He, of course, thought of Jana and of his wife, as he often did when such a conversation came up. But to his surprise he found himself talking about it. He revealed the details of Ann’s death very matter-of-factly, without taking in the words that were coming out of his mouth.
“Everything was going fine, just as we had learned in Lamaze class. It was crazy and painful and intense and long, but as we expected. Ann was determined and strong, and she pushed Jana out in, maybe, six pushes. She held her for a few seconds and then said she was having trouble breathing, that she felt a tightness in her chest. They handed me the baby. I looked down at Jana’s beautiful little face in my arms; looked up at my wife, and she was gone. Just like that. She’d had a pulmonary embolism. A blood clot in her lungs.” His tone changed. “It’s the number one cause of death in childbirth. They don’t mention it in Lamaze. I had no idea.”
He paused a second or two for Alison to recover, and let her say, “I’m so sorry for all of you.”
He thanked her, and falsely added, “It was a long time ago,” as if he still didn’t feel like it had happened just yesterday. He changed the subject, asking Alison if she had bought a Halloween costume for the baby (she had, a peapod) and went right into his Halloween-with-a-teenage-daughter fears.
“I watch the neighborhood girls’ costumes change as they age. One year they ring my bell dressed as an astronaut or a clown or SpongeBob SquarePants, and the next year, suddenly a slutty clown or a slutty astronaut or SpongeBob NoPants! I’m not looking forward to that fight, but I know it’s coming. And don’t worry, I know I can’t use the word ‘slut’ in my argument!”
Alison was impressed that although he joked, he was clearly woke. This roller coaster of emotion coming from this beautiful specimen of a man had her heart thumping around in ways she had never quite felt before. Just as Jack poured out the last smidgen of wine, Zach woke up hungry.
“Can I pick him up while you make his bottle?” Jack asked.
“Please,” Alison responded, thinking both: This guy can’t be for real, and This must be what it’s like to have an extra set of hands. She took Zach back to feed him while Jack paid the bill and stopped to use the restroom. By the time he returned she had burped Zach, placed him back in the stroller in an upright position, and put a little hat on his head to block the sun. As they walked away, she thought about how hard she tried to do everything correctly. She looked down at her baby and suddenly revealed the thing that worried her most.
“Sometimes, when I look at him, I just wonder how badly I’m going to fuck him up.”
Jack laughed. “I felt the same thing when Jana was a baby. My mom told me something very cheesy, but it stuck with me, and it helped.” He hesitated but Alison coaxed him on. “She said a baby is like an apple seed. That tiny seed already contains everything needed to make an entire tree. The strong trunk, a host of branches, even the apples, it’s all predetermined in the DNA of that little seed. Most of the job is done. You just have to tend to it. Just like a baby.”
“I love that,” Alison responded. “Your mom sounds like she was a very smart woman.”
“She was. I miss her,” he said, and the melancholy in his eyes matched his words.
“I miss mine, too,” she said, with uncharacteristic vulnerability.
He wrapped his arms around her, slowly and purposefully, enveloping her in a sensation of both tenderness and strength. She sunk into his chest, giving of herself in a way that she never had before.
She couldn’t take it any longer. She placed her hands against the cut of his jaw, looked into his eyes, and kissed him. He responded with a desire he hadn’t felt in years, and all thoughts of needing to come clean before being intimate with her escaped his head. While they were both aware that they were standing in a public place, they continued kissing until they literally needed to break for air. There was a tender hunger between them that Alison was not used to. She considered asking him if he wanted to come back to her house. Though achingly aware that she had made the first move with their kiss, things were stirring so strongly in her she couldn’t bear not to satisfy them.
Jackie felt similarly and it stopped him in his tracks. He knew he had to tell her, and he knew it had to be done immediately. As he struggled to find the words, Jana bounded up, interrupting them.
“Hi, Daddy!” she exclaimed with a little extra sweetness in her words. She was clearly there to check out his date. He felt flustered—all worry of telling Alison the truth replaced with concern that Jana may have seen them making out like two teenagers in the middle of town. He rallied and introduced them.
“Hi, baby,” and then, “Alison, this is my daughter. Jana, this is Alison and her baby, Zach.”
“He is so cute,” Jana squealed. “If you ever need a babysitter!”
Alison allowed herself to envision this sweet girl caring for her baby. Maybe she would invite them both over for dinner next week.
“Did you eat?” Jackie asked, like the good parent that he was.
“I had pizza.”
“She gave half of it to a stray dog,” the boy next to her said, with a weird look of admiration in his eyes.
Jackie thought of the dog from the bulletin board, but he still had his head on enough not to blow his cover. That is until the boy put his hand casually on Jana’s back and rubbed it in a way that rendered him not just any boy. As if Jackie’s own horrifying thoughts weren’t enough, the voice of God came back, reminding him, Tampons lead to sex.
The boy(friend?) removed his hand from his daughter’s back and reached it out in introduction. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Campbell. I’m Conor. Conor Heslin.”
