by t. h. snyder
“Derrick.” She says breaking away from our kiss. “You have no idea how badly I want you right now. Please tell me you want me too.”
I look into her beautiful blue eyes. As much as I want to tell her yes I want you too, I can’t. This isn’t right. I have to stop this now. I’ve been playing a tug a war with my feelings about this for far too long and I have to put an end to this now.
“Trisha, you’re absolutely beautiful and if the rock hard cock in my pants is any indication of how turned on I am right now I would gladly take you back to your room. But, I can’t. What we’re doing is so wrong on so many levels. I’m sure I’ll punch myself for this another day, but we can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
She slides off of my lap and lays her head on my shoulder.
“You’re the first guy that has ever apologized for not wanting to sleep with me.” She says with a giggle. “That Chloe girl, better get her ass in gear fast. If not, soon I won’t take no for an answer.”
I laugh at her comment and swing my arm around her.
“You are amazing. Do you know that?” I ask.
“Yeah? Well if I was so amazing you wouldn’t have stopped us and we would be in my bedroom by now.”
“That’s not it Trisha and you know it. Yes Chloe is still a big part of me, but think about how things would be at work if we did sleep together and then things didn’t work out.”
“I guess you’re right. Thanks for being such a good guy, Derrick. Chloe is one lucky lady.” She says sitting up and walking toward her door.
I get up to follow her and pull her into a hug.
“I know this is lame to say, but we need to still be friends. You’re a rock solid partner and I don’t want to lose that.”
“No worries there Derrick, I’m all yours at the office.”
“Thanks Trisha, see you Monday.” I tell her and walk out to my car.
I feel the sun shining through my bedroom window and the heat of the blaze is blaring against my face. Slowly I open my eyes.
Damn it! I grab my head that has grown its own heartbeat and is currently too heavy to hold up.
The memories of last night come flooding back to me. How could I have done this? Why would I allow myself to go that far knowing the only person I could ever love is not here with me?
I made a mistake and now I have to live with the regret and the pain that it will cause knowing I’ll never be with Derrick again. Any chance I could have with him is gone, how will he ever trust me again? I know we are not together, but still my heart belongs to him…and only him.
Now awake, I sit up in my bed and toss my legs to the right. God I feel like shit, how much did I drink? How did I get home….oh no! Who brought me home?
I stand and stretch remembering exactly what happened last night. Oh shit, I’ll have to face him. I look around my room for a t-shirt and I see a pile of clothes lying on the floor.
Fucking hell Chloe, these are not your clothes. I sit back down on the bed wearing only a tank top and boy shorts clutching my head in my hands.
Damn it! How could I have been so weak?
I mean he’s extremely attractive, built like a fitness model, gorgeous bright green eyes that hide behind his rough exterior and dark…dark hair. Oh no I hung onto that hair like my life depended on it. Shit! Andrew Lock has been trying to get in my pants for over four months now and he almost had his chance last night.
It was all so wrong, it never should have happened. But it did and now I have to look him in those amazing green eyes soon, very soon.
I guess I could act like nothing happened. Can I? Will he?
With my eyes barely open I manage to make it into my bathroom to take a hot shower. I grab up my iPhone and listen to some music on my favorite Pandora channel hoping the music and the water will help me feel better I turn the temperature as hot as the pipes will allow. I take off my boy shorts and tank top and pull my hair down from my pony tail.
I step into the shower and emerge my entire body under the scolding hot water. It hurts so bad it feels good. A sound of relief moans past my lips as the pressure of my headache slowly releases. Reaching for the mango scented shampoo my body tenses as I feel a hand on my back and another closing the shower door.
My body turns to face a broad naked chest. I look up and see sparkling green eyes slowly being eaten away by black pupils screaming desire. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him so that we’re skin to skin. This is too much. I’ve never touched another man like this other than Derrick. It feels so wrong.
I begin to say something, but before I can say a word his lips crash down onto mine. His lips are just as soft as I remember them from last night. He tastes like coffee and vanilla. I’m so consumed in this moment with him that any other thought is slipping from my grasp. As much as I want to believe this is wrong, right now it feels so right.
Andrew pulls me in closer to him so that my nipples are hard against his body. I moan at the feel of his skin against mine and my mouth opens. He doesn’t take the invitation for granted and slides his tongue into my mouth. In this moment I throw out all morals and kiss him back. The feel of his mouth on mine and my tongue sliding against his is hypnotizing. I begin to lose my balance from my lack of control and he’s picking me right back up against him. I tie my hands around his neck and enjoy the ride of lust we’re traveling. His tongue leaves my mouth and begins to trail kisses along my jaw leading down to my collarbone.
Feelings I haven’t felt in too long begin to surface and my pussy aches for him to touch me more. His hands begin to roam from my mid back down to my hips. He squeezes the hot flesh of my ass and I let out a moan of pleasure.
I pull away from the kiss gasping for a breath. His green eyes stare into mine and I take a step back. He reaches his arm out to grab mine and the feel of his rough hands pulls me out of my trance. The calluses he has on his throwing hand and fingers remind me so much of Derrick’s when he played football in high school and college.
