by Mark Walden
‘Yes,’ he said impatiently.
‘I have a call on your private line, Prime Minister,’ his secretary said. ‘He wouldn’t give his name, he just said he was an old friend.’
‘Put it through,’ Cavendish said, frowning. ‘Hello?’
‘Hello, Prime Minister. It’s so good to speak to you again,’ the voice on the other end said.
‘Nero,’ Cavendish whispered.
‘You sound surprised to hear from me,’ Nero said, ‘I wonder why?’
‘I suppose you’ve called to threaten me,’ Cavendish said. ‘Don’t waste your breath. My security detail is second to none. You can’t touch me.’
‘Oh, I’m not going to hurt you physically,’ Nero said. ‘I’m going to make you do something far more painful. I’m going to make you resign.’
‘And why on earth would I do that?’ Cavendish asked.
‘Because if you don’t, I’m going to send several eminent journalists all the information that they’ll need to reveal the cover-up regarding your . . . education.’
‘You can’t do that,’ Cavendish replied, an edge of panic in his voice.
‘I’m sure that the British public will be intrigued to discover that their Prime Minister cannot account for six years of his life,’ Nero said. ‘I can almost see the headlines now.’
‘I’ll expose you,’ Cavendish spat. ‘I’ll tell the world about H.I.V.E. if you do this.’
‘Oh really,’ Nero replied. ‘So presumably you’ll tell them that actually you didn’t go to a top private school and you did, in fact, attend a secret school of global villainy that’s housed inside a volcano but you’ve got no idea where it actually is. That should go down well.’
Cavendish felt his heart sink. He had been a politician for long enough to know when his opponent was holding all the cards.
‘You have twenty-four hours,’ Nero said. ‘I’d go with wanting to spend more time with your family, if I were you. I believe that’s traditional.’
The line went dead. Cavendish looked around his office, surveying all that he had worked so hard to attain. He pulled a sheet of headed paper from his desk drawer, picked up his pen and began to write.
Otto sat alone on the sofa in the accommodation block, staring off into space. Hard as he tried he could not stop mentally replaying the events of their final confrontation with Overlord. He knew it would do no good to dwell on the what ifs and maybes of what happened, but that did not change the fact that he desperately wished that things could have turned out differently. Laura sat down on the seat next to him, looking at him with a slightly worried expression.
‘I’d ask what you were thinking about but I’m fairly sure I already know,’ Laura said softly. ‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Wasn’t it?’ Otto said with a sigh.
‘No, it wasn’t,’ Laura said. ‘You didn’t pull the trigger, you didn’t choose to be there. It was Overlord – it was always him.’
‘Maybe,’ Otto said, looking at Laura, ‘but if it hadn’t been for me, Lucy wouldn’t have been there – none of you would have been there. Who’s it going to be next time? You? Wing? Shelby?’
‘Otto,’ Laura said, putting her hand on his, ‘this isn’t you. You know what I – what we all love about you? You’re the strongest of all of us. You’re the glue that holds us all together and none of us want to see you like this. Overlord’s gone, for good this time, and you have your life back. Now you just have to start living it again.’
‘I suppose you’re right,’ Otto said, ‘but I can’t shake this feeling that Lucy traded her future for mine.’
‘Maybe she did,’ Laura said, ‘and if that’s true the worst, most selfish thing you could do is waste what she has given you. Everything you get to do from this point onwards is thanks to her. Don’t think about what might have been, think about what’s going to be. That’s all she would have wanted.’
Otto stared at Laura for a moment and then nodded.
‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘Thanks.’
‘I’m always right – I learnt that from you,’ Laura said with a wink, glancing over his shoulder. ‘Look out – here come the lovebirds.’
Wing and Shelby were walking across the atrium together. They had been inseparable since returning to H.I.V.E., despite the fact that they were quite possibly the least obviously compatible couple in human history.
‘Hey, guys,’ Shelby said as she sat down opposite Laura and Otto. ‘Wanna hear something funny?’
‘It is not funny,’ Wing said as he sat down next to her, looking slightly embarrassed.
‘Are you kidding? It’s hilarious,’ Shelby said with a grin. ‘Guess who got taken down by Franz in the combat simulation this morning?’
‘You’re joking,’ Otto said in disbelief, as Wing just closed his eyes and shook his head.
‘There I was, backing him up, and our friend here’s doing his usual sneaky stealth thing when suddenly, out of nowhere, BOOM! Head shot. No more Mr Ninja guy,’ Shelby explained with delight.
‘He eliminated you too,’ Wing said, avoiding eye contact with Laura and Otto.
‘Yeah, well, it’s hard to hit anything when you’re laughing so much that you can’t breathe,’ Shelby said, grinning from ear to ear.
‘And so the ritual humiliation begins,’ Wing said with a sigh, rolling his eyes.
‘You know you love it,’ Shelby said, leaning over and giving him a peck on the cheek.
‘Franz ought to be more careful,’ Laura said. ‘If not he’ll end up on H.I.V.E.mind’s list and the next thing he knows he’ll be standing in a hangar somewhere with no clue why he’s there.’
