by Kamryn Hart
Cedric and Willow observed Rogue warily. Both of them looked like they were going to spring forward and catch him before he could fall back into the snow if he needed them to. Stupid Blue Pack. Stupid pack mentality.
“Emily Walker is my Fated Mate’s sister,” Rogue explained. Because now he didn’t have a choice. Each word to leave his mouth seemed to eat his tongue like acid. “I held my Fated Mate in my arms as he died and he asked me for one last promise. He told me to promise never to see Emily again. So I did. I promised.” He instinctively touched his cheek where the once dormant Lunas Sigil had manifested to see that promise fulfilled.
Willow’s pretty face scrunched up and tears glistened at the corners of her brown eyes. “Why would your Fated Mate make you promise something like that?”
“It sounds cruel,” Cedric agreed.
Rogue looked between the two of them. He was dead tired, no longer putting up a front. He probably finally looked as hollow as he felt.
He told them his shame. “I killed my Fated Mate.”
Chapter 6
SILENCE HAD BECOME EMILY’S best friend. She was still seated in the Alpha’s mansion, sitting on that same plush couch. Nick was asking her all kinds of questions, and doing some of them pretty sneakily. She didn’t owe him anything, so she stopped answering. She tried to give honest and open responses at the beginning. She tried to be respectful since Moonwatch was his home and she did just waltz in announced.
Ethan was here. Owen Barr hadn’t led her into a trap, and she didn’t give out his name. There were some things she was only willing to discuss with Ethan. All of this stalling only made her believe it more; he was here. For whatever reason, God finally decided to send her a messenger in the shape of a scary and scarred shifter. If it all led to Ethan, she didn’t care.
But why were the wolves being so protective of him? There was more going on here than she knew.
“Sorry about the interrogation,” Gwen said with a forced smile as she nudged her mate with her elbow. “The town is small and Nick is overprotective.”
Emily held a straight face and folded her arms. She didn’t want to show her irritation, but there was no way she was going to act immediately forgiving. The tension in the air was so thick, she could have cut it with a knife. If she felt it this strongly, she wondered how much stronger the wolves felt it.
She flinched when a door slammed open. Then Willow appeared, tracking snow behind her.
“Will,” Nick chastised. “Wipe off your fucking boots first.”
Willow said nothing in reply. She marched on up to him and pressed her lips to his ear and then concealed her mouth and her words with her hand. Nick stared at Emily during the secretive exchange. His eyes were an intense yellow. There was no hiding the wolf. Emily squinted, trying to read into any expressions, but it was no use. Nick’s face was a blank stone wall, and she couldn’t hear a thing.
Her heart started beating faster again in anticipation. There was a warmth over her heart, almost like someone was reassuring her that Ethan was here, that she’d see him soon.
When Willow moved away, Nick announced, “You’re welcome to stay in Moonwatch for a while if you want. We have a couple motels with a few rooms open.”
“Why are you tiptoeing around me?” Emily demanded. “Ethan’s here, isn’t he? Where is he? Just let me see him. Is it because I’m human? If you doubt me, all you have to do is ask Ethan. He’ll vouch for me.”
Gwen frowned, but Nick kept his poker face. Then he said something that filled her with relief. “I’ll talk to Ethan. You have to stay here in the Alpha Den while I do. Gwen and Willow will stay with you.”
“I’ll come too,” she tried to protest as she stood abruptly.
Nick stood too, reminding Emily of his intimidating height and build. His eyes turned even more yellow, and he growled. “I’m not asking. I’ve talked to you long enough to know you’re sincere. I know you care for Ethan, but that, unfortunately, isn’t enough in this case. I need to talk to him, and you will wait here.”
Emily reluctantly sat back down on the couch. Willow sat on the same couch as Gwen. Neither of them said anything, but they stared. Emily huffed, feeling frustrated as Nick left.
She looked past the she-wolves and out the window giving her a limited view of Moonwatch. Ethan was so close and still so far away from her. But he was here. Nick admitted it. She only had to be patient a little while longer. She had to believe Nick would tell Ethan her name and that he’d come for her. He would. He had to.
