by Suzy K Quinn
‘From what I’ve seen, that sounds like Sigourney,’ says Marc.
‘Did she get to you?’ I blurt out.
‘No. She didn’t get to me. I got to her.’
‘You hurt her?’
‘I would never hurt a woman on purpose. I see … saw the world and relationships in such a fucked up way. It tends to mess with women’s minds.’
‘You definitely messed with my mind,’ I say. ‘I didn’t know up from down when we first got together.’
‘And how about now?’
‘That’s up, right?’ I say, pointing to the floor.
Marc laughs. ‘Seriously though. If Leo hurts her he’ll be in big trouble with me. I care about Jen a lot. She’s a good person.’
‘Leo is too,’ I say. ‘I just hope this is all some mistake. Because those two are great together. Do you think … I mean, you’re a man. Is it possible Leo would cheat on Jen?’
Marc shrugs. ‘It’s possible.’
It feels a little odd being in the kitchen, knowing that Jen and Leo are upstairs arguing.
I think everyone else feels the same way because conversation becomes a little stilted.
Tom and Tanya fill me in on college life and their plans for this year. And Denise and I take Sammy into the garden for a little play. Everyone is full of congratulations, asking about baby names and everything, but I think we all want to know what’s happening with Jen and Leo.
After half an hour or so, I decide to go and investigate.
I excuse myself and sneak upstairs.
Two bedroom doors are closed – the one with the swing inside and another one.
I hear low murmurs.
Experimentally, I try the second closed bedroom door and peer inside.
Then I take a step back.
Jen and Leo are in there completely naked, having sex against the wall.
Jen’s palms are flat on velvet wallpaper. Leo’s tanned backside moves back and forth in a sexy one-two rhythm, his hands either side of Jen’s curvy hips.
I smile and take a step back, carefully closing the door.
When I get back to the kitchen, Marc takes my hand.
‘Well?’
‘Let’s just say I think whatever issues they had, they’ve managed to move beyond them.’
‘Good.’ Marc kisses my head. ‘We’re about to cut the cake. Should I send Rodney up to tell them?’
‘No!’ I say, a little too quickly. ‘I mean … I think they still need more time. So … we can go ahead and cut the cake without them. Jen won’t mind. She’s always dieting anyway.’
47
Twenty minutes later, Jen and Leo still haven’t appeared. But everyone else is laughing and joking and eating coconut cake.
‘So,’ says Tom. ‘Do you think the young baby Blackwell will share his mother’s looks or his fathers?’
‘Definitely his fathers,’ I say.
‘Why do you say that?’ asks Tanya.
I shrug. ‘Just something about Marc’s features. They’re stronger than mine.’
‘Like heck they are!’ says Tanya. ‘You’ve got that Italian thing going on. Olive skin. Brown eyes. Beautiful wavy hair. Brown is always strongest genetically isn’t it?’
‘Pardon me,’ says Tom. ‘But does that mean our children won’t get that ravishing red hair of yours?’
‘Probably not,’ says Tanya. ‘Like I say. Brown is stronger.’
‘Not always,’ says Tom. ‘A cousin of mine is pure blonde and both his parents have brown hair. Oh look! The young lovers have returned.’
Leo and Jen come into the kitchen.
‘Everything all right?’ I ask Jen.
‘Better than all right.’ Jen holds out her fingers, and I see a gleaming diamond ring. ‘We’re engaged.’
I nearly drop my cake. ‘What?’
Jen grins. ‘I’m an idiot. A total, total idiot.’
‘Yes you are,’ says Leo fondly, kissing her blonde hair – which I can’t help noticing is looking pretty ruffled.
‘Leo’s been planning a surprise engagement party,’ says Jen. ‘Hence all the phone calls. And the emails. He’s been phoning his family in the states too – at weird times of night. He was going to propose this month. But I went and ruined the surprise with my big, jealous hissy fit.’
‘Yep.’ Leo tightens his arm around her shoulder. ‘My lovely jealous hissy fiancée. I wouldn’t have you any other way. Lucky I had the ring with me. I’m not sure you would have believed me otherwise.’
