by Naima Simone
“I thought you’d gone to bed,” he said, voice quiet.
“I did…” She moved farther into the room. “But I need to talk to you first.” Gathering her courage, she met his steady gaze. “I lied earlier about the phone call. It wasn’t Lo; it was Tony.”
Silence met her admission. But she didn’t miss the tension that invaded his body. It fairly emanated from him, reaching out and humming over her skin. Still, she pushed on.
“I’m sorry for lying to you. I-I was scared to tell you the truth because of your reaction the last time Tony called. That’s not an excuse, I know. But I…” Didn’t want to see the end of this time with you. “I’m sorry.”
She waited, bracing herself for an accusation or the cold barrier he could throw up in an instant, leaving her shivering from frostbite.
“What did he want?” he finally asked.
“He explained why he pursued Peyton,” she admitted softly.
“I’m sure he did,” he drawled, setting his glass on the desk. “What did he say?”
Quickly, she repeated her conversation with Tony, cringing inside as shame stole through her, even though the guilt didn’t belong to her. When she fell silent, a muscle ticked along his jaw, and his emerald eyes were cold and sharp enough to cut glass.
“If his reason for paying me back is true, I can understand his motive as a brother,” he said, the quiet tone belying the hardness of his gaze. “I hurt you. But worse, I hurt you to save me pain. That’s inexcusable. Unforgivable.”
“Aiden.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about that…”
“We need to, Noelle. Didn’t you ask me if we were going to pretend those two years didn’t happen? We tried, but it’s right there, this thing we tiptoe around.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, maybe as a defense. Definitely as protection. “What can you say? It’s wasn’t you, it was me? Just let it go.”
“That is the truth. You were—are—perfect. You did nothing wrong. But trust me. That was your only crime. My father abandoned my mother before I was born; he wanted her to have an abortion, but she refused. Chose me over him. Literally, from the time I was born, she was my champion. My rock. And when she needed me most—when she was in the fight of her life and losing it—I was with you. You…” He broke off and glanced away for a brief moment before returning his gaze to her. “You were my happiness when I didn’t know I wanted it, when I didn’t know I was missing it. But I couldn’t handle knowing that while I had those bright moments, she was dying.” Silence fell between them as he shoved his hands in his pockets and stared a hole in the floor. “I couldn’t separate my guilt from being with you. Not that I blamed you, Noelle; I didn’t. It was myself I couldn’t forgive. But you were a reminder—your eyes, your voice, your scent, you—of my failure. It was easier to paint you with the same brush as your father and brother, even knowing you were nothing like them. Could never be. I was selfish, a coward.” The bleakness in his eyes caught her off guard, punched the air from her lungs. “I hurt you. And I’m sorry, Noelle. I’m sorry for every tear you cried, every second you doubted how brilliant, gorgeous, and worthy you are. It’s another sin that I have to answer for.”
Six years had passed since that night and the aftermath. Time had dulled the pain, but not until he uttered I’m sorry did she feel the scab start to knit together over that particular wound. Those two words weren’t a miracle cure, but not until she heard them did she realize how much she’d needed to hear them.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
He nodded, then turned back to the window, a new, finer tension invading his body. “As for everything else your brother said… When I first met Peyton, I believed she was redemption, so to speak. You, I wouldn’t allow myself to have, but with her? Maybe I was meant to have joy in my life. At least that’s what I believed,” he said, a coldness invading his tone. “She was beautiful, intelligent, funny, kind… I didn’t care about her social status, her money, or the connections her family could bring. I just wanted her. To take care of her, love her, protect her.”
Part of Noelle hung on every word he said; he rarely mentioned his fiancée’s name. But the other half longed to clap her hands over her ears and block out his voice telling her how much he’d adored another woman. Not when, at one time, she’d wanted those very same things from him. She was jealous of a woman who’d been foolish enough to squander away such a precious gift as Aiden’s heart.
