by Lydia Rose
“She said she needed some time alone.” April wrapped her arm around Ann and kissed her softly. “How did it go?”
“I don’t know why Jess feels obligated to help Robin every time that girl screws up.”
“Does she still love her?” April asked leading Ann over to the couch.
“I don’t believe so, but I think it’s guilt. After all, Jess didn’t fight for Robin when they began to drift apart.”
“I guess we will just have to see how this works out.”
CHAPTER 22
Jessica walked into her apartment and watched as Robin sat on the couch holding a glass of wine and talking on her phone. Once she noticed Jessica, Robin ended the call. “Hi,” she said giving Jessica a smile.
“I need you to pack your things and leave,” she said showing little emotion.
“Why? You know I have nowhere to go, Jess.” Robin was now standing and moving closer to Jessica. “Baby, I won’t stay long, but you don’t really want me to leave.” Her finger was now trailing sexually down Jessica’s chest.
Stepping away from Robin’s touch, she said, “Yes, I do. You can check yourself into a motel until you find something.”
“This is all because of that woman that was here.” Robin spewed before finishing the last of her wine. “You’re still a weakling. Some woman tells you to get rid of me and you just let her lead you by the nose.”
“Taylor didn’t ask anything of me.” Jessica moved closer and pushed her finger harshly into Robin’s chest. “You have used me long enough. You show up here every few years because some woman saw the real you and tossed you into the street. I won’t be your doormat any longer.” Jessica’s face was beet red. “I asked you nicely, but now I’m telling you to get out. I’ll give you ten minutes.” She left the room and didn’t return until she heard the front door slam shut. “What have I done?” She now had her phone in her hand, listening to Taylor’s voicemail. Jessica waited for the beep. “Taylor, we need to meet so we can talk. Please call me.”
Two hours later, Taylor still hadn’t returned Jessica’s call. Picking up her phone again, she tried again. “Taylor, please I need to speak with you. I made a mistake and I’m sorry. Please don’t shut me out.”
Jessica’s phone beeped a few minutes later with a text. “There is nothing for us to discuss. Please do not contact me again. I need some space, Jess.”
That’s that. You lost her. Jessica found herself sliding to the floor sobbing.
CHAPTER 23
Two weeks had passed since Ann had been able to speak to Jessica. She left message after message, but all Jessica did was send a text saying she was fine. Ann and April had conversations about this situation and April found herself shut out by Taylor too. Both women were worried and decided that another weekend would not go by without seeing their best friends.
“I told you I was okay,” Taylor said when she opened the door to April.
“Your appearance tells me you’re lying. I’m worried about you, Taylor.” April pulled Taylor toward the living room and the couch. “Ann is worried about Jessica too.” Taylor looked at her friend, but didn’t comment. “You’re both suffering for no reason.”
“No reason. I give my heart to her and she just trampled it. She is no different than any of the other women I’ve dated. They stay until something better comes along.”
“It wasn’t like that, Taylor.”
“No? Because it sure felt like it. How could I ever trust her again?” Her head shook firmly. “Never again.”
*
Ann was not having any better luck with Jessica as they sat together talking. “She doesn’t want me, Ann. I destroyed the best thing that ever happened in my life.” Jessica got up and began pacing. “How could I be so stupid to let Robin in again? Worse yet, I didn’t tell Taylor the truth. I didn’t trust her to understand and now it’s over.” Her tears fell gently onto her cheeks as she tossed her hair back. “I am so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Jess. You made a mistake. This has happened to her before and now she won’t trust you.”
“I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t trust me either.” Jessica wiped at her cheeks and took a deep breath. “I have to forget about her and move on.”
“Is that what you really want, Jess?” Ann was now standing next to Jessica. “Honestly?”
“No, but I don’t have a choice.” Her voice drifted off to a whisper. “I’ll always love her, but I have to accept her choices.”
*
Ann and April met up after their visits with their best friends. “So?” April asked and watched Ann shake her head. “Yeah, me too. They are both being stubborn.”
“So, are we giving up?” April asked.
“Hell no. I don’t know what we are going to do, but I am not going to let two people who belong together throw that away.”
“Let’s make a promise,” April said taking Ann’s hand. “I don’t want to jeopardize our own relationship in trying to get them back together.”
“I promise, April.” Ann sealed that promise with a kiss.
CHAPTER 24
“Are you sick?” Kay asked walking into Taylor’s office.
“No,” Taylor answered quietly. “I just didn’t get a lot of sleep this weekend.”
“What, did you and Jess spend the weekend in bed?” Kay asked laughing. She was so happy that her friend finally found someone to care about. The look on Taylor’s face told her that wasn’t the case. “What happened?”
“We broke up. Jess went back to an old girlfriend.”
“No,” Kay said loudly, “I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it, Kay. I saw her at Jess’s apartment.” Taylor lowered her head. “I knew our relationship was too good to be true.”
“You’re just going to give up on her and walk away?” Kay leaned over the desk to capture Taylor’s gaze.
“She dropped me the moment her ex came back into her life. I am not going to grovel.”