It was only then that Alison realized she hadn’t known Jack’s last name. Or had she? She was confused. It did sound familiar. The kid continued, “I’m a year ahead of Jana at Hudson.”
An older boyfriend, Jackie thought, while temporarily forgetting every other aspect of his life. All of the balls he’d been juggling dropped to the floor as he reached out his own hand and offered, “You can call me Jackie. All of Jana’s friends do.”
It only took a second for Jackie to comprehend what had happened, but of course it was too late. He felt the heat rush to his face in the way it does when you realize you’ve said the wrong thing and can’t take it back. He witnessed Alison snap to attention. Her revelation was evident in the change in her expression, from joyful to pained.
Jackie Campbell, the same name as her friend from the bulletin board. The one with the fourteen-year-old daughter. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as she searched her brain for a logical explanation.
“Conor and I are gonna head over to the Karma Sutra for matchachinos,” Jana said.
Jackie switched back into parenting mode. He wanted to say, “If you have caffeine now you’ll have trouble sleeping tonight,” but he refrained. His head was running in ten different directions. He went with, “Get a rain forest muffin. They’re wicked good,” and hammered the last nail in his coffin.
They smiled and went off. Jackie took a deep, cleansing breath to prepare his thoughts. Alison just stood there, waiting.
“I was just about to tell you.”
“Really? You expect me to believe that?”
She felt foolish for the feelings she’d had just a few seconds before, foolish for subscribing to the fairy-tale scenario that she had been eternally warned to reject. She even felt a little bit frightened and exposed—especially having exposed her baby to him. She adjusted Zach’s stroller and quickly walked away. He chased after her, careful not to make a scene but desperate to fix the situation.
“Alison, you have to believe me. I was just about to tell you the truth when they walked up!”
“I have to believe you?”
She was furious, and hurt. Oddly hurt, actually. She thought she’d found a prince and he was really a troll. She picked up her pa
ce while she vowed to never go down this quixotic road again. He followed. She stopped in her tracks and asked, “Is this a thing you do regularly? Catfish women online?”
“Cat-what?” He looked horrified. “No, let me explain! I didn’t know what to do when Jana got her first period. I was really lost, and my buddies from the train—you met them—they suggested I post on that ladies’ bulletin board. I really go by Jackie. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Alison kept her face free of expression—a technique she used in court to get people on the stand to further incriminate themselves—and continued toward home. He kept in pace with her.
“I would have told you right away, but it was never the right time. I’m not used to lying.”
“Well, you seem to have gotten the hang of it pretty quickly.”
“Come on, Alison, I stopped talking to you as Jackie as soon as we went out for dinner.”
She stopped again and thought. Did he?
And then she remembered his follow your heart advice and her fury rebounded.
“Seems like you can’t even keep your lies straight.” Alison the attorney’s shoulders squared.
Jackie was confused, and he should have countered, but he was more concerned with making things right.
“I should have told you on the train—or maybe when we were messaging. I don’t even know how I got in this deep. I’m so sorry. It’s just, I liked talking to you and then we met, and I really liked you and I was worried I’d blow it, that you would be angry and not want to see me again.”
Alison ran through what else she remembered of her Jackie conversations in her mind. She was instantly embarrassed and doubly pissed. She stopped and looked at him, and the corners of her mouth turned up into the smile that her opponents in court knew meant their defeat.
“Well, Mr. Campbell, you got two things right.”
He hadn’t known her long, but he could already see she’d closed herself off.
“I’m angry, and I never want to see you again.”
CHAPTER 32
Olivia & Spencer
It had been a week or so since Olivia had solved the mystery of the second phone. It was back in Spencer’s possession and everything had been seemingly fine. If anything, she thought that Spencer must think her a bit crazy, with her frequent fluctuations: She loves me, she loves me not. Right now, she loved him.
It was Saturday night and they actually had dinner plans with Steven Beck and his wife, Lauren. As she applied the finishing touches to her makeup, she wondered whether Spencer and Steven would talk about running together. She hated the thought of having to pretend she didn’t know about their morning ritual if it came up in conversation. She had since attributed Spencer’s secrecy about it to not wanting to hurt her feelings—his desire to run with his faster, stronger friend as opposed to his slower and out-of-shape wife. She thought about coming clean regarding the phone, but remembered what Andie Rand had said about snooping being a betrayal as well. She decided to keep her mouth shut.
Things were finally normal between Olivia and Spencer and that feeling of contentment was trickling down to encompass her whole being. She had been devouring a book on the landscape painters of the Hudson River School and even had a selection of watercolors and brushes in her Amazon cart, just waiting for her to push the button so she could set up her old easel on their back deck. She hadn’t painted in years, and though just a hobby, it relaxed her like nothing else.
What good would telling him do? she thought again, while dabbing one last coat of powder on her cheeks.
Spencer liked to take his Porsche out on the weekends instead of the family car. It was red and a bit showy for Olivia’s taste. And he definitely drove it too fast, but tonight she didn’t mind as much. When they stopped at a red light, Spencer rested his hand on Olivia’s bare knee. “You really look beautiful tonight.”
