The moment the front door of our apartment closed behind me, I got to work, reading reviews and market research. Trying not to think about Justin, the ring, and the disaster I’d inadvertently caused. After about an hour, I gave up.
By the time Sarah arrived, I was walking in a continuous loop through the living room and kitchen, wondering how much an antique diamond ring cost. How many cupcakes would I personally need to sell to repay Justin?
Before the door even closed behind her, Sarah said, “We got the ring.”
I stopped mid-pace, flopping onto the couch with relief. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost it.”
“I’m an idiot. I should’ve waited to bake the cupcakes until after you left.”
“You couldn’t have known I’d wander into the kitchen and shove whatever I found into my mouth.”
Sarah raised her eyebrows and gave me a stern look. When I hung my head, she giggled and collapsed onto the couch next to me.
“Hey, where’s Justin? Is he coming to pick me up for dinner?”
“No, we got a call from Mom on the way here. He’s going over there now instead of waiting until later.” Their mother beat cancer twice when they were kids, and it went into remission for more than ten years. Unfortunately, it recently reappeared with a vengeance. After their father broke his back at work, Sarah and I spent a lot of time caring for both parents over the summer while Justin studied for the Florida State Bar Exam. Now that he was back at work, the two of them shared duties. I pitched in as needed.
“Oh, no. What happened?”
“I’m sure it’s nothing, but since he’s going to be gone all week, he wanted to check on them. Asked me to tell you he’s sorry about dinner and he’ll call you in the morning. I’m supposed to take the ring to be cleaned and give it to Justin in a few days. If you want, I’ll take it now and grab sushi for dinner on the way home.”
“Sounds great.” The full impact of her words sank in. “Wait, the ring is here, with you? Can I see it?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
Instead of replying, I tried to gauge whether she might possibly show me. Of course I wanted to see my future engagement ring. But also, of course Justin should be the one to give it to me. The set of her jaw suggested the futility of pushing her. I arranged my features in a way I hoped said, I’m definitely kidding if you’re not going to show it to me.
Sarah said, “You’re not even supposed to know about the ring. Justin would kill me if I told him you found it. If I actually let you see it before he proposes, he will dig up my corpse, resuscitate me, and kill me again. No way. Nuh-uh. You’re not even coming to the jeweler’s with me.”
I let out a fake, huffy sigh. “Fiiiiiine.”
“Weren’t you supposed to be working on the bakery? Did you get anything done this afternoon?”
“Absolutely!” Momentarily rejuvenated with the idea of saving Sweet Reality, I grabbed some pages I’d printed when I first got home. “First, we can do plenty of business with catering. Younger brides love cupcakes for their weddings, because they can order different kinds and give their guests options.”
“That’s a good point,” Sarah said. “But Patty’s Cakes already does cupcake towers.”
“They do, but they’re still appealing more to the Mom set. Graduations, birthday parties, etc. We’re going to bring in the Millennials. The Network’s target demographic is our audience, and that’s who we’ll advertise to. Start practicing superhero-themed cakes and stuff. Blue cakes for girls, pink cakes for boys, gender-neutral cakes, coming-out cakes. We support everyone.”
“Okay, I like that.”
“There’s more,” I said. “People like variety. They like choice. This goes back to what Justin said earlier. Patty’s Cakes makes the basics, and they do it well. Their products taste delicious. But our niche can be a rotation of baked goods with unique flavor profiles. What new recipes have you been working on?”
“Well, I came up with a s’mores cupcake, which isn’t totally unique, but Patty’s Cakes doesn’t make one. Justin found a picture of their menu on Yelp after you left.”
“That’s good. I’ll come up with a name to tie it into one of the survivalist shows. Something like, ‘S’more clothes, please?’ ” The name referenced a popular show that dropped people into the wilderness naked and gave them two weeks to find their way to civilization.
Sarah giggled. “I love it. I thought about coming up with some kind of Ariana-based cupcake, but I’m not allowed to actually poison people.”