“Grovel? You should be fighting to keep her. You love her, Taylor.”
“It’s over, Kay. Let it go, because I have.”
Kay left the office in a huff and picked up her cellphone when she returned to her office. “Hi, April. I’m sorry to bother you.”
“Taylor and Jess?”
“Yes. What’s going on?” Kay asked trying to understand. April explained what had happened since Thursday. “No wonder Taylor is hurt. I can’t believe that Jess did that to her.”
“It’s not what you think, Kay. That woman has used Jess most of her life and she just doesn’t know how to handle her.”
“She could have told her to hit the road.”
“Yes, she could have. Jess knows she made a mistake.”
“I hope Taylor can get past this. She’s had enough of women treating her like crap.”
“You don’t think we should try to get them back together?” April asked surprised by Kay’s words.
“No. What’s to say Jess won’t do this again? I don’t want Taylor to go through this again.”
April didn’t offer that she and Ann were going to do everything they could to get these two to sit down and have a discussion. If they couldn’t work it out, at least they would have tried. “I hear you, Kay. We both want what’s best for Taylor, but I’m not sure it is to live without Jess.”
“I’m going to do whatever I can to protect my friend. I would hope that you would do the same.” Kay’s frustration was evident and she released a loud groan. “I could smack Jess for doing this to Taylor.”
April let out a forced chuckle. “I know, Kay. Everything will work out.”
“I hope you’re right, April.”
*
Taylor spent the week working as many hours as she could. She hoped that exhaustion would help her to sleep at night, but after several hours of sleep she found herself wide awake. Standing in the shower trying to clear the fog from her brain she began to cry. Her tears started as soft sobs, but the longer she stood there the
harder she began to cry. It just wasn’t fair she thought. She finally found someone that brought joy to her heart and the sex was nothing like anything she had experienced and then it all fell apart.
Taylor’s cellphone rang before she left the house. “Hello, April,” she said gathering her things.
“How are you, honey?”
“How do you think I am?” she asked, void of any emotion.
“Meet me after work.”
“I can’t, April. I’ve got too much work to do.” Taylor put the call on speaker as she reached for her coat.
“You have to take a break sometime. Meet me at the coffee shop at five- thirty.”
“Why?” Taylor asked leaving her apartment.
“So we can talk.”
“Talk about what? I have no interest in talking about Jess.”
“Okay. I still want to see you. Please, Taylor.”
“Five-thirty,” she said before disconnecting the call.
*
“What is it you two wanted to talk about?” Jess asked as they walked into the coffee shop.
“Let’s get our coffee and sit down,” Ann answered, already standing in line.
Unfortunately, the only table available was right in front of the window. The three women took their seats. Jess sipped her coffee and stared out the window as if the other women weren’t there. Her eyes watched the movement outside, but she saw nothing. It wasn’t until a shadow crossed her vision that Jessica focused. She watched as Taylor looked at her and then turned to April. Taylor’s eyes lowered and she shook her head before she turned toward the way she had come and walked away.
“Shit,” April said before she got up and went after her friend. “Taylor. Please don’t leave.”
Taylor spun on her heels. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? I told you I don’t want to talk to her.”
“All I wanted you to do was to speak with her.” April took a breath. “If you can’t work it out, then I will back off.”
“No, April. You are going to back off now. I have nothing to say to her. Ever again. Do you hear me?” Taylor’s voice was low, but April could hear her anger. “Say you hear me?”
“I hear you.” April stood there watching as Taylor got into her car and pulled away.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” Jessica asked grabbing Ann’s arm. “You’ve only made it worse. Taylor probably thinks this was my idea.” The tears in her eyes were evident to Ann, but she blinked them away. “You two have to accept the fact that Taylor wants nothing to do with me.” Jessica pushed past April when she came back into the coffee shop.
Taylor couldn’t even remember driving back to her apartment. She only became conscious when she pulled into her parking space at the apartment. She sat there remembering what just happened. Taylor saw the shocked expression on Jessica’s face and knew she hadn’t been part of that little scheme that April and Ann had planned. It still didn’t make her feel any better, but at least she had something in her favor. No doubt April and Ann would stop trying to get them together once and for all after this fiasco.
CHAPTER 25
April had only tried to reach Taylor once over the last week. She didn’t return the call because she wasn’t ready to speak with her yet. Taylor had been hurt that her friend went against her wishes and didn’t take her feelings into consideration.
Taylor carried her basket around the grocery store picking up a few things for home. She had skipped dinner or had takeout on too many nights and it was time to start eating properly again. As she walked toward the vegetables another figure was walking in the same direction. The other woman was oblivious to her presence until she looked up. Taylor watched as a small smile appeared on the other woman’s face.
“Hello, Taylor,” Jessica said almost in a whisper. Her dark eyes danced as she watched the blank face in front of her. She watched as Taylor looked around the store as if she were looking for someone. It hit Jessica and she said, “Ann and April aren’t here. I want you to know that I wasn’t involved in their scheme.” She moved slightly closer and waited for Taylor to comment. When she didn’t, Jessica continued, “You asked me to give you space and I’ve honored that request.” Moving again until she was standing in front of the woman she wanted to reach out and touch. “How are you, Taylor?” She watched as Taylor stood there mute and asked, “Are you ever going to speak with me again?”
