by Al Lacy
On Sunday morning, Adam and Rachel entered the church building and were greeted warmly by the people standing in the vestibule. They walked into the auditorium to find seats, and Adam’s eyes strayed toward a row of pews near the front. His heart lurched when he saw his father turned in the pew, looking at him. My father in church? Adam couldn’t ever remember seeing his father inside a church.
Rachel saw Patch and waved at him. “Hello, Mr. Smith!”
Patch stood up, smiling at her as she came to greet him. “I received the thank-you card,” he said. “It was kind of you to send it.”
“And it was very kind of you to give me this beautiful brooch.”
“It looks nice on you.”
Rachel looked around to see if Adam was behind her and saw him across the room, motioning her to come. She excused herself to Patch and went to sit beside her husband.
When the service was over, Patch joined the long line of people who came by to welcome the new couple into the church. When it was his turn, Patch shook Adam’s hand and smiled, then welcomed them both and moved on.
“I feel such a peace in my heart since I let Jesus come in,” Rachel said as she and Adam lay in the darkness about to go to sleep.
“Wonderful, isn’t it?”
“Uh-huh. Adam … could we talk a minute?”
“Of course,” he said, rolling toward her.
“There’s something I want to talk about that was too difficult for me before.”
“What’s that?”
“Mama. You probably wondered why I never told you about how or when she died, or anything.”
Adam swallowed with difficulty. “Well, yes. But I told myself I would just wait till you brought it up. I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain.”
“You’re sweet.”
“Sometimes.”
Rachel smiled. “Anyway, I haven’t told you very much about my life. You see, Daddy and I haven’t lived in Memphis very long. We’re from Philadelphia originally. Mama’s name was Nancy … I don’t think I ever told you that.”
“No.”
Rachel told him the whole story. “And the … the scum who ran her down didn’t even have the decency to stop! Just left her lying in the mud to die!”
That night Adam did not sleep. The next morning he pretended that everything was all right, but he was torn up inside.
Adam and Rachel studied their Bibles daily and memorized Scripture to hide the Word of God in their hearts. Rachel was filled with joy at the beginning of each day and often recited Psalm 118:24 to Adam when they woke up: “This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Adam rejoiced over his newfound faith too, but the secret he carried was slowly crushing him. Rachel loved Adam with her whole being, and she sensed deep within that he was gravely troubled.
During supper one evening, Rachel had to tell Adam twice that they couldn’t go into the country for a picnic on Saturday evening because a family in the church had invited them over.
“Darling, is something troubling you?” she said.
Adam pressed a smile on his lips. “Why would you ask that?”
“I’m your wife. I love you. And I sense that you’re worrying about something.”
“Just pressure from the load I have at the office,” he said, rising from his chair. He leaned over and hugged her. “Business is too good … if that makes sense to you. I’m about to the place where I’ve got to hire another attorney to join the firm.”
This scene was repeated often as time passed. On each occasion, Adam would assure her that his preoccupation was only work pressure and nothing more. Each time, Rachel tried to believe him, and for a short time she felt better. But as his preoccupation continued, a growing apprehension came over her.
One morning after Adam had gone to work, Rachel sat down at the kitchen table, bowed her head, and asked God to give Adam the courage to tell her what was troubling him.
Day after day, Adam’s conscience ate at him. He struggled to keep his secret hidden, convinced that he must never tell Rachel that it was he who had run her mother down.
But one Sunday night, when Pastor Gann preached from Romans 12:17 that Christians must be honest in all things, Adam felt as if someone had set the pew on fire. The Spirit of God bore down on the things he was keeping from Rachel. He became even more uncomfortable when the pastor talked about husbands and wives being honest with each other.
Adam was on edge when the service was over. Others had gone to the altar under conviction from the sermon, but Adam had refused. He and Rachel were on their way to the door, shaking hands with people, when they came upon Patch Smith. Patch greeted Rachel, and as usual, shook his son’s hand. “How about me taking you and this lovely young lady to supper one of these nights?” he said.
