by Mia Carson
Trying to make it through the remainder of the semester without another kiss would be a nightmare, but what choice did she have? She told Izzy it wasn’t worth it, but why was part of her screaming that it might be? She wanted a way out of this life, from where it was headed too quickly for her to stop. Instead of simply stopping the train, she needed to derail it completely.
“No,” she snapped at herself and stood abruptly, pacing her room.
But her fingers drifted to her lips, brushing across them as Reider’s lips had before the kiss had heated them, and she wished they weren’t in a freaking garden where anyone could walk by and see them. She wished they weren’t in a city where their families controlled everything, and she wanted more than anything for this feud to not matter as much as it did. It shouldn’t, and in that moment, she hated her brothers and blamed her parents more for how the feud affected their lives.
Realizing there was no chance of completing any more work that night, she closed her laptop and fell into bed, hoping sleep would come with no dreams of Reider. As the sun rose and her alarm rang shrilly in her ear the next morning, she pulled her pillow over her face and screamed into it. All night, all she had seen was his face, and as she sat up, the lingering touch of his lips drove her crazy with need.
“This is going to be impossible,” she muttered and rolled out of bed. “Utterly and horribly impossible.”
After a quick shower and failing to conceal the bags under her eyes, she snatched up her tote when her cell dinged. She dug around for it in her bag and when she checked the screen, recognized the number as Reider’s. Making sure none of her siblings were around, she opened it and read it quickly before debating what to send back.
He wanted to meet that afternoon after class to go over some notes he couldn’t read from their last meeting. Johanna’s fingers twitched over the buttons, wondering if he were telling the truth or if he wanted to see her again.
“Johanna? What are you doing up there? You’re going to be late,” Lucy called up the stairs.
“I’m on my way down right now,” she yelled back and sent back a quick reply to Reider. Meeting him wouldn’t be so bad today. It was Monday, meaning Melody would be available for another alibi if she needed one. “Hey, Mom,” she said as she reached the bottom stair to find Lucy ready to greet her. “I have to study with Melody today after class.”
“For what class? You seem to be studying a lot already,” she said and reached out to fix the stray curls around Johanna’s face. She bit her tongue to stop herself from a biting remark as her mom did it. “You know, this is exactly what I was talking about. Working so much, look at the bags under your eyes. Finding a nice boy would solve your problems, sweetie.”
Johanna stepped away quickly, moving towards the door. “Senior year, Mom. I'm not going to throw it all away. I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.”
“Johanna, wait,” Lucy called.
Johanna stopped right at the front door. “Mom, I’m going to be late.”
“Did you receive a call from Brandon? Frank said the two of you hit it off the other night.”
“I did, but I’m so busy with school work right now, I told him we’d go on a date when I had some time in a few weeks,” she said, and, to ensure her mom wouldn’t keep asking, she turned, gave her a huge hug, and said she loved her before hustling out the door.
Classes dragged by the entire day, and Johanna hardly listened to anything Melody talked about, too busy scanning the crowded campus for a glimpse of Reider, hoping to catch sight of his black hair or his intense green eyes. The way they had held her gaze before the kiss, and right after, as she freaked out about it, drove her mad, and seeing them again was the only thing on her mind. When it was time for Ashford’s class, she nearly ran to the lecture hall and hurried to sit down in the front row. Melody eyed her friend curiously, her lips twitching in a smile.
“Before you ask, I can’t tell you yet, but I promise I will later,” Johanna whispered.
“If I’m playing your alibi again today, you’d better,” she said with a wink and wandered off to find her partner for the class.
Johanna grabbed her notebook and a pen from her tote and eyed the doorway closely, hoping she wasn’t bouncing in her seat. The second she heard his laugh, deep and loud, her body stilled and she sighed. He talked with a few of his friends, but when his head turned and his gaze landed on her watching him, his lips widened into a grin and his eyes glimmered with the same attraction she remembered from Saturday night.
“I’ll see you guys later,” Reider told them and patted one on the shoulder. His gaze went from Reider to Johanna and back again before he mouthed something and his face scrunched. “Hey,” Reider said as he approached.
Johanna smiled. “Hey yourself.”
“I see you’re not ready to stab me with your pen,” he said quietly as he sat down, his shoulder brushing hers. “That’s good to know.”
“Were you expecting violence?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “After what happened, yeah, pretty much. Or for your brothers to be here instead, ready to rip my head off.”
Johanna bit her tongue hard and winced. “I’d never do that to you,” she said quietly, staring down at her notebook. “I don’t think I could stomach watching them hurt you.”
“Trying to hurt me,” he said with a laugh, but she felt him shift in his desk. “Johanna?”
“Why are we doing this?” she asked, barely able to force the words out.
“Doing what? Talking?”
“Being nice to each other. What’s the point?” Every good feeling flowing through her mind and body during the day vanished in a shot at the mention of her brothers. He was right, and for some reason, the idea of her brothers finding out never crossed her mind, not after the dreams she had of Reider holding her again. “We can’t do this.”
“I recall you saying that Saturday night, too,” he remembered, smiling slyly. “But what if I can convince you?”