How did he end up here?
Rogue blinked his eyes a few times at the bright electrical light overhead. He was in Cedric’s home, lying on a couch in the front room. And he was being babied by a baby.
“Don’t take this off,” Opal said sternly as she placed a damp, cool cloth on his forehead. “It’s for your fever.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Rogue replied. The little snowy owl shifter was going to be a tough one when she got older. She was already bossy as hell. She knew what she wanted and didn’t take no for an answer. If you were under her care, you best listen. It wasn’t that Rogue minded, but it was a bit humorous being a grown-ass man and getting told off by a five-year-old.
Rogue closed his eyes because it was easier on his head, then he asked, “So why am I here?”
Cedric replied, “Because you’re not allowed to be alone right now.”
Rogue opened his eyes again when someone touched his cheek. It was Stella. She held back her brown and gold streaked hair with her other hand so it wouldn’t fall onto his face as she hovered over him. Rogue wanted to close his eyes again, but that made him feel vulnerable, so he averted her gaze instead. Her lilac eyes were too soft.
“You don’t feel hot anymore,” she informed. “You don’t have to leave that cloth on your forehead if you don’t want to.”
“No!” Opal protested. She shook her head and her silver tresses danced around her as they reflected the light. Her hair was mesmerizing. The little thing would be stunning when she grew up. Rogue had no doubt about that. She was already too cute to be legal.
“I’ll leave it on,” Rogue said quickly. He didn’t have the heart to break Opal’s heart—plus it felt good on his skin even though he wasn’t a shifter furnace anymore.
“What happened to you? How could this happen to you?” Russel asked warily. He was Stella’s son, ten years old, no blood relation to Cedric. He looked a lot like his mother. He was someone Rogue would describe as timid, but not in a bad way. He just needed to warm up to people before he got comfortable. Kid was smart too.
“Not now, Russ,” Stella said softly. “Maybe Rogue will tell you later when he feels up to it.”
Fat chance of that. Rogue wanted it all to go away. Like, fuck. Emily was actually here? She had been trying to track him down this whole time and finally managed to? He couldn’t even wrap his brain around it. He couldn’t see her. But she was here…
“We owe you a lot,” Stella said, bringing Rogue out of his thoughts. “We’ll do whatever we can to help.”
Cedric nodded his approval.
“You don’t owe me anything,” Rogue replied.
Cedric insisted, “We do. Besides, what are friends for? They do things for each other and pay each other back over and over again.”
“What a riot.” Rogue laughed, but he didn’t feel like laughing. Cedric shouldn’t have said things like that to him. It made him want things he couldn’t have. No, not sex. He was so over that with the snowy owl, but, God, did having friends sound nice. Real friends. Until now, Rogue was sure Bruiser was the only one he associated with who liked him at least a little. It was hard to tell because the grizzly was so not in tune with his emotions. That also made it easier for Rogue to detach from everyone and everything. He did what he was told. He lost himself in the assignments Trinity gave him. He couldn’t have friends. If he didn’t deserve Emily, he didn’t deserve friends.
He was probably thinking too much about it anyway. Cedric and fa
mily just felt indebted to him for saving Cedric and Russel’s lives. That was all this was.
He needed to leave. This wasn’t making him feel any better.
“Is that Nick?” Stella said aloud as she looked out the window. She went and opened the front door before Nick had to knock.
“Shit,” Rogue said under his breath. He didn’t want to deal with the Blue Pack Alpha.
He forced himself to look at the Alpha as he entered the home. Nick’s eyes hardened when they met Rogue’s. Not a good sign.
“You have some explaining to do,” the wolf said.
Rogue hunkered down into the couch as if that would hide him. “There’s not much to explain beyond what I’m sure Willow already told you. I can’t see Emily. It might kill me. End of story.” He glanced out the window at the winter wonderland that was Moonwatch.
