by Pavan Kaur
Nodding my head, I bring my eyes to meet his. “Bring it over as soon as you finish here.” Getting off the chair, I make my way back to the car. How did Jackson not find anything in the police system about her? I mean everyone should be in there. He even asked a few of his friends that are higher up in the law world than he is to see if they could find something, but nothing.
I tell John to drive me into town so that I can pick up a few things and I text Jackson to tell him to meet me there. Then we can go back to my place. Mom said that anyone with Lupus needs to stay warm and it's starting to get cold now, so I want to buy Hope some decent winter clothes, as she didn't have anything in that shitty apartment of hers. Well, not that I could see.
Jackson was done within the hour which was good. I went into a few shops and bought a coat, sweater, and sweatpants for now, as I wanted to get home to see what Hope has been up to all day or even if she's still there. Jackson gets in the car and hands me the file. Ripping it open, I begin to read as I don't live too far and will be home soon.
I turn to Jackson because this is not good. It raises so many more questions already.
He tells me, “There’s nothing about her after the fire. All it says is that she went to live with her uncle and aunt. I mean I called people to ask. I called even higher people than those that I know through the law firm, they all said the same thing, there’s nothing about her after what happened.”
“How can that information go missing?” I mean that is a big fucking chunk that has gone, it has to be somewhere.
“People with enough money can make anything go away. So, the only person that can tell you anything is the one sitting in your home,” Jackson tells me and as the car pulls up. I stare at the house as I prepare myself for a conversation that I’ve been playing in my head since I woke up this morning.
Walking into the house, I make my way toward the kitchen, and I stop as I walk past the dining table. Hope is sitting in the same seat that she was this morning. I share a glance with Jackson who is looking over at her too. Her head is still bowed, so she's looking down at the table. I continue my journey to the kitchen.
“You got a new maid?” Jackson asks as he follows me in. I have a maid that comes in twice a week to clean the whole house, but she has never cleaned it like this. I mean there is nothing on the counters, the kitchen looks like new it’s so spotless.
"No, I haven't." I put the bags down onto the counter. Leaning there, I look through the glass doors leading to the dining room. I look back over at Hope at the table. "That's where I left her this morning," I tell him as I walk over to the table, sitting two chairs away from her. Jackson stands behind her, but she knows he's there. Her body tenses when I sit down, but it tenses, even more, the moment Jackson walked up behind her.
Placing the file on the table, I look over at Hope, but her eyes don't leave the table. "You didn't have to clean. I have a maid who comes in to do that." Nothing, but I'm not expecting her to talk to me just yet anyway. I slide the papers over to her so that her eyes don't have to move from where they are. "Hope Matthews," I add and I see her flinch. She goes to move her hands from her lap but stops. "Your parents died in a fire with your brother, but it doesn't say what happened to you after that."
She says nothing, and I look behind her as Jackson starts walking toward her and I shake my head. "You can read it if you want." She brings her hand up, takes the document and turns it the other way around so that she is staring at a blank piece of paper. I see Jackson nodding his head towards the kitchen, and I get up to follow him.
He hands me a beer, and I turn back to watch Hope as I lean on the counter. Jackson stands next to me. "Leo, that girl in there looks…" He stops.
“She looks like broken glass and a lot of fucking pieces missing to make her whole again,” I tell him. I want to help her. I don’t know why, but I do. But I can’t unless she talks to me.
“I’m going to do some digging around to see if I can find anything. I’ll try and get a fire report or something.”
Finishing his beer, Jackson leaves, and I stay where I am for a moment longer as I just want to watch her.
Underneath that skin, I know there's a beautiful girl. I can already see it. Her eyes alone are the most beautiful I've ever seen, and I want to help bring out the light that she has hidden behind all that darkness.
Walking over to her I say, "I brought you some clothes today. I was told that you need to stay warm now as the weather is getting cool. So, once you've showered, you can wear some of them." I place the bags on the table. She doesn't move just yet, but I can see her hands moving up from her lap.
Standing, Hope takes the bags and walks over to the stairs and up to her room. Tonight I’m going to make sure that she isn’t sleeping on the floor again.
She needs to be sleeping in the bed that’s in the room.
Chapter 7
Hope
“You’re starting to learn. The quieter you are, the better it will be for you. They’ll be coming for you next week, so I only have a week left, so you better learn faster.” Uncle Jack shuts the door as he leaves my prison after another, what he likes to call a lesson, but I call hell.
Leaning my head on the wall, I close my eyes and think about my parents and what they would have wanted for me. I have no idea who it is I’m going to, but I don’t think it will be anywhere better than here.
I hear the door open, and I keep my head on the window and look out at the night lights. I have no idea why this man is doing this for me. Is he nice to build my trust so then when he hands me over again it won't hurt as much? What he doesn't know is that I lost my trust for anyone a very long time ago and the most important thing he doesn't know is I'll never trust a man.
