“I shouldn’t have let you. I should have fought harder, not given up.” He lifted a hand to Josh’s face, the scruff along his jawline rough beneath his palm. He remembered this, the soul-deep joy of touching Josh. He’d never felt it with anyone else. Behind them, the percolator spat and hissed and outside the snow started falling again. Josh wet his lips and Finn’s pulse skittered.
“Can I—?” Josh said, voice rough. “Can I kiss you?”
Finn made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob of relief. “Fuck, yes.” Noses bumped as he leaned in, Finn’s lips grazing the corner of Josh’s mouth. It was tender and uncertain and Josh gave a soft, nervous laugh. But when their lips met for real, when Finn drew him into his arms, it felt like coming home. It felt like cold water at the end of a long hot day, like letting go.
They stood like that for a long time, kissing slowly as the snow fell outside and the logs in the woodstove crackled. Stroking Josh’s back—God, it felt so good to hold him again—Finn found the hem of his heavy sweater, and when his fingers slipped underneath to caress the bare skin at the small of his back, Josh sucked in a shivery breath. Finn’s heart all but stopped. The play of strong muscles under his hands, the curve of Josh’s spine toward his ass: it was all so blazingly familiar. So incredibly hot.
Finn’s blood sank south so fast it made him dizzy.
With a soft moan, Josh tipped his head to the side, baring his neck for Finn to kiss the sweet spot behind his ear that had always made him—
“Fuck,” Josh hissed, clutching at Finn’s hips, pressing against him. He was hard as a rock, they both were. “God, Finn, yes...”
And he couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted all of him. Right then. Always. “Bedroom...?”
“Behind me,” Josh said, not letting go.
Laughing, Finn walked him backward into the bedroom. Thank God for small houses. Sliding his hand under Josh’s shirt again, he traced the lean span of his back, the flex of his muscles as Josh lifted his arms to cup Finn’s face. God, he felt glorious. But he was wearing too many damn clothes. With a grunt, Finn grabbed both hems and hauled Josh’s T-shirt and sweater up and off in one go, flinging them aside. Josh laughed, his hair sticking up all over the place, sexy and adorable as fuck, his chest and shoulders bared to Finn’s touch.
It had been so long since Finn had felt like this: wild and unleashed. What he felt for Josh—the aggression, the tenderness, the raw power of his desire—set him alight in ways nobody else had ever done. He burned for Josh, he wanted to burn with him.
With urgent fingers, Josh started working on Finn’s shirt—why was he wearing a fucking shirt?—until the buttons came free and they were both bare-chested. They stilled, then, catching their breaths, forehead-to-forehead. Josh splayed his hand over Finn’s chest, over his heart, his sudden gentleness making Finn’s throat close. “My God,” Josh whispered. “I love you so much.”
Closing his eyes against a sweep of joy, Finn kissed him again, slow and deliberate. There was no rush. They had all the time in the world. They had forever. The thought made him smile as he trailed his fingertips across Josh’s waist to the line of his hip peeking up above his jeans. He pulled back enough to look and Josh watched him with a curious smile.
“I remember this,” Finn said, sinking to his knees as he pressed his lips against the sharp jut of hipbone, running his tongue along it and biting lightly. “I remember you.” He kissed the tense muscles of Josh’s belly. “I remember all of you...”
One hand braced against Finn’s shoulder, Josh drew in a shallow breath. “Finn...” He was trembling and Finn hid a smile against the warmth of his belly. Then, with unsteady hands, he began to undo Josh’s belt and the buttons of his jeans.
Josh dug his fingers into Finn’s shoulder, his other hand cupping the side of his face and making Finn look up. His expression when their eyes met was indescribable: love, desire, longing, hope, adoration and wonder. Everything good in the world.
Finn didn’t drop his gaze when he finally got his fly open, nor when he pressed his lips against Josh’s hard length. He loved watching his eyelids flutter, breath stuttering as his fingers clenched in Finn’s hair. Fuck, he looked incredible. Finn could barely tear his eyes away to take him in all the way, running his fingers up the inside of his thighs, feathering lightly across his balls, teasing and sucking. He knew what Josh liked and he knew it wouldn’t take long. Josh hovered on the brink already and Finn wasn’t far behind.
