak Grove. Had she gotten a late start? Had she broken down on the side of the road? He should have insisted that he drive her. He’d wanted to show her that he respected her independence, so he’d agreed to meet her here.
He’d been wearing a hole in the lobby carpet for the last ten minutes, and she still wasn’t here.
Just then, the door breezed open and Maggie rushed in. Thank God. Her red hair blew long and wavy down her back, a few stray curls whipping across her face.
His fingers itched to tuck it behind her ear, to follow with a gentle kiss on that spot that always made her wriggle. Damn, it had been so long since he’d seen her, touched her. His eyes traveled down her body where her bump was much more pronounced beneath the form fitting green dress she wore under her winter coat. Their baby, their son or daughter, was growing in there. The entire process amazed him. The fact that a woman’s body could stretch and grow to nurture a baby until they were ready to be born. And he was going to be able to see the baby in just a few minutes.
“I’m so sorry I’m late. I had a client session run long.”
“Is everything okay?” The lines between her brows were more noticeable today and her eyes drooped a little. She obviously wasn’t getting enough sleep.
She stretched up and popped a quick kiss on his cheek but backed up before he could wrap his arms around her.
If he didn’t know better, he’d take her kiss for more than just a polite hello. At least she’d greeted him and didn’t appear to be angry anymore. Despite their text messages, he’d missed her with a fierceness he hadn’t expected.
“You’re sweet for asking. Everything’s fine. Are you ready for this?”
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