by W. W. Jacobs
'ere asking arter you,' I ses, 'I shall say you'vegone out for the evening.'
"'Wot about her letter?' he ses.
"'You didn't 'ave it,' I ses, winking at 'im.
"'And suppose she waits about outside for me, and Mrs. Plimmer wants meto take 'er out?' he ses, shivering. 'She's a fearful obstinate woman;and she'd wait a week for me.'
"He kept peeping up the road while we talked it over, and then we bothsee Mrs. Plimmer coming along. He backed on to the wharf and pulled out'is purse.
"'Bill,' he ses, gabbling as fast as 'e could gabble, 'here's five or sixshillings. If the other one comes and won't go away tell 'er I've goneto the Pagoda Music-'all and you'll take 'er to me, keep 'er out all theevening some'ow, if you can, if she comes back too soon keep 'er in theoffice.'
"'And wot about leaving the wharf and my dooty?' I ses, staring.
"'I'll put Joe on to keep watch for you,' he ses, pressing the money inmy 'and. 'I rely on you, Bill, and I'll never forget you. You won'tlose by it, trust me.'
"He nipped off and tumbled aboard the ship afore I could say a word. Ijust stood there staring arter 'im and feeling the money, and afore Icould make up my mind Mrs. Plimmer came up.
"I thought I should never ha' got rid of 'er. She stood there chattingand smiling, and seemed to forget all about the cap'n, and every moment Iwas afraid that the other one might come up. At last she went off,looking behind 'er, to the ship, and then I went outside and put my backup agin the gate and waited.
"I 'ad hardly been there ten minutes afore the other one came along. Isaw 'er stop and speak to a policeman, and then she came straight over tome.
"'I want to see Cap'n Tarbell,' she ses.
"'Cap'n Tarbell?' I ses, very slow; 'Cap'n Tarbell 'as gone off for theevening.'
"'Gone off!' she ses, staring. 'But he can't 'ave. Are you sure?'
"'Sartain,' I ses. Then I 'ad a bright idea. 'And there's a letter comefor 'im,' I ses.
"'Oh, dear!' she ses. 'And I thought it would be in plenty of time.Well, I must go on the ship and wait for 'im, I suppose.'
"If I 'ad only let 'er go I should ha' saved myself a lot o' trouble, andthe man wot deserved it would ha' got it. Instead o' that I told 'erabout the music-'all, and arter carrying on like a silly gal o' seventeenand saying she couldn't think of it, she gave way and said she'd go withme to find 'im. I was all right so far as clothes went as it happened.Mrs. Plimmer said once that I got more and more dressy every time she sawme, and my missis 'ad said the same thing only in a different way. Ijust took a peep through the wicket and saw that Joe 'ad taken up mydooty, and then we set off.
"I said I wasn't quite sure which one he'd gone to, but we'd try thePagoda Music-'all fust, and we went there on a bus from Aldgate. It wasthe fust evening out I 'ad 'ad for years, and I should 'ave enjoyed it ifit 'adn't been for Miss Lamb. Wotever Cap'n Tarbell could ha' seen in'er, I can't think.
"She was quiet, and stupid, and bad-tempered. When the bus-conductor cameround for the fares she 'adn't got any change; and when we got to thehall she did such eggsterrordinary things trying to find 'er pocket thatI tried to look as if she didn't belong to me. When she left off shesmiled and said she was farther off than ever, and arter three or fourwot was standing there 'ad begged 'er to have another try, I 'ad to payfor the two.
"The 'ouse was pretty full when we got in, but she didn't take no noticeof that. Her idea was that she could walk about all over the placelooking for Cap'n Tarbell, and it took three men in buttons and apoliceman to persuade 'er different. We were pushed into a couple o'seats at last, and then she started finding fault with me.
"'Where is Cap'n Tarbell?' she ses. 'Why don't you find him?'
"'I'll go and look for 'im in the bar presently,' I ses. 'He's sure tobe there, arter a turn or two.'
