“Well, let’s hope I have the answer.”
“When you and dad were dating, did he ever give you anything that sealed the deal for you guys?”
“What do you mean, sealed the deal?” she asked.
“You know, letting both of you know that you weren’t going to kick it with other people.”
“Kick it?” she asked again.
“Date…go out with…you know what I mean.”
She smiled. “If you’re asking, when did we start going steady, then it was when your dad gave me a hope chest.”
“A hope chest? What’s that?”
Her eyes lit up, as she went back. “It was a wooden cedar chest, intended to be filled with things that a couple would use in the future, together.”
“I’m not looking to ask her to marry me,” he said.
“I know that,” the heavy-set woman said. “A hope chest was sort of a promise that…”
“That’s ridiculous,” Billy said, laughing. “If you’re not going to help me, then…”
She shook her head. “Why don’t you buy her a video game then?” she suggested sarcastically.
He laughed.
She grabbed the car keys from her purse and threw them to him. “Stay awake,” she said, smiling.
“I will,” Billy promised, as he headed for the front door. “Do they even make hope chests anymore?” he asked on his way out.
“I’m not sure,” she yelled back. “You can have mine if you want.” She then laughed loudly enough to wake the folks who lived on the next street over.
Billy jumped into the driver’s seat, grabbed his cell phone and dialed. “Sorry about not calling you last night, babe, but I finished up late,” he told Vicki. “I’ll be there just as soon as I can.”
“I can’t wait,” she said, “but please don’t speed. I want you in one piece.”
“I want you too,” he said, hoping they were talking about the same thing.
She giggled. “Just hurry,” she said, “but be safe.”
He jumped off the cell phone and fired up his mom’s car. It was hot out, the type of heat that made you wish you could peel off a few more layers. Billy stomped on the gas and headed straight to Vicki’s.
I want her so bad, he thought, shifting a few times in his seat. While his subconscious took control of the steering wheel, his conscious mind pictured Vicki naked—finally pulling him onto her. Oh my God, he thought, I want her so… Suddenly, his eyes caught a ball of matted fur dart across a narrow alley. Instinctively, his right foot searched for the brake pedal and the car slowed to a crawl. It’s a dog, he thought, immediately turning the car around to investigate.
Billy pulled up to the mouth of the alleyway and parked. He got out of the car and stepped lightly into the shadows. As he expected, a brown, mangy stray was half-concealed behind an overflowing dumpster. Billy whistled softly. The skeleton-thin dog wedged itself deeper into the corner. “It’s okay, buddy,” he whispered. “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help you.” Billy hurried back to his mother’s car and grabbed the strip of beef jerky he’d spotted on the passenger seat—probably meant for Jimmy, he thought. Returning to the alley, he took a seat against the wall near the dumpster and threw a piece of the dried beef a few feet out in front of him. It only took a moment before the stray stirred behind the dumpster. “Looks like your nose works well enough,” he told the hiding dog. It took a lot longer—three or four minutes—before the mutt peeked its head out, its eyes darting nervously between Billy and the beef jerky. “I won’t hurt you,” Billy whispered again, “I promise.” He could see the anguish in the poor dog’s eyes, as the animal weighed the pains of starvation against the risk of being abused at the hands of a stranger. Hunger finally won out and the mutt lunged for the beef. He hadn’t chewed twice when Billy tossed him another small piece, not allowing the dog the time to retreat back behind the dumpster. “You’re okay,” Billy said calmly. “You’re okay. I’m here to help you.” One small piece of beef at a time, the emaciated dog crept closer to Billy, a fragile trust being forged between them with each small step. Nearly an hour had passed before Billy placed his hands on the trembling dog and gently petted him. Another half hour went by before he was able to entice the poor animal into his mom’s car.
A cursory exam revealed two recent wounds, dark stains of blood disguised within the dirty, matted fur. “You’ve been in a fight recently,” Billy told him, “and we need to get you fixed up before it gets infected.”
