‘No. It wasn’t like that. It was—’
‘What made you so damn sure I would have been a bad father?’
‘No.’ The word was even more vehement this time. Torn out of Abby. ‘The opposite of that. You would have been a great father. The best. Just like you were in everything you did.’
The best paramedic.
The best lover...
She had to make him understand somehow, because Abby knew this would be very, very important for trying to move forward from this. For all of them. She sucked in a deep breath as she felt Tom’s stunned silence as he processed her words. And suddenly—surprisingly—she felt calm.
‘Jack would have had a hero for a dad,’ she continued quietly. ‘Someone a little boy would grow up worshipping. And at some point he’d start to understand how dangerous that job was. He’d start getting scared.’
Tom was absolutely silent beside her. Abby was looking straight ahead again and she had the impression that Tom was doing exactly the same thing. That it was too hard for him to look at her as she spoke. She wasn’t finished yet, either. She had to keep going. Make him really understand.
‘He’d start to realise that all those unknown people who were sick or hurt were somehow more important than he was. That every time his dad answered the call to go to one of them, there was a chance that he’d never come back.’
Abby had to scrub at her face and sniff loudly. Where were these tears coming from?
‘I know what it’s like to live with that fear,’ she added brokenly. ‘I didn’t want it for my child. It was right then, when I found you’d gone off on a new mission when you hadn’t even recovered from getting hurt in the last one, that I knew I had to find somewhere my baby would be safe. And keep him safe for as long as I possibly could because...’
Because that baby had been a part of herself.
A part of Tom.
The man she loved with all her heart and soul.
It was on the tip of her tongue to let that spill out, too, but Abby stopped herself just in time. Tom didn’t need to know that. The consequences of him finding out he was a father were enough of a worry. She didn’t need to make it worse by making herself vulnerable as a woman as well as a mother.
‘Just because...’ she finished lamely.
Tom was still sitting there silently. Maybe he would have said something but the air around them was filled with the distinctive heavy sound of an approaching Iroquois helicopter.
The hard-core rescue personnel were going to arrive in droves now and the operation to save and protect the community of Kaimotu Island would move into a new, intense phase. They couldn’t stay sitting here in a quiet corner, ignoring what was really important right now.
And the four-wheel-drive vehicle that Mike had taken away to check the condition of the runway was coming back down the hill. At some speed, given the appalling condition the road was now in.
He slammed on the brakes when he spotted Abby and Tom sitting on the bench.
‘Thought you’d be back at HQ,’ he said. ‘You won’t have heard.’
Abby’s heart skipped a beat. Was this going to be news about Jack?
‘They’re getting a food parcel together. It’s your pilot who’s going to do the drop, Tom. Moz? He’s asking where you are.’
‘What?’ Tom reached for the radio clipped to his overalls and then swore softly. ‘How the hell did I miss dropping that?’
‘It’s probably back at the hardware shop where we were working on Harley,’ Abby said. ‘Do we need to go and look for it?’
‘No.’ Mike shook his head. ‘Jump in and come with me. We’re running out of time because they don’t want to do it after dark. You could go, too, if you like, Abby. You might get to wave at Jack, at least.’
If she liked?
Was he kidding? Abby jumped to her feet. Tom already had the door of the vehicle open for her to climb in.
He had an odd expression on his face.
Because he might get to wave at Jack, too? See his son for the first time?
Abby’s hand was shaking as she reached to slam the door shut. As unbelievable as this day already was, the tension had just increased by several huge notches.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE INFORMATION CENTRE was a hive of activity as Abby and Tom arrived back in the gathering dusk.
Outside, portable generators were powering spotlights that illuminated vehicles being stocked with various supplies and people moving both towards and away from the operational hub.
Inside, the space was far more crowded and noisy than the last time Abby had been in there.
When she’d been delegated as Tom’s partner. Before he’d had any idea of the real partnership they still had. One that would change the shape of the future for both of them.
The partnership of being parents...
Not that Abby could give any head space to a future that wasn’t immediate. Even the excitement of possibly seeing Jack very soon was being pushed aside in the face of this controlled chaos.
How many choppers had landed on the island in the last couple of hours when she’d been working in what remained of the island’s village? Or had a ferry arrived? The centre was crowded with strangers wearing the overalls and hard hats that were the uniform of people who knew how to handle an urban disaster.
One of them was wearing a fluorescent vest that had the insignia ‘Incident Commander’ on its back. Tom headed straight for the man but Abby had stopped in her tracks, overwhelmed by the noise and activity.
There were locals in here, too. Mike Henley was looking exhausted as he was being interviewed by a television crew and reporters.
‘Yes. In hindsight, I suppose we could say that the minor tremors recently were foreshocks, but nobody can predict a major earthquake. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to ask an expert those kinds of questions. We have more important things to deal with at the moment.’
‘How many confirmed deaths have been reported so far, sir?’
‘Three.’ The grim lines on the senior police officer’s face deepened.
‘Can you release any names?’
‘Not yet. Not until the victims have been identified and their next of kin notified.’