She named my arch-nemesis from The Fishbowl, the snake who repeatedly tried to come between me and Justin, who said and did whatever she thought necessary to keep us apart. My hackles rose just thinking about her. If I got to choose, I’d never lay eyes on her again—on or off the television. No one confirmed whether she’d be on the cruise, and I spent three nights tossing and turning before Justin convinced me everything would work out.
I said, “Ariana would probably demand a royalty for using her name. I hear she trademarked it last year.”
“Of course she did.” Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “Whatevs. Anyway, I’ve been trying to recreate those coconut cupcakes for ages, but they’re never quite right.”
While Justin locked himself away to study for the bar after I moved here, Sarah and I entertained ourselves every Tuesday night with Totally 80s Celebrity Bake-off. The show pitted former child stars against each other, creating and selling baked goods at charity events. One of the contestants, a former pop star named Tammy Rae, won the finale with cupcakes every single one of the judges and guests raved over. People went for seconds and thirds. But no one knew what she put in them. Tammy Rae made a big show of emptying out the kitchen before adding whatever her “special” ingredient was, and not a hint leaked to the media in the months since.
The solution to our problem hit me while scrolling through the DVR around lunchtime. Sarah and I discussed the recipe endlessly over the summer, and she thought she figured out most of it, but we still needed the last ingredient. Now, the reminder of the show-winning recipe gave me an opportunity to feel useful, and I leapt at it. Maybe I couldn’t decorate cakes or make up recipes on my own, but Tammy Rae was rumored to be part of the cast of Real Ocean: Caribbean, which Justin and I started filming next week. I could talk her into helping us.
“You keep working on it,” I said. “Next week, I’ll convince Tammy Rae to give us her secret ingredient. Then we’ll offer something no one else can compete with: the cupcakes that won Totally ’80s Bake-off. We’ll get a ton of business. She’s more legendary now than when she was a pop star.”
The cruise Justin and I were taking next week wasn’t only a much-needed vacation, although I couldn’t wait to help him relax during the final countdown to his bar exam results. We both needed some time away together to relax after an exhausting summer. How could we refuse a free cruise? Especially after the Network agreed to pay to rush our passports. Plus, Sarah and I got added publicity for Sweet Reality. Win, win, win.
Win, win, win, win, if I got Tammy Rae’s recipe while on the ship. Sure, I didn’t know her, or have any real idea how to ask, but . . . I couldn’t let doubts get in my way now. We needed this.
As if she read my mind, Sarah asked, “What if she won’t give it to you?”
“I’ll find a way. I promise.” We had no other choice. Our livelihood depended on me getting this recipe. No matter what it took, I’d get Tammy Rae to give up her secret ingredient. Sarah and Sweet Reality were counting on me.
Chapter 3
THE QUEEN KELLY’S VOICE
Welcome to Reality Cruises!
Sunday edition
Today, we set sail from the beautiful port of Miami, Florida, on a ship packed with America’s favorite reality stars from shows such as The Fishbowl, America’s Next Drag Supermodel, Deaf Teen Mother, The Marrying Kind, and more. Settle in, unpack, and enjoy a beverage atop one of our glorious lookout decks
as we move away from Florida into the vast wide ocean. After dinner, you’ll have the opportunity to attend meet-and-greets and Q&A sessions with the stars, watch a movie from the comfort of our outdoor hot tubs, attend a comedy show, and more. The casino opens at 5:00 PM.
Tomorrow, enjoy a full day at sea. The buffet’s open 24 hours, as are the cafes throughout the Lido Deck. Get to know the people you’ve seen on TV. Attend our Reality Star Bake-off, where former contestants fight for bragging rights over the best baked goods at sea. Contact Leanna before 8:00 PM Sunday if you’re interested in participating or judging.
On Tuesday, we’ll arrive in the Bahamas. Reality stars and civilians alike will have from 7:00 AM–5:00 PM to explore the island. Check out various excursions like zip-lining, snorkeling, kayaking, and more! Those of you with scuba certifications can rent gear onboard, and someone will meet you at the disembarkation point. Wednesday’s itinerary involves a stop in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. There’s something for everyone on this island, from rich local culture to water sports to gorgeous sightseeing to magnificent excursions.
