by t. h. snyder
“Okay, Riley, and please tell me they’ll be okay.”
I rush down the stairs, grab for my purse and toss my cell phone into my pocket as I make my way out into the garage. My hands are shaking as I push the start button in my car.
Slowly, I try to regain my composure as I attempt to back out of my garage and down the long windy driveway without running into anything. A million things are running through my head as I drive over to General Pines Hospital.
I just spoke to Mama this morning. She sounded happy and excited to see us all for dinner tonight. This can’t be happening.
A loud ringing sound triggers my attention and I see Keith’s name appear on the car’s navigation screen. I push the hands-free button on the steering wheel and answer his call.
“Hello?” I answer in between sobs.
“Em, baby, are you okay? Riley just called, and I’m on my way, but it may take me a bit longer to get there coming from the office.”
“Keith, I need you there with me!” I cry out.
I hear him let out a breath of air.
“I know, Em, I’ll get there as soon as I can. Riley’s there now and will meet you right outside the ER. Drive safe, baby, and just know that I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The line disconnects and I watch the town of Greensboro pass me by as I fly through the streets.
I need to be there; I have to give them the strength and support to be okay.
Oh God, if anything were to happen to my parents I don’t know what I’d do.
Pulling into the medical complex of General Pines, I navigate myself with each sign leading me to the ER entrance. I pull up to the emergency room parking lot where I can see Riley standing outside waiting for me as I pull into an empty front row spot. He comes running over to my car and opens the door.
“Riley, what do you know?” I ask, stepping out of my car.
“I don’t know much of anything yet. I received a call about an hour ago saying they were in an accident and were being flown here by the Medicopter. You were the next call I made. When I got here I checked in with the triage nurse, but they hadn’t gotten here yet. Actually, they should be landing any moment. Let’s get inside and see if the nurses have any updates to share with us.”
I nod my head and lean into my little brother. Thank God I have him here with me right now; I need all the strength and support I can get until I hear both my parents are going to be okay.
Together we walk through the automatic entry doors of the ER. The smell of the hospital hits my senses as soon as we walk in and my eyes immediately go to a doctor walking toward us.
“Hi, are you Riley Kincaid?” He asks extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Patrone.”
“Yes, I’m Riley Kincaid and this is my sister Emma McIntyre. Have our parents arrived yet?” Riley asks the doctor.
“The Medicopter is due to land any minute, but I wanted to come down and find you before they arrived. You are more than welcome to come up to the trauma center and wait in the visitors lounge until we know more about your parents’ wellbeing.”
“Excuse me, Dr. Patrone, is there anything you can tell us about our parents. Are they okay, will they be okay?” I ask as the panic begins to take over my emotions.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. McIntyre, but I don’t have anything reassuring to share at this time. Once they arrive and we get them into surgery we’ll be able to determine the severity of their injuries.”
“Surgery!” I scream.
Riley pulls me in tighter against him and I begin to sob into his shirt.
“Shh, Em, let’s just head upstairs with the doctor and wait to see what they can tell us once Mom and Dad get here.”
I pull away from my brother and look into his hazel eyes filled with tears. I nod and follow the doctor through the ER and toward the elevator.
The silence between us is driving me mad as we make our way up to the sixth floor.
Riley grabs onto my hand and escorts me off the elevator and into a white-walled hallway, leading us to the waiting area. The doctor turns to face us and shakes both of our hands.
“As soon as I know anything I’ll come out or send a nurse to speak with you two.”
“Thank you, Dr. Patrone, we’ll be fine out here. Just take care of our parents,” Riley says.
The doctor exits the waiting area and I begin to pace in the empty room. I look over to my brother and see that he’s taken a seat in one of the chairs.
“Come on over and sit down. You’re driving me nuts walking around like that.”
“Riley, I’m a nervous wreck. I can’t sit down right now. I wish Keith was here with us. I need him to be here with me.”
“I know, Em, but right now there’s nothing any of us can do.”
Ugh, I hate not having control over moments like this. No matter how many prayers I chant in my head, my parents’ health is at stake and there’s nothing I can do about it.
For the next few moments I continue to pace and stare out the window facing the parking lot.
I hear the automatic doors open and see a team of white coats approaching me and my brother.
I walk toward the entrance of the lounge and Riley comes to my side.
“Mr. Kincaid, Mrs. McIntyre. I’m Doctor Phillips, Chief of the Trauma Unit at General Pines. I hate to meet you both under these circumstances, but I have news regarding your parents. Please, have a seat,” he says, motioning to the chairs behind us along the wall.
Riley grabs onto my hand and leads me to a seat.
“Your parents were part of an eight car pile-up involving a tractor trailer on highway 40. The medics had to use the Jaws of Life to remove them from the vehicle and they were immediately flow to our hospital for care. Our team of surgeons was on standby awaiting their arrival due to the severity of their injuries.”
The doctor stops for a moment and I can feel the blood draining from my face. Even though he hasn’t told us the news, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest. Riley wraps his arm around my shoulders and I begin to sob uncontrollably.
