Frankie smiled, blood dripping from the side of his mouth and looking eerie in the truck’s dome light. “Bambi felt sorry for me. She didn’t expect those guys to hit me so hard, just teach me a lesson on how to be a gentleman. She brought me a couple more shots to dull the pain while I waited for you.”
“Yeah?” Thayne wasn’t about to put Bambi up for sainthood just because she felt guilty. “Why didn’t she call an ambulance?”
“Pshaw.” Frankie patted Thayne’s face lazily. “You’s better than ambulance. Medic and free.”
And trying to get some action with cat woman, before Frankie ruined everything by getting his ass kicked.
Speaking of which, he needed to hurry home before Laura fell asleep. He wanted to know who Brian was and what she meant about him being the reason for her panic attacks. Was he some asshole who beat her or something, causing her to flee her old life and unable to cope well? Or was he some noble dude she loved desperately but couldn’t have? If that were the case, how could Thayne hope to compete?
Whatever the truth, he had to take care of Frankie before getting to the bottom of it.
He just hoped none of Laura’s truths meant they couldn’t be together.
***
What was that?
Laura woke suddenly to the creaking of an opening door. Heart pounding, she glanced to the right to see a shadow standing in front of the open closet door, the moonlight barely illuminating the room enough to see.
“Thayne?”
“Shhhh... Go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
Laura turned in the bed, fumbling for the bedside lamp she’d noticed earlier. When she clicked it on, Thayne stared at her, frowning. Maybe he’d had time to get more upset after leaving.
Hopefully if she got him talking, they could work things out. “Is Frankie okay?”
Nodding, Thayne crossed the room and sat next to her. “He’ll live. How about you? Are you okay?”
“Yes.” Despite her fear that he would reject her, Laura reached for his hand, twining her fingers through his. “I didn’t go into a full-blown panic attack, so that’s a plus.”
“Hmmm...” Thayne stared at her for a breathless eternity, looking as if he wanted to ask something, but not sure he wanted the answer. “Go back to sleep,” he finally said. “I’m going to grab a blanket and sleep in my chair. We’ll talk in the morning.”
She squeezed his hand tighter, not willing to let go now that she’d come so far. She needed him to know why she was so screwed up. If he rejected her after that, fine, but she at least had to try. It was the only way she’d ever move forward.
“Don’t go. Sleep here.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t be with you if you want Brian. Whoever he is.”
Taking in a long breath, Laura knew she should just go for it. “Brian died, seven years ago.”
“Seven...?” Thayne shook his head. “And that’s how long since you’ve been with anyone. He must have been special. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Laura so badly wanted Thayne to hold her, but he still looked unwilling to join her in bed.
I have to get this over with, and then we’ll see.
“Brian was a cop. He was shot in a domestic violence call the night before our wedding.”
It sounded so stark when she blurted it out like that, and Thayne recoiled slightly, a look of horror covering his face.
“Laura, that’s...”
She didn’t blame him for not knowing what to say. She didn’t know what to say about it most of the time. “The worst part is, I didn’t know. I had my bachelorette party that night. The next morning, I took care of all the last-minute wedding details—all while he lay there, dying in that operating room.”
Familiar panic stole her breath as she spoke, and the ever-present coldness crept into her fingers. She shut her eyes, trying to visualize herself somewhere happy like Dr. Mason had suggested as a tactic to reduce stress.
This has to work. It’s the only thing I have right now.
The breathing wasn’t helping, and no matter how hard she pretended there was a warm beach in front of her and sand under her toes, the panic continued to spread.
Thayne’s weight shifted on the bed, and he removed his hand from hers.
Laura kept her eyes tightly shut, but it felt like her last anchor to reality had abandoned her, and the onrush of panic loomed even closer.
Suddenly, Thayne lay against her side, pulling her toward him to hug her tight. “I don’t know what to say, Laura, except you had no way of knowing about it, so can’t hold yourself responsible.”