A scowl clouded Adam’s features, and he replied, “We’re too busy.”
Rachel’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “Adam! What has gotten into you?”
Adam hurried toward the door, passing by people who were trying to speak to him. Rachel laid a hand on Patch’s arm and said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Smith. I must ask you to forgive my husband. He’s been under a lot of stress lately. He’s not been himself.”
Patch watched his son disappear through the vestibule door. “I’m sorry to hear that. Adam ordinarily has a very pleasant manner about him.”
“Yes. I’m hoping he’ll soon get back to his old self.”
Rachel found Adam waiting for her outside, and they started walking home beneath a starlit sky.
“Adam, I know you’re under stress and all, but I have to tell you that what I saw in there was uncalled for. Mr. Smith was trying to do something nice for us.”
He put an arm around her. “You’re right. I don’t know why I snapped at him like that. I’ll apologize to him, okay?”
“Okay. You owe him that. Thank you.”
For the next three weeks, Adam Burke’s conscience battled with the sermon on honesty and the secrets he was keeping from Rachel. The Word of God’s convicting power was cutting him up inside. Now he knew why the Bible called itself the sword of the Spirit.
Adam worked hard at stifling the conviction in his heart. Many times he asked the Lord if he should hurt Rachel with the truth … and possibly hurt their marriage. Every time, one line of Scripture burned through his mind: “Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”
It was almost midnight on Sunday, four weeks since the sermon on honesty. Adam let out a cry and sat bolt upright in bed. Rachel came awake instantly and reached out to touch him. Adam let his mind reach back and grasp the nightmare. He was racing the buggy down the lightning-lit street on that fateful night in Philadelphia. When he felt the horse jerk to one side and felt the right wheel go over something, he let out the cry that had awakened him and Rachel.
Rachel slipped out of bed and lit the lantern on the small table next to it. Adam’s face was beaded with sweat. She went to the washroom and returned with a towel.
“What were you dreaming about?” she asked.
When he did not reply, she leaned down on the bed facing him and pressed her head against his chest.
“Adam, I love you,” she said softly. “Whatever this is, you’ve got to share it with me. I’m your wife. I love you with all my heart. I want to help you, but I can’t unless you tell me what it is. Please don’t pass it off again as work pressure. I know better. Come on. Let me help. Tell me.”
Adam took a deep breath and sent a silent prayer heavenward, then took hold of Rachel’s shoulders. There was a quaver in his voice as he said, “I am the man … who was driving the buggy that struck your mother on that stormy night.”
It took his words a few seconds to sink it. When they did, Rachel’s hand leaped to her mouth. She closed her eyes. When she finally opened them again, she looked at him as if he had slapped her.
He took hold of her hand. “I knew this was going to hit you hard, honey. I … I tried to keep it to
myself, but hiding it from you has become unbearable. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
A tear trickled down her cheek and fell into her lap. More tears followed. She did not speak but continued to look at him as if in a daze.
“Rachel, you must believe me. The storm was violent. You should remember that. Lightning, thunder, rain pouring down. Your mother must have stepped into my path without realizing it. I didn’t even know I’d hit her until it came out in the paper the next day. Honest. I’m not a heartless beast. I did not know I had hit her!”
Rachel jerked her hand from his, staring hard at him.
“Please. You’ve got to believe me. I watched the paper to see how it was going for your mother. When it appeared that she was going to be all right, I went to the hospital to see her and was told that she had just died. I could see no reason to contact her family, nor to go tell the police I was the driver of the buggy that hit her. It would’ve served no purpose. Do you understand?”
Rachel said nothing.
“The papers never gave your name. I didn’t know you were her daughter when I wrote to you. I only learned your father’s name when his letter came. Since then I’ve carried this thing, trying to hide it so I wouldn’t hurt you.”