“I’m so sorry to tell you that before the Medicopter landed, both of your parents passed away in flight. The injuries they sustained impacted their spinal columns and their internal organs, causing them to bleed internally. There was nothing the doctors on the copter could do to save them. I know how painful this may be to hear, but I can assure you that they passed away without any pain. They were unconscious when the medics arrived at the scene. I’m so sorry for your loss. If you’d like to come back to the OR and see them, the nurses will escort you back in a few minutes.”
I turn into my brother’s body and let my emotions take over. This has to be a dream—it can’t be happening to us. Our parents were two of the most caring, loving and supportive people in the world. Why would they be taken away from us like this?
Riley’s body begins to shake and I can feel the tears he’s trying so desperately to hold in. I know he’s only trying to be strong for me, but he needs to grieve as well.
“We’ll give you two a few moments to yourselves and a nurse will be out to get you momentarily. Again, I’m so sorry for the pain you must be feeling.”
I watch as the team of doctors leaves the room and my head falls onto my brother’s arm.
My heart begins to ache and the pain flowing through my veins is unbearable.
“Riley,” I say pulling away from my brother and looking up into his eyes, “I can’t believe this is happening. I just spoke to Mama this morning, and if I’d have known this was going to happen I would have told them to stay home. I should have told her to stay home,” I cry.
“Em, nothing you could have said or done would have prevented this from happening. As much as I hate to say this, even the stupidest, most painful fucking things happen for a reason. I know the news we just heard is unbearable right now, but we need to lean on each other. I can’t take it away or make it better for you, but I will be here for you to mourn, grieve and remember every memory
we’ve shared with them. I can’t even begin to think about anything else right now. I want them to be here so badly, but they’re not, and we need to remember them…everything about them together.”
I hear the words coming out of my brother’s mouth, but honestly, it’s not sinking in. I can’t believe this is happening. I just wish it was all a bad dream and Keith’s alarm is going to go off and wake us up.
I close my eyes and rest my head on my brother’s shoulder as I continue to cry for the loss of my parents—my dad, my mom and my best friends. Through closed eyes I can picture every moment I’ve shared with them since I was a small girl. Just about every memory I have with them was happy. Together, they were a dynamic duo wanting to bring happiness to just about every person they met.
My father had the most caring demeanor. No one would ever have a hurtful thing to say about him. Ugh, it hurts so bad to know that they’re gone. Riley and Dad were doing so well with the business and I was beyond proud at how far they’d come in such a short amount of time. They were going to take over the east coast with RPK Contracting. How will we as a family, or the business, ever be the same without them? My mama was the sweetest woman in the world. I looked up to her for so many things. She was always there for us no matter how silly, dumb or crazy we made her. She was proud of her family and did everything she could to keep us close.
Riley pulls me in tighter against him as the tears cascade down my cheeks. I open my eyes to the sound of the elevator doors opening.
Keith comes running into the waiting area and I jump to my feet rushing toward him.
“Have you guys heard anything?” he asks.
I nod my head into his chest while the tears fall and my sobs become louder.
“Oh babe, tell me. What did the doctors say?” he asks in a soft tone, rubbing his hands up and down my back.
“They’re gone, Keith. Mom and Dad are gone, we’ve lost them forever.”
Keith moves us over to the chairs and I fall into his lap. I sit with him like this for a few moments until the nurse comes in to take us into see our parents.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I tell Riley and Keith.
“Yes you can, Em. We need to do this together and we will. You have both of us here to help and support you.”
I grab onto the hands of my brother and my husband and move into the trauma rooms to say our goodbyes to our mom and dad.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, I sip on a mug of coffee. I turn my head to look out the window and see that the sunshine is starting to pull through the clouds.
A smile creeps across my face, and for a moment I feel hopeful. It’s the first time I’ve felt like this in a few days.
The pain of losing my parents is still a constant ache in my heart. Every day I wake up hoping to hear my mom’s voice one more time or have my dad pull me into his arms.
I miss them so much.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life as we laid them to rest in our family’s cemetery plot. Riley and Keith were a huge help getting all of the arrangements in order, but the whole planning thing took a lot out of me. There were times I would break down into full sobs in front of a distant family member or the funeral director, but Keith kept reminding me that it was all part of the healing process and everyone understood what I was going through.
Today is going to be even more of a mess; at least it will be in my opinion.
We have an appointment with my parents’ lawyer for the reading of their will. The last thing I want to deal with is who gets what, but at the same time there are so many finances that we have to go through and get in order before the phone calls start coming our way. Keith and Riley have been dealing with the business end of things and I know we have to decide what to do with the house and a few of their other properties and possessions.
I haven’t stepped foot in their house or RPK Contracting since the accident. I just can’t get myself to do it.
I hear Keith’s footsteps coming down the stairs and feel his hands running up and down my back.
“Hey, babe,” he says in a cheery tone.
I almost want to blurt out, ‘why the fuck are you so happy?’, but I know it’s not appropriate and the wrong thing to do.