“Everyone says that,” she whispered, “but it isn’t entirely true. I knew something was wrong when he didn’t contact me that morning. I could feel it. Everyone said not to worry, that he’d be there before the ceremony started. But I knew. I should have looked for him.”
“It’s not your fault,” Thayne repeated, kissing her forehead and wiping tears gently from the corners of her eyes.
“I wish I could believe that. Maybe I could get past the guilt and pain to start a new life.” She looked up at him, grabbing onto her courage to say what she had to say. “One with you.”
His hand stroked her side with extreme tenderness. “That’s what I want,” he finally said. “You’re all I can think about, Laura. I’ve been hit by something I never expected—love. Now I feel like my life will never be complete without you in it.”
Laura pulled him down for a kiss, her anxiety fading slightly with his acceptance. “It’s been the same for me, but I tried to fight it. Why do I deserve a second chance when Brian...?”
Thayne pressed his head against hers, just holding her to him. Laura gradually calmed completely, feeling safe and protected in Thayne’s embrace.
His breathing was deep and even, and she wondered if he’d fallen asleep.
He’s had a hell of a day, and I didn’t help matters by refusing to leave that building without Snips. Or by freaking out when his phone rang and giving him blue balls.
“We aren’t that different,” he said after a few minutes, startling her from a light doze. “I’m responsible for my old partner’s death, and I can’t let it go. Bonnie says I have to, but it’s not easy.”
Laura had been so wrapped up in her own pain, it didn’t occur to her Thayne could be suffering too. She tried not to worry about who Bonnie might be. After all, Thayne made it clear he wanted her, not some other woman, but he was hurting now.
I’ve been a selfish brat for a lot of years, it seems, even if Dr. Mason was too professional to say it like that. Time to focus on the outside world again.
“What happened?” It was her turn to pat him comfortingly and try to express her support.
“We came up on a house fire and didn’t think anyone was home. The car was gone, and we didn’t see bikes lying in the yard or anything like that to make us think kids were inside. As we fought the fire, Carl heard crying from inside. He and I went to investigate.” Thayne’s breath hitched as though he had a hard time going on.
Laura simply rubbed a small circle on his chest, letting him know she was there for him.
“Turned out, the parents had gone out drinking and left their three small kids at home. We found the two older ones right away and got them outside, but they said their baby brother was in a crib, trapped in one of the back bedrooms. The fire was too bad at this point to risk it, but Carl wouldn’t give up. He convinced our Captain to let us go in to save the baby.”
Laura didn’t know if it was better to talk or keep silent, though the thought of their choice was horrifying. If they didn’t go back, it was certain death for the infant. If they did, they risked themselves.
“We hurried through the heat and smoke to the back of the house. At this point, it was nearly impossible to see. I thought I heard a noise and stopped for just a few seconds to shine my light into a room. That’s when a major support beam collapsed and half the house caved in. On Carl.”
Against Laura’s side, Thayne’s hand balled into a fist.
“Damn him!” he yelled. “He separated from me. We aren’t supposed to do that. I couldn’t save him. I dug and dug, urged on by his screams of pain, but there was no hope. By the time we got to him, he and the baby were both dead.”
Thayne stayed very still, and Laura had the impression he fought back tears.
“He left his wife, a six-month-old girl, and a two-year-old toddler. How could he have done that?” Thayne’s chest hitched a few times beneath her. “And why couldn’t I save him?”
She pulled away slightly, gazing into his red-rimmed eyes. “You aren’t responsible. He took that chance. He insisted on going back in the house. You did your best to save him.”
“Somehow knowing that doesn’t make it any better,” Thayne said, voice flat and devoid of emotion.
“Unfortunately, I know the feeling exactly.” She kissed him softly, stroking his face with a gentle touch. “I think both Brian and Carl would want us to stop blaming ourselves and be happy. At least, I hope Brian would.”
