As much as she hated the alternative, she knew she couldn’t marry David now. She didn’t love him anymore. There was a part of her that feared she had never loved him, that she’d fallen in love with the idea of him as her destiny. Which made her wonder, was she so blinded by what she thought was fate that she’d ignored her own feelings? If so, she deserved to be alone. She was a total head case.
David took a sip of his wine and smiled. “I thought I’d just about go nuts when I thought that Jack Brenner, of all people, was winning you over.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Anyone but him.”
She regarded him more closely. “Was that why you wanted me back? Because you didn’t want Jack to have me?”
“N-no,” he stumbled. “Of course not.” He gave her a half-embarrassed smile, almost as if he’d realized his slip. “That’s ridiculous. I told you I want to marry you. We belong together.”
She calmly put down her wineglass and decided she was finally ready to hear the truth. “Why did you break up with me?”
With a fidgety hand, David took his wineglass and tossed the liquid back like a shot. “Um…well, darling, don’t take this the wrong way, but you were getting a little obsessive with the whole marriage thing. I thought maybe you were depending too much on me. It was stifling.”
Her eyes narrowed. “So you thought I was clingy and needy?” Oh no, she thought, holding her forehead in her hand, that’s exactly what I was. Maybe even still am.
“No,” he said, then seemed to think his answer over. “A little bit.” He spread his hand up before she could speak. “But now I know you aren’t like that. You got involved with that Brenner guy pretty fast. Almost too fast. That’s why I was concerned at first. But then I realized how strong of a woman you are and how you weren’t relying on either of us for anything. You seemed so independent and passionate. It was so unbelievably attractive.” A smile slowly spread across his lips. “I couldn’t resist you after that.”
She closed her eyes and groaned. No wonder she was attracted to David at first. They were both head cases.
“Do you love me?” she asked softly, already knowing the answer.
“What?” he half laughed. “Sabrina, I care deeply for you. We’ll make a great team. I can’t imagine marrying anyone else.”
Opening her eyes, she repeated, “Do you love me?”
“I…” He paused, raising his wineglass again, and frowned when he saw it was empty. “I think so,” he said into it.
She slowly nodded.
Her gaze went to her left hand and she studied the ring glistening in the light. It was so ornate, certainly not as beautiful as the one that had been Jack’s mother’s.
This is quite the dilemma, she mused with more calm than she thought she’d have at a time like this. A man who didn’t love her wanted to marry her, and the man she loved didn’t want to get married. Oprah herself would be chomping at the bit to get ahold of this story. She wished her parents were alive so they could advise her, though in her heart she already knew what to do. Right was right, even if she didn’t like what it meant for her future. But she had to take this chance and control her own fate.
She held her breath as her left hand slowly went to her right. Then for the second time that day, she handed back an engagement ring. “I’m sorry, David. I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
Chapter Fourteen
Monday morning, Sabrina entertained the idea of hiding out in the ladies bathroom all day.
She examined her face in the mirror and thought she’d aged about ten years in the span of two days. Quickly splashing cold water on her cheeks, she blotted her face and assessed it again.
Yuck.
She was hopeless. There was no remedy for puffy red eyes after a whole weekend of crying. Why was she even at work? To torture herself by seeing Jack again? She didn’t know how she was going to handle working around him and loving him as she did. Seeing him on a daily basis would be a constant reminder of what she’d never have. What they’d never have together.
She needed to talk to someone before she broke down and made an even bigger fool of herself. Prying herself away from the mirror, she went in search of Chris.
Her friend was standing at the copier laughing with a cell phone in her hand, but one short look at Sabrina had her saying a hasty good-bye into it. “Oh my gosh,” Chris said, raising a hand to Sabrina’s forehead. “You look like death on a death watch.”
Sabrina’s shoulders slumped. “I’m okay.” She shook her head. “No, I’m not okay.”
Chris put down her phone and took hold of Sabrina’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m losing control of my life.”
“Honey, nobody has complete control of their life. What fun would that be? Do you think I was in control when I got pregnant on my honeymoon?” Chris shook her head at herself. “I still don’t know what happened there. But look how much fun I had, being newly married and pregnant with twins all at once.” She made a face and rolled her eyes.
Sabrina couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah, that was pretty amusing.”
Chris shared her smile. “See? And I survived. Now tell Auntie Chris what could possibly be so terrible in your life.”
“Okay, but you have to swear on your next pay raise that you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
Chris made an exaggerated motion of crossing her heart. “It’s in the vault.”
Satisfied with that, Sabrina took a deep breath and rushed it all out at once. “Jack and I lied to Mr. Brenner and told him we were getting married, but Jack didn’t really want to get married, and neither did I, and it made Mr. Brenner so happy. But now I do want to get married because I’m in love with him.” She took another deep breath and waited.
Chris’s calm expression turned to panic. “Wait, you’re in love with Mr. Brenner or Jack?”
“Jack.”
“Whew, that’s good.” Her friend’s expression relaxed. “Soooo…you’re going to marry Jack who you’re in love with? What’s the problem?”