Billy wrapped the mutt in a blanket, lay him on the passenger seat and was heading toward the shelter when he pictured Vicki’s face again. “Oh shit,” he told the dog and reached for his cell phone to discover that he’d missed five calls. “She must be very unhappy with me,” he told the skittish dog. And that’s when it hit him. One minute, he was fantasizing about having sex with Vicki and then for the next two hours he didn’t give her gorgeous body another thought. Instead, his only concern was the safety and well-being of another lost, four-legged soul. “Vicki will get over it,” Billy told the dog, nodding. “I’ll call her later when we get to the shelter.” He stroked the mutt’s matted fur. “After we get you cleaned up and fed and treated by the vet.”
As if he understood, the brown stray crawled a little bit closer to Billy.
“That a boy,” Billy said, filled with a sense of purpose he’d never imagined feeling. “You’re going to be as good as new before you know it.” He laughed. And now I’m starting to sound just like Arlene, he thought, quickly adding, and that’s not such a bad thing.
Billy called Vicki on his way to her house. Wait ’til she hears what I just did, he thought, his mind immediately returning to her beautiful body. With any luck, we’ll do some real celebrating tonight.
“Hello?” she answered, clearly perturbed.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” he blurted. “I was on my way to your house and…”
“Oh, Billy,” she blurted, “thank God you’re okay! I’ve been worried sick.”
“I’m sorry, Vicki,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you worry. On my way to your house, I saw a wounded stray that hadn’t eaten in a while, so I had to stop and rescue him.”
“That’s wonderful, Billy, it really is,” she said sincerely, “but why couldn’t you take a minute to return my calls or texts?” The question was clearly more inspired by worry than anger.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “My phone was on vibrate and the dog was in such poor shape that I became completely absorbed with saving him.”
“I’m glad you saved the dog, babe,” she whispered, her breathing changing from tense to relieved. “I am. It’s just that I was scared and didn’t know if something had happened to you.”
“Something did,” Billy said, excitedly.
“And what’s that?”
“I saved an animal that needed to be saved,” he whispered, proudly—conveying just how important the act was to him.
There was a pause. “I’m sorry, Billy,” she said, her voice now gentle and loving. “I’m proud of you. It’s just that when I hadn’t heard from you, the first thing I thought about was my cousin’s accident and…” She stopped.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he blurted, his voice overwhelmed with more emotion than appropriate for the situation. Vicki’s words were so sincere and unexpected that his eyes swelled with tears. The moment slapped him hard upside the head. It’s time to tell her, he thought. Just tell her and get it over with once and for all. “We need to talk, Vicki,” he managed. “I’ll be there soon.”
⁕
All twisted up inside, Billy rang the doorbell. The weeks of anxiety—being torn over divided loyalties and failed moral obligations—made him feel sick. As he tried running over some painless confession in his mind, Vicki’s brother, Barry, answered the door—throwing him completely off guard. “What’s up?” the muscle head sa
id, stepping back to let Billy in.
“What’s up?” Billy said, struggling to get a foothold on reality. “Hey, you’ll be a senior this year, playing for varsity, huh?” he said, grasping to make a connection with the teenager.
Barry gawked at him, as though he was trying to summon enough interest to provide an answer. He finally nodded. “I started for varsity last year,” he grumbled in response, clearly annoyed with having to waste his breath.
“Oh,” Billy said, “what position?”
“Defensive end,” he said, and started up the stairs. “Vicki, Billy’s here,” he yelled before slamming his bedroom door behind him
“All righty then,” Billy said, while waiting alone in the living room. As he scanned past the photo on the mantel, he allowed his eyes—and mind—to remain on the dreadful declaration before him.
Vicki bounced down the stairs and threw her arms around his shoulders. She smelled clean and beautiful. “Hi, handsome,” she said, kissing him.