Adam and Rachel looked into each other’s eyes. Hers were full of pain, his with love and suffering of soul. Adam reached for her, but she drew back.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Rachel, we can’t let this thing tear us apart.”
Rachel clenched her fists and closed her eyes. Adam reached out and took her hand. She jerked it from him and rasped, “I said, don’t touch me!”
“I love you, sweetheart,” Adam said, leaning close. “You must believe that.”
“How could I have done this?” she said, staring at him through her tears. “How could I love and marry the man who killed my sweet mother?”
“Rachel, it was an accident! I didn’t even know I hit her.”
“Even so, when you realized it was my mother, you should’ve been honest and told me.”
“Yes, I should have. But please understand, it hit me like a bolt of lightning when I realized it was your mother. I found you in Memphis. The Mason family I knew about lived in Philadelphia. I was stunned when I realized who Nancy Mason’s daughter was.”
Rachel was silent for a moment, then she said, “I need to be alone.”
Adam nodded. “All right. I’ll be in the parlor.”
The night passed slowly while Adam sat in the parlor, enveloped in darkness. When dawn came, he had heard nothing from Rachel. He went to the bedroom and found her sitting in the same position as when he left hours before.
“Why don’t you lie down and get some sleep?” he said.
She looked at him with glassy eyes. “I want to be alone.”
“I have to go to work, honey. Will you be all right?”
“Of course. I’ll be alone.”
Barbara Gann opened the front door of the parsonage and saw Adam standing there. “Well, hello, Adam. You look awfully tired. Working too hard these days?”
“Not really, ma’am. I’m sorry to bother you, but is the pastor in?”
“He’s in his office at the church.”
“Would it be all right if I knock on his door? I need to talk to him.”
“Of course. Go right ahead.”
Tom Gann smiled when he opened his office door to find Adam Burke. “Hello, Adam. Pleasure to see you here. What can I do for you?”
“Pastor, I need your help.”
“Well, come in and sit down.”
Adam sat in front of Gann’s desk and told him the whole story, beginning with the night he struck Nancy Mason with his buggy in Philadelphia.
“I can’t get her to talk to me, Pastor. She just keeps saying she wants to be alone. I worked till noon and went home, and she was still in her nightgown and told me she wanted to be alone. I couldn’t get her to eat anything. What can I do?”
The preacher sighed. “Rachel seems to like my wife. How about if I bring Barbara to the house and let her talk to her?”
“Fine. I’ll try anything.”
“We’ll be over right after supper.”
“All right, sir. I really appreciate it.”
“Before you go, let’s pray for Rachel and ask the Lord to help her see that she needs to let Him heal the breach between you.”
Gann led them in prayer, then walked Adam to the door and laid a hand on his shoulder. “It may not seem like it right now, Adam, but you did the right thing in telling her. It’s always right to obey the Word of God, which you did. We’ve laid this situation in the Lord’s hands, and now we must trust Him to take care of it.”
The Ganns arrived at the Burke house, and Barbara went into the bedroom and talked to Rachel. She was even able to get her to eat a little food. When Barbara came out of the bedroom two hours later, she suggested that she move into the house for a few days so she could feed Rachel and talk with her. The pastor and Adam agreed. Adam said he would stay at the hotel and come by the house a couple of times a day to check on Rachel.
This went on for over a week. Rachel stayed secluded in the bedroom and refused to see anyone but Barbara. She was eating better and letting Barbara pray with her and read Scripture to her, but she still didn’t want to see Adam.
When Rachel had been secluded in the bedroom for two weeks, Barbara met Adam in the parlor on his morning visit and said, “Good news. The Lord is answering prayer. I’ve finally been able to persuade her to talk to my husband. I’ll go get him after I feed her some breakfast.”
“No need,” Adam said. “I’ll go tell him Rachel’s ready to talk.”
