by Tamsin Baker
Instead, I focused on my child at her breast, relief flooding my body, knowing he would not be hungry any longer – at least right now. His dark-haired head bobbed around for a moment before settling to feed with noisy hunger. My lips cracked upwards on their own and I felt tears prickle my eyes. This day had been too long and I was hit with a plague of exhaustion to the point where I could not keep a handle of my emotions, it would seem.
“Gabriel?” Jasmine’s voice shook my out of my thoughts. “The baby? Whose is it?”
I cleared my throat, my hands on my knees. “Mine,” I said. “His mother is in a coma, and I didn’t know what else to do...” A sob broke through my throat and I closed my eyes, trying to pull myself together.
“Oh, Gabriel...”
I shook my head to stop her from approaching me, which I knew she would. And focused on what needed to be done. My son needed me. I could break down later. “I... ah knew he needed to be fed, and you were the first person I thought of who could help me.”
I stood from the couch and began to pace the living room, full of restless energy. For the first time, I let the tendrils of anger lift up and grow inside my gut. I was angry that it was not Kadie feeding our son. I was grateful for Jasmine, I was, but this should have been his mother getting to bond with our babe, and not a near-stranger. Kadie should be awake. She should not have had to endure the pain she had because of me. I was glad she was strong, but that did not make her okay.
“I owe you my life, Gabriel,” Jasmine said, her voice gentle. I stopped pacing so I could look at her but her eyes were on the child. “If you need someone to look after him until she wakes up, I can do it. You wouldn’t have to worry.”
“I don’t want to leave him here, Jasmine. But I think it may be the only way, until Kadie wakes up.” My heart squeezed at the mere mention of leaving my precious child behind, but I had a world to save, and a woman to avenge.
“It’s fine, Gabriel. Truly.” Jasmine smiled down at my son and I ran through a final check list on whether this was the right decision. Jasmine was a truly beautiful soul, and I trusted her with my son. But...
“What about your husband?” I understood the human tendency to be possessive over certain circumstances. If it were my child, I would prioritize my child above all else. But I hoped that regardless of any Darwinian tendencies, compassion still won out, even if I was not as privy to it as others.
It did not help I’d only met him once and to say he was shocked by my presence, would be an understatement.
“Don’t worry about Charles.” She looked down at my babe with a gentle smile, ruffling his hair as he continued to suckle her breast, “Plus I’ve got everything the baby needs here. Clothes, diapers, milk. I will take good care of him, Gabriel. You can trust me.”
I ran a hand through my hair. I hadn’t even thought about any of that. It was such a different feeling, being human. Thinking as though I actually was one. Diapers were not something at the forethought of my mind. Safety was. Kadie was. Nourishment and sustenance, certainly. But something as innocuous as diapers was not something that I had even thought of.
I wish Kadie were here. She would have thought of diapers and blankets and clothes and whatever else babies required. She would teach me the things I needed to know about raising a child. I would teach her about his angelic legacy. We would be partners.
But I did not have her just yet.
Which was why I was here.
“If you could...just for a few days.” I stood from the couch, my eyes on my child. He would be safe here with her, I reminded myself. And his safety was now the most important thing in my life.
Jasmine nodded and looked down on the child at her breast once again. The look on her face was something I could only describe as maternal. A prickle of anger at Demons, at Hell, at everything that was wrong with this, I took in a deep breath and released it. This was not Jasmine’s fault. I was lucky to have her.
“What’s his name, Gabriel?” Her voice broke through my thoughts and I shifted my eyes once again to Jasmine.
“We... haven’t decided yet.” And I wouldn’t decided until his beautiful mother was awake long enough to choose something with me.
If I could trust that my child remained safe, I could leave him to hunt down those responsible for kidnapping Kadie. And I planned to. If Jasmine didn’t help me, then I couldn’t do my job. I couldn’t protect Kadie. I couldn’t protect my child.
A strange tingle moved up my spine and I sat down on the couch once again next to my old Target. My knees bounced up and down, my hands dangling between my knees. I did not like to think about what would happen if I could not complete my task.
“I must get back to her,” I told Jasmine. I did not like waiting. I did not like leaving my child. But I knew I had no other option. If I wanted to ensure his safety, Kadie’s safety, I needed to extradite the Demons and make sure earth was safe once again. “I will return tonight. Are you sure you can keep him safe, Jasmine?”
I didn’t want to appear ungrateful for her help, but I now had something much more precious to lose than my place in Heaven. If Jasmine did not want the responsibility, I would not hold it against her. I would understand. I did not want her to place herself at risk – especially since she had her own child and husband to care for – unless she knew she could handle it.
“Yes.” There was absolute certainty in her voice. “And I will call for you if I see anything out of the ordinary.”
She’d gone through Hell herself, fighting off the torture of the Demons chasing her last year, and she knew every trick in their repertoire.
“All right. Thank you.” I stood up and turned to leave, but the invisible strings of love tugged me back. I dropped my head and pressed a kiss to my child’s soft hair. “I will be back, my son.”
I gave Jasmine a smile and locked the front door behind me.
My destiny had changed in one night.
I no longer cared if I ever found my way back to Heaven. I wanted Kadie alive and well, and my son safe.
The hunt had changed and so had I.
THE END of part 1.
