Colton searches my eyes, and I can see the conflict raging inside him. He seems like he wants to speak, but I’m just getting warmed up.
“God, Colton, we make a million tiny decisions every single day, and we have no idea how most play out in the long run. Tiny little decisions that seem so insignificant, but can have huge consequences under the right circumstances. Some can end up really bad. And some end up being unexpectedly amazing. You’re not to blame for all the stuff that’s out of your hands. You’re not responsible for the deaths of three people, when it clearly wasn’t your fault! But if you tell yourself you don’t deserve happiness because you are a monster, that is a decision you are making, a choice that is in your hands… and well, it’s a really shitty decision!”
I put my hands on my hips and focus on him. “Do you really think they’d want this for you? Do you think Annalise, and especially your parents would want you wasting your life blaming yourself for things that were out of your control and not your fault?”
His eyes stay fixed on me like a laser. “Jesus Christ, maybe you really should’ve become a lawyer,” he mumbles.
I slowly shake my head. “I’m not naïve enough to think my words will heal your hurt,” I say softly. “You still have to live with what happened. But it doesn’t mean you are bad or evil. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to forgive yourself and move on. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved.”
He’s quiet. He looks at the ground for several long moments, then finally back at me.
“I’m really sorry I had to dump all this on you,” he says. “But I made a promise. I’m sorry.”
I tilt my head. “What kind of promise?”
His mouth twists into a half-smirk. “Willie. He’s the only one here who knew the truth. And for some reason he was adamant that I tell you. Made me promise. Just a few nights before he died, actually,” he adds quietly.
I look him square in the eye and reach for his hand. “I’m glad you told me. I wish you had sooner. Your suffering is not a burden to me. I care about you and would do anything in my power to take even some of your pain away. Anything.”
“Why?” he whispers.
“Because I love you,” I say simply. The words come out easily and naturally, and I don’t for one second regret saying them. They’re true, in spite of everything.
He stares at me, his eyes wide. I don’t look away.
“How is this possible?” he whispers. “How is it possible that the girl of my dreams shows up out of the blue and is standing here looking at me like this, even knowing everything about me, and still tells me she loves me? How is this possible?”
I slide my arms around his waist, as we seek the solace of each other’s embrace. Then I look up at his beautiful face and smile.
“Fate.”
Chapter 32.
We stand here in the enchanting autumn forest, surrounded by the ghosts of loved ones. Something has changed between us. Something profound. It feels both exhilarating and terrifying to have him holding my heart in his hands.
“I don’t want you to ever leave me,” he says, tracing the side of my face with his fingers. “But I know one day soon you will. You deserve so much better, even if you don’t realize it right now.”
I shake my head and frown at him. “Why do you say that? Why do you think I want to leave?”
“How does a girl like you… someone who is in magazines and hanging with governors and movie stars… what would a girl like that want with someone like me, in a place like this?” Colton asks, lifting his arms out wide.
My chuckle is a mix of disgust and amusement as I shake my head again. “You saw that stupid magazine with my bridal layout, didn’t you. How?”
He squints and glances away. “Saw it in a waiting room somewhere. Couldn’t believe it… thought I was imagining things.”
“None of that was real. It was all a lie, an illusion. What I have here, with you, is more real than anything I ever had then.”
He looks at me, and I again see the conflict in his eyes. But I’m emboldened by something else I see as well. “Besides,” I say quietly. “I’m not the one who’s been doing the leaving… you’re the one who seems to disappear on me.”
Colton bites his lip and nods. “Yeah… I know. Sometimes I just need to get away. There’s a place I go, a place my dad and I used to go camping and fishing. I like spending time out there alone, riding my bike like I used to.”
“I was worried about you.”
He looks down at me through his lowered lashes. “I’m not used to having someone worry about me.”
“It sort of comes with the loving someone territory.” I smile again, and his eyes light up.
“You really think you love me?” he asks quietly.
“I know I do.”
“Don’t see how that’s possible,” he murmurs. “I saw those pictures, what they wrote about you and that guy you were supposed to marry… the kind of world you come from. The money, the power… that’s the kind of life you deserve.”
“Oh… okay. So just let me get this straight, what you think I deserve. I deserve a guy who avoids me when I’m sick and who ridicules my passion for art. I deserve a life with a man who is in love with someone else, a man who choked me and slammed me against a wall when I discovered his secret, and stood by as his lover threatened my life twice. A world built on lies and deceptions and loneliness… that’s the life you think I deserve?”
Colton tilts his head to the side and studies me. “I didn’t realize it was like that.” His eyes blaze. “He hurt you?”