It was shortly after nine o’clock when Pastor Gann knocked on the Burkes’s door. Barbara met him with a smile on her face. “She’s still in the mood to see you, honey. I think you can help her.”
The Ganns entered the bedroom together. Rachel was sitting in an overstuffed chair by the window, wearing a robe, and Barbara had brushed her hair.
“Good morning, Rachel,” Gann said.
She smiled up at him. “Good morning, Pastor.”
“Thank you for letting me come and talk to you. We’ve all been concerned about you, you know … especially Adam.”
Rachel stared blankly at him.
“Rachel, do you love your husband?”
“Do I love Adam?” She looked out the window a moment, then back at the pastor. “Adam cut my heart out, Pastor. How can I live with the man who killed my mother? How can I look at him day after day, knowing what he did? Not only did he take my mother from me, he took my father too. The only way my father could cope with Mama’s death was to drown himself in whiskey. We lost everything, Pastor! Everything!”
Gann leaned close to Rachel, looking into her eyes. “The tragedy of your mother’s death was terrible for you, I know. Adam has already told me about your father losing the business and all … but he also told me your father has recently been saved and is off the bottle.”
A smile graced Rachel’s lips. “Yes, that’s true.”
Gann cleared his throat. “Rachel, if you shut Adam out of your life, you will be making a monumental mistake. He loves you. The two of you have a great future ahead of you if you will only give your marriage a chance. Will you let me bring Adam in so I can talk to both of you at the same time?”
Rachel swung fearful eyes to Barbara.
“I’ll be right here too, honey,” she said.
Rachel licked her lips nervously, looked back at Gann, and nodded.
He patted her hand. “I’ll go get Adam. I don’t know how his appointments are set up for today, but I’ll be back with him as soon as possible.”
A half hour later, Adam entered the bedroom ahead of the pastor and found Barbara standing over Rachel, who was still sitting in the overstuffed chair. Rachel finished drinking a cup of water and handed it back to Barbara, smiling her thanks. When Rachel looked at Adam, her smile faded.
“Hello, sweeth
eart,” Adam said softly. “You’re looking beautiful today, as always.” He sat down in front of her with the pastor beside him. Barbara was seated beside Rachel.
“Rachel,” Gann said, “I want to help both you and Adam. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded without meeting his gaze.
Pastor Gann reminded Rachel of the mercy Jesus had shown her in forgiving her and washing away all her sins in His blood. He opened his Bible and read several passages of Scripture about Christians being merciful and forgiving those who have wronged them. He then asked Rachel to read Matthew 5:7 aloud, reminding her that they were the words of Jesus Himself.
Rachel took the Bible from the pastor’s hands and read with a steady voice, “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”
“What Adam needs from you now, Rachel, is mercy. He needs your forgiveness.”
Rachel looked at the verse again, then said to Adam, “The only way I’ll forgive you is if you’ll bring my mother back to me.” Then she turned to Barbara and began to sob.
Adam sat without moving for a moment, then jumped out of his chair and said, “Pastor, I have to go somewhere right now. It’s very, very important. Will both of you stay here with Rachel? I won’t be gone long.” Adam bent over his wife and said, “Rachel, I love you. Nothing can ever change that.”
PATCH SMITH WAS WORKING IN HIS OFFICE at North Platte Clothiers when there was a tap at the door. “Yes, Jack?” he called, looking up from paperwork.
Jack Brady leaned in and said, “Adam Burke is here. He’d like to see you.”
Patch rose from his chair. “By all means, send him in.”
Jack left the door open, and a few seconds later, Adam came in and closed the door behind him. “Dad, I need to talk to you.”
Patch rounded the desk and picked up two straight-backed chairs from by the wall. “Here, son. Sit down.” Then he opened the door and called to Jack, telling him he was not to be disturbed. “what can I do for you?” he said, sitting down to face Adam.
“Well, first you can listen while I tell you a long story. Do you have time?”