“Andrew we can’t, I can’t.” I say, trying to avoid eye contact.
He touches my chin with two fingers and angles my face so that I’m looking up into his eyes.
“Chloe, we can do this. You can do this. I’ve wanted you for far too long. It’s time to let go of the past and move forward with your life. Babe, I can be here for you.”
Andrew says this with all the sincerity he can muster. I look up into his eyes. Between the pelting hot water and the heat looming between us my body and mind are taken into another world. As much as I love Derrick and wish things were different, Andrew is right. He is the one that is here for me right now. His body is the one that is touching mine.
I need to feel the way Andrew makes me feel. Derrick hasn’t touched me, cared for me or loved me for months. Andrew is right, I need to let go of the past and move forward.
I can do this.
I want to do this.
“Oh god Andrew. You make me feel things that…”
He stops me right there and grab me up into his arms. Smashing his lips against mine our tongues join together in such an intimate way. I may not be able to have sex with this man right now, but I sure as hell want him to touch me.
“Please Andrew.” I pant.
“I know babe, let me make you feel good.”
He turns off the water and lifts me from the shower carrying me into my room. I can feel his hard erection pressing against my bottom and I’m getting wetter by the minute.
Andrew lays me down on the bed and my wet hair clings to my back. He takes his hands and runs his fingers from the top of my collar bone down to my toned stomach. The feel of his touch is creating goose bumps wherever he leaves a finger print.
Watching as his body is hovering over mine, I tremble with anticipation.
His lips and hands are all over my body. I look down and watch as he kisses each nipple taking them one at a time in his mouth. As he sucks and licks my breast the ache in my core increases. I can tell he is aroused as well and
I feel the need to touch him.
As I stretch my arm to reach down for his length my phone begins to ring. I’m pulled out of my moment of lust and look down into his eyes.
Do I get up and answer the call? Do I ignore it and continue along with our moment of foreplay?
I choose the latter choice and reach to touch him again. This time it’s not my cell that starts to ring, but my iPad chiming with an incoming Skype call.
Knowing there are only two people that have ever used Skype with me, I push Andrew away and lift my body into a seated position.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get this. It’s an emergency if the call is coming through here.”
“I understand, get to it.” He says rubbing my arm.
I run into the bathroom and scoop up my robe, quickly putting it on I tie the strings in a knot. I make my way back out to my bedroom and grab the iPad moving into the living room for some privacy.
The Skype call was coming from Derrick’s cell. I push the return call button and within on a few short rings I see his face.
“Derrick.” I say barely in a whisper.
“Chloe, I’m sorry I’m calling you like this but you didn’t answer the call I made to your cell.” His voice is hoarse as if he is upset.
“Derrick, it’s fine. What’s wrong? Why are you out of breath?”
“Chloe, it’s Char. She and Riley have been in a terrible accident.”
My hand flies to my face as I gasp at his words. I think my heart just stopped.
“So are you sure about this man?” I ask looking at Riley while he paces my living room.
“Of course I’m sure dumbass.” He replies running his fingers through his hair.
“Well if my opinion matters I think you have planned a wonderful evening little brother. Char is lucky to have you.” Emma says in a sincere tone.
“Thanks a lot Emma, I feel so much better now.” Riley says falling into the couch.
“I don’t understand why you’re so worked up about this. You two already act like a married couple. It’s not like she’s going to say no.”
“Fuck you Derrick. Of course she isn’t going to say no. I just want tonight to be perfect for her. She means the world to me and I want this to be a night she’ll remember forever. This is the kind of thing she’ll tell our kids and grandkids about. I don’t want to blow it.”
The poor guy has been sick to his stomach since Char left for the day at the spa with Angie and Ruthie. I know exactly how he feels. I felt the same way the day I was set to propose to Chloe. I just hope his night turns out better than mine did.
“Look why don’t you run home, get some running gear on and head to the park with me and Emma. Maybe the fresh air and a good five miles will lift your spirits before the big night.”
“Yeah, I’ll be right back.” Riley says and walks out the door with Manny in tow.
Emma and I just look at each other, shrug our shoulders and start to laugh.
Riley has got it bad for Char. They may have fallen fast for one another, but in the time they’ve been together they’ve grown so much as individuals. I’m happy for both of them. He just needs to calm the hell down before he gives himself a heart attack at a young age.
Thank god he has agreed to come along with us for a run. He can slam the pavement with his running shoes to release some of his nerves. Within a few hours Riley and Char will be a happily engaged couple and we’ll all be meeting them for drinks afterwards at Callahan’s Pub.
Emma and I make our way out to my car in the driveway waiting for Riley. Once we see him walking in the distance we both get in and buckle up.
“Let’s hope this run clears his nerves. Otherwise I’ll have to give him a valium before they leave.” Emma says with a laugh.
“Nah, he’ll be alright. He just needs to get through with it and everything will be fine.”
Riley gets into the front seat and lets out a huge sigh.
“Thanks man, this was a good idea. I need to go for a good run to get this shit out of my system.”
He pulls down on the rim of his hat and slaps me on the back.
Last one done with the five miles buys drinks for the other two tonight.