It had been a long eight years.
“Finn.” Josh gasped his name. “Finn. Finn—Oh God!” He came with a shout, fingers biting into Finn’s shoulder as he arched backward. And Finn took it all, every last drop of him, and still wanted more. He’d never have enough of Joshua Newton.
Carefully, Finn helped him sink onto the bed, breathless and sated, and crawled up to lie with him, kissing his lips, his jaw, his collarbone. Everywhere. Still far away, Josh lifted a heavy hand to drag Finn down and into his arms, drowsy and beautiful. “So good,” Finn whispered against Josh’s lips. “You’re so fucking perfect.”
After a while, Josh smiled and slid his hand across Finn’s belly to his belt. Thank God. He was so hard it was painful to kick off his jeans and briefs, but at last they were both naked and the feel of their bodies together, skin on skin, set a dozen memories running wild.
“I remember this,” Josh whispered, his hands ranging across Finn’s back, slipping over his ass and teasing him until he was crazy with want. “I thought I’d imagined how good it was with you, but I hadn’t. I remembered everything right.”
“Josh,” Finn gasped into his shoulder, cock sliding over his hot skin, captured tight between them. “God, Joshua.” It was perfect, just like it used to be, his body made for Josh’s and Josh’s made for his. He’d never known anything like it, not with anyone, and after a couple more urgent thrusts the tension broke. With an inarticulate shout of joy he flew apart, so hard it left him reeling.
When he drifted back to himself, Josh lay languorous beneath him, fingers idly caressing his back. Finn’s thundering heart knocked against his ribs, and he wondered if Josh could feel it too. He hoped so. With some effort, he shifted his weight so they were side-by-side, Josh watching him with his heart in those beautiful eyes.
Into the intimate space between them, Josh whispered, “That was the best sex I’ve had in eight years.”
“Dude,” Finn laughed. “It was the only sex you’ve had in eight years.”
Josh grinned. His hair was wrecked, his eyes sparkling bluer than ever. He looked so... Finn’s heart swelled, light with the realization that Josh looked happy—that he’d made him happy. Afraid he might do something sappy—sappier—he pulled Josh in so his head came to rest on his shoulder and he could get both arms around him. Pressing a kiss into his fucked-up hair, Finn said, “This is the best day I’ve had in eight years. It’s the best day of my life.”
Josh’s fingers stilled where he’d been tracing circles over Finn’s ribs. “I dreamed of this,” he said after a while. “I didn’t dare hope it would happen.”
Outside, the snow kept falling and Finn watched it swoop and swirl against the window. On a table by the bed sat the photo Finn had first seen on Josh’s bookshelf: the two of them, smiling in the summer sun, full of love and each other. Seeing the picture last time had been painful, but this time he smiled; this time his heart stood wide open and its resentments, laid down year-on-year like glacier ice, had melted away until nothing remained but love.
As Josh grew heavy and relaxed in Finn’s arms, the last of the day sinking into dusk around them, Finn gathered him close, pressed another kiss into his hair, and held him while he slept.
Epilogue
Later
Joshua awoke to the sound of gulls high in a bright summer sky, early light streaming through his curtains. He stretched, scrubbed a hand through his hair, and became a
ware, piecemeal, of the scent of freshly brewed coffee and a soft clattering in the kitchen.
Odd, because Finn wasn’t due to arrive until later that morning.
Yawning, he opened the drapes, shuffled past the packing boxes waiting for the movers, and wandered into the kitchen to investigate.
“Morning, sunshine.” Finn stood propped against the bare counter with a cup of coffee in hand, looking tired but wonderfully there as he held out his free arm in invitation.
Joshua nuzzled into him sleepily. “This is a nice surprise.”
“Mmm. I ducked out early last night and got the red-eye—didn’t want to wait.”
“For what?”
“This,” Finn said, kissing him lightly. “You. The rest of my life.”
Joshua snagged Finn’s coffee and took a sip. Finn didn’t protest, just watched him with an affectionate smile that made Joshua’s heart fly. “You ready for this? It’s gonna be a long drive.”