He and I were supposed to be together forever. And, sure, forever is an awfully long time at our young ages back then, but I thought I was ready for life as a police officer’s wife. Am I ready for life with a firefighter boyfriend?
She still wished Thayne had a different job, but it was impossible to deny her feelings any longer. He needed her, and she needed him. If they had even a chance of making each other happier, nothing else mattered.
Thayne ran his thumb across her lips, his touch warm and loving. “If something happened to me, I’d want you to find happiness. I’m sure Brian felt the same. I know Carl wanted that for his wife.”
Laura shuddered slightly. “Let’s not even consider that possibility, okay?”
“Deal.” He wrapped her in his arms, pulling her across his body and stroking her back. “We can’t change the past, only the future. I’m glad we talked, but I think we need sleep now.”
“As long as you promise to hold me all night.”
“All night, every night, cat woman.”
Chapter Fifteen
Thayne woke slowly, feeling more relaxed and whole than he had since Carl’s death. Sometime in the night he had rolled to his stomach, and Laura remained tucked safely half beneath his chest. Her soft breaths puffed against his skin as she slept.
He glanced at the clock on his nightstand, seeing it was already past ten. He hadn’t slept this late in years, but after yesterday he needed it. They both did.
Softly kissing her smooth lips, Thayne knew he had to do whatever it took to keep Laura happy and in his life. She was open and honest with him last night, and it felt good to share with her as well. Like they were a team. He needed that.
Her lashes quivered and then her eyes fluttered open. A sweet smile crossed her beautiful face. “Good morning, god man.”
Thayne chuckled, kissing her again now that she could appreciate it. He broke away, smoothing her hair against her head while he smiled down at her. “What’s up with this god man stuff? You were saying that last night before we were interrupted.”
Her tongue darted out to the corner of her lips, and she flushed prettily. “It’s kind of embarrassing now that you ask about it.”
“Hey, god man wants to get with cat woman, but he’d like some answers. Don’t make me hold out on you in the bedroom. I know you want more than that taste I gave you last night.”
She giggled and traced a random outline against his lower back with a soft touch, sending a jolt of excitement through Thayne.
“I’ve waited seven years,” she said. “I’m sure I could outlast you.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Thayne ran his hand lightly over Laura’s upper chest, barely touching the skin. It puckered beneath his fingers, just as he anticipated. It would work better if she were naked, but at least she was trapped beneath him and completely at his mercy.
When he nibbled at her breasts over the top of the shirt, her nipples protruded with alacrity. Thayne continued the downward trail of his hand while barely teasing her lusciously round mounds.
Laura made a soft, partly strangled sound. He could tell she struggled to not let on that his touch excited her. And that excited him all the more.
His hard length pressed against her side, already standing to attention, but Thayne knew he could make her give in before he did.
He rubbed the outside of her sweats against her, increasing the pressure of his hand to stroke between her legs. He angled the seam in just the right position, rubbing it sideways so it would flick against her sensitive clit.
Laura’s breathing accelerated, and she tipped her head away from him, letting out a soft moan.
Victorious, Thayne jerked his hand away, staring down at her partially-lidded gaze. “Do you want to tell me now, or shall I make breakfast?”
She struggled to get up, not speaking.
Curious, Thayne backed off and allowed her to move from beneath him.
She pushed against his shoulder, forcing him onto his back. Her butterfly touches returned as she hesitantly touched his chest, circling the hardened buds on his pecs before working downward.
Thayne sucked in a ragged breath, his cock stiffening further when Laura’s hand rubbed over the top of his boxers. Thankfully, he’d turned his phone off before going to sleep last night. Nothing would stop them this time.
“I found that box of condoms last night when I put away the groceries.” Laura wrapped her hand around him, closing the loose fabric around his shaft. She jerked him off experimentally, biting her bottom lip in concentration. “You were pretty sure of yourself, don’t you think?”
She continued jerking up and down, and it was his turn to moan.