Taylor’s face went from placid to hurt. “Not today,” she answered before walking away.
By the time Jessica got to the front of the store, she saw Taylor walking to her car in the parking lot.
Taylor couldn’t even remember driving home. When she pulled into her parking space at her apartment, she felt the tears on her cheeks. It took all of her will not to reach out and touch Jessica. To pull her into her arms and beg Jessica to choose her, but she left her standing there without doing any of those things. All thoughts of eating left her mind as she stripped off her clothes and she fell into bed hoping at least she could get some sleep.
CHAPTER 26
It had been a month since Taylor and Jessica had been together. Little by little Taylor was getting her life together. Instead of every moment of the day thinking about Jessica, she only entered her mind when she allowed herself to stop working. The software was weeks behind because she had not been able to concentrate enough to move the project forward.
“Hey,” Kay said coming into Taylor’s office. “It’s ladies’ night Saturday night and I won’t take no for an answer.”
“What are we doing?” Taylor asked trying to muster some form of enthusiasm.
“Dancing,” Kay answered spinning around the room.
“No thank you. I do not want to be pawed by some guy.”
“Oh, we are not going to a straight bar,” she said grinning. “We’re going to that bar you used to hang out in.”
“No, we are not. Julia will drink too much and go crazy and Monica will follow suit.” Her head kept shaking no. “Besides, the last time I went out with you three to a bar, it turned out badly.”
“They promised to be on their best behavior and I don’t want to be pawed by some guy either. Jim would have a fit.”
“But he’s okay with you dancing with some woman?” she asked raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Kay lowered her voice. “I think it turned him on and I will have a great night when I get home,” she said with a wink.
“You’re a pervert, Kay,” Taylor said pointing her finger.
“Hey, I’ve been married for ten years. Anything to help my sex life can’t hurt.”
“Didn’t the outfit help?” Taylor asked wiggling her eyebrows.
Kay laughed. “Oh yeah. I think I had that thing on for five minutes before he tore it off my body.”
*
The dinner with the women had been a great help to Taylor’s psyche. She had missed the camaraderie these women had for each other. Walking into the bar only to find it very crowded, they made their way to the back of the bar and found an empty table. Drinks were ordered and Taylor gazed around the room. Seeing a woman walking toward their table, she averted her eyes.
“Hello, ladies. Haven’t seen you in here before,” she said scanning the women at the table. Kay, Julia and Monica were wearing dresses and Taylor was the only one wearing pants. The woman continued, “I don’t think you three really belong here,” she said.
“Why because we’re wearing dresses and she isn’t?” Kay asked pointing to Taylor.
“No.” She turned to Taylor. “Should I explain it to them or would you like to?”
Taylor chuckled and waved her hand. “No. You go ahead.”
“It’s called gaydar, ladies, and I can tell by one look that you three are out of your element.” She looked down at Taylor. “Would you like to dance?”
“Sure,” Taylor answered standing up. Turning back to the women, she added, “Don’t get into trouble.”
Kay shouted before Taylor could escape. “Rem
ember, we’re here to have fun too.”
“The name is Chris,” the woman said taking Taylor’s hand.
“Taylor,” she said feeling Chris pull her into her arms. The song had a Latin beat and Chris led her easily around the dance floor. As she spun Taylor away her eyes caught a face against the wall. She tried to look over her shoulder, but Chris kept her facing her.
“Is something wrong?” Chris asked into her ear.
“I thought I saw someone I knew.”
“Where?”
“Against the wall over my shoulder.” Chris looked where Taylor had indicated and turned Taylor around. “I guess I was mistaken,” she said with a shake of her head. The song ended and Taylor looked at Chris. “Thanks for the dance.”
“Are you running away from me?” Chris asked grinning.
“Not running. Just leaving.” She watched Chris give a slight bow and walked the other way. As Taylor left the dance floor, she stopped in her tracks.
“May I have the next dance?”
She was here and Taylor was ready to say no, but the music began and she nodded her head. “Yes.” Jessica put her hands on Taylor’s waist as she felt the other woman’s hands on her shoulders. Their bodies were close, but never touched as the ballad played. “This song sounds familiar,” she said close to Jessica’s ear.
“It was playing the night you stood next to me in the club,” Jessica answered glancing at the blue eyes.
Taylor gave a slight nod and listened to the words of ‘Insatiable.’ Was Jessica trying to convey something in the lyrics she heard over the speakers? Lost in the music, Taylor’s hands moved into the hair that sat on Jessica’s collar. Her fingers feathered through the soft hair and Jessica pulled their bodies closer. Taylor could feel the tug between her legs as their bodies rested against each other. The music ended, but the women were still moving in each other’s arms. The loud beat finally broke them apart and their eyes looked at each other.