“…Because I think I deserve a guy who wakes me up in the middle of the night to make sure I’m okay. One who gives me a huge truck instead of a fancy sports car because it’s safer. A man who offers to make cookies with me instead of asking if I really should be eating them. A man who supports my art and helps me make my dreams come true instead of telling me it’s a waste of time. A man who looks at me with more genuine passion than I’ve ever known in my life. Because that’s what I think I deserve.”
I look at him, and give him a playful smirk. “It’s just a shame you’re so dammed unattractive. Oh well… can’t win ‘em all.”
He starts laughing and pulls me close.
“And if you’re wondering what I’m doing in a place like this,” I continue, looking in his eyes. “Well, it’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen by a freakin’ longshot. So I hope that answers your questions, Colton Lassiter.”
He lowers his mouth to mine for a kiss. “It does, Cadence St. Claire. It does.
*****
We wander through the woods, slowly making our way back to the house. It’s too bad that we missed so much of Willie’s reception, but we’re pretty sure he’d understand. I could stay out here with Colton forever, but we actually have to get back for the reading of the will. Sheldon had informed me yesterday that my presence was requested. It seems a little weird considering I’m not a relative. But I’m glad he considered me a friend, and I would love it if he gave me one of his ‘animals’— something to remember him by.
Colton and I round a bend, and the Manor in all its glory comes into sight.
“Wait a second, I just want to admire this view for a moment,” I say.
Colton leans down and tickles my cheek with his lips. “So do I,” he whispers, stroking my hair.
“I never want to leave here,” I whisper. He looks at me.
“I hate myself for telling you to go.” His eyes soften. “Please don’t go. You’re the only person I want here with me. I want to wake up with you and kiss you and touch you whenever I want. I want to look out the window and see you painting in the garden, or walk into the kitchen and see you there.”
His voice lowers as he wraps me in his arms again. “I want to make love to you every morning and night. I want to kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are a thousand times a day.”
I smile and raise my eyebrows, and he chuckles. “Okay… that may have
been a bit overboard, but you know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I love you, Cady St. Claire. Please don’t go,” he whispers.
I stare into his deep blue eyes and feel tears coming to mine. “I won’t… I never wanted to leave.”
He gives me a gentle kiss, and then we continue walking. “Good. When I realized you were gone, and you hadn’t said a word to me, or to Willie, I— I was worried. Was all I could do not to chase you down. Took everything I had in me.”
I stop walking again, and pull him back. “Wait, you noticed I was gone and actually cared?”
“Cared? I was damn near out of my mind! But I just figured you’d had it with me and this place and were outta here.”
I stare at him and take a deep breath. “I, well… I kinda did have it with you.”
A grim shadow darkens his features, and he nods. “Figured as much.”
“You were pushing me away so much, and then…”
He looks up. “And then what?”
I shake my head. “The night before I left, I wanted to talk to you. Clear things up. I went over to your place…”
A look of understanding starts to dawn on his face.
“A girl answered, said you were in the shower.”
“Wait—”
“Then the next morning, I saw you walking her out and you two looked really cozy. And in that moment, yeah… I needed to get away from you, from here. Seeing that hurt me more than I ever thought it could, and I didn’t know what to do.”
Colton grips both my shoulders with his hands and shakes his head. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“You said that before. But I saw her… I saw both of you.”
He shakes his head again, his eyes stormy. “No, you have to believe me. It’s not what you think.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore—”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Yes, yes it does. I don’t want you thinking that I… that I could even…” He shakes his head. “That woman, that’s Rebecca. I’ve known her literally my whole life. Our mothers were best friends, and we were in playpens together. She’s like a sister. And besides, she’s married.”
I raise an eyebrow. “It’s fine, you don’t have to explain.”
“Yes, I do. Well, I can’t say everything, but I was just helping her that night. She… she has a bad drinking problem and a problem with pills. Her husband has threatened to leave her if she doesn’t get her act together. She was fine for a while, but lately she’s been a real mess. That night she was basically hiding out at my place because she couldn’t go home and face her husband. It would’ve been bad. We stayed up all night talking, and she agreed to go straight to rehab the next day. I drove her there myself.”
I don’t even want to admit to myself the amount of relief I feel at his words, and the sincerity I see in his eyes. I give him a small smile. “I guess I just thought the worst because I saw you guys at the restaurant, and you told me to keep it a secret…”
He grimaces. “Vivi’s fiancé, Freddy… he and Becca are brother and sister. Freddy and her husband, Mac, are best friends, and well, things can travel fast in a small town if you’re not careful.”
I shake my head, amazed. “And here Vivi told me everyone knows everything about everything. Sure do seem to be a lot of secrets in this town.”
Colton gives an easy grin. “The South would be nothing without its secrets,” he says. Then he holds out his hand.
“…You coming?”
*****
After the last mourners have paid their respects, Colton and I are ushered into a small room upstairs. We sit next to each other on a couch, and Sheldon sits at the secretary desk in the corner. He opens the file, and peers at us from over his glasses.