“For the first year, we were perfect. But then, Peyton…changed.” He fell silent, and Noelle glanced down, clearly seeing the outline of his fists through the material of his pockets. “As the company grew, my role and responsibilities did along with it, and we spent less time together. She became needy, clingy. Resentful. When I couldn’t escort her to dinners, parties, or charity events, she accused me of not loving her like I used to, of taking her for granted. That’s when I started noticing the extreme mood changes. One moment she would be hyper, a whirlwind. She’d jump from one conversation topic to another, started forgetting simple things, went on these extravagant shopping sprees. And when she spent the night with me, she would walk the floors all night. Then there were times when she couldn’t crawl out of bed or care about her appearance, her family and friends, or the committees she loved serving on. What I didn’t know—what Peyton had hid from me—was she’d been diagnosed as bipolar three years earlier. I can only assume she believed I wouldn’t have accepted or loved her if I’d known. And that’s ridiculous, but she never gave me the chance to tell or show her that.”
Noelle stared, spellbound by his heartbreaking narration. Had Tony known? Had Peyton confided in him what she hadn’t with Aiden? And if so, had Tony deliberately taken advantage of her? Noelle would love to be able to say an emphatic no. But she couldn’t… She couldn’t.
“I learned about her disorder, and that she’d stopped taking her medication, too late. She’d begged her parents not to tell me, and they agreed, not admitting the truth until after I broke off the engagement. The entire time we were together, the three of them conspired to keep the truth from me. I loved them, and they lied to me. If Peyton had trusted me, we could’ve faced her episodes and her going back on her medication together; I wouldn’t have left her. Instead, none of them said anything…not even after we found out we were going to have a baby.”
“What?” Noelle gasped. Shock doused her in a freezing deluge. Peyton had been pregnant? Tony hadn’t said…
“We found out two weeks before I caught her and Tony together. Since she was about two and a half months, we decided not to announce it, except to her parents and Lucas. I was so happy, and so was she. Or so I thought. It’s too cliché how I found out about her and Tony. A text. She’d left her phone on the bed, unlocked. So when the text came through, I picked it up to take it to her and read the message. Apparently, she’d been cheating for months. That’s how far back the texts went. Are we meeting tonight? He’s working late, come over. I followed her the following night to a motel and saw them together. Later, when she arrived home, I ended the engagement. For a week, she called me, crying, pleading, screaming, cursing me out. It was my fault she’d turned to Tony. If I wasn’t always working, if I’d been there for her, she wouldn’t have had to find another man to give her attention, love. Even her parents called me, begging me to think about the baby.” He loosed a crack of bitter laughter. “Think of the baby.”
His mouth flattened into a grim line, and her heart pounded. Instinct warned her she didn’t want to hear the rest of his story.
“I thought my heart had broken that night in the motel parking lot. I discovered I didn’t know what that truly was until Peyton called a week later. She’d miscarried. But, according to her, I shouldn’t care because the baby hadn’t been mine anyway. She’d lied; the pregnancy had been sixteen weeks along, not the twelve she’d led me to believe. And since I’d been out of the country on a business trip during the period of conception, I couldn’t have been the father.
Of course, I only had her word to go by, and she’d proven to be a damn good liar.” Picking up the forgotten glass of alcohol, he slung it back and slammed the tumbler back down on the desk. “Either way, whether the baby was mine or not, I’d already started to plan a future with and for our child. Peyton and Tony had stolen one last thing from me.”
“Aiden,” she breathed. Her heart and hands ached to touch him, to comfort him.
“I never told anyone that. Not even Lucas. So no one knows about the baby’s paternity except you…and your brother.”
Horror dawned on her. Somehow she knew where this was going… Nausea churned and scorched a path toward the back of her throat. Please, God, no. He wouldn’t…
“The day after I found out how far along she’d been, Tony called me. In spite of how our engagement ended, Lucas and I had made sure nothing about your brother or an affair appeared in any of the papers or those damn gossip pages. But, according to Tony, if I wanted news about their affair and the baby to remain quiet, I would have to pay him off.”