Billy suddenly felt paralyzed with fear; every rehearsed word in his mind had vanished. “I need to tell you something, Vicki,” he blurted, summoning every ounce of courage he could muster.
“What is it?” she asked, pushing away to look into his eyes.
Billy glanced back toward the picture on the mantel. “I need to talk to you about Dalton,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
She squeezed his arm; it was clearly a negative reaction to the mention of her cousin’s name. “Forgive me for bringing him up on the phone,” she said. “I was just really scared, that’s all. We don’t have to…”
“It’s not that,” Billy said, shaking his head. “There’s something I should have…”
She kissed him hard, stealing the rest of the confession from his lips. “Please, Billy,” she pleaded. “I don’t want to talk about Dalton. It’s too painful and I’m tired of the pain.” She shook her head, fighting off the mist that threatened to blur her vision.
“But Vicki, I…”
“No buts,” she said, kissing him again. “Whatever it is, it’s not going to change anything…or bring him back.”
Billy gazed into her eyes and could see the deep hurt she’d suffered over her cousin’s tragic death. I don’t want to cause her any more pain, he thought, exhaling for the first time since he’d arrived at her house. At least I tried to tell her, he told himself, but he knew it was just another distortion of the truth. Part of him felt relieved that Vicki had let him off the hook; the rest of him, however, understood that the weight of the dark secret would still need to be carried. He felt so confused. Just tell her, he scolded himself. Just…
“Are you up for a movie tonight?” Vicki asked, yanking him further off the hook.
He shrugged slightly, his mind at war with itself.
“Come on, you saved a starving dog today, remember?” she teased. “You deserve some sort of award or prize…”
Instinctively, his eyes flew up and locked onto hers.
She giggled. “Sorry, but my parents are upstairs,” she whispered, “and Barry doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere either.”
Exhaling deeply once more, he surrendered with a simple nod. “A movie sounds like the perfect payoff,” he said, feeling emotionally exhausted.
She leaned into his ear and whispered so softly that it tickled his ear lobe. “If you’re a good boy, I might throw in some heavy petting,” she teased, grabbing his hand and heading for the couch.
“I really like heavy petting,” he said, making her giggle more and distancing them even further from the hideous truth of her cousin’s death.
⁕
They were halfway through Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, when Billy feared he might pee his pants. While Vicki laughed and snorted, he looked at her in amazement. I’ve never laughed so hard with anyone in my life, he thought. She really is one of a kind. How did I get so lucky?
As promised, the laughter led to the heavy petting under a light throw blanket. Replaying the same old scene, Vicki’s moans and groans preceded her pushing Billy away and jumping to her feet. Billy looked at her. She was panting and glistening in sweat. She looks even sexier, he thought.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She shook her head. “If you ever apologize again about us fooling around,” she said, “it’ll be the last time we do.”
“Then I’m not sorry at all,” he said with a grin and stood to leave.
At the door, Vicki asked him, “What date are you leaving for school?”
It was already August and Billy knew the days were ticking down, but he’d made a concerted effort not to think about it. Skype and text messages were good, but they could not replicate Vicki’s distinct smell, or the way she grabbed for his hands when kissing him. “On the thirty-first. Why?”
“Good,” she said. “There’s a craft fair on the weekend before the thirty-first and I was hoping we could go together.” She winked. “I already bought us the tickets.”
“A craft fair?” he regurgitated, trying to smile. “Oh…okay.”
She started laughing. “I was going to leave it a surprise, but I can’t see you in this much pain.”
“What?” he asked, confused.
She kissed him. “I got us a pair of Red Sox tickets before we both head off to school. And they’re really good seats.”
“Are you serious?” he asked, excited.
She nodded. “Four rows behind the home dugout.”
He kissed her. “It’s not the craft fair I was hoping for, but that’ll work too.” They both laughed. He hugged her tightly. “Have I told you how much I love you?” he asked.