After leaving Jamaica, we’ll sail directly to Grand Cayman in the Cayman Islands. Tour the Tortuga Rum Factory and get samples of some of the highest quality rum in the world. Not a drinker? No problem. Grand Cayman also offers snorkeling, swimming with stingrays, and more!
On Friday, the Queen Kelly arrives in Cozumel, Mexico. Tour ancient ruins on horseback, enjoy deep discounts at our shopping area, or kick back and enjoy tacos and margaritas under the sun.
Enjoy another activity-filled day at sea on Saturday before the ship returns to Miami. We’ll be docking at midnight to allow you to make the most of your last day onboard. Keep an eye out for daily schedules with more information.
Inside this Edition:
Full schedule of Sunday’s events 2
Map of the ship 4-5
Meet the Stars 3, 6
The Cruise Messenger App 7
Four days later, Sarah delivered me and Justin to the docks for our trip. Between Justin’s parents’ needs, his work schedule, and the time Sarah and I’d spent working on new recipes, I’d barely seen my boyfriend since the disaster at the bakery. I didn’t know if Sarah returned the ring, if Justin brought it with him on the cruise, or if he’d prefer to wait and propose when we weren’t on camera. It wasn’t like I could ask him. Instead, I tried to push it out of my mind and focus on enjoying our trip. And getting Tammy Rae’s secret recipe.
We barely stepped onto the curb separating the boarding area from the parking lot when a barrel of energy slammed into me.
“Jen!”
“Ed!” Finding my footing, I threw my arms around The Fishbowl ’s runner-up and my good friend, Eduardo Silva. He grinned down at me unabashedly. From his lean, muscular frame to his longish dark hair and warm brown eyes always gleaming with mischief, Ed melted hearts all over America during our summer on television. And pretty much anywhere he went.
He greeted Justin briefly before turning to me. “It’s marvelous to see you. How the hell have you two been? Can you believe this monstrosity?”
The ship towered above us, nearly as long as an entire city block and casting about a mile of shade over Miami’s docks. At least ten rows of windows stretched upward from the ground to the upper decks. To my left, rows of balconies hung off the rear of the ship. The front extended beyond the edges of my peripheral vision. Strains of music reached my ears, so high above us we couldn’t make out anything but the faintest melody. The brochure told me to expect outdoor activities on the upper decks, including three pools and a water slide, but I couldn’t crane my neck far enough to see the top. We could spend the entire week exploring.
How did something so enormous float? It must weigh a million tons.
On either side of us, thousands of people streamed up gangways onto the ship. Before us, a third gangway led into the belly of the beast. Er, led into the ship waiting to take me, Justin, our friends, and a bunch of former reality stars on a fabulous vacation.
“How many levels does this thing have?” I asked.
Sounding like a page from the brochure we’d spent hours poring over when we first got the call, Justin responded. “Fifteen. Seven or eight floors of cabins, two floors of shopping in the middle levels, a casino, a gym, a running track, a miniature golf course, and the kids’ area for families. The Lido Deck has two buffets—”
“There’s a Lido Deck? Like on The Love Boat?”
“All cruise ships have a Lido Deck,” Ed replied. “That’s where the entertainment is. On this ship, there’s a twenty-four-hour pizza place, a deli, and the pools, plus some other stuff.”
“Okay, we get it. It’s bloody amazing,” Sarah grumbled. “Rub it in, why don’t you? This will be the most awesome vacation adventure ever, and I don’t get to come with you.”
“You could’ve come,” Justin said. “As long as you paid for it.”
“Right. Let me dig into my buckets of cash.” Sarah rolled her eyes at him. “It’s fine. I’ve got plenty to do at the bakery before our grand opening. I need to make Patty’s Cakes regret ever setting up shop across from us.”
“Don’t be too sad you’re not coming,” Ed said. “Hiking all over the ship will be the most exhausting ‘vacation’ I’ve ever been on. I’m going to need to hit the spa every day for a foot massage.”
