Shattered Treasure

by Cindy Patterson

  Reeled back in time, Addison remembered a time when her and Casey stepped off the school bus on a Monday afternoon, but no one was home to let them in. Four hours later, sweat clinging to their skin as the sun lowered beyond the trees, their mouths parched from thirst, their family’s small rusty car pulled into the drive. Mama and and her step-daddy both exited the car laughing. And the only thing given to her and her sister was another one of Mama’s flawed excuses.

  Addison returned to her classroom, her thoughts fading from her own memories to the mother’s words. The tiniest of things sparked the reality of her current situation to the forefront of her mind. The child she carried. The idea of a child growing inside her made her blood spike and her breathing irregular. It took every bit of strength Addison had to not ask questions about Charlotte’s pregnancy.

  After wiping down all the tables with a bottle of cleaner to kill all the germs that tiny fingers could carry, she straightened the tables in each row. She placed the already copied papers on the edge of each cleaned desk for Monday morning. Each box she carefully placed inside the appropriate cubby, then grabbed her tote and walked across the parking lot to her car. Alone.

  She thought of Logan and physically ached to see him. Each moment spent with him was evidence that they were meant to be together. But not like this. Not pregnant with Philip’s baby. She had to make a decision about carrying the baby and putting it up for adoption, or the only other alternative. The choice that would allow her to keep Logan but would end the baby’s life.

  And she was running out of time.

  Pulling her car onto the highway, she drove in the opposite direction of home. And before she knew what was happening, she merged onto I-40 heading west.

  As she came closer to the area where she’d grown up, the signs started looking familiar. The same buildings that had been there her whole life stood in the same places, with cars still crowding the parking lot at this hour. Traffic had already thickened with the nearing of the close of another workday. She should feel something like peace, returning to a place she called home, but she felt nothing but emptiness.

  She climbed the stairway to the apartment and pressed the doorbell. An out-of-body feeling plagued her. She shouldn’t be here.

  “Addison, what are you doing here?”

  Looking into Nathan’s worried eyes, the tears she’d fought all the way here now freely streamed from her eyes. The reality she’d avoided the last two weeks had caught up to her and her knees buckled against the weight of the truth. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have come. I just don’t know what else to do.”

  Nathan took her hand and led her inside. “What’s going on?”

  Hysterical sobs choked through and she struggled to catch a full breath. “I didn’t know who else to talk to.”

  “It’s okay. Why don’t you just start at the beginning?”

  “It’s Logan.” His name fell from her lips in a rasping sound, like her heart had been ripped in two.

  “Is everything okay? I haven’t talked to him in a couple of weeks.”

  “I’m all wrong for him.” Fresh tears spilled onto her cheeks.

  Nathan’s gaze sharpened. “Is this because of Philip? You should tell Logan what happened. It wasn’t your fault.”

  Addison didn’t believe that for one minute. It was her fault. She should’ve been honest with Philip from the beginning. None of this would’ve happened if only she’d been honest.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  His confident expression twisted into a fierce straight line and he drew in several, slow deep breaths. He fell back against the couch, bringing his bawled fist to his mouth. “That slime.” His gaze flicked to hers for an instant, his assurance traded for helplessness.

  She walked across the room. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Are you sure? I mean, you’ve already seen a doctor?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “Have you told anybody else?”

  “No, I planned to tell my aunt as soon as I came home from the clinic Saturday morning two weeks ago, but Logan was there.” She stared through the window, studying the trees lining the parking lot. “I couldn’t. I still don’t know what to do. I’m running out of time. I need to make a choice.” Saying the words out loud created a torrent of guilt and twisted the knot in her stomach even deeper, stealing her breath.

  She faced Nathan, waiting for his response. His elbows were propped on his knees, his face hidden behind his hands, and he said nothing. He stayed that way for a long moment before he looked up at her. His lips parted, but no sound emerged from his mouth. He seemed to take on the regret as if it were his responsibility.

  “This is not your problem, Nathan.”

  He shook his head and leaned back against the couch.

  “If I give the baby up for adoption, everyone would find out. I would have to explain what Philip did to me.”

  He looked at her with such compassion, it stole her breath. “What Philip did to you was wrong. It was very wrong, Addison.”

  “Would God be okay with ... it, if it was … against my will?” She still couldn’t voice the word rape or abortion. Not out loud.

  Nathan stood, pacing back and forth. “Did you talk to a nurse? I mean, did you tell her what happened?”

  “I started to, but something stopped me. You’re the only one I’ve told.”

  Determination swept across his expression. “And if you have an abortion, no one would ever have to know?”

  A small ounce of hope settled upon her. “No one but you … and me.”

  “I’m the last person you should be getting advice from, Addison.”

  “I know I should’ve talked to my aunt or Taylor. But I didn’t want them to know ... just in case. I didn’t want anyone else to know.”

  “Okay, so let me ask you a question. If you go through with this—abortion; do you really believe everything will be fine? That it will be like none of this ever happened?”