She nodded. “You have, but it never hurts to hear it again.”
He kissed her hard. “I wish I had the words,” he whispered.
Chapter 12
That night—after making up for lost time with Vicki, but still leaving physically frustrated—Billy walked into the kitchen to find his mom sitting at the table with Jimmy by her side. Jimmy turned and spotted Billy; he was so excited to see his friend that his whipping tail was nearly spinning him like a top. Billy petted the dog’s muzzle. “Hey buddy,” he said.
The black mutt convulsed under his touch.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked the dog, still fired up from his time with Vicki.
“Okay,” his mom teased.
Laughing, Billy kissed her cheek, before grabbing Jimmy’s leash.
Billy wasn’t a block from his house when he looked back at Jimmy, who was struggling to keep up, facing the wind head-on. “Are you okay…” he started to ask the mutt when his cell phone rang. It’s Vicki, he thought excitedly, fumbling to answer it. “Hey babe,” he said, without looking at the phone.
“Don’t babe me,” Mark said in a serious tone. “You and I need to have a talk.”
“I know, Mark. I know. We haven’t seen each other. But between your summer classes and all the hours I’m putting in at the shelter…”
“That’s not it,” Mark barked.
“I know Vicki’s taken up a lot of my time,” Billy admitted, “but…”
“That’s not it either,” Mark barked louder, taking Billy aback.
“What’s wrong?” Billy asked.
“How long have you known?” Mark asked in a strained whisper.
Without the need for further detail, Billy knew exactly what he was talking about. “When did Charlie tell you?” he asked.
“This afternoon in Nick’s parking lot. He was blubbering away for a few minutes before I even realized what the hell he was talking about.”
“Welcome to my nightmare,” Billy said.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Billy?” Mark asked, genuinely upset.
“Why, Mark, did you really want to know? I mean, are you happy you know now?”
There was a pau
se. “Not really,” he admitted.
“Exactly,” Billy said. “Besides, Charlie swore me to secrecy, which I’ve had to deal with for a lot longer than you.” He took a deep breath. “It’s been hell, bro, believe me.”
“I can only imagine,” Mark said, his tone much more friendly.
Billy thought for a moment. “Do you think we should tell the police?” he asked.
“Hell, no,” Mark said without hesitation.
“Then like I said, welcome to my nightmare.”
“This is so messed up,” Mark said.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Billy said sadly.
“And how’s that?”
“Dalton was Vicki’s first cousin.”
“You’re shitting me?” Mark blurted.
“Nope, I’m not. I wish I were, but I’m not.”
“Oh man, that’s not good at all,” Mark said, stating the obvious. “Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.”
“Oh, it’s worse than that, I’d say,” he said, bending down and scratching Jimmy’s back.
“I’m sorry, Billy,” Mark said, returning to his whisper.
“Me too,” Billy said, feeling guilty that there was a part of him wishing Mark would just tell on Charlie and drag the truth out into the light, once and for all.
Jimmy collapsed onto his side, exposing his swollen belly for a rub.
⁕
In the morning—after hitching another mind-numbing ride from Mrs. Jacobs and her three screeching cherubs—Billy punched in for his shift.
He was in the middle of a flea bath with two of the newly-acquired strays, when the Levesque Family—Dad, Mom and young Timmy—arrived at Four Paws to adopt a family pet. Instantly, Billy recognized it as a strong reflection of his own youth. Old, deep emotions rose right to the surface.
While Timmy searched out his choices, his eyes quickly reached a yellow-haired mutt and lit up.
I remember making my pick like it was yesterday, Billy thought, picturing a much younger Jimmy.
Ironically, this dog was also a mix of Labrador retriever and something else, and the big oaf was maybe a year old. In that one magical moment, the boy and dog discovered each other. Everything and everyone around them was nothing more than white noise. Timmy hurried to the dog and collapsed to his knees, opening his arms to give the animal a hug.
The Changing Season Page 23