A couple of good nights’ sleep and the utter relief she’d been feeling had Olivia glowing with new energy. She even fit back into her favorite dress, a little black number by Max Hammer that she’d only had the chance to wear once before becoming pregnant. She ignored the fact that her weight loss had been stress and worry induced. When she looked in the mirror, she really did feel beautiful.
Her happiness soon soured to guilt, and by the time they got to the restaurant, Olivia couldn’t hold it in any longer. The thought of sitting with Steven Beck and listening to them talk about their runs without saying anything felt like she would be outright lying. Spencer reached to open the car door.
“Wait, Spence, I have to tell you something.”
She looked quite serious. He gave her his attention.
“I have to admit something to you, and I know it’s awful, and I’m really sorry.”
“You’re scaring me, Olivia. What is it?”
“I know about the second phone.”
Spencer’s face remained blank. He didn’t say anything, no explanation, no denial, nothing. His mind raced in every direction for the right words, but it was actually his silence that saved him. Olivia took it as anger and tried to talk her way out of it.
“You left it home the other day, and I’m sorry, but with all that went on with the bulletin board misunderstanding, I was still feeling doubtful, and I looked at it.”
Still nothing. Silence. He had no intention of incriminating himself, so he just shut up, his brain racing to recall what was on that phone that could ruin his marriage and ultimately his promotion. York Cosmetics’ latest campaign—a Family Company with Family Values—ran through his mind. The picture of him, Olivia, and Lily front and center. He had set everything up so perfectly. Even Ashley was convinced that they could have their cake and eat it, too.
Not knowing how else to break the silence, Olivia continued. “I know it’s just for running. I felt like such an idiot when I saw the pictures and the texts from Steven. I’m sorry, Spencer.”
He sighed a huge sigh of relief that Olivia interpreted as frustration and went for the spin.
“Wait, you had my phone the whole time I was looking for it?”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“This is crazy Olivia, I thought we were past this crap. Spying on me, really? Where is the trust?”
Olivia started to cry.
“I’m so sorry, Spencer. Please, please forgive me.”
He took a minute, for effect.
“Are we good now? Can we move on with our lives without you questioning everything I do?”
She wanted to say, I don’t question everything you do, but thought that, since he seemed to be forgiving her, she should just cut her losses.
“Yes. I’m so sorry. I’m done. Nothing like this will ever happen again.”
Spencer saw the Becks pull into the lot.
“They’re here. Wipe your eyes, please. I don’t want them to see that you were crying. They’ll of course assume I’m to blame.”
Olivia pulled down the visor mirror to fix her face while Spencer got out of the car. He walked right up to Steven and gave him a big frat-bro hug. During which he whispered in his ear, “We go running nearly every morning together, OK?”
He recognized the angry look on Steven’s face. Spencer had not been faithful to Olivia since the day they met, and Steven had bore witness to a lot of it. In fact, he’d been sitting right next to him on that fateful train to Florence when Olivia put down her book and stood with her coltlike legs and Julia Roberts smile, catching Spencer’s attention. Spencer had pointed at her and said, “She’s the one!” Spencer was not a romantic. Steven knew that if he were to have completed that sentence it would have been, “she’s the one who will meet with my parents’ approval.” Everyone knew that Spencer’s parents’ ways were not to be challenged if he was to succeed at his ultimate goal: to become CEO of York Cosmetics and ride the York family gravy train for life. That trajectory included being paire
d up with a girl with pedigreed DNA by graduation. Everyone knew, that is, except for Olivia.
The last time that Spencer asked Steven to cover for him, Steven had told him outright, “I am no longer your alibi.” He had always cared for Olivia and they were not frat boys anymore. Spencer knew Steven well enough to understand exactly what he was thinking. He added, “This is the last time, man, I swear.”
Beautiful Olivia walked up to greet them; a warm smile crossed her face. He nodded yes to Spencer, but more for her than him. They had just had a baby; he couldn’t take part in breaking her heart right now.
Once inside, Olivia knew enough not to bring up running or anything that would remind Spencer of her sneaky behavior. She was thankful that she’d told him, relieved to be liberated from her lie. He seemed to have forgiven her, for now at least, but she knew it would be the first thing he would bring up in a fight. He never fought fair.
Before dessert Spencer pulled Steven away to check the score of the baseball game at the bar. That was fine with Olivia. She liked Steven’s wife, Lauren, very much. She, too, had originally been a city girl. Though they’d moved out a year earlier than Spencer and Olivia, Lauren was still delighted to go through the city versus suburb laundry list of pros and cons with her. As they were rattling off the pros, from barbecues to closet space, Olivia innocently added, “And the guys get to run together again. That’s a plus!”
“Well, not since Steven started his new job. He has to be in the city by eight, poor guy, and he hates running at night.”
The men came back to the table in time for dessert: four spoons, one piece of cheesecake, and one giant lie about to be exposed.
Eliza Starts a Rumor Page 18