“Hey,” I respond.
I watch as he pulls out the chair next to me and sits down. He turns my chair to face him and brings my hand in his. Looking at me with his grey eyes and a smile on his face, I can’t help but give him a half smile in return.
“Do you remember when I told you that big things were going to happen for us, babe?”
I shrug my shoulders, not really giving a shit what the hell he’s talking about.
“Come on, Em, I told you a few weeks ago that I was working with some guys at the club, remember?”
“I’m sorry, Keith, but I really don’t remember. There’s just a lot on my mind right now. Besides, how do you have time to work on a project with the guys when you and Riley have your hands full with RPK Contracting?”
“Don’t worry about that. Something huge just fell into my lap and it’s going to make our lives so much better, you’ll see.”
“Okay, Keith, if you say so, but for now we need to get going. Riley is meeting us at the attorney’s office and I honestly just want to go and get this over with. Dealing with Mom and Dad’s estate is not something on my list of favorite things to do.”
He leans forward and kisses me on the forehead.
“Don’t worry, babe, things are about to change, and I promise you everything will be taken care of and we’ll be in good hands.”
He gets up from his chair and scoots it in under the table.
“Oh, by the way, once all of this is squared away today, I think you and I should think about what role Riley will be taking on in the business. Honestly, he’s still really young to be leading a business like RPK Contracting. He’s made a few pretty big errors in the past few weeks and I don’t want to jeopardize the reputation of your father’s business to a kid.”
Oh my God, he’s acting like such a douche bag.
“Keith McIntyre, how dare you suggest that Riley would do anything to hurt my father’s business? The two of them worked their asses off to make that place what it is today,” I reply with a tone of disappointment.
I watch as Keith turns around with a scowl on his face.
“Em, this is not the time to be having this argument. All I was saying is that we don’t want a young kid like him with no experience in the business world running things. Your father established a reputable business, we can’t jeopardize that. I’m just trying to look out for RPK and allow it to grow like your dad would have wanted.”
I look over to him and nod my head, “I guess you’re right. I love my brother and I know he’d never do anything to intentionally hurt the business, but perhaps we need to look into some other options. Let’s just go to the will reading and we can take things from there, okay?”
“Sounds good, baby, let’s go.”
I get up from the table and place my mug in the dishwasher. Keith is already standing at the door with my purse and phone in his hands. I understand that this isn’t a hug loss to him, they weren’t his parents after all, but he really could tone down his level of excitement. We’re going to my parents’ will reading, not a party.
I follow Keith out the door and into his truck. He opens the passenger’s side door for me and I grab onto the handle and step onto the running board to get in. He shuts the door as I fasten my seat belt and wait for him to get in.
As we pull down the driveway I close my eyes and rest my head back on the smooth leather seat.
I don’t know how much more energy I have, let alone if I even have the strength to get through another day.
Keith reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers.
“I got you, babe, I promise. I told you we’d be okay and I’m keeping my word. One more day of going through this stuff and you won’t have to worry about any of it ever again.”
<
br /> He looks over at me and smiles.
I don’t understand him. How can he be so sure of himself and act like the pain I have will go away? I lost my fucking parents for Christ’s sake and he acts like I just got my wisdom teeth pulled out.
I don’t have it in me to argue right now; I can’t even muster an emotion or something to say in response to him. I just want to get to the attorney’s office and see my brother. Riley understands how I feel and what I’m going through right now. Keith on the other hand, well, I have no clue what the hell he’s thinking.
We pull into the office complex and I spot Riley’s Durango as soon as we pull into our spot. I don’t even wait for Keith to come around and let me out. I open the door, hop down onto the pavement and rush to my brother.
Riley pulls me to him and squeezes me into a hug.
“Em, what’s wrong? Are you crying?” he asks.
He tries to pull me away to look at me, but I won’t budge.
“What happened?” he asks.
“I don’t know. She was fine on the way over here,” Keith interjects.
I pull away from my brother and glare at my husband.
“No, I wasn’t fine on the way over here, Keith. I’ve been a mess for the past week, but you continue to brush my parents’ death under the rug like it’s nothing. You have no idea how I feel or what it’s like to lose a parent. I miss them more today than the day I found out they were dead. I’m not okay today and I won’t be for a very long time. I’d rather have my mom and dad here with me than anyone else.”
My emotions take over me and I fall to the pavement in a fit of tears. Riley immediately bends down to me and pulls me back up alongside of him. He wraps his arm under my arms so that I can’t collapse to the ground again.
“Em, I know this sucks right now, believe me I feel it, too. We have to get through this stuff together so that we can move forward with the things that were most important to Mom and Dad. I miss them, too, and I know they’d want us to be strong. Can you be strong for me, for them?”
I tilt my head up to look into his hazel eyes. I know he’s hurting just as much as me, if not more. He’d been Dad’s partner in crime since he was a little kid. It’s as if our second half was taken away from us and we have this huge empty spot to fill. No one can understand the pain we feel like we do.