He found out about my parents but that didn't surprise me, they all know what happened to them, but what did surprise me is that he showed me the papers. That was one rule that had never been broken before now; never show me, my parents, never remind me where I came from. Everyone listened to the rule, so what fucked up game is he playing?
“You haven’t slept in your bed,” he says. I look down at my hands as he continues. “I just remembered that I never told you my name, it’s Leo.”
I start peeling some of the skin off my knuckle. I got the lotion, but it takes time for my skin to get better after I have missed it for a while. Leo sits down in front of me leaving a small space between us. I see his hands moving over to mine and they being to shake, not a lot because I’ve learned to control it, but just a small amount that I know what’s happening and I think he can see it too. One thing I’ve picked up about him, he takes in the details around him. He knows what he’s going for and he knows how to get it.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” He stops my hand from peeling anymore of my skin. “I want to help you.” His voice comes out a lot softer this time, but I won’t fall into that trap. Pulling my hands away from him, I turn to look out of the window. “Hope, are you hiding from someone?”
I close my eyes as I hear his question again in my head. Yes, I’m hiding from someone, but he’s found me. You have caught me for him. Then I hear the question again in my head. What am I missing here? Why are all the pieces not fitting in the right places with him? Do I have the wrong pieces to the puzzle?
“Was,” I whisper. I don’t understand what’s going on here. Is he playing some kind of game with me? Toying with me until he releases me into the clutches of my original captor? The strange thing is that he doesn’t seem to be playing a game at all. He seems genuinely interested and concerned for me. But maybe that’s part of the trick?
“Are you not running from them anymore?”
If you are holding me here for them, then no I’m not running anymore, but if you aren’t then, yes, I’m still running. I stay quiet as I look out the window.
“Do you have all the medication you need?”
Now, this is the part I'm most confused about, my wellbeing. No one has cared about it before. I only became ill
in the last three years I was with them, but they never cared, and because of that I got worse.
“For now,” I answer. He doesn’t sound like a man that gives up. He sounds like a man with power, a lot of it. This man gets what he wants and probably doesn’t care who he hurts along the way.
"Tell me when you need more and I'll get it for you." He turns to look out the window. Even though I'm not looking at him, I can sense his movements. I've learned how to watch things around me, how people move, so I can tell more from not looking at him in the face, what type of man he is.
“Do you want to leave?” he asks without turning to face me. His voice is quiet and tinged with sadness.
“Yes,” I whisper. I was safer out there alone, now I’m scared every time the door opens that he’s come for me. At least when I was out there I could run, here I’m locked away.
“How long have you been here in New York?”
“Year,” I tell him. I have no idea what these questions are for and how they’re going to help him, but he’s not leaving me alone.
“The report I read mentioned that after your parents, you moved in with your uncle.”
My body stiffens just thinking about him. As much as I can control my emotions around people, I shiver with a rush of cold blood moving through my veins because no matter what I do, his will always be inside me.
I can feel his eyes on me. They're watching me so close, and his breathing has also picked up, it's faster than before. He saw my body react and he knows that I still fear my uncle and he'll tell him.
"You should get some sleep; the bed will keep you warm." I hear Leo leaving the room and as the door closes I let out a long deep breath to relax my body a little. I still haven't found any cameras in the house. When he was at work, I looked everywhere, but not one was found.
He asked me if I cleaned the kitchen like he didn't know I would. My rules were to make sure the house was clean, food was ready on the table, and I was in bed when he clicked his fingers. I know the rules, and I don't think I'll ever forget them. I didn't make food as there was no food in the house. Someone brought food to the house about ten minutes before he came home and that wasn't enough time to make anything so I would have taken the punishment over serving bad food. But tomorrow is another day, and I'll make it right.
Chapter 8
Leo
As I walk into the office, Jackson calls to say that he’s going to be there before he has to get to court.
He arrives, and I dive right in. "What do you have?" I ask.
“Morning to you too, had a bad morning?” Jackson sits at the table in front of me.
“She slept on the fucking floor again without a cover and had one forkful of breakfast. So, no, I didn’t have a good fucking morning,” I tell him. I have no idea what I should be doing to make her feel like I’m not going to hurt her.
Jackson leans back and just peers at me, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. I have no idea what he’s thinking but I already know I’m going to tell him to fuck off with whatever comes out of his mouth.
"I couldn't find much about Hope after her parents. I found a report about a missing eight-year-old, that girl was Hope." Jackson throws the file on the table and I start reading it. "Her uncle took her home. She was there for two days, then this report was filed."
“When I asked about her uncle, you should have seen her Jackson. Her body changed in ways I’ve not seen before. Whatever happened to her, he knows.” I put the papers in the drawer so that no one else can see them.
“I can’t find him. He left the house when his wife died. I’m going to talk to his son later,” Jackson says as I look at my phone lighting up. I see my dad calling me. I’ll call him back in a minute.
“Have you found him yet?" There's only one man that I want to find, that I want to see the fear in his eyes, the same way he did with me, and I won't rest until I kill him.
"You and I both know he's not going to be that easy to find. If he were, he'd be dead by now."
