Destructive King

by Rachel Van Dyken

  And I couldn’t love that.

  Or be okay with it.

  But what could I do?

  She was the love of his life, and I was the orphan girl who literally didn’t stop wanting him, needing him, pushing him, caring for him.

  I was basically the nurse until she was all better and decided to come back and actually own up to her horrible mistakes.

  How the hell was she even alive?

  Thunder roared.

  Rain fell.

  Just like my tears.

  Just like that first night, I tried to take her place—not for me, for him.

  A door opened, and then Ash’s voice sounded. “Are you trying to flood the house now, or is this another weird fetish?”

  I looked up, vision blurry. “W-what are you doing here?”

  Slowly, Ash went to the shower, turned it off, peeled his drenched shirt over his head, and tossed it to the floor in a loud thunk. He went to the sinks next, his eyes never leaving mine, and then he knelt next to me and smiled. “Kind of live here.”

  “What?” What was happening? Where was Claire? Why was he here? In my room?

  “In this house,” he corrected. “Not this room, keep up.” He reached for my chin and tilted it up toward him. “They should be gone by now.”

  “What? Huh? What are you—” I fought against him, but he held me tight.

  And just like the rain, I fell.

  Every last tear just released from my body as I banged him with my fists, wishing he would love me more, knowing he couldn’t.

  “I hate you!” I yelled. “I hate you!”

  “I know.” He gripped me tighter against him. “I know.”

  “Leave then!” I shoved against his chest, but he refused to move. “Just leave! Go with her! Be happy!”

  “But I’m not!” He set me on my feet. “Not without you. I go nowhere without you. Don’t you see? This is how it’s meant to be. You and me. I didn’t see it before. I refused to. I ignored the signs, the fights, everything, because how could someone, how? Just how?” He sighed, lowering his head until it touched mine. “She lied about the baby.”

  I gasped and immediately touched my own stomach. “Wh-what?”

  “She lied.” He kissed my head. “It was her twisted way of thinking I’d change my mind about my job—the one you saw and experienced the other night.”

  “But why?” I couldn’t fathom it. “Why?”

  He kissed my head again. “Exactly why I love you.”

  “No!” I shook my head. “I can’t do it, Ash, I can’t do some goodbye screw before you leave me, I can’t, I can’t! Please just go!”

  He started carrying me down the stairs despite my fighting him and then stopped at the bottom. “Where the hell would I go?”

  “With Claire!” I screamed in defeat. “Why are you still here?” So she lied, that didn’t mean he didn’t love her!

  “Oh Annie, I thought I told you before… when that bomb was in my room, when you were there with your light, your goodness.” He tilted my chin up toward him and whispered. “Because here is where you are.”

  His mouth covered mine.

  I gasped; his tongue was invasive, his body hot.

  The cool night air hit me as he carried me outside. “I thought I said pool in five minutes—”

  “But Ash.”

  “We can talk later,” he whispered. “Until the stars fall.”

  I froze beneath his kiss. “Ummm.”

  “You.” He kissed me again and then, “It was you wasn’t it? That night? Not Claire?”

  Tears fell again. “Yes, and I’m so sorry. I got pregnant, and I didn’t tell you, and I told your dad, and then I lost him—”

  Ash went completely still next to me. “Wh-what?”

  I’d never heard him stutter before or miss a beat.

  Rain poured down around us as I yelled. “I’m sorry.”

  “For getting… what?”

  I pulled away. “Pregnant. Obviously, it wasn’t planned, and you were so mean to me, so hurt…” I hugged myself or attempted to, but he just refused, pulling me into his lap and kissing every inch of my face. “It’s okay—I lost the baby, in Italy.”

  “No! No!” he roared, hands shaking, body pale as his swollen lips descended. “Never. It will never be okay. What the hell? You did that alone? Without me? And I was… I was…” He stumbled a bit.

  I clung to him as he lowered us fully clothed into the warm pool, near the shallow end where our chaos started over a year ago. “Ash, really.”