‘Let me see that ring!’ says Tom, grabbing Jen’s hand. ‘Oh goodness. That is a bobby dazzler, isn’t it?’
‘So everything’s okay?’ I whisper to Leo. ‘I’m really sorry. I think I said something to Jen that made her think—’
‘It’s okay,’ says Leo. ‘I get it. You’re her friend. You’re looking out for her. And you were right in a way. Just for the wrong reasons. I was bothered by Sigourney when we were at that bar. But not because I have feelings for her. I was bothered because Baz is a friend and I could see him falling for her. I don’t want his head screwed up like every other man Sigourney sinks her claws into.’
‘Then tell him.’
‘Tell Baz Smith what to do? That’s not what guys do. We let each other make our own mistakes. And then we all have a beer together and pick up the pieces.’
‘Should I tell Baz? Warn him?’
‘He’s a grown man.’
‘But the newspapers make out like Sigourney is this sad angel who gets messed around by men. I think that’s why Jen got so jealous. Because the papers said you dumped her.’
‘Look – Sigourney has this magic dust she can throw over guys. I should know. She threw it over me and I ignored all the good advice. If she works her magic on Baz, he’s not going to care about my story. He’s not going to care about anything other than, pardon my French, screwing her.’
‘What if I talked to Baz?’
Leo raises an eyebrow. ‘Doesn’t Sigourney hate you enough already?’
‘She hates me?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’
‘Well … yes. I suppose. A little. But why?’
‘She’s jealous. Simple as that.’
‘She has no reason to be. She’s a supermodel. She has an amazing career. An amazing face. She’s famous.’
‘All that may be true. But she doesn’t have Marc Blackwell.’
48
The next day on set, I think about what Leo said. How Sigourney might be jealous. It’s just not something I can get my head around. Leo can’t be right. How could a beautiful supermodel care about someone like me?
The weather is bad, so we spend the morning hanging around in the makeup marquee drinking coffee and waiting for the rain to pass.
I watch Sigourney flirting with Baz, making big eyes at him and stroking his muscular arms. It looks like she’s madly in love. But I also notice her quick glances at Leo – who’s sitting a few feet away. And the way she effortlessly questions Baz about Marc.
‘You still thinking about saying something to Baz?’ Leo whispers to me.
‘I really want to,’ I whisper back. ‘But what would I say? I mean, you’re right. He’s starting to look pretty besotted. And sometimes people who are besotted only hear what they want to hear.’
‘Hey. Tell me about it. Been there. People warned me about Sigourney. But back then I didn’t listen. I thought, hey, they’re not giving her a chance. They don’t see how vulnerable she is. She’s just a lost little kid. I’m her hero. I can save her. I bet that’s what Baz is thinking right now.’
We look over at Baz, who’s watching Sigourney adoringly.
My phone bleeps and I see a message from Marc.
Are you being a good girl Mrs Blackwell?
‘Do you want a coffee Leo?’ I ask, standing up.
‘Sure.’
‘I’ll get you one.’
I wander over to the giant cafetière, texting on my phone at the same time.
I�
�m always a good girl Mr Blackwell. You should know that by now. Luckily I have a very strict husband who keeps me in line. xx
It’s been a while since I kept you in line. Maybe I should discipline you when you get home.
What did you have in mind? xx
Spanking your beautiful backside until it turns red.
My breathing quickens as I fumble with cardboard cups, trying to pour coffee one-handed while I hurriedly reply:
And then? xx
And then I will tie your wrists to your ankles.
And THEN? xx
I’m breathing really fast now, and I know my neck is going red.
Then I will fuck you. You will beg me not to stop. Just before you come, I will make you promise to obey me forever more. Then I will fuck you until you come and come and come again.
WHY did I start these messages?
Okay, okay! Time out. I am in the marquee with everyone else, trying to make coffee and pretend you’re not turning me on. xx
Have a strong coffee and sit down Mrs Blackwell. I will see you soon.
49
As I’m bringing Leo his coffee, Nadia comes bouncing into the marquee. ‘Hey! Sophia – looks like the rain is blowing over. You ready for your scene?’