“Laura, that feels so good.”
“Does it?”
She moistened her lips and Thayne nearly came right then. He had to have more of her.
“I can think of something that feels better,” she taunted. “All you have to do is admit defeat.”
Thayne nodded, grabbing her by the hair and directing her toward his mouth. He consumed her lips, desperate for her. His cock throbbed with his heartbeat and an ache worse than the night before overcame him. She couldn’t leave him like this. It would be too cruel.
“You win,” he said huskily. “Just don’t stop.”
With a smile, Laura pulled away from him and stripped off her shirt. “Just let me get these shorts off you.”
***
It’s like riding a bike. Or, well, sucking a big lollipop. Whatever it is, I can do this. I’ll make him the happiest he’s ever been.
Laura tugged Thayne’s shorts off, his stiffened dick springing back to attention like a blow-up punching doll. She licked her lips, looking at the glisten of moisture beading at the tip of his cock. Cautiously, she tongued her way around the head, lubricating it before sucking him into her mouth.
Thayne was big, and Laura pulled back to lick her palms, using them to extend her reach. As she took him into her mouth, running fully down his rigid length, Thayne buried one hand in her hair and the other gripped the sheet on the bed beside him.
“Oh, yes. You feel so good.”
She took as much of him down her throat as she could handle, shifting one hand to fondle his balls.
His hand tightened in her hair and tugged on it. The aggressiveness of the action seemed loving at the same time, making her own juices flow.
Why the hell have I been waiting?
She had figured she could live forever without sex, but she was wrong. She wanted Thayne more than she’d ever wanted anyone. Increasing her suction, she worked up and down, bringing him nearly to the edge of happiness before stopping and squeezing against the base of his cock and gently shifting his balls downward. She heard this could stop an orgasm and it seemed to work as Thayne let out a frustrated groan.
She stopped moving for several seconds, giving him time to calm himself.
“You taste deli
cious, god man.” She tried imagining herself as his sexy cat woman to keep from being embarrassed at the naughtiness of her words. “But I want the first time either of us comes to be together.”
His hand loosened in her hair, and he nodded. “Come up here. Kiss me.”
Releasing him, she made her way back to his mouth, rubbing her chest against him along the way. Even the slight brushes of his skin stimulated her, and she wanted him inside her.
She came at him for a kiss, and Thayne let out a growl, flipping her onto her back.
Letting out a startled squeak, Laura thought she might explode then and there. God man has talent!
Thayne shoved his hand into the top of her pants and his fingertip flicked against her, overwhelming her with sensation as the throbbing and pulsating need consumed her.
“You’re so damn wet,” he whispered, biting her earlobe in a pleasurable pain. “It makes me hot.”
“Oh, god man. I’m hot for you. So fucking hot.” She wiggled out of the sweatpants and let her legs fall open, giving him better access. “I put the condoms in the nightstand. Hurry, Thayne. I want you inside me.”
“I love the dirty talk, cat woman. I can’t wait to make you scream.” He leaned across her, burying his face into her breasts, sucking and licking.
She felt a sense of loss when he stopped flicking her clit to fumble for the package of condoms.
When he pulled them loose, Laura grabbed them, ripping open the carton and tearing off a package.
“Anxious, huh?” he asked, smiling. “I should have held out longer to hear the god man story.” He took the wrapper, ripping it open with his teeth and slipping the condom on. “But I don’t want to wait. I’ll show you what you’ve been missing.”
Repositioning himself on the bed, he yanked Laura’s sweats off, then gripped her ankles and slid between her legs. His hard length pressed against her as Thayne propped himself on his elbow above her, kissing her lips with a gentleness that belied his sex talk.
“You’re so special, Laura. So wonderful.”
She caressed his face with one hand, reaching between them with the other. She guided him to her opening, never looking away from his green eyes. He kissed her again, both of them keeping their eyes open.
Blazing Love Page 11