“You’re kidding, right? You and me on a road trip to LA? Dude, I’ve been dreaming about this for eight years.” His expression softened. “But are you sure? No regrets about leaving New Milton?”
Joshua shook his head. “I’ll miss my friends—and Sean and Tejana, of course—but this has been a long time coming, Finn. And I am so ready.”
“Me too.” Finn stole his coffee back and set it aside, pulling Joshua into a hug. For a while they just stood there in each other’s arms, swaying a little, and then Finn clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Go get dressed, we’re going out before we hit the road.”
“Out?”
“My brother’s idea.” Finn rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his happiness even for a moment. “He’s insisting we have breakfast with him and Tejana.”
Joshua smiled. “That’s nice. I hoped we’d have time to see them this morning.”
A few minutes later, they were strolling down Sandy Lane toward the beach. Finn had suggested they walk—“It’s a beautiful day, man, and we’ll be driving a long time”—and Joshua certainly wasn’t about to object. He loved walking here early in the morning. The tide was way out, leaving the beach enormous and, at this hour, empty bar a couple of guys from the Surf Hut in the water.
An onshore breeze ruffled Joshua’s hair, but the day was already promising heat. They turned right when they reached the sand and splashed barefoot along the water’s edge. Neither of them said much, but after a while Finn tangled his fingers with Joshua’s and he glanced over, smiling as they held hands. A couple months ago they couldn’t have been so overt. But that was before Finn came out publicly, and now it felt like there was nobody in the world who didn’t know about them. Nobody on Twitter, anyway. Most people seemed to have an opinion about it, too—for good or ill. Not that Joshua paid them much attention, but Ali and Lexa told him things even when he asked them not to. The interweb was a wild and crazy place.
By and large, the reaction had been positive—if you ignored the bigots and zealots, which he tried to do. Finn’s fans had certainly been pretty cool, if slightly obsessive about the whole thing. New Milton was even becoming something of a tourist attraction amongst Finn’s more ardent admirers.
Sean and Tejana couldn’t have been happier. Joshua genuinely felt like part of Finn’s family and it warmed him to a depth he doubted he’d ever be able to explain. His own family, on the other hand... Well, it was pretty rich for a man who’d been jailed for fraud to describe his son’s life as “distasteful” but Joshua quite literally couldn’t care less about his father’s opinion. As for Michael, they hadn’t talked since Joshua left New York in January and, despite Finn urging him to build bridges, he didn’t care to breach the gap between them. Not yet, anyway.
Ruth, however, had warmed to Finn—or perhaps to his money—and she and Joshua had reached an unspoken agreement not to remember her advice eight years ago. On occasion, a little strategic amnesia proved helpful.
“This way.” Finn tugged him toward the promenade in New Milton, just starting to come to life for the day, and they put their shoes back on before heading up the cliff path to Hanworth Hall. This early, the air was fragrant with dewy grass, the scent rising up beneath their feet as they climbed up to Gorse Point. It was a steep path and Joshua was breathing hard by the time they reached the top. He paused there to catch his breath, gazing out over the water glittering beneath the low morning sun.
“That guy’s good,” Finn said, raising a hand to shade his eyes as he watched one of the surfers in the water catch a wave.
Joshua cast him a sideways look. “I think that’s Luca Moretti. His mom owns the Majestic Hotel on the other side of the bay. Luca comes down every summer—works as a lifeguard and runs the surf school.” He nudged Finn. “Wears a wet suit well, if you know what I mean.”
“Hey, I thought you only had eyes for me.”
Joshua lifted an eyebrow. “You’d look good in a wet suit...”
“You’d look good out of a wet suit.”
Despite everything, Joshua blushed and shook his head as he turned to watch the ocean again. Luca darted through the water, a black shape in the waves, as a couple of early morning joggers splashed along the foreshore. Aside from them, he and Finn were delightfully alone.
He slipped his hand into Finn’s again and they strolled on together. Although they’d walked here many times in the last few months, it was the memories of that long-ago summer that occupied Joshua’s thoughts as Hanworth Hall came into view: they’d met there, first kissed in these dunes, made love on the cliff top in the dark shadow of his father’s disapproval. And today they’d finally leave to start a new life together.