  “Annie… really,” he deadpanned. His expression softened. “You lost a baby—our baby—without me by your side. That’s unforgivable. I really am the devil.”

  “Ash.” I sighed. “Really, you’re here now… right?”

  “I’m not leaving your side.” He vowed as his voice cracked. “And as of right now, you’re not leaving mine.”

  “But—”

  “Mine.” He captured my mouth. “Forever.”

  I pulled back with a sad smile. “And Claire?”

  “On a flight out tomorrow,” he said without remorse. “I’m not saying that we don’t have a lot of shit to go over, but I do know one thing.” He kissed me roughly again. “It’s you. And if she in all her mistakes brought me you? I can’t be mad. I can’t.”

  I laughed, and then a tear escaped. “That was very romantic for such an asshole.”

  His smile was sad. “I try.” He spun me against the shallow end stairs. “Now, let me show you how much I love you.”

  “Drown me in it, Ash, drown me.” I whimpered as he pulled me into the deep end and started to kiss.

  Clothes came off in slow motion.

  And then it was just us.

  Finally joined.

  Him pressing me up against the wall, my hair a tangled mess as he tugged and pulled. My lips parted as his tongue met mine.

  And as the rain poured.

  As he thrust into me.

  I welcomed him home.

  To our home.

  “I missed you when you were gone…” he confessed. “I missed you every day.”

  “I missed you too,” I cried out when he kissed down my neck, his fingers finding my core. “So much.”

  Baptized.

  Reborn.

  Or maybe just… living.

  He was mine.

  I was his.

  Regardless of the past.

  This.

  This destructive chaos was our future.

  Hours later, I was sprawled out across him. “You awake?”

  “Yeah.” His voice was hoarse. “You?”

  “Obviously.” I laughed.

  “Asking me to leave this life… my family,” he started. “It’s like taking a knife to my heart. It’s in my blood. My veins. My bones.”

  “I would never ask you to,” I said simply. “First off, the world’s a safer place with your rage firmly in it—and second he asks, well second, how could anyone be upset over how you protect your blood? Your family? It’s heroic.”

  “I kill people.” He groaned.

  I smiled against him. “When you put it that way…”

  “Does your dad know she showed up?”

  “Oh, he heard us yelling at each other at about the same time Phoenix, Tank, and every other boss came running out half-drunk and confused and by then Junior and Serena had run out of the house, and well let’s just say Claire had a lot of sorries to say—she owes you one too. But not now.”

  “I don’t. I can’t.” Panic rose in my chest. “I don’t know if I can see her.”

  “Your choice.” I kissed her on the nose. “According to a very apologetic and sad text from Scary Dad, her flight back to New York leaves in the morning.”

  I tried to keep it in but couldn’t. I just couldn’t. “How could she?” And then. “I gave her my pearls, I gave—”

  “About that.” Ash made a face in the dark. A guilty face. A rare face. “I kind of couldn’t stand to see you lay the only th
ing your mom had given you down into the dirt, so I replaced them with a fake set and had yours cleaned. They’re in the right drawer of my nightstand.”

  “What? You did that?”

  Ash ignored my question with one of his own. “One more thing.” He kissed my lips softly. “Did I hurt you… that night?”

  “You freed me,” I found myself saying.

  “Until the stars fall,” he whispered.

  I froze. “You mean the sky?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I like this version better—our version. Until the stars fall.”

  “Until the stars fall,” I whispered against his skin.

  Epilogue

  “Life is not a problem but a reality to be experienced.”— Soren Kierkegaard

  Tank

  I rode with Annie to the airport.

  I saw her confront Claire.

  There were tears.

  Yelling.

  Hugging.

  And then… this huge part of Ash’s life, of Annie’s, just flew off.

  It was better that way.

  For everyone. For the healing that needed to take place, though, I knew, it had wrecked a lot of us, made our trust just a bit frayed.

  Especially when it came to me still being in the FBI, playing both sides as much as I could.