“I’m not marrying Jack. Mr. Brenner just thinks that. At least for now.”
“Why did you tell Mr. Brenner you were marrying Jack?”
Stalling, Sabrina raised her hand and pulled at her bottom lip. “So I could marry David,” she said at last.
Chris blinked. “Honey, I’m going to slap you silly if you don’t start making some sense.”
Sabrina helplessly threw her hands in the air. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth. It’s just complicated. But in a nutshell, I don’t love David. I love Jack.”
“How does Jack feel?” she asked.
Sabrina sadly shook her head.
Chris’s face fell. “Oh. I’m sorry, honey. Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. He never really wanted me. It was always about the company and the National Sales Manager position.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know.” Sabrina sighed, covering her face with her hands. “But I’m freaking out here. I can’t face Jack, and when Mr. Brenner learns the truth, I don’t think I’ll be able to face him, either. I should just quit.”
“Whoa.” Chris reached out and pulled Sabrina’s hands away so she could look her in the eyes. “I know this is a difficult position for you, but don’t do anything rash. Why don’t you take some vacation time?”
“Vacation time?”
“Yeah, so you can think things through,” Chris said soothingly. “You need a little separation from Jack. Clear your head.”
“Maybe.” She sniffed. It was starting to sound better and better the more she let it sink in. She knew it was running, but she didn’t care. She’d run for as long as it took to have the pain go away.
Sabrina was gathering the last of her belongings when Jack suddenly appeared in front of her desk.
“Going somewhere?” he asked in way of greeting.
She paused, her fingers on her planner, then finally looked up, knowing w
hen she did her heart would squeeze painfully.
And there it was. She placed her palm over the ache.
Jack’s width blocked her view of the office area. She was left no choice but to give him her entire attention. He stood gazing down at her with those incredible eyes—such a perfect mixture of blue and gray that her insides fluttered. Would another man ever come close to having this kind of effect on her? “Um.” She swallowed hard. “I decided to take some time off.”
“This is sudden.” His eyes began to roam her desk. “Going anywhere special?”
“Not sure yet.”
“Is David going with you?”
She hesitated. “No.”
His jaw seemed to relax with his stance. “Do you think it’s safe to travel by yourself these days? Are you driving or flying? Because if you really wanted to, I could—”
“Jack, what’s with the questions? When I told your dad, he didn’t have a problem with me going someplace by myself at all. Don’t worry,” she added, “I didn’t spill the beans about our fake engagement. I wouldn’t want to ruin your promotion.”
He stared at her with open disbelief. “That’s not what I was talking about at all. It doesn’t matter to me if you told my dad the truth or not. He’s going to find out you’re re-engaged to David tomorrow night.”
She slipped her hands under her desk so he wouldn’t notice the absence of her ring. She didn’t want to hear I-told-you-so right now. She didn’t have the energy for it.
Jack reached out and touched her. Briefly, with his hand on her shoulder, but she still felt as though it were resting there. Or maybe she just wanted it to be there. “Look,” he said. “I wanted to come here and tell you that despite how I acted the other day, I really am happy for you and David.”
Jack couldn’t have known, but that was the last thing on earth she needed to hear. “I thought you were against David?” she asked. “Against the marriage? Against marriage in general?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me, but hey, whatever makes you happy, right? I mean, it’s not every day you find someone who has the ability to convert your insides to Jell-O with the smallest of smiles or makes you do the damnedest things for her. Him,” he corrected.
She stared at him, afraid that if she spoke she’d end up breaking apart into a million tiny pieces. Waves of nausea began to flood her stomach. How could she tell him she wasn’t getting married? Especially after all she’d put him through.
Jack rounded her desk to take both of her hands in his and squeezed them gently. “I hope David knows how lucky he is to have you.”
Lucky? Ha! David was lucky not to marry her. She didn’t even know her own feelings. How could she have not seen earlier how much she was in love with Jack?
Jack dropped his arms. “I’ll see you when you come back then.”
She smiled. She wasn’t sure it was much of one, but she supposed it was enough because he grinned back at her. Then, giving her a quick wink, he walked straight into his father’s office.
I’ll see you when you come back.
No, she thought as her eyes bordered with tears. She wouldn’t be seeing him. Because right then and there, she decided she would not be coming back.
Chapter Fifteen
“Wait. You’re not getting married?”
Jack numbly shook his head at his father and wished with every hair on his thick blockhead that he hadn’t quit smoking. He could use a couple of World Fair cigars right about now. He figured if he couldn’t be honest with Sabrina, he could at least be honest with his father. But the expression on his dad’s face made it more difficult to explain than he’d expected.
Jack wasn’t exactly doing cartwheels over the news himself. It tore at his insides thinking Sabrina was going to marry another man. Just when he finally found someone worth risking his feelings on, she refused to acknowledge what was happening between them. Every time he touched her, he swore he saw actual sparks. Sabrina had to have sensed it too, and if she’d felt just a fraction of what he felt for her, he wouldn’t be sitting here in a restaurant breaking the sad truth to his dad.
He and Sabrina would be engaged for real.