Bile raced to the back of her throat, and she choked on it and the rage that swelled inside her. Last week, Aiden had accused her of conspiring with her brother. Now, with all the details of what had transpired between the two of them, she understood why Aiden had jumped to that conclusion. Considering Tony’s despicable actions, how could she blame Aiden?
She had to go. Get out of Aiden’s life. When she thought of showing up weeks ago at that auction and requesting he pay her tuition, the nausea returned with a vengeance. He would’ve seen her as another taker, another user, another Rana wanting something from him for nothing. Yet, he’d paid for her education, invited her into his home when she had nowhere to live, and cared for her when she was sick.
The kind, merciful thing she could do right now would be to go pack her few belongings and leave this man’s life. To not bring her drama or her brother’s painful presence into the world he’d created for himself separate from Chicago and the agonizing memories he’d left behind.
But maybe there was more Rana inside her than she cared to acknowledge. Because instead of backtracking and heading up the stairs to her bedroom, she crossed the room and rounded the desk. She slipped between Aiden and his desk and closed her arms around him. He stiffened, his body as rigid as a statue. But she held on. Tight. She needed to hold him, touch him. And maybe, just maybe, he needed the same from her.
After several interminable moments, his arms encircled her, and she exhaled. Relief coursed through her as his solid weight leaned against her and around her.
“I’m sorry. So sorry,” she whispered against his chest.
“For what?” he murmured, his chin grazing the top of her ear as he drew her impossibly closer. “And I didn’t give him a dollar. He didn’t bother calling back after that.” Aiden sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Those were your brother’s actions, not yours, Noelle.”
She didn’t reply. Couldn’t. Because no matter what he said, the truth flared in front of her like a flashing warning sign. He would never forgive her brother for his role in Peyton’s lies, or for the pain he’d inflicted afterward. And part of her wasn’t sure he should. But Tony was her brother. And while she detested his actions, choices, and nonexistent morals, she loved him. If he ever needed her, she would be there for him. Because that’s what family—good or bad—did for one another. In spite of his selfishness, Tony would do the same for her.
And then there was the thing he’d glossed over, barely touched on. The people he’d loved had lied to him. Betrayed him and his trust. Just as he hadn’t forgiven Tony, he hadn’t forgiven himself for believing in those who’d deceived him. They’d taught him that love couldn’t be taken at face value. That agendas trumped everything else, and the cost was too high. So that left her with a dilemma that weighed on her heart like an albatross.
She was falling in love with a man who would never trust her. Might even resent her one day.
Before he came to hate her.
Chapter Sixteen
Aiden stepped out into the chilly night, the last of Monday’s evening traffic rush providing a cacophonous symphony. The stress from the workday melted off of him as his car and driver pulled up to the curb. Tonight, his schedule was free of business dinners or late meetings. Just Noelle. Earlier he’d called her at the gallery to invite her to dinner.
His fingers tightened around the handle of his briefcase. An image of how he’d last seen Noelle drifted across his vision. Her arms tucked under her pillow, her bare, slender back taunting him like a flag taunts a bull. The vivid colors enticed him to trace every line with his fingers and tongue. He’d almost surrendered to the temptation.
Almost.
Only the knowledge that he might already be in too deep kept him from sliding back under the covers and curling his body around hers.
Saturday night had crossed a line. He’d admitted the entire truth about Peyton and the baby to her—a truth he’d never revealed to anyone. Not even Lucas, his closest friend. Anger, pain, and humiliation had locked it up inside him. But for some reason, he’d shared it with Noelle.
That scared the shit out of him.
“Mr. Kent.”
Aiden turned around and came face-to-face with James Wilson, owner of Wilson Investigations. The private investigator was persistent, Aiden would give him that.
“Mr. Wilson,” Aiden greeted him, nodding at his driver as he stepped out of the car. “I thought I made myself clear Saturday night that I would no longer need your services.”