Nick walked over to him, so he was in his line of sight, and held up the Lunas Sigil on his palm, the one mirroring Rogue’s. “Would this promise, this contract, you made with me and Gwen counteract any possibilities of death if you saw Emily? You said you’d teach us how to use Lunas, and you haven’t yet.”
Rogue laughed, like, really laughed. Blue Pack was fucking nuts. All of them. God, why did Bruiser send him here? The big oaf was such a pain in the ass.
“I’m being serious, Ethan.”
Rogue flinched at the use of his name, a name he left behind years ago.
“This woman is important to you. I can tell. I know you’re important to her. So what are you going to do about it? Do you want to see her?”
Everyone was silent, watching and waiting for Rogue’s response. He wasn’t kidding when he said seeing Emily again might kill him. His face was burning again. He was sure that Lunas Sigil on his cheek was fading in and out. He was feeling better until Nick brought this up again. He was feeling better when he resolved once again not to see Emily, but now he was considering it. He was thinking about seeing her, and the burning was back in full force. It could kill him. It really could, but did he care? He had a chance to see Emily again, and he had never wanted anything more than he wanted that right now.
“I want to see her,” Rogue whispered. Then he raised his voice. “Even if it kills me. Besides,” he held his hand up to the ceiling as if to hold the electric light in his palm, “I’d get to see Mason again.” Then he admitted the one thing he had never admitted since Bruiser and Trinity, since putting everything he was into his job. “I’m just so goddamn tired.”
Now that he admitted it, there was no taking it back. He was only twenty-three years old, but age and experience didn’t amount to the same thing. He suspected Bruiser knew all this time, but that was just because he was Bruiser. Rogue had spent years trying to redeem himself, doing work for Trinity, but Emily was here. It was a bad thing. It meant she had been tracking him for a long time. It should have been damn well near impossible for her to find him. She had been wasting her life trying to find him, and that was worse than confronting her. Much worse. He wanted her to move on and live her life. He would see Emily, tell her to move on with her life, and everything would be set straight. Surely Mason could agree with that. The burning in his cheek cooled in response.
“She’s been looking for you for years,” Nick informed, confirming Rogue’s fears. “Since Mason died.”
It seemed Nick got quite a bit of information out of Emily.
“She needs to see you. She’s about to fall apart.”
Rogue’s heart cracked. “Mason will let me talk to her just to set her straight.”
He touched his left cheek. His skin was cool to the touch. Lunas was complicated. Contracts, promises, sealed by Lunas were first and foremost crafted by one’s underlying feelings and intentions. The words, if any, used in forming a contract helped direct those intentions so a contract could be made safer. Mason told him never to see Emily again, but it was mostly an order to protect her. If the best way to protect her now was to set her straight, to see her, the contract would allow it.
Rogue sat up and pressed his hand over his heart. He felt a warmth there he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was almost like the Lunas Sigil Mason had put there, when he vowed he loved Rogue—no, loved Ethan—was alive again. Since Mason had died, Rogue had been convinced that Mason’s love had died too. This was the first time in five years he felt like Mason was there, that he still loved him. And it made him emotional, but he didn’t let it show.
He stood up and everyone gaped at him. “What?”
“The mark on your cheek is gone,” Opal said matter-of-factly.
Rogue sighed and turned to Nick. “I’m ready to see Emily.”
Chapter 7
THE THREE OF THEM didn’t exchange a single word. Emily was grateful Gwen and Willow left her to her silence. She had more than her fill of words before with Nick’s interrogation. Her stomach was tying itself into knots and those knots were coiling tighter and tighter. She was digging her fingers into the couch cushion, grounding herself there despite her urge to jump up and run for it. She was growing very impatient. She was certain she would have found Ethan by now if she had been left to her own devices. The town was small.
Ethan, have you missed me as much as I have missed you? You left me because you had to, right?