“Deal!” Emma and I shout in unison.
Once we get to the park the three of us shuffle out and line up along the trees. The plan is to run through the park and meet back here. I know for sure I can take Emma, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to out run Riley, surely not in the mood he is in right now.
“Okay assface, let’s see if you can beat me. On your mark, get set, go.” Riley shouts as we all take off in a sprint.
The next 45 minutes feel fucktasitic. I guess I needed this run more than I thought. The weather is perfect and it’s just early enough that the sun isn’t beating down on our bodies. By the time I get back to the car I’m dying of thirst. I pop open the truck and grab out three waters.
Riley comes walking around the car with a smirk on his face. It sucks that he beat me, but at least I’m not the one paying for us to get drunk tonight. I hand him bottle of water and watch as Emma approaches us.
“You both suck, don’t even say a word.”
Riley and I just look at each other, laugh and get in the car.
After we get home Riley makes his way back to his house to get ready for the big proposal, Emma says she has stuff she has to do and will catch up later which leaves me all by my lonesome.
Story of my fucking life lately, I just wish I could get her out of my mind. It’s been four months since I’ve seen or spoken to her. I head up to my room and decide to take a shower and a nap before I have to get ready to meet up with the crew at the pub.
I wake up from my nap to a banging on my bedroom door.
What the fuck.
I glance over at my alarm clock and I see it’s 6:30.
Shit I never sleep that long during the day.
I get out of bed and head over to the door. As I open it Emma falls into me crying.
“Emma, what’s wrong. Why are your crying?”
“Oh my god Derrick, hurry get dressed we have to go.” She says between sobs.
“Slow down Emma, what’s going on?”
“It’s Char. There was an accident. We need to go to her. Now!”
“Okay, okay Emma. Let me get dressed and we will go.”
“Oh Derrick, you have to call Chloe. Teresa and Bryce are on their way to the hospital.”
Fuck! I have to call Chloe.
While I attempt to throw on a tee-shirt and shorts I dial Chloe’s cell.
“Damn it, she’s not answering.”
“You have to keep trying. She has to pick up eventually.” Emma yells at me.
“Go into the office and grab my briefcase. I’ll Skype her.”
Emma comes back into my room and I’m dressed ready to go. I sit down on my bed and pull up the Skype app on my iPad. I hoover over her picture and within two seconds find the balls to push it.
The line chimes a few times and finally I see her face on the screen.
“Derrick.” She says in a whisper.
“Chloe, I’m sorry I’m calling you like this but you didn’t answer the call I made to your cell.”
“Derrick, it’s fine. What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”
“Chloe, it’s Char. She and Riley have been in a terrible accident.”
Getting a flight back to Boston was the easy part. It was getting me up off the floor after Derrick told me the news. I felt numb from my head to my toes. Not only was I in a state of shock, but I wanted to trade places with Char more than anything.
As soon as I ended the Skype call I looked into the hallway and saw Andrew standing there. He didn’t hesitate for a second and walked right over to me. Scooping me up into his arms he sat us down on the couch and helped me book my flight. I’m glad I wasn’t completely alone when I got the news. It helped a lot having him there, but leaving him in LA was hard. I think more on him than me. He offered to fly back to Boston wi
th me, but I told him that it would be best for me to go back home alone.
Seeing my baby sister hurting is going to be hard, but seeing Derrick and not talking to him will be next to impossible.
I’m still in shock and I hate that it’s going to take me eight hours to get home. My poor baby sister, why her. She’s never done a hurtful thing to anyone in her life. Char would rip the shirt off her back to help a stranger. She has to be okay. I’m a ball of nerves and no one has called me since I text mom my flight itinerary. She said someone would be there to pick me up, but she wasn’t sure who. I told her not to worry about sending me a ride. I could just grab a cab to the hospital. Everyone in Boston is probably a frantic mess and the last thing I want is for someone to leave to come and get me.
I lean forward and place my head in my hands. I have a ball of tissues in one and my cell in the other. My head is pounding either from the alcohol I drank last night or all the crying I’ve done this morning. I could really use a cup of coffee and some pain medicine to help curb this headache. Looking up I see that there’s a Starbucks near the gate. I glance at the time on my iPhone and see that I still have an hour till they will start boarding our plane. Since I have plenty of time I make my way over to get in my caffeine fix and then to the newsstand for some Ibuprofen.
I get to the gate and take a seat with my hot coffee, muffin and bottle of water. This should help at least I hope it will. I feel my phone vibrate and I see I have a text from mom. I slide the lock screen and when I read the message it’s actually from Derrick.
Mom – Chloe it’s Derrick. Teresa isn’t in any shape to call you so I thought I would just send a text through her phone. Char’s not good Chloe, things aren’t looking good.
My breath catches and I almost choke on the muffin I just put in my mouth. I don’t know how to respond, to be honest I don’t want to talk about this over a text message.
After thinking it over a few minutes I gather up the courage to call Derrick’s cell. I don’t know why he was using mom’s cell to begin with, but with her being so upset I really don’t want to call her phone and bother her. I make my way over to a corner in the room and dial his number.