“I understand, Mr. Kent,” James said, inclining his head. “But you originally paid us for surveillance, and I couldn’t let it drop.” He extended a manila envelope toward Aiden. “I personally took these earlier today.”
Aiden stared at the folder, unease and dread dropping into his stomach like a lead weight. He didn’t want to accept it, but seemingly of its own volition, his hand reached for the envelope. Numb, he opened the flap and drew out several black-and-white photographs.
Noelle.
And Tony.
Brother and sister hugging. Talking.
Noelle handing Tony money.
The blast of anger and betrayal shook him, followed by pain that radiated throughout his body. The photos were time-stamped one fifteen p.m. It was now after six. When they’d spoken several hours ago, Noelle hadn’t mentioned her brother being in Boston, her seeing him, or her giving him money. Why?
Lies.
Lies had almost destroyed him at one time, and he had zero tolerance for them. Especially when they involved Tony Rana.
He shoved down the pain, instead cultivating and concentrating on the anger. He’d been taught the price of trusting a woman so quickly, of confusing passion and lust with…
Not love. Even he couldn’t be that stupid again. Could he? From the size of the hole in his chest, he wasn’t so sure.
“Thank you, Mr. Wilson,” he said, his voice flat and hard in his own ears. “Your invoice was paid this morning. End the surveillance. Now. I no longer need your services,” he repeated his words from Saturday night.
The other man nodded his salt-and-pepper head. “Yes, sir.”
A chill invaded Aiden’s chest as his driver opened the rear door of the town car, and he ducked inside. The deep freeze spread as they traveled across town toward his home.
Toward the second woman to betray him.
…
Shivering inside her coat, Noelle hurried up the walk to Aiden’s apartment building. Seven o’clock. She’d left the gallery a little later than she’d intended, but if she pushed it, she could change and be on time for dinner. With Aiden. A small and, what she freely admitted, silly smile curved her lips. The giddy delight that had bubbled inside her at Aiden’s invitation tickled her now. An actual date. Saturday night didn’t count, as Sydney had invited her, but tonight… For the past four hours, she’d been trying to convince herself not to read too much into a simple dinner. She still stayed with him,
and they both had to eat.
But as of this afternoon, their living together could come to an end. Her apartment would be ready on Thursday. She could move out of Aiden’s apartment—and his life—by the end of the week. They could go on with their lives and pretend their…connection had never happened. She could continue working at the gallery, start grad school in January, and forget that Aiden Kent had ever reentered her life and changed it. Changed her.
She could try to ignore the fact that she’d fallen in love with Aiden.
God, she’d tried to avoid it. Tried to deny it. But the moment he slipped his mother’s earrings into her ears, her heart had begun its treacherous slide toward Damned-to-Love-the-Most-Unattainable-Man-Ever-ville.
No person—man, woman, relative—had ever made her feel…worthy. He’d done more than give her Caroline’s jewelry in that moment. He’d said without words that she belonged, was accepted. And for that gift, she’d tumbled head over ass in love with him.
Maybe… She clung to that “maybe” with all the desperate hope of a schoolgirl with a crush on the popular captain of the football team. Yes, their past loomed between them like a minefield riddled with holes and IEDs. But they also had a tenuous friendship, an even more fragile trust, and an overwhelming passion that connected them. Relationships had been founded on shakier, smaller ground.
Sighing, she grabbed the door handle.
“Ellie!” a voice called behind her.
She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart thumping hard before sinking. God, no. But when she turned around, her brother stood on the curb, a wide grin stretching his mouth. She stumbled back, her hand lifting to her neck. What was Tony doing here? At Aiden’s home?
“Tony,” she whispered, striding forward. Panic streaked through her as she glanced behind her. Aiden would arrive any moment, if he hadn’t already. She had yet to tell him about Tony’s presence in Boston. She intended to let him know, but damn it, he couldn’t find out like this. “What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded. “I gave you all the money I had on me for a hotel room. I don’t have any more to give you.”