‘Definitely.’
‘Are you okay honey? You look a little hot and bothered?’
‘Nothing a little fresh air won’t fix.’
‘Listen – I have a special dinner planned tonight. To celebrate your baby news. All the cast and crew together.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, feeling shy. I’ve had such a fuss made over me already this morning about the pregnancy.
Everyone has been so kind, congratulating me and making sure I have the best chair to sit on. Except Sigourney, of course. She did manage a muted, ‘congratulations’, but I think she only said that because other people were listening.
‘On set we’re one big family,’ says Nadia. ‘And we look after our family. So we’ll take care of you. Okay? And we’ll celebrate together. Your baby is our baby.’
I sense Sigourney glaring at me and quickly say, ‘Leo has news too.’
‘Oh?’
‘He got engaged.’
‘Leo!’ Nadia slaps his arm. ‘To the little blonde firecracker? I like her. I like her a lot. She’s your friend, right Sophia?’
‘My best friend,’ I say, watching Sigourney hop out of Baz’s lap and stride towards us.
‘What’s that?’ Sigourney asks, turning her big eyes on Leo. ‘Some more big news? What are you doing Leo – trying to upstage Sophia? It can’t be done. Getting yourself knocked up is the biggest news there is.’
Nadia frowns. ‘My English might not be great, but I don’t think you should say knocked up. It doesn’t sound nice. What is that other saying? With child. That’s much better.’
‘Why don’t you just write me a script?’ says Sigourney caustically. ‘Then you can tell me exactly how to talk.’
‘Uh oh.’ Nadia waves a finger. ‘The supermodel is in a bad mood today. Hey listen. If you didn’t drink so much vodka, maybe you’d feel better in the mornings.’
A look of pure venom passes over Sigourney’s face. ‘So Sophia. How does Marc feel about the baby?’
Leo laughs. ‘What kind of question is that?’
Sigourney’s eyes go big and innocent. ‘What? Why can’t I ask how Marc feels? Just because I used to date him or something?’
‘Give it a rest Sigourney,’ says Leo.
‘Give what a rest?’
‘You know exactly what. Trying to get people’s backs up.’
Sigourney’s eyes fill with fake, actress tears. ‘That’s what you think of me, Leo?’
Baz appears by Sigourney’s shoulder. ‘Hey. What’s going on? Is there a problem?’
‘There’s always a problem when Sigourney’s around,’ says Leo lightly.
‘If you’ve got a problem with Sigourney,’ Baz growls, ‘you’ve got a problem with me too.’
50
Leo laughs. ‘Don’t go getting all “macho motherfucker” on me now, Baz. We’re supposed to be friends.’
‘We’re not fucking friends. Sigourney told me what you did to her. I would have knocked you out already, but she begged me not to. You’re lucky she has such a soft heart.’
Leo raises an eyebrow. ‘What I did to her?’
‘She told me herself,’ Baz barks.
‘Listen. Baz. In time, you may come to realise that what Sigourney says isn’t always true. But until then, give me the benefit of the doubt.’
‘Are you calling her a liar?’
‘I’m calling her … delusional.’
With lightning speed, Baz grabs Leo’s t-shirt and pulls him to his feet.
‘Boys!’ Nadia pushes herself between them. ‘Stop this RIGHT now. Baz. Sit. SIT!’
She pushes Baz into a chair.
Sigourney glares at Leo. ‘Happy now you’ve started trouble? When are you going to get over me Leo?’
‘I’m engaged!’ says Leo. ‘I got over you years ago.’
‘How long’s that going to last?’ Sigourney snaps. ‘Do you love this girl or something?’
‘Since when do you care?’ Leo retorts.
Tears appear in Sigourney’s eyes. ‘I’ve always cared. Always. You said you didn’t believe in marriage.’ She fixes Leo with big, sad eyes. ‘Oh FUCK you then. I hope you and your wife are very happy.’
She runs out of the marquee into the rain.
Leo shakes his head. ‘Baz, let me introduce Sigourney Seymour. The worst headfuck you’re ever going to meet.’