She lifted her gaze to his, and when the green pulled her in, her lips parted on a sigh. “Convince me of what?” she asked, breathless.
His hand slid across his desk and rested beside hers. “Convince you that our families do not have to rule our lives. That kiss meant something, and before you try to lie and say it didn’t, you can’t lie to me. I saw your eyes afterwards, saw the way they darkened with the same desire that is trying to claw its way out of me.”
Johanna’s heartbeat pounded in her ears, and she leaned closer as he did the same. “They’ll find out, and it’ll be over for both of us. You know that.”
“Do I?”
“Why would you risk anything for me?” she asked, knowing it could very well ruin the moment.
Reider’s eyes darkened, and a twitch started near his lip, but before he could answer, the classroom door slammed and Ashford dropped his bag on the desk with a loud thud. Quickly, Johanna pulled away and chewed on her pen, looking anywhere but at Ashford. He raised his brow as his gaze landed on her and Reider—or the way Reider smirked next to her.
“Right then,” Ashford said after a long moment and everyone settled down. “Let’s begin today’s lesson.”
Johanna sank lower in her seat and scribbled a few random notes here and there. The rest of the class spoke and discussed the day’s lesson as the hour wore on, but her lips remained carefully closed. Reider didn’t speak either.
“Now,” Ashford said loudly, and Johanna glanced his way. “You should be at least on the fourth page of your packets. I expect those reports in my inbox by Wednesday evening, and if they’re not there, then I will not count them towards your final grade. I don’t care if your printer runs out of paper or your dog eats it, or your cat, or an alien abduction happens,” he added to a few laughs. “This is no longer just a class. This is real life, so get used to it.” He glanced at the clock on the wall behind him and grinned. “Until Wednesday, everyone.”
The others stood up and gathered their things. Johanna cl
osed her notebook and was ready to ask Reider about meeting soon when Ashford walked over to their desks, his hands on his hips, and smirked.
“So, I see you two are still alive and well.”
Johanna hesitated, but Reider took the lead and scoffed. “Yeah, we’re still alive. Great for us,” he muttered and slung his messenger bag over his head. “It's not like we’re going to be friends, Professor.”
“No one could ever be friends with a damn Marquette anyway,” she added and pushed hotly to her feet, shooting Reider a glare. “Probably hasn’t even typed up his half of the assignment yet.” It took everything she had not to burst out laughing when Reider’s eyes widened slightly and he glanced away, looking guilty as hell. “Don’t get your hopes up. We’re getting through this class, and that’s all.”
She stormed out of the room ahead of Reider and heard him laugh sharply. “There she goes again, pretending she’s better than everyone in the damn place!”
She shot a glare over her shoulder but kept walking until she reached a hall and turned, pressing her back against the brick. Pulling out her cell, she texted Reider and said that she would meet him at the coffee house and that they could figure out a plan from there. When she stepped back out into the main corridor, Melody was there, shaking her head.
“And I thought you two were actually getting along with how much time you spent talking the other day,” Melody said. “So, you need me still?”
“Why do I feel like you’re going to tell me you can’t?” Johanna asked as they walked. When Melody held her books tighter to her chest, Johanna groaned. “Damn. Alright. It’ll be fine.”
“Sorry. Work called, and I could use the extra hours,” she shrugged.
“You know if you ever need money you could always ask,” she said seriously. “You’ve been my friend for over a decade, Mel. I wouldn’t mind helping you out when you need it.”
“I know, but I’m not in that tight of a spot, not yet,” she promised and tucked her books away in her bag. “You sure you don’t need me? How are you going to pull this off if I’m not there?”
Johanna fidgeted with the strap of her bag, itching to take out her pen and gnaw it to death. “I’ll think of something. Izzy isn’t busy today. I’ll text her and tell her to head to the coffee house and lay low there for a while.”
Dragging Izzy into this mess wasn’t what she wanted to do, but she had to meet with Reider to work on the next pages of the assignment anyway, and if Melody wasn’t available, there was no one else who could cover for her. She got to her car and texted her sister, telling her she had to meet with a few friends, but their brothers wouldn’t approve because it was all guys so she needed Izzy to cover for her. Her sister texted her back quickly that she’d be there in an hour. She had a ton of homework to catch up on anyway, and Izzy was a closet caffeine addict. She’d be content for a few hours, except that meant Johanna and Reider had to be out of sight before Izzy showed up.
Johanna started her car and let out a worried sigh, resting her head on the steering wheel. “This is ridiculous. What are we thinking?”
All this sneaking around was going to end badly, and they were barely in their third week of classes. Her hands shaking, she gripped the wheel and drove to the coffee house. The second she spotted Reider’s Wrangler, she smiled nervously and parked a few cars down. He stood outside, waiting for her, and waved when she approached.
“There’s a table right by the windows again,” he said, shifting on his feet. He shoved his hands deep in his pocket. “Nicely played, by the way, with Professor Ashford.”
Johanna’s face went blank, and she lifted her lip in disgust. “Who said I was playing?”
Reider took a half step backwards before Johanna laughed quietly. “Oh, I see how it is. Are you trying to drive me crazier than you already do?”