I know Jackson’s right. Five years we’ve been looking for him. It’s been longer for me, but I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I had to get Jackson in with me. He can find people a lot quicker than me and he knows what the man is. I saved him from there, so he’s happy to help.
Hearing the door open, I glance over and I see Katie walking toward us. She stands by the table, and I see Jackson checking her out.
"You're a dick. You know that, right?" I turn to him, then back to Katie. "And you're a fucking tease when he's here, so if you want to keep your job, I'd think twice about walking in here when this dick is here," I tell her. Now if he wants to fuck her, he can, but he can do it on his own fucking time, not mine.
Katie gives me a little nod and leaves the office.
Jackson gives me the middle finger. “I’m a dick? You’re a fucking asshole to her. I’m leaving. I have a meeting about Hope.” Jackson gets up and buttons his jacket. “I’ll call when I’m done.”
Not saying anything to him, I grab my phone as my dad rings again. “Leo, you have a meeting with—”
"Yes, Dad I know and I'm on my way." I have no idea why I have to even sit there and listen to them. I signed the papers, and nothing else matters now.
“Please listen to them.”
“I will.” I end the call and grab the file to refresh my memory on their pitch. I can’t even remember if I looked at it in the first place or not.
I’ve been looking for a man I want to kill; now I want to know everything about Hope. So, I don’t even have a second to think about anything else. I close my eyes just to give my mind a second to rest. But no matter what, I’ll always only breathe in the dark air around me and never anything else.
***
Well, the pitch was longer than it needed to be and I think I took in three words of what they were saying; told the marketing manager to take over the idea and work with them. I never work with any team, that's never been my thing. I sign and leave.
I call the house a few times but Hope never picks up, and I didn't think she would, but still there was a chance.
Walking into the house, I take in a deep breath as I smell dinner. After throwing my keys on the table next to the front door, I make my way through the house. She's been cleaning again. Even though I had a cleaner before Hope came here, there's something different about her cleaning. You can really see it. Stopping by the door, I watch her on her hands and knees wiping the floor clean. But she stops; she can feel me close. Keeping her head down, she stands up. I wish I knew what this whole thing about looking at me is. I could look at her face all day if she let me.
“First of all Hope, you don’t have to clean the house; second, if you want to that’s fine, but we have a mop.” I walk over to her. “I also have a maid to clean,” I remind her again. I haven’t brought her here to clean my house. I’ve brought her here to help her.
"It...I…" I hear her breathing a little louder. "I'm sorry," she says in the softest voice. I have no idea what she's saying sorry for, but I get a feeling that now is not the time to ask her. Taking a look around the kitchen, I see the oven is on, and I hear the dryer from the utility room. So, she’s even washed my clothes. What makes her think for a second that this is what I want from her? "I thought you were coming back later, food will still be an hour," Hope says taking a step back from me like she's scared of how I'm going to react about it.
“Thank you for making dinner, it smells amazing,” I say, taking my phone out of my pocket as it starts ringing. “What did you find out?” I ask Jackson as I take my suit jacket off. I turn to Hope as she takes it from my hands and places it on the chair for me.
"Well, Uncle Jack hasn't been seen by his son in five years. He said once his mom died, his dad just left and if we find him to kill him for leaving him and his sister alone," he tells me, and I sit on the chair.
"Hold on Jackson." I bring the phone to my shoulder and look over at Hope. "I'll keep an eye on dinner. You go have a shower, freshen u
p." Her body tightens up, and her fingers tap her thigh like she's fighting with herself about something. I watch her walk away and as soon as I hear the door close I get back to Jackson. "Did he say why he left?"
“No, he said that he woke up to find a letter saying that he could no longer do this and he had to leave.” Grabbing a cigarette, I light it and inhale deeply. “I asked about Hope,” Jackson adds.
“What did he say?”
“Told me he only saw her once, they had to go on vacation for the weekend. She arrived the day they were going and when they returned she was gone.”
How can someone just go missing that fast? What the fuck did he do to Hope for her to run in two days? "Find me someone for tomorrow," I tell him and then I end the call and throw my phone on the table. I can't help but think about her. A beeping sound to my left takes me out of my thoughts. Walking over to the oven, I turn the timer off and take out the oven dish to see what Hope has cooked. Lamb with potatoes and veggies and it smells incredible.
I knock on Hope’s door, nothing. Slowly opening it, I walk in and sit on the bed as I hear the bathroom door open. She exits with her head high but then drops the moment she feels me in the room.
“Dinner’s ready.”
I see her nod as she leaves the room again. My focus moves to the bathroom, and I pull my eyebrows together. Where’s the steam? I head into the bathroom; something doesn’t fit right with me there. Opening the shower, I place my hand on the floor. She had a fucking cold shower. I clutch my hands into fists. Why the fuck is she having a cold shower when it's not good for her? I can feel my blood boiling with anger. I'm giving her everything here, and she's not taking it, and I want to know why. Punching the mirror out of rage, I hear the glass hitting the sink.