I look around the marquee. ‘Are none of you going after her?’
‘No way,’ says Leo.
‘I don’t get this,’ says Baz. ‘The way she was talking last night … but just now … Leo what the fuck is going on?’
Leo laughs. ‘She’s just doing what she always does. Messing with people’s heads.’
‘We can’t leave her out there alone,’ I say. ‘She’s upset.’
‘She’s not the only one,’ says Baz, slumping onto a plastic chair. ‘I thought we were getting somewhere. I thought … oh sod what I thought.’ He rubs his eyes until they turn red and watery.
‘Baz – trust me, there’s nothing between us,’ says Leo. ‘I wouldn’t lie to you.’
Baz nods.
‘Don’t go after her Sophia,’ says Leo. ‘It’s exactly what she wants. She’s just being a drama queen.’
‘But she looked really upset.’
‘One of her talents.’
‘I’m going to find her,’ I say.
‘Christ – don’t you get sucked in too.’
‘It’s the right thing to do.’
51
Outside the marquee, I can’t see Sigourney anywhere, which I’m surprised about, because I thought she’d want to be found. Maybe not by me. But by someone.
I jog towards the security entrance, wondering if she’s left the set completely.
Paparazzi and fans are pressed against the wire gates. They wave and shout as I get closer.
I want to tell them to save their energy for a real star like Leo or Baz.
‘Sophia! Sophia – are you still with Marc, Sophia? Is it true you’re pregnant?’
I nearly trip over my feet when I hear that question. How can they know about that? I guess good news travels fast. Maybe a crew member told a friend, who told a friend … oh well. It’s not a secret anyway.
The nearer I get to the gate, the wilder the crowd become, waving camera phones, reaching their hands through the gate bars and screaming my name.
Wow. This is unreal.
‘Sophia!’ shouts a girl. ‘Can I have your autograph?’ She waves a pad and pen through the bars.
‘Of course.’ I sign my name, handing the pad back to her.
‘I loved you in Beauty and the Beast. I can’t wait to see your new movie.’
‘That’s really nice,’ I say, signing other pads. ‘Thanks so much ever
yone. I don’t deserve this. Honestly. Don’t you know Leo’s in there?’
There’s laughter.
‘Has anyone seen Sigourney Seymour?’ I ask. ‘Did she come out this way?’
The crowd murmur ‘no’s’ and ‘don’t think so’s’.
‘Thanks.’ I’m about to turn and head back on set when I see Marc in the crowd.
My stomach does a flip.
Marc?
He’s right at the back, a head taller than almost everyone else. And he’s staring at me. But when I catch his eye he turns and walks away.
I frown. Then I pull out my phone to see if he’s tried to call me. But he hasn’t.
‘Bye everyone. Thanks,’ I say distractedly, backing away from the gates.
I still want to find Sigourney, but I need to know what Marc’s doing here. So I give him a call.
He doesn’t answer.
Strange.
I head back towards the set, feeling misty rain on my cheeks.
Oh no. I’m ruining my makeup and the makeup girls have gone to lunch.
I head to the ladies toilet. There are tissues and mirrors in there – maybe I can still save my face.
As I push the door open, I know straight away I’m not alone.
52
‘What do you want?’ Sigourney is leaning over the sink, slender hands holding the porcelain, looking at her tired face in the mirror.
I notice a rolled up bank note and a few lines of white powder on the sink.
‘What – you’ve never seen anyone do coke before?’ says Sigourney, putting the note to her nose and snorting up a line.
She pats her nostrils and looks in the mirror. ‘Fucking ruins your skin, this stuff. But it keeps me going. You know what I mean? Want some?’ She holds out the banknote to me.
‘Um … no thanks.’
‘Of course not. Squeaky clean Sophia. Little miss perfect wouldn’t dare do drugs.’ She turns to me, her eyes cloudy and hollow. ‘Who do you think you’re fooling, anyway? With that butter-wouldn’t-melt act of yours? What are you even doing on a movie set? You don’t belong here. You only got a role on this movie because of who you’re sleeping with.’