  His words played over in her mind, the real meaning behind them piercing her soul. Slowly a bitter, stabbing pain webbed its way through her heart. Knowing that every single child in her classroom, in her school, in the world, would remind her that this child’s chance at life had been stolen by her choice. “No, I don’t believe that.”

  “You’ll be starting a relationship with Logan built on lies.”

  “I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. I love him, Nathan.”

  He took a deep breath, still watching her, his eyes squinted as if considering his words. “Two close friends of mine dated all through high school. The circumstances were different, but she became pregnant, and because she was still in high school, she aborted the baby. Her boyfriend agreed it was the right thing to do. They were too young to have a baby and weren’t ready to get married. That happened five years ago just before her seventeenth birthday.”

  Addison leaned forward, absorbing every word. “Wow, she was so young! How is she now? Are you still friends?”

  “Yes, she comes over occasionally. They both do.”

  Her eyes widened. “So, they’re still together?”

  “No, they broke up weeks after the procedure. A procedure that is more horrifying than most people realize. She still struggles with the decision she made to destroy her child. She can’t talk about it without crying. She has asked the same question a million times. Why didn’t I just give her up for adoption?” The shift in his tone was unmistakable.

  Nausea rolled in her stomach and she stood, fighting against it. She was only thinking of herself, selfishly thinking of how to keep from suffering any consequences, when this baby growing every minute inside her had done nothing wrong. It wasn’t her fault. How could it be fair to punish, to murder her unborn baby? “You said she. But she couldn’t have known.” A little girl just out of her reach, repeating the word Mommy over and over had filled her dreams every night since she took the pregnancy test.

  Nathan closed his eyes. “She knew.�
��

  She fell back against the cushion, her body heaving in response to his words. She knew. She saw. But how? She couldn’t ask the forbidden question. Her mouth opened, but no sound escaped.

  “I know this is hard to hear, but you should know everything. It’s not simply taking care of it. It will never go away. This will always be a part of you … something you will carry with you for the rest of your life. I know your situation is different, but will you be able to live with your decision? That’s what you need to decide. And really, Addison, this isn’t about Logan. This is about you. Even if you were able to keep Logan, would it be enough?” Nathan sat in the space next to her. “My brother loves you, Addison. I know him better than anyone. I see the way he watches you, the way he acts around you. There’s no doubt in my mind how he feels about you. Just think about telling him. I can’t even imagine how you must feel—how scared you must be, but it will make you feel better. It will be okay.”

  Uncontrollable sobs broke through and she lay back down and curled into a ball, resting her head against the arm of the loveseat.

  “I’m sorry,” she told him, between sobs. “I don’t mean to keep doing this to you. This isn’t your problem.”

  She only had a few weeks left to make her decision, before it was too late. The counselor at the center had told her the earlier, the better. How the pill was the most popular choice but was only available up to ten weeks from conception. How it would be much like a period, only heavier. How ending her pregnancy would be easy, ending her baby’s life would be too easy.

  How had she even considered it as an option?

  Logan hadn’t known what to expect as he merged onto I-40 toward Raleigh after receiving a text from Nathan asking him to come over.

  Things had been going great with Addison and he was anxious to talk to his brother.

  Pulling into Nathan’s apartment parking lot two hours later, he shut off his lights that already glared with dusk upon them.

  He found a spot on the back side of the parking lot and took a deep breath.

  He twisted one of his shirt buttons as he walked across the lot, glancing toward Nathan’s door. Turning sideways to walk between Nathan’s truck and a white Camry parked at an angle, he took a second look. The car looked like Addison’s. He had never paid attention to white Camrys until he met her, he thought, climbing the stairs to Nathan’s upper-level apartment.

  It wasn’t until he glanced again, after knocking on the door, that he noticed the wired figure hanging from the rearview mirror … identical to the one that hung in Addison’s car.

  The soft knock roused Addison from her dream. She opened her eyes to find the room dark. She sat straight up, realizing after a few jumbled seconds that she’d fallen asleep on Nathan’s couch.

  Unable to clear her blurred vision, she glanced at the large clock hanging on the opposite wall. Eight-thirty. How long had she been sleeping? Soft voices filtered into the living room.

  The door burst open and, startled, she turned. Logan stood in the doorway staring at her. She stood quickly, the sudden motion awkward. Had Nathan called him? Nathan followed behind him, his tanned cheeks a full shade lighter.

  Logan stared at her with skepticism, his frown slowly deepening with sorrow. He spoke tensely, cautiously. “What are you doing here?”

  Dread washed over her as her betrayal seemed to ooze from his pores, seeping into her skin like poison.

  Addison crossed the room and reached out to him, a sudden longing to feel his touch directing her. He flinched, taking a step back. She glanced at Nathan, desperation bleeding through her veins.

  That one look of betrayal changed everything.

  Logan turned and hurried through the front door, not once looking back. Addison froze, waiting until she could no longer see him before she screamed out his name. “Logan—”

  Nathan blew out a frustrated breath. “Stay here. Let me talk to him.”

  What would Nathan say? Would he tell Logan the truth? She fell into the loveseat, pulling her legs to her waist, and prayed like she never had before.