"I managed to keep 'er quiet for 'arf an hour--with the 'elp of thepeople wot sat near us--and then I 'ad to go. I 'ad a glass o' beer topass the time away, and, while I was drinking it, who should come up butthe cook and one of the hands from the Lizzie and Annie.
"'We saw you,' ses the cook, winking; 'didn't we Bob?'
"'Yes,' ses Bob, shaking his silly 'ead; 'but it wasn't no surprise tome. I've 'ad my eye on 'im for a long time past.'
"'I thought 'e was married,' ses the cook.
"'So he is,' ses Bob, 'and to the best wife in London. I know where shelives. Mine's a bottle o' Bass,' he ses, turning to me.
"'So's mine,' ses the cook.
"I paid for two bottles for 'em, and arter that they said that they'd'ave a whisky and soda apiece just to show as there was no ill-feeling.
"'It's very good,' ses Bob, sipping his, 'but it wants a sixpenny cigarto go with it. It's been the dream o' my life to smoke a sixpennycigar.'
"'So it 'as mine,' ses the cook, 'but I don't suppose I ever shall.'
"They both coughed arter that, and like a goodnatured fool I stood 'em asixpenny cigar apiece, and I 'ad just turned to go back to my seat whenup come two more hands from the Lizzie and Annie.
"'Halloa, watchman!' ses one of 'em. 'Why, I thought you was a-takingcare of the wharf.'
"'He's got something better than the wharf to take care of,' ses Bob,grinning.
"'I know; we see 'im,' ses the other chap. 'We've been watching 'isgoings-on for the last 'arf-hour; better than a play it was.'
"I stopped their mouths with a glass o' bitter each, and went back to myseat while they was drinking it. I told Miss Lamb in whispers that 'ewasn't there, but I'd 'ave another look for him by and by. If she'd ha'whispered back it would ha' been all right, but she wouldn't, and, artera most unpleasant scene, she walked out with her 'ead in the air folleredby me with two men in buttons and a policeman.
"O' course, nothing would do but she must go back to the wharf and waitfor Cap'n Tarbell, and all the way there I was wondering wot would 'appenif she went on board and found 'im there with Mrs. Plimmer. However,when we got there I persuaded 'er to go into the office while I wentaboard to see if I could find out where he was, and three minutesarterwards he was standing with me behind the galley, trembling all overand patting me on the back.
"'Keep 'er in the office a little longer,' he ses, in a whisper. 'Theother's going soon. Keep 'er there as long as you can.'
"'And suppose she sees you and Mrs. Plimmer passing the window?' I ses.
"'That'll be all right; I'm going to take 'er to the stairs in the ship'sboat,' he ses. 'It's more romantic.'
"He gave me a little punch in the ribs, playfullike, and, arter tellingme I was worth my weight in gold-dust, went back to the cabin agin.
"I told Miss Lamb that the cabin was locked up, but that Cap'n Tarbellwas expected back in about 'arf-an-hour's time. Then I found 'er an oldnewspaper and a comfortable chair and sat down to wait. I couldn't go onthe wharf for fear she'd want to come with me, and I sat there as patientas I could, till a little clicking noise made us both start up and lookat each other.
"'Wot's that?' she ses, listening.
"'It sounded,' I ses 'it sounded like somebody locking the door.'
"I went to the door to try it just as somebody dashed past the windowwith their 'ead down. It was locked fast, and arter I had 'ad a try atit and Miss Lamb had 'ad a try at it, we stood and looked at each otherin surprise.
"'Somebody's playing a joke on us,' I ses.
"'Joke!' ses Miss Lamb. 'Open that door at once. If you don't open itI'll call for the police.'
"She looked at the windows, but the iron bars wot was strong enough tokeep the vans outside was strong enough to keep 'er in, and then she gaveway to such a fit o' temper that I couldn't do nothing with 'er.
"'Cap'n Tarbell can't be long now,' I ses, as soon as I could get a wordin.