Leonard Brenner looked at his son sympathetically. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.” Stalling, Jack brushed around some breadcrumbs on the tablecloth. “We, uh, were never engaged in the first place.” He spoke quietly, almost hoping his father’s hearing wasn’t as good as it used to be. “We lied.”
“For God’s sake, Jack, why would you do something like that? And why would Sabrina go along with it?”
Alarmed his father had the wrong impression of Sabrina, his eyes shot up. “It’s not her fault,” he said more intensely than he wanted. “She didn’t want to lie to you. The woman’s a saint—an absolute freaking saint. It was all my fault. I made her do it.”
Without another word to Jack, his dad shot his arm out for the waiter and ordered a scotch. No ice. The waiter was already out of earshot, but his dad leaned in and lowered his voice anyway. “It’s a good thing your mother’s dead, because this would have done the job just as well. Have you lost your mind?”
“I know,” Jack moaned, running his hands through his hair. “Sabrina wondered the same thing.”
Squeezing his lids closed, his father rubbed methodically between his eyes. “You could test the mercy of the Pope himself.”
Jack sighed. “I didn’t do this to hurt you. I thought it was what you wanted.”
“Of course it’s what I wanted!”
“Well, there you go.”
“But for the right reasons! And I’d like it to be true.” His father looked like he’d realized he had shouted and glanced around the dining room with some embarrassment.
“I’m sorry. I am sorry,” Jack insisted when his father turned dubious eyes toward him. “But at least two out of three isn’t bad.”
“What do you mean, two out of three?”
“It’s what you wanted, it’s what I wanted. It’s just not going to happen.”
His dad’s expression softened before him, centimeter by centimeter. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m completely in love with her.” The words were coming easier and easier to him. Too bad they’d never be spoken to the one who really mattered. “That’s the truth,” he added.
“You are? So what’s the problem? Did she turn you down?”
He shook his head. “I never got the chance to ask. She’s back with her old fiancé.”
His dad’s brows wrinkled farther into a deep gray V. “Oh. I’m sorry, son. I never thought in a million years she wouldn’t fall in love with you.”
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you never thought she wouldn’t fall in love with me?”
His dad stilled then cleared his throat. “I guess I have some confessing to do too.”
“Oh, no,” he muttered.
“There were never any bad rumors about your reputation. Although I wasn’t thrilled with your recent behavior, the board never mentioned anything to me. I made it all up. I was afraid you weren’t balancing your life. Work had become an obsession to you. And well, I’ve always been fond of Sabrina… Naturally, I thought you two would be attracted to each other, so I might have thrown you together for more than work reasons.”
Jack laughed mirthlessly at his father’s attempt at matchmaking. The old man knew him well—maybe too well—and had picked a woman for him that he may not have noticed on his own otherwise. But they both didn’t count on her not reciprocating the feeling.
“I guess my pain must seem infinitely smaller to what you’re going through right now,” his father said.
He had no idea.
Jack was getting pretty tired of that pain, too. Worrying he was becoming too vulnerable, he tried to bury it with cynicism. “Yeah well, I got what I deserved. Who could blame her? She knows me as a self-serving playboy. Not exactly a trait a woman comes running toward when she’s looking for her
soul mate.”
“Stop beating yourself up. You’re a good man. Someone I am very proud of and happy to see run this company one day.”
Jack laughed again, despite the disgust he had toward the whole situation—and particularly himself. “I didn’t do a very good job of showing her that.”
“I saw how you’ve been with her,” his dad countered. “That couldn’t have been all for my benefit.”
No. It wasn’t. Somewhere in the middle of their pretending, it had turned very real. But she had her beliefs about fate and destiny and if that damn psychic of hers didn’t see she and Jack together, it was a no-win situation.
“Maybe that’s true, Dad, but Sabrina has certain preconceived notions of what she wants and I couldn’t compete with that. Or at least, she wouldn’t let me compete.”
When his father didn’t comment further, Jack shook his head at himself and looked away. And that’s when his evening completely bottomed out.
Perfect, he thought, as David walked into the dining room. Just great. Speak of the so-called psychic’s-pet himself.
Jack had already figured out that Boston was a small enough city and that he’d probably have to run into the happy couple sooner or later. But did it have to be this soon? The wide smile David paraded in with made Jack want to punch it clear through to the back of his skull. But Sabrina had made her choice and he was going to have to deal with it. Resigning himself to seeing Sabrina’s equally happy expression, he waited for her to appear.
A redhead popped into view instead.
Jack’s eyes narrowed. What have we here? Eyes glued to the couple, he couldn’t miss how David took the woman’s coat, then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning away.
Jack almost bolted from his seat. David was cheating on Sabrina. On his Sabrina! The guy was a bigger jerk than Jack ever imagined—and his imagination ran pretty wild. That’s it. There would be no saving the good doctor now.
“Excuse me, Dad,” Jack said, standing up and shrugging out of his sports coat. He began rolling up his sleeves with his gaze aimed at David like a hunter not wanting to lose sight of his quarry. “I need to say hello to an old friend.” And perhaps rearrange some prominent features on his face.
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