She got a terrible sinking feeling. What if this wasn’t the reunion she wanted or expected? What if Ethan had decided for himself that he wanted nothing to do with her? What if the spark they had between them was all made up in her own heart and head? Or what if it had faded for him? Those doubts made her sick to her stomach.
Her heart jumped when she heard movement in the grand foyer. Was Nick back? Was Ethan with him? She couldn’t stop herself from jumping out of her seat. She didn’t go anywhere since Gwen and Willow were watching her, but she tried to crane her neck so she could see into the grand foyer.
Okay, fuck it. Trying to peek into the other room was not good enough. She ran for the grand foyer and ran right into a man rounding the corner. He was hard as a rock, wearing holey clothes that should have been thrown out. She was the only one to lose her balance and stumbled backward upon impact. But he grabbed her wrist to stabilize her. Then she saw his face. His beautiful, gorgeous face. Emily was dumbstruck.
He had the same face she remembered, though it was harder, more mature. He looked tired. Any trace of him being a teenager was gone. He was a grown man, and damn he was big. She did not remember him having this much muscle. Then again, the last time she saw him, he was eighteen. It made sense. Boys tended to do weird things like that, but she had changed since then too. Her hips were wider, he breasts fuller, her body stronger. It was a culmination of age and the life both of them had led up to this point.
For a moment, the two of them just stared. Emily was trapped in the dark brown of Ethan’s eyes. She caught a glimpse of underlying gold, the big cat inside of him. It was really and truly him. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Nothing else existed. This moment was for them and them alone.
“Ethan,” Emily said, her voice shaking. “Ethan!”
She closed the small space between them and wrapped her arms around his back, bringing him as close to her as she could manage. Tears were in her eyes as she buried her face into his chest. He was wearing a holey black hoodie a lot like what he always used to wear. It was comforting because that meant he couldn’t have changed too much in these five years.
Ethan returned her hug fiercely. He held her so tightly it almost hurt, but then he let up and leaned down to bury his face into the side of her neck. His lips were on her skin, and it felt so good. Her eyes fluttered closed and she moved her hands to the back of his neck and touched his slicked-back brown hair, encouraging this closeness between them. It felt like nothing had changed. This was the same feeling she remembered but better because it was real, not just a memory.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” she whispered.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I need answers. Because Mason was mu
rdered and you disappeared the same night. I’ve been so worried about you. It didn’t make any sense. I thought you must be in trouble. I couldn’t save Mason, so I sure as hell was going to do everything in my power to save you. I didn’t know if you were dead or alive. Five Claws was swept under the rug the same night as Mason’s murder. It was all too weird to be nothing more than a coincidence. I know Five Claws must have had something to do with Mason’s death, and I was afraid they were after you next, or maybe your secret got out. If people knew you were a shifter, you’d have to leave, right? I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect both of you.” She sniffled and tried to hold back the tears threatening to overflow.
“I’m okay,” Ethan assured. He pressed his lips to her neck a little harder and squeezed her arms with his hands. “I’ll tell you what happened that night, but then you have to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
He moved his lips from her neck and stood up tall. He looked her in the eye and said, “You have to promise to move on with your life.”
Emily tried to read between the lines. She studied Ethan’s face. He looked serious. “Okay,” she agreed. Moving on was all she had wanted after all. Now that she found Ethan, she could. She was by his side, where she was supposed to be, and she could move on.
“It’s a deal then,” Ethan announced.
He moved his hands to her waist and gave a little squeeze. She felt an odd pinch on her right side. It was quickly followed by a rush of heat, of undeniable energy. She let out a little gasp because it kind of hurt. Ethan eased his hands down to her hips.
“What did you do?” she asked, confused.
Ethan said nothing. He simply looked at her. There was a softness in his eyes she knew well, but there was coldness too, a disconnect.
Emily escaped his gaze and lifted the fabric of her hoodie and shirt underneath to inspect the skin on her waist where she felt the pinch. There was a mark, the same mark she saw on Nick and Gwen’s hands. It was strange how it blended into her dark skin, but it was a different texture so it caught the light like a metallic surface.