He hadn’t realized, until now, that he needed to say goodbye to the old place, but he suspected Finn had known and that he’d suggested they walk this path for that very purpose. Despite his all-American-hero looks, Finn possessed a sensitive soul—one of the many things Joshua loved about him.
As they reached the gate to the gardens, Joshua slowed and hauled Finn in for a kiss before they met the others, relishing the joy of being together after their week apart. “I missed you,” he said, slipping his arms around Finn’s waist and leaning back to look him in the eye.
“Me too.” Finn bumped their noses together. “I’ve been thinking about this all week.”
“This?”
“Today. Being here with you. All of it.”
Joshua cupped his face—his beloved face, so familiar he recognized every freckle, every fleck of color in Finn’s eyes—and kissed him softly. Then they gazed goofily at each other for a while before Joshua’s stomach rumbled and Finn laughed, shoving him toward the gate. “Come on, let’s feed you.”
Joshua resisted the urge to take Finn’s hand as they crossed the lawn to the house, because Finn was still self-conscious about being too demonstrative in front of his brother. It amused Joshua because Sean was one of the most tactile people he’d ever met, but masculinity was a complex thing and he figured it was up to Finn to make peace with it in his own way. He could be patient. So he was surprised and pleased when Finn took his hand, holding it tight. Joshua squeezed back and bumped their shoulders together reassuringly, smiling when he felt Finn’s grip relax.
Sean must have spotted them because he stepped out of the French windows with one arm lifted in a wave. “We’re eating in here,” he called, beckoning them over.
Which was odd, since they always ate in the kitchen. It was the first hint Joshua had that something was up. He glanced at Finn and caught the telling blankness of his expression, his acting skills totally failing to deceive. “What’s going on?”
“Huh?” Finn blinked in wide-eyed innocence, but the smile twitching his lips made Joshua’s mouth tick up into an answering grin.
“Finn, what have you done?”
What he’d done—what they’d all done, because this was a Callaghan plot—was to invite all Joshua�
�s friends in town to a bon-voyage breakfast. “You bastard,” he said, laughing, when he saw everyone gathered inside, and had to hide his smiling tears against Finn’s shoulder for a moment. Finn wrapped an arm around him, stroking his back until he’d got control of himself enough to turn around and say hello—and goodbye—to everyone.
Sean and Tejana had put on a delicious spread and it was a joyful couple of hours, full of promises to come visit—which they would, of course—and wishes for good luck for his new life in LA. But eventually Finn tapped his watch and stood up from the table. “Josh, we need to get going if we’re gonna be on the road by eleven.”
“He’s got a schedule,” Joshua explained, smiling affectionately. “By tonight we have to reach—where is it?”
“Clearfield, PA,” Finn said. “And we’re taking the scenic route.”
After a final round of goodbyes, Joshua found himself swamped in one of Sean’s gigantic bear hugs. “We’ll see you soon, buddy,” Sean promised, but when he let go he kept hold of Joshua’s shoulders to look him in the eye. “Listen, I just want to say thank you. Finn’s...” He glanced over to where Finn was saying goodbye to Tejana, laughing at something she said. “He’s so freakin’ happy, Josh. My whole life, I’ve never seen him like this. And it’s all you.” He shook his head. “It’s all you, man.”
Joshua’s heart swelled, his eyes lingering on Finn. “I’m happy too, Sean. I feel like the happiest man in the world.”
“Yeah.” Sean’s voice softened and when Joshua looked back at him his eyes were suspiciously bright, his smile wobbly. “Yeah, and it’s beautiful to see.” And then he hugged Joshua hard, thumping him on the back.
Joshua had to surreptitiously swipe at his eyes as they parted. Loving Finn, being loved by Finn, felt like his soul had found its way home—but loving Finn’s family, being loved by Finn’s family, was a joy he’d never anticipated. It made him feel like he’d won the lottery of life.
“Okay!” Finn turned to him from the other side of the room and held out his hand. “Let’s hit the road, Josh.”
Perfect Day Page 19