  Her emotions unbalanced, she took a risk on hope, stood and rushed through the front door.

  Logan jumped in his truck, anxious to get away. The agony crushing his chest raced against him. He should’ve known better than to trust her or his brother. How could he have let this happen again? How could he have been so blind?

  Addison’s guilty expression would forever be burned in his memory. She’d been caught and didn’t even try to deny it. She just stood there, her face a mixture of shame and regret. But what did she regret? Hurting him, or getting caught?

  Logan slammed the truck into reverse, ready to speed from the parking space as fast as he could. Music blared through the speakers, drowning out the voices desperate to make him crazy.

  What was he thinking?

  He couldn’t afford to lose his temper. It might cost him his job. Plus, he couldn’t just leave without answers.

  Logan threw the gear in park and scrambled from the truck.

  Nathan leaned against the rail. “Are you finished throwing your temper tantrum?”

  Logan charged his brother, and within seconds he was pushing him against the building, until a shrill cry came from upstairs.

  “Stop! Please don’t fight,” Addison screamed, her voice breaking with each word.

  Logan stepped backward. He couldn’t do this in front of Addison, no matter how badly she’d hurt him.

  “Logan, please—”

  What was she doing here? Why? Nothing made sense as he meandered away.

  “Can you please come back upstairs? This is ridiculous, Logan. I really can’t believe ...” Nathan shook his head in disgust. “You just need to calm down.”

  Nathan reached out to grab him, but Logan shook his arm away. It would be better to leave before he did something he’d regret. Still facing his brother, he felt Addison’s presence and turned at the sound of her heavy breathing.

  Agony twisted through him, hate seeping into every muscle of his body with each thought of catching them together. Blinded by fury, he turned to her.

  He couldn’t let this happen again. Not because of his brother. Not this time. Addison loved him. She wasn’t Carrie. He needed to calm down and hear her out. “What are you doing here?”

  She slumped against him, digging her fingers into his shirt, hanging onto him. Nathan turned and took a step leading to his apartment.

  “I’ll leave you two to talk. Don’t do anything stupid, Logan.”

  Icy chills sliced through Logan’s skin. He wanted to rip Nathan’s arrogant head off his shoulders.

  Addison pulled back, still clinging to him, watching his every move. Her eyes were red and swollen. He’d been too angry earlier to notice.

  She took a step closer, fear lacing her expression. “Can we go somewhere?”

  Weary from it all, he let his arms hang limp by his sides and he didn’t budge, unwilling to give in to her.

  Addison had never seen Logan so angry. Even when he’d thought she’d been drinking and driving that night, his eyes didn’t hold this much hate. Now she was responsible once again for coming between Logan and his brother.

  From one breath to the next, something in his demeanor transformed and Logan took her hand. “Let’s go.”

  Addison surrendered to his touch, comforted by the connection, but her jaw was still shaking, her heart fluttering restlessly.

  Logan led her along the sidewalk, the thick rasp of his breath an indication he was still upset. Very upset.

  His shoulders slumped in defeat with each step. How would she ever survive this?

  Thanking God for this time to think about what she wanted to say, she prayed for a solution, a miracle. But there was no other way. She had already caused too much strife for Ami’s family. Being responsible for separating Ami’s brothers was something she could never live with.

  Logan envied Nathan. Her years of experience with Philip gave her more insight than sh
e needed on how a man reacted when faced with the corruption of jealousy. She’d avoided the truth for months, not wanting to believe it, but she could no longer do that.

  It was obvious and this was all her fault.

  The hazy light of the moon filtered down on them from the darkened sky as they walked hand in hand toward the nearby park. Reaching the slide, Logan stopped walking, the same question flooding his mind. Nothing he came up with made any sense, nothing except his biggest fear. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

  She kept a safe distance, backing away and keeping her gaze glued to the concrete beneath her feet.

  “Logan, first of all …” she started, her words a jerky whisper. “Your brother had nothing to do with this. I showed up at his apartment. He had no idea I was coming. I wasn’t invited. Nathan did nothing wrong. It was all me.”

  Logan pressed against the steel ladder holding himself upright, defeat constricting his lungs. “You have feelings for him?”

  “Not the way you’re thinking. But yes, I love your whole family. Nathan’s like a brother, but that’s all.” She touched Logan’s arm, speaking softly yet determined. “You shouldn’t fight. He’s your brother. You’re so blessed to have each other.”

  “We’re not fighting, he just … I don’t know. I let him get to me. I still don’t understand what you’re doing here.”

  She shook her head, her distress a silent shrill, foreboding winding a coil around his chest.

  “There’s something you should know.” He fixed his gaze on her. A glimpse of hope flashed across her face. “I dated a girl in high school. Her name was Carrie.” He had her attention. She waited expectantly. “We’d made plans to go out on a Friday night, so I drove to her house to pick her up. But on the way, I saw her and Nathan walking from one of the high school hangouts. At first, I thought nothing of it, not until I saw the way she looked at him, and then she stretched up and kissed him on the mouth.” Addison gasped and he stopped. He wanted to explain, but he could tell she was hurting. Was this really what he should say right now?