‘Thanks for reminding me,’ Otto said. ‘I’ve got enough circuitry in my head without Nero implanting a computerised dog whistle in my skull on graduation day.’
‘I shouldn’t worry, Otto,’ Shelby said with a grin. ‘H.I.V.E.mind only activated the Alphas who’d be any use in a fight. You’re perfectly safe. On the other hand, if he ever needs his hard drive defragmented – well, then you’re really in trouble.’
‘I’d laugh,’ Otto said, smiling back at Shelby, ‘but recently I’ve been trying to do that only when someone says something that’s actually funny.’
‘Personally, I found the Zero Hour plan rather disturbing,’ Wing said with a slight frown.
‘Aye, it is a wee bit creepy,’ Laura said.
‘At least we’ll never know if Nero’s actually done it to us,’ Otto replied.
‘And that’s less creepy because . . .’ Shelby said.
‘OK, more creepy, way more creepy,’ Otto admitted. ‘Probably best not to think about it at all.’
Nigel walked up to them with a slightly worried expression on his face.
‘Erm . . . guys, Franz is just over at the snack machine,’ he said nervously. ‘I thought I should warn you that his win in the combat simulation has – well, gone to his head slightly.’
‘What do you mean?’ Laura asked.
‘You’ll see,’ Nigel replied.
Franz was walking across the atrium tucking into a packet of crisps. There was a definite swagger in his step.
‘Hey, Franz,’ Shelby said as he approached.
‘Franz? There is no Franz,’ he said with a dismissive shake of his head. ‘From now on you shall be using the new nickname that I am choosing –’ He pointed his fingers at Wing in the shape of a gun – ‘Silent Death.’
They did stop laughing . . . eventually.
H.I.V.E. test section
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Answer the following questions to find out which stream you belong in.
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1. If you were an animal, which of the following would you be?
A. Panther
B. Rhino
C. Spider
D. Snake
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2. How might you make one of your enemies sorry?
A. With a hypnotic trigger phrase – so that every time someone says ‘Pass the salt’, they cluck like
a chicken
B. Break every bone in their body – even the ones they didn’t know existed
C. Rewire their alarm clock so that it always goes off at 4 a.m.
D. Discover their most embarrassing secret, and publicly expose it – after blackmailing them for a brief, yet lucrative, period
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3. If you could choose any instrument to aid you in your villainous cause, what would it be?
A. Nothing – your cunning is all you will ever need
B. A bazooka
C. A computer
D. Money – after all, it is the root of all evil
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4. You decide to take over your school. How would you achieve this?
A. Simply inform the headmaster that you are indisputably the most qualified person for the job – you had read every book in the library by the time you were four years old, and have a better understanding of the subjects than the teachers do
B. Threaten to show the headmaster what his/her spleen looks like if control of the school is not relinquished immediately
C. Hack into the computer system and rewrite all of the school’s files to show that you are, in fact, already the headmaster
D. Infiltrate the local council and appoint yourself as Head of Education – why settle for just your school?
If your answers are mostly As . . .
Alpha: The Alpha stream specialises in leadership and strategy training. You exhibit certain unique abilities which mark you out as one of the leaders of tomorrow.
If your answers are mostly Bs . . .
Henchman: Your aggression knows no bounds, and you are happiest when you’re doing damage to something, or more likely, someone. Your uncluttered, uncomplicated mind makes you the perfect trusted subordinate.
If your answers are mostly Cs . . .
Technical: There’s not a computer that you cannot hack, or a bomb you cannot defuse (or build, for that matter). You put the ‘EEK!’ in computer geek.
If your answers are mostly Ds . . .
Political/Financial: You have a brilliant head for figures (as well as ways to fudge them), and also happen to be excessively charming and a natural born liar – the perfect combination for a successfully sinister career in politics or finance.
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Your Stream has been selected. Now take the test to discover how villainous you are . . .
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1. You find a wallet on the floor filled with ten pound notes, do you:
A. Immediately take the wallet to the police and hand it over, still filled with the money
B. Help yourself to some of the money and then take it to the police
C. Take the money, throw the wallet in the bin and spend the cash on stolen blueprints for the nearest bank
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2. You see a small child eating your favourite ice cream, do you:
A. Ask the child where he got the ice cream and set off to buy your own
B. Explain to the child that ice cream is bad for the teeth and make them feel guilty enough to hand it over
C. Organise two henchmen to suspend the small child upside down over a duck pond while you enjoy the icy goodness of their treat
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3. Your parents agree to buy you any birthday present you want, do you ask for:
A. Nothing, you would rather your parents treated themselves
B. A new hi-fi and games system so you can lock yourself away in your bedroom
C. A small island in the middle of the Pacific, fully equipped with secret hideout, submarine base and lasers
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4. When buying a new house what room is your priority?