  Which left me here, at the Capo’s compound celebrating Spring Break and drinking wine, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  “Listen up!” Serena pulled out a whistle and blew it while everyone was groaning from hangovers for the last night. “We’re going on a trip!”

  “My mouth literally tastes like sand and not the nice kind full of colors but the rotten kind and shit, whoever that is, stop mouth breathing!” Maksim groaned.

  “It’s the cat.”

  “We don’t have a cat.” Ash fell back against Annie like he needed about a million more years of sleep after all their noise last night in the bathroom during movie night. It’s like they never slept.

  Only. Sex.

  As if on cue, something randomly meowed. The hell?

  “Who the fuck stole a cat last night?” Valerian roared.

  Maksim looked down at the scratches on his chest. “I admit nothing until my lawyer is present.”

  “He just wanted some pussy,” King piped up and then burst out laughing, earning groans from everyone around them.

  I was still seeing double thanks to no sleep after trailing behind Kartini, who did nothing but taunt me at every single opportunity. When she wasn’t wearing low cut outfits, she was talking about another tattoo or piercing, and when she wasn’t drinking, she was vaping, and when she wasn’t doing any of those things, she was dancing or binge-watching.

  She was the epitome of a sleep study for the FBI—survive her, and congrats, you can do your job without going insane.

  So a vacation?

  Sounded incredible.

  Thank God I wouldn’t have to go.

  “So we decided to elope.” Serena grinned. Was she seriously still talking? “And all of you are going to be there, and we do mean all of you.” I literally hid behind a bottle of booze only to earn a glare from Serena that said she could clearly see what I was trying to do.

  “Looks like we’re gonna be spending a lot more time together then, huh, Tank?” Kartini squeezed my thigh.

  My body shook. Yup, I was definitely going to puke.

  “I uh, have a thing.” I lied out my ass.

  “Change it.” Serena glared, clearly eavesdropping. “Or I’ll march my ass right up to headquarters holding my hot pink gun and—”

  “Fine…” I groaned.

  “Your gun is pink?” Annie asked.

  Serena just shrugged. “Feminism?”

  “No, that’s not really how that works…” Violet and Annie shared a grin before Serena had everyone’s attention again.

  “Come on, it will be fun!” She shrugged. “Plus, some of the bad guys are gone; Ash isn’t acting like he’s possessed anymore because he’s actually eating normal food and getting regular sex from someone who loves him and isn’t a soul-sucking virus—” She took a deep breath. “—Sorry not over it.”

  “Meh.” Kartini and Izzy both waved her off.

  The guys grunted in unison.

  Because in the grand scheme of things? Real, fucking, shitty thing to do to someone you claim to love.

  “Sooooo?” Serena clasped her hands together. “Come on, assholes, just say yes.”

  “Yes.” Everyone said with the excitement of no sleep and too much alcohol, and I could have sworn before I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep again, Kartini grinned over at me and said…

  “Welcome to hell big guy, welcome to hell.”

  Want More RVD?

  Did you enjoy Destructive King?

  Then check out these other Mafia Romances!

  The Eagle Elite World encompasses three separate series that can each be read on its own: Eagle Elite (Italian Mafia), Elite Bratva Brotherhood (Russian Mafia), and Mafia Royals (the next generation). Pick a couple you want to know more about and enjoy!

  Eagle Elite

  Elite (Nixon & Trace’s story)

  Elect (Nixon & Trace’s story)

  Entice (Chase & Mil’s story)

  Elicit (Tex & Mo’s story)

  Bang Bang (Axel & Amy’s story)

  Enforce (Elite + from the boys POV)

  Ember (Phoenix & Bee’s story)

  Elude (Sergio & Andi’s story)

  Empire (Sergio & Val’s story)

  Enrage (Dante & El’s story)

  Eulogy (Chase & Luciana’s story)

  Exposed (Dom & Tanit’s story)

  Envy (Vic & Renee’s story)

  Elite Bratva Brotherhood

  RIP (Nikolai & Maya’s story)