Other people were bustling past the obstruction the knot of media personnel were making. Someone had an armload of blankets.
‘Put them in the ute outside, Kev,’ someone else called. ‘Who’s got the food parcels?’
‘Report of person trapped.’ A young man waved a radio above his head. ‘Building down and the dog handler reckons they’ve got someone alive in there.’
The reporters’ attention swerved instantly away from Mike. The incident commander turned away from his conversation with Tom.
‘Blue team? Over here.’
There was a surge of movement as a group of rescuers responded to the summons.
Abby still hadn’t moved. Her body was aching, she realised. Especially her knee. She’d banged it on something, way back, but had no idea when. There were too many things happening around her and her head was spinning.
The relief of knowing Jack was safe was disappearing beneath fear again. She wouldn’t really believe it until she could hold her son in her own arms. And what about all the other people she cared about so much on the island? Like Ben McMahon, who’d been her colleague and friend for so many years now. Where was he? He should have turned up hours ago, as soon as the disaster had happened. Or maybe he had. He could be up at the hospital right now, operating on a badly injured islander, perhaps.
Somebody here must know about Ben. And his parents, Doug and Ailsa, who, ever since she’d arrived here pregnant and vulnerable, had been like the parents Abby had never really had. Catching her breath, Abby looked around. She didn’t even know how people had fared in their houses
. If houses were still standing.
The smell of hot food caught her nose. In the corner of the information centre a table had been set up to dispense food and hot drinks to the rescue workers. Abby recognised the older woman who was clearly in charge. Daphne Hayward—the kind of pillar of a small community who was always in exactly the place she was most needed, usually with her sister, Flora, by her side. The ‘Hayward girls’, as they were known locally, always knew what was happening.
Finally, Abby could move.
‘Daphne...do you know anything about Ben? He went out on a house call and didn’t get back before the quake hit. I haven’t heard anything...’
‘Sorry, love. I haven’t heard about Ben, either. Ailsa said she’s sure he’ll be fine. He’ll be busy helping someone or other.... The phones aren’t working.’ Daphne’s face creased in sympathy. ‘You must be so worried about your little Jack but isn’t it good news about the bus being spotted?’
‘Mmm.’ Abby choked back a sob. ‘We’re going out there...with food parcels...’ She turned her head, trying to see where Tom was.
He was coming towards her through the crowd and his gaze caught hers. It felt like a solid connection. A path he was travelling to get to her side.
And it felt wonderful. The confusion—even the exhaustion—Abby had been aware of since coming into the centre was suddenly gone. Tom would be by her side any second now and then they would go and do whatever had to be done. Together. And she could cope, because she’d have Tom beside her.
Daphne was prattling on, telling her as much news as she could in a short space of time. Trying to offer her a cup of tea, as well, but Abby was moving again now. With Tom.
Heading for the door and the vehicle that would take them to the helicopter.
But she came to another sudden stop right outside the door of the information centre because there was a new crowd of people blocking the entrance. People she knew.
Ben...and Ginny...and Daphne’s sister, Flora, and a whole bunch of children. But it was Ben that Abby couldn’t take her eyes off.
‘Ben—oh, thank God you’re okay. I’ve been so worried. Where have you been? We’ve been going out of our minds. Your mum—’
‘She’s okay?’
Oh, help... She could see the fear in his eyes. Ben didn’t know that his family were safe. Wherever he’d been, he obviously had no idea what was happening in the township. Or up at the hospital. She had to reassure him.
‘She’s fine. As far as I know, all your family is okay. Doug’s out with the searchers. Your house is intact and your mum and Hannah have set it up as a crèche. Oh...’
Another look at the children Ben had collected and the mention of the McMahon house being used as a crèche had reminded her of how much this family had done for her when she’d first arrived. When Jack had been a baby.
Jack...
‘Can you clear the entrance, please?’ A soldier was waving at them. Abby glared at him and didn’t move.
‘Why aren’t you at the hospital?’ Ben asked. He had Ginny’s little girl, Button, in his arms now.
Abby hurriedly tried to reassure Ben that things were under control. That there were people who knew what they were doing in charge at the hospital. That she’d been out on the front line where things were really bad. She could feel her fear rising again as she spoke.
She could feel Tom moving closer behind her and she had to introduce him to Ben.
‘This is Tom Kendrick.... I...we know each other.’
Abby had to bite her lip. Would it be obvious to Ben that Tom was a grown-up version of Jack? Or maybe Ginny would see it because she hadn’t watched Jack growing up and she was seeing everything on the island with fresh eyes because she’d only returned recently.
No. Surely it wouldn’t occur to either of them. They all had far too much to deal with and it had nothing to do with Jack’s possible paternity.
‘He’s search and rescue from the mainland. We’ve been out. They wanted a nurse who knew people. I...I...’
Tom was even closer to her now. Abby could feel his arm go around her waist. Good grief...if it hadn’t occurred to Ben to wonder about just how well they’d known each other in the past, this would be a dead giveaway. And how hard would it be to put two and two together after that? She wasn’t ready for other people to know about Tom being Jack’s father so, despite longing for that contact and the reassurance it could convey, Abby moved swiftly away from the touch.