Sarah rubbed her thumb and forefinger together. “Hear this? World’s smallest violin playing a sad song for you.”
Laughing, Ed pulled her into a hug. “Good to see you, too. I wish you could come with.”
“Me, too!” I said, joining in.
Sarah kissed both our cheeks before pulling away and handed me a small, clear plastic container. “You’re the best, both of you. I gotta go before they tow my car. Love you all, I’ll see you next Sunday. Bring me alcohol, and try not to get into any trouble. Especially you, Ed.”
He winked at her, and Justin pulled her aside, supposedly to talk about their mother for a minute before dropping our suitcases with the porter. I suspected he had another reason for this conversation, which made me grin far more than I should at the prospect of having my luggage checked.
This excitement would not be contained. Nearly two years ago, I’d been so sure my ex-boyfriend planned to propose right before I found out he was married. I’d been excited then, but the thought of spending my life with him never sounded as perfect as marrying Justin. He was my other half, the absolute best partner for me.
Sarah winked at me over his shoulder, her way of telling me she’d slipped him the ring. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, wishing I could share my excitement with someone, but got distracted by the massive ocean liner casting shadows over the dock. More specifically, by the lifeboats.
Eyeing the orange rubber vessels lining the sides, I turned to Ed. “Do you think they brought enough lifeboats?”
“Yes. Also, this isn’t the Titanic. We’re not gonna sink. We have communications devices to call for help. And you, Jen, have your very own hunky stud in Justin to save you if anything goes wrong. Relax. Take your Dramamine.”
I rooted around in my carry-on for a moment before giving up. “My Dramamine must be in my big suitcase . . . which I probably shouldn’t have given to him to check. At least not without putting this Tupperware in first. The carry-on is about to burst.”
Ed gestured at the container Sarah handed me before leaving. “What’s that for?”
“So I can bring her one of Tammy Rae’s cupcakes. They’re doing a tasting after the bake-off tomorrow, remember?”
One of the onboard events pitted reality stars against each other in a baking competition, which Ed apparently forgot having agreed to. Hopefully, he wasn’t going to wing it. My friend created excellent meals for everyone while we were in the Fishbowl, but his laissez-faire attitude to cooking wouldn’t produce the same delicious results in baked goods.
Instead of competing against Ed, I signed up to judge with Justin. Partially as a way of gett
ing on Tammy Rae’s good side, and partially because rumors said everyone involved got to sample her winning cupcakes after the event. I needed to be in the right place to snag one. Well, two. One for me, one for Sarah. Then I could verify whether these things tasted as good as the inter-webs claimed and butter Tammy Rae up by raving about what a baking genius she was before begging for a favor.
Where was Tammy Rae? Hopefully she hadn’t changed her mind and canceled at the last minute. According to E-Entertainment News Online, she’d mysteriously pulled out of Celebrity Poker Match a few years back, despite being a favorite to win. I scanned the docks, looking for her.
With luck, the recipe would be in my hand and I’d be lounging by the pool before the ship arrived in our first port. But one thing at a time. First, Justin and I needed to thoroughly explore and “enjoy” our cabin. Our glorious private cabin where we wouldn’t have to worry about my boyfriend’s sister or his somewhat creepy roommate hearing us through the paper-thin walls of our respective apartments. Or at least we wouldn’t know the people on the other side of our walls, so it wouldn’t matter what they heard.
Ed’s voice called me away from those thoughts, back to our conversation.
“What?” I asked.
“I said, calm down. Justin will be back soon, Tammy Rae will arrive before the ship leaves, and your suitcase, with Dramamine, will be delivered to your cabin sooner rather than later.”
“Why didn’t I take seasick pills before leaving home?” I moaned. “Why am I doing this?”
“You mean, freaking out over nothing? I couldn’t tell you.” Ed hugged me. “Really, Jen, you’ll be fine. I’ve cruised before. You won’t feel a thing.”
Finally, Justin walked toward us, sans luggage. I found myself relaxing as he put an arm around my waist and squeezed. I kissed him.
Sweet Reality Page 3