“As you know, Willie didn’t have any living issue,” Sheldon begins. “He does have a few other recipients listed here for some of his lesser assets, but as the main beneficiary to his primary estate, I was instructed to deliver the news to you first, and in person.”
I glance at Colton, but his face is stoic.
Sheldon clears his throat and begins reading aloud. “I, Abraham William Brinksley, being of sound mind and body, hereby bequeath the following upon my death: To Cadence St. Claire, my entire thirty-three percent share of ownership of the homestead at 1631 Sycamore Lane, AKA ‘Magnolia Manor’ to be transferred in full upon my death.”
I gasp and look at Colton, confused. “What did he say?”
Colton just gets a slow smile on his face. Sheldon goes on, “I am instructed to read to you this letter he dictated to me.”
I return my attention to the older gentleman, wondering if this is some weird joke. How can Willie leave me a third of Magnolia Manor?
Sheldon continues, “My dear Miss Cady. I am leaving this glorious world happier for having met you. Your heart and spirit shine like the brightest star in the heavens. I will miss our talks, and will feel much better knowing that by leaving you my stake of the Manor, you will always have a home— even as you wander. Thank you for the cookies. Your friend, Willie.”
I glance back and forth from Sheldon to Colton, my eyes swimming with unshed tears. “How is this possible? Is this a joke?”
Colton shakes his head and chuckles. “Well, I’ll be. Ol’ son of a gun.”
“I assure you it’s no joke, Cady,” Sheldon says. “Willie was quite adamant, and very excited about it.”
I frown. “I didn’t know that Willie owned part of the house… ”
Colton gives me a little grin. “Remember when you asked if slaves ever lived here? Well, my ancestors told them they always had a home, as long as they wanted to stay…even gave them partial legal ownership of the house. Some moved on, some died. Willie was the last remaining descendent.”
I don’t know what to say, as the weight of the situation starts to sink in. “So… technically, I’m part owner of Magnolia Manor now?” I whisper.
Sheldon smiles. “Well, there’s some paperwork to be filled out and filed, but yes, you are. Co-owner, at least. You have a partner there…” He nods to Colton.
I chuckle and glance over at him. “Did you know about this?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No clue.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
Sheldon stands up. “Well, that’s the main thing we needed to cover today. I’ll be in touch soon with further details and instructions.” He gets up and walks to the door, then stops and turns back to me. “Does this change your travel plans any, Cady? Are you still leaving us?”
I look over at Colton’s loving face and smile.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Epilogue
The leaves are again turning their miraculous shades of amber and crimson as Colton and I make our way towards the family cemetery. “You sure you’re up for this?” Colton asks, rubbing my stomach.
I give him a look. “I’m pregnant, not disabled. Of course I can do it.”
He grins and gives my belly a quick kiss before giving me one. Hand in hand, we slowly make our way through the woods. I chuckle to myself.
“What is it?” Colton asks, glancing over.
I shake my head. “It just never ceases to amaze me… everything that’s happened. What if I hadn’t decided to go over to Brandon’s that night? What if I never found out the truth until it was too late?”
He raises his eyebrow. “Doesn’t everyone know the truth now?”
“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Several months ago, some paparazzi had managed to film Brandon and Christian in a very compromising position in a private VIP room at a popular nightclub. I still can’t believe they were so reckless. Apparently drugs were involved. The sex tape was quickly pulled from the internet, but not before the damage was done.
“It’s just so crazy how things work out sometimes,” I add. “The way that one choice led to a chain of events that completely changed my whole world. When I thought my life had ended, I was just really starting a newer, better one.”
/>
Colton nods. His face is grim, and I know he hasn’t totally forgiven himself for what happened to Annalise and his parents. But he’s getting better.
Today is the one year anniversary of the death of our dear friend. We visit his grave and leave behind a few cookies I made especially for him. Then we visit for a while at the graves of Colton’s parents.
Before long, the sun begins to make its final descent in the amber autumn sky.
I turn to my husband and hold out my hand.
“Come on… let’s go home.”
~~~THE END~~~
~RECIPE FOR CADY’S COOKIES~
Strawberry Cookies With White Chocolate Chunks
Author: OMGChocolateDesserts.com
Recipe type: Dessert
Prep time: 20 mins
Cook time: 15 mins
Total time: 35 mins
Serves: 24
Delicious, soft and chewy cream cheese cookies with fresh strawberries and white chocolate chunks.
Ingredients
1¼ cup all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
⅛ teaspoon salt
¼ cup unsalted butter-softened
4 oz cream cheese-softened
¾ cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ cup chopped fresh strawberries
2 tablespoon lemon juice
1-2 tablespoon flour
The Dirty South Page 23