A. An ecologically sound conservatory
B. A huge communications room so you can spy on your nearest and dearest
C. An underground lair complete with torture devices and a shark-filled pool
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5. You have a red button in front of you that you have been told never to press, do you:
A. Quietly read a book, never giving the button a second thought
B. Stroke the button gently, always feeling tempted to give it a good push
C. Instantly press the button – you built this doomsday device so why shouldn’t you use it!
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6. An army of robots is about to take over your town, do you:
A. Find a way to foil the robots and destroy them for ever
B. Find a way to foil the robots but keep one just in case you might need it one day
C. Find a way to foil the robots because frankly your army of GIANT SPACE ROBOTS will do a better job
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7. You need to hire a henchman, who do you hire:
A. Your mum
B. A couple of ex-cons you found through eBay
C. A suitably subservient weakling who will bow to your every needs . . . and a GIANT SPACE ROBOT
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8. You have captured your heroic foe and can at last be rid of him, do you:
A. Have a change of heart, let him go and give yourself up to the authorities
B. Give the hero five minutes to escape from a shrinking room while making a quick getaway
C. Take a long time to explain your convoluted plans for ruling the world, realise the hero has escaped and send your GIANT SPACE ROBOT after him
If your answers are mostly As . . .
To be fair you don’t really have a villainous bone in your body. In fact, I suspect you would rather share a cup of tea with your foe, talk about old times and generally have a nice time. It’s probably best to give up villainy now and try something more suited to your needs, say knitting or looking after bunnies.
If your answers are mostly Bs . . .
OK, so you have some villainous traits but you’re not quite ready for big time yet. You’re the kind of villainous soul that would pull only half the legs off a spider so they would have some chance of getting away. With a little training you could be a decent villain but you’re no way ready for the big league.
If your answers are mostly Cs . . .
Hello future megalomaniac and ruler of the world. You are a vile villain through and through. You’ve probably got some plans to take over the world hidden in a draw somewhere and if you haven’t already undergone training in Applied Villainy at H.I.V.E. then you should be applying for a place now. Oh, and I hear that GIANT SPACE ROBOTS are currently half-price at your local superstore.
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Details of H.I.V.E. students and instructors for your Villainous files
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STUDENTS
Otto Malpense
Orphaned at birth, Otto is a criminal genius with a limitless mind, photographic memory and rare extra-sensory skills. Using a robotic mind control device he coerced the British Prime Minister into mooning at a press conference, and ended up in H.I.V.E.
Wing Fanchu
Otto’s best friend, Wing was recruited into H.I.V.E. due to his exceptional skill in martial arts and numerous forms of selfdefence.
Laura Brand
Laura has an uncanny expertise with computers, so much so that she made it into H.I.V.E. by hacking into an US military airbase in order to use their military frequency to find out if one of her friends was gossiping about her behind her back.
Shelby Trinity
This all American girl is actually a world renowned jewel thief known as The Wraith. Shelby stole her way into H.I.V.E.
Nigel Darkdoom
It’s tough following in your father’s footsteps, particularly when you’re small and bald and your dad is the infamous criminal mastermind Diabolus Darkdoom. Nigel has a lot to live up to. He does, however, have a talent for science and a strange affinity with plants.
Franz Argentblum
Franz is son and heir to the largest manufacturer of chocolate in Europe. Like Nigel, his father is also a criminal mastermind. Franz is most easily recognised by his impressive size and strong Germa
n accent.
Lucy Dexter
The granddaughter of the Contessa (deceased) and has inherited her special talent for mind control.
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INSTRUCTORS
Dr Nero
Dr Maximilian Nero is the founder and headmaster of H.I.V.E. He also happens to be one of the most ruthless and devious men alive, and is a senior member of G.L.O.V.E.
Raven
Natalya (a.k.a. Raven) is the most feared assassin in H.I.V.E. She was originally trained in infiltration and counter-intelligence in Russia. She has a long, curved scar that runs down one cheek, although very few people would know as most people she ‘encounters’ rarely get a chance to make note of their assailant’s appearance before they lose consciousness (if they are lucky).
Colonel Francisco
Head of the Tactical Educational department, Colonel Francisco is thought by the students to be one of the toughest teachers at H.I.V.E.
Professor Pike
Head of the Science and Technology department, Professor Pike may appear disorganised and distracted, but appearances are often deceiving. He is one of the original creators of H.I.V.E.mind.
Ms Leon
Currently, her consciousness is trapped in the body of her fluffy white cat (with special thanks to Professor Pike). Tabitha Leon is an expert at infiltration and counter-surveillance. She teaches Stealth and Evasion at H.I.V.E.
H.I.V.E.mind
H.I.V.E.mind is a first generation artificially intelligent entity and the school’s omnipresent super-computer. The purpose of H.I.V.E.mind is to serve and ensure the uninterrupted functioning of the school.
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Also by Mark Walden
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H.I.V.E.: Higher Institute of Villainous Education
H.I.V.E.: The Overlord Protocol
H.I.V.E.: Escape Velocity
H.I.V.E.: Dreadnought
H.I.V.E.: Rogue
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Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Berlin and New York