‘I’m...I’m fine,’ she said.
Ginny was staring at her. ‘Abby, where’s Jack?’
‘On...on the bus.’ And it was getting darker by the minute. They really had to get moving but Ben and Ginny needed to get brought up to speed, didn’t they? Her mind a swirl of anxiety now, her voice faded to almost a whisper. ‘We’ve just come back to get the chopper. They’ve organised a drop of blankets and food.’
What if they couldn’t take off in time? Or if the teachers decided to walk everybody out along the cliff road? To climb over the obstacle of the slip? In the dark, with those rocks and the crashing surf so far below...?
‘What the...?’ Ben stopped speaking. He was staring at Abby now, too. Or had his gaze caught the fact that Tom’s arm had come around her waist again and that, this time, she hadn’t moved out of range.
‘It’s okay,’ Tom was saying calmly, over her head. ‘We had a tense time for a while when we couldn’t locate the school bus but we have it now. One of the fishing boats has seen it from the sea. It’s trapped on the cliff road round past the mines at the back of the island. There’s been two landslips and the bus is trapped between them. As far as we know, they’re all fine, but we’re not going to be able to get them out until morning. Hence the airdrop. We’ll drop a radio in, as well.’
‘So it’ll be okay.’ Abby forced the words out. She had to believe them. It was about more than getting Jack back to a safe place. Much more.
Ginny was frowning at her now. Trust another woman to pick up on an undercurrent and wonder what was going on. Abby took a deep breath.
‘They need you at the hospital.’ Persuading Ben and Ginny to move on to where they were needed and allow herself and Tom to do the same was suddenly paramount. ‘Here’s Hannah. Ginny, is it okay if Button goes with her? You and Ginny are needed for medical stuff. Please, go fast. There are so many casualties. But Tom and I need to go now.’ Abby moved away from his touch, leading the way. ‘Let’s go.’
* * *
Finally, they were airborne.
‘We’ll be there in no time, don’t you worry.’ Moz was happy to be doing something useful. He threw a grin sideways at Abby, who was sitting in the front of the helicopter but, from where he was sitting in the back, Tom could see that the reassurance hadn’t softened the lines of tension in her face. She didn’t say anything in response to Moz. She just nodded tersely and stared straight ahead into a dusk that was almost complete darkness.
Just as well the helicopter had a night sun. They could shine the powerful beam of light down onto the drop area and make it safe for Tom to winch down the supplies they were carrying. Or maybe even find a safe place to touch down. How happy would Abby be if she could bring her son on the return trip? No reason not to. They had plenty of room to include a small boy.
Her son.
His son.
Oh...God... For however long this short flight took, there was nothing else Tom needed to be doing. There was nothing to be talked about between the three people confined in this flying bubble. For the first time since this bombshell of news had landed on him, Tom was alone with his own thoughts.
Abby hadn’t followed through with telling him she was pregnant. There was anger there. Lots of it. He’d had the right to know. He could have stepped up to the mark if he’d had the opportunity, but he’d simply been dismissed. Not even consulted.<
br />
What would have happened if he had known? How would he have reacted? If he was going to be honest with himself, Tom knew he probably wouldn’t have reacted well. He’d never even considered taking on the responsibility of having kids. No way. Good grief, he’d broken up with Abby because she’d become an anchor. Trying to hold him back from doing the job that was his life because it was dangerous. She’d only been his girlfriend. Having a family—a child—would have chained him to an even bigger anchor. There was no way it wouldn’t have slowed him down. Clipped his wings.
No. He wouldn’t have reacted well to the news. He would have been horrified. But he would have stepped up to the mark. He would have tried to make things work with Abby again and a part of him—maybe a huge part—would have been relieved to have her back in his life.
He’d missed her far more than he’d ever admitted, even to himself.
Moz was following the ribbon of the cliff road at a fairly low altitude. Tom could see the dark spikes of rocky coastline now that they were away from the beaches on the more inhabited side of Kaimotu Island. He could see the white foam of big waves breaking and the inky darkness of dense bush on the hills. This was wild country.
Beautiful but very isolated.
And this was where Abby had chosen to come to have her child. To raise him.
Not because she thought he’d make a terrible father, though.
Because she thought his son would have grown up thinking he was amazing. A hero.
A sensation Tom couldn’t identify squeezed in his chest. Pride? Lots of people thought he was a hero. How many times had he had his photo in the paper or letters written to the rescue base praising his efforts to save the life of somebody’s loved one? No, it was more than pride. It was something huge.
The idea of being loved by a child? That that child would learn to live with fear? A fear of losing him?
That was why Abby had been like she’d been about his job. Not initially, but after he’d been injured. She’d wanted him to be more careful. He’d seen it as her trying to clip his wings and hold him back because she didn’t understand his passion and was trying to control him.
MIRACLE ON KAIMOTU ISLAND/ALWAYS THE HERO Page 22