“I drive you crazy, do I?” she asked and waggled her eyebrows until the seriousness of the situation sank in. “Reider, we can’t stay here. My sister’s on her way to be my cover in case my brothers try to figure out where I am.”
He turned and glanced down the street. “Right, well, that puts a damper on things. How did you manage the other day?”
She cringed. “My friend was in the bookstore the whole time,” she admitted. “I’m sorry. If Frank and Fredrick think I’m up to something and it has anything to do with a guy, they’ll track me down and it won’t end well. Especially now with… with… look, can we go somewhere else? Please?”
He pushed his left hip out as he crossed his arms, those green eyes piercing her amber ones until he nodded. “Get in the Wrangler. I have a place not far from here. No one will bother us.”
“Thank you,” she said, but he held up a finger. “What?”
“When we arrive, you tell me what you’re hiding and why you looked so bad this morning.”
“This morning? When did you see me?” she asked.
He smirked. “I have my ways. Deal?” He held out his hand, and after chewing on her tongue for a second, she shook it and followed him to the Wrangler. They hopped in, and she grinned at the fact that the vehicle had no doors. When he took off down the street, she let her hair fly wildly and laughed from the thrill of him speeding around turns. They left the small town behind and drove out into open fields, turning onto a blacktop road that veered and eventually gave way to gravel.
Johanna’s cheeks were sore from smiling for so long, but she couldn’t have cared less as she hopped out of the Wrangler and stared around the open fields. There was one building in front of them that looked like a barn, but when she walked closer and peered inside a front window, she saw a couch, a TV, and a radio, a small kitchenette, and steps leading up to what was once the hayloft.
“Where are we?” she asked as Reider came up behind her.
His head turned as he glanced around and breathed in the air. “We are on Marquette land. This is one of the stations we use, but at this time of year, it’s empty, so I use it as my getaway when the family’s too much to handle. This far enough away for you?”
Johanna nodded, eager to enjoy a few hours away from the prying eyes of anyone. Reider unlocked the door and slid it aside, flipping on lights as he walked. He set his bag down on the couch and smirked.
“I have to admit, I lied about not being able to read those notes,” he said quietly, not meeting her gaze as he fiddled with his notebook. “I… uh, I wanted to see if you were pissed at me about Saturday night.”
She set her tote down, too, and a light breeze from outside blew in, lifting the ends of her hair and bringing with it the smells of the ranches she grew up around, the sweet grass and fresh air not found near their home. “Since we’re not going to work, can we take a walk? You said there’s no one around, right?”
“No, we’re safe out here,” he said. “You owe me an answer anyway, remember?”
“I remember, don’t worry,” she said and led him back outside.
Reider left the door unlocked behind them and motioned towards a path leading into the field along the old fence. “So spill, what’s going on with your brothers?”
His hands were shoved in his pockets and his gaze watched the ground, but Johanna’s eyes remained on his face. “You never answered my question before.”
“Like you’re not answering mine now?” he asked, his lips twisting in amusement.
“Fine. My brothers’ friend has called me and is planning on dating me unless I can find a way to put it off,” she replied in a breath. “Your turn.”
Reider stopped abruptly, and Johanna turned back to look at him. His face was red, and his eye twitched as he stared at her. “He already tried to ask you out on a date?”
“Tried and was turned down, but he refused to officially take no for an answer,” she shrugged and grabbed a piece of tall grass near her hand. As she spoke, she shredded it, imagining it was her brothers instead. “I can’t keep turning him down with the excuse of schoolwork. My brothers will pick up on it, eventually.” He cursed, watc
hing her hands closely. “Reider, tell me.”
“Tell you what?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Why you’re risking this? I’m not worth this. I can’t be.” She threw the rest of the grass aside, her mind racing with every single confusing thought she’d had since they sat in that coffee house for hours and talked like two normal people. “I’m a Chadwick. You can’t like me, not like this, so what are you doing?”
He moved away and leaned against the fence, propping his boot up on the lowest railing, and stared out over the open fields. The wind rustled his black hair, and Johanna pictured him living out here, working the land and not having anything to do with the family feud. She blinked and for a second, saw herself standing beside him in a life she could only dream of. Anger flooded her chest at that life snatched away, and she wiped at her eyes before the hot tears could fall.
“Why did you come here with me?” he asked finally, breaking the heavy silence.
“What?”
“Why come here with me, Johanna? You didn’t have to. Hell, you could’ve stopped that kiss as easily as I could’ve, and we both had good reason to keep meeting strictly for our work,” he argued, pushing away from the fence to face her.
She stood straighter, almost eye-level, and licked her lips when her gaze darted to his and back to his eyes. “We could have, but we didn’t.”
“No, we didn’t,” he said softly and moved closer until Johanna’s body shivered in anticipation.
“Reider,” she whispered. “Why does this feel right?”
His feet stilled, and his jaw clenched. Johanna mentally kicked herself, thinking she said the wrong thing, and was ready to take it back and cut and run when he stretched out a hand for her waist and drew her up against his hard, muscled silhouette.