  Debase (Andrei & Alice’s story)

  Mafia Royals Romances

  Royal Bully (Asher & Claire’s story)

  Ruthless Princess (Serena & Junior’s story)

  Scandalous Prince (Breaker & Violet’s story)

  Destructive King (Asher & Annie’s story)

  Mafia King (Tank & Kartini’s story)

  Fallen Dynasty (TBA)

  Rachel Van Dyken & M. Robinson

  Mafia Casanova (Romeo & Eden’s story)

  Falling for the Villain (Juliet Sinacore’s story)

  Acknowledgments

  This is the part that’s so freaking hard for me to do.

  Because it takes a village.

  It does.

  It takes so many people to help get a book out there.

  And then there’s the husband, two kiddos (YAY, we added a newborn to the mix—NO STRESS, lol).

  And even then, as I’m sitting here typing this, I’m like, how did this book even get finished? After writing until 5 am, having poor Jill going, heyyyyyyy this is great, but maybe don’t fall asleep while your hands are still on the laptop next time, m’kay?

  This book was destructive.

  To my sanity.

  To my time.

  To everything.

  Because it needed to be felt, and sometimes we aren’t in the best headspace (looking at you 2020) to experience those things. So to anyone reading this right now, just know, I feel you, I see you (you aren’t invisible). Yes, it sucked, but yes we can power through anything just like Ash did—just like you will.

  Wow, I think I just got confused between an acknowledgment and church, but here’s the thing. You’re gonna be okay, and sometimes we just need someone to tell us that.

  The end.

  Jill, you were so patient. Thank you for being such an ear for this story and not judging me when I literally needed about a billion voice texts with you to even flush out how we were gonna do this and how it was gonna go down. I kept your notes when you said THIS, EPIC, YES, they won’t even know what’s coming because it encouraged me so much as I wrote.

  To my husband, Nate, and my sons, you are my everything. Thank you for your constant encouragement and patien
ce. Nate, thanks for always being like it’s cool, go ahead and DoorDash! Again.

  For the millionth time this month.

  I always thank God because without him, man, I would be so lost (yet again looking at 2020). I’m so thankful for my faith and for what it’s brought me in such tumultuous times.

  Thank you to my beta readers, Tracey, Yana, Jill, Kristin, Krista, Stephanie, Georgia, Candace—you guys make my job so much easier with your amazing feedback!

  To the Rockin’ Readers, man, you guys are like family; you KNOW you are. I’m so thankful for our safe space and basically the best group on Facebook, so many strong women and men in that group. I am nothing without you guys!

  To the rest of my admins, my team Angie, Heather, Dannae, Becca, new Heather P, lol.

  To my ARC team and my bloggers, I so appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedules to even read my books. I’m so thankful.

  If you wanna follow my shenanigans, I’m horrible at Tik Tok, but on Insta @RachVD and on Facebook & Twitter.

  YOU ROCK!

  Blood in, no out.

  About The Author

  Rachel Van Dyken is the #1 New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling author of over 90 books ranging from contemporary romance to paranormal. With over four million copies sold, she’s been featured in Forbes, US Weekly, and USA Today. Her books have been translated in more than 15 countries. She was one of the first romance authors to have a Kindle in Motion book through Amazon publishing and continues to strive to be on the cutting edge of the reader experience. She keeps her home in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, adorable sons, naked cat, and two dogs. For more information about her books and upcoming events, visit www.RachelVanDykenauthor.com.

  Also By Rachel Van Dyken

  Kathy Ireland & Rachel Van Dyken

  Fashion Jungle

  Rachel Van Dyken & M. Robinson

  Mafia Casanova (Romeo & Eden’s story)

  Falling for the Villain (Juliet Sinacore’s story)

  Eagle Elite

  Elite (Nixon & Trace’s story)

  Elect (Nixon & Trace’s story)

  Entice (Chase & Mil’s story)

  Elicit (Tex & Mo’s story)