“I don’t know,” I whisper.
And either that is answer enough, or Leandros sees the truth of it on his own, because he bows low, gentlemanly.
“Excuse me,” he says.
And he’s gone.
I wrap my arms around myself, saddened by the exchange.
But as I turn back toward my room, thinking to lie down for a bit in misery, I see the barest wisp of a shadow disappearing through the wall housing Kallias’s rooms. It’s so slight, I think perhaps I might have imagined it.
But if not, I can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing for Kallias to have heard all of that.
CHAPTER
23
I debate whether to show up for dinner in the library.
On the one hand, I haven’t spoken with Kallias all day. There is much we should discuss, including his safety measures and what happened at the club.
But then I know he will ask me why I’ve opted to avoid him all day. And gods forbid he overheard my conversation with Leandros and brings it up.
In the end, I decide I want to see him, and that is enough to put up with all the rest.
I expect to find him at the table, already starting on his supper. Instead, he’s seated at an armchair before the fire, stroking Demodocus on the top of the head with one hand and sipping wine from a cup held in the other.
Upon hearing my entrance, he says, “I can’t decide if those who wish me dead are unable to get through my new guards stationed around the clock, or if they’re simply biding their time, waiting for me to grow comfortable before striking.”
“The former, I hope,” I say, taking the other armchair pointed toward the low fire.
“It’s not so bad being followed around everywhere I go. Honestly, it’s preferable to the isolation I’ve resigned myself to.”
I say nothing. I think perhaps he might need me to listen.
“In other news, I’ve sentenced Lord Eliades to life in prison. He’s been stripped of all his lands and his title. He won’t trouble us anymore. We’ve also located most of the gold coins he took and redistributed. All the peasants caught with them have also been imprisoned. They knew very well they were being given stolen goods.”
“You don’t seem terribly happy about all of this.”
He stares at the flames and downs the rest of his cup. “The roundup did not go well. Several peasants died in the process. They resisted the guards. And many of the merchants did not want to give up the coin they’d already received in exchange for their goods.”
I settle deeper into my chair. “And you blame me.”
His hand stills from where it is reaching for a decanter beside him to refill his glass. “Why would I blame you?”
“Because it was my idea to catch the bandit in this manner.”
“That’s not at all what I’m trying to say. My guards did a poor job of handling the matter. It is they who are to blame, not the plan. Besides, I couldn’t care less about a little public unrest.”
“Then what is the problem?” I ask.
“The council wishes to do something about the stir we’ve caused. They’re considering a royal parade through the streets of Naxos.”
I blink. “You can’t do that. That’s the perfect opportunity for our contact to assassinate you.”
He starts on another glass of wine. “I know, but I’m afraid the council has voted against me. I have no choice.”
My skin glows with the reflection of the flames, and I feel my body grow hot all over. And not in a good way. “One of them is in on it! They have to be. Why else would they make you do this?”
“It would generate some goodwill. Remind the people that I’m not a monster putting all his focus on foreign kingdoms. It humanizes me, apparently. Makes them more likely to pay their taxes or some nonsense.”
He finishes refilling his drink yet again. “Oh, and the Kingdom of Pegai is officially at peace once more.”
I finally turn in his direction. “I’m having a hard time reading you. Are you upset? Worried? Pleased?” Terrified? I don’t say aloud.
“I’m remarkably calm for someone who knows there will be another attempt on his life soon.”
“An attempt, perhaps, but nothing more. Your would-be killer will not succeed. They will be caught.”
He swallows the rest of his cup and finally sets the empty glass aside, letting his head fall back against the armchair as he does so. “Well, now that all the pleasant conversation is done with, shall we move on to whatever the reason is for you avoiding me all day?”
“That was the pleasant conversation?”
He stops petting Demodocus, and the dog slumps down to the floor, out as soon as his head falls atop his paws.
“What bothers you, Alessandra?”
“I don’t think you’ve had enough to drink for us to have this conversation.”
“Meaning?”
“I’d rather you not remember it.”
A small smile grazes his lips. “I could drink some more if you’d like.”
“No, you should be alert at all times. In case anything happens.”
He shakes his head once. “Quit stalling. The fact is that … you were—um—not treated well last night.” As if the words bother him, he reaches for his glass once more and refills it.
“I wasn’t?” I ask.
“You were treated and touched like a whore, and it must have been disgraceful and humiliating. I don’t blame you in the least for hating me for it.”
“Oh.” I try to mask my surprise at his words.
“You are a true friend, Alessandra. Someone I consider my equal in all things, save title. I did not treat you as such last night.”
“Kallias, you let me help you last night. You treated me as you would a friend. Nothing less. Don’t think any more on it.”
He stands suddenly, and his legs are a bit wobbly, as he steadies himself against the nearby table. “Perhaps I drank more than I thought.”
“Let me help you up to bed.”
I take Kallias’s arm, and though I’ve never done so where anyone can see before (save when we were in disguise), I keep a firm grip on him as we exit the library. I order the guards to escort us up to the king’s rooms, but no one else dares to lay a hand on the king. I couldn’t ask them for help if I wanted to. They wouldn’t risk their lives. I’ll leave Kallias to do the pardoning for our touching later.
Demodocus trails behind us, ever the faithful pup.
We pass by a series of windows in the hallway, and the sound of thunder and pelting rain reaches us. Quite a storm is gracing us this evening.
The guards leave us be at the end of the hallway, and Demodocus and I continue on. I try Kallias’s door first, but since it’s locked, and I’m not about to go through his pockets for a key that he likely doesn’t have on him when he can walk right through walls, I let him into my room instead.
I think to help him into my own bed, but he says, “No, through there.”
I try the door connecting our two rooms. It’s unlocked.
“Why wouldn’t you lock this?” I ask.
“Why would I when it’s you on the other side?”
I help angle his fall onto the bed, then lift up both of his feet. I even take off his boots one at a time.
“Kallias, I’m not mad at you,” I reassure him, continuing the conversation from before. “I don’t care about yesterday. It was quite fun playacting, actually.”
Demodocus hops onto the bed next to him, placing his head atop the king’s stomach. Kallias lolls his neck over in my direction. “Even if you’re not mad about that, you should be mad at me for other reasons.”
“What reasons?”
His eyes close. “I saw you with Leandros. He offered you happiness, and you refused him. Because I’m forcing you to go through this ruse of courting me. I should release you from it.”
I smile. “But you won’t.”
“I can’t. I need you too much.”
Perhaps it’s just
the drink, but I would very much like to think he didn’t just mean as a ruse.
His eyes shoot back open then, and his arm swings about before it catches my gloved hand and brings it toward his mouth but stops before he makes contact. He looks down at my glove as though it offends him. Then he’s sliding the garment off. I hold perfectly still.
“He kissed you. Here.” A leather-clad finger trails along my skin.
“Yes, he did.”
“I don’t want him doing that. I want to do that.”
He lowers his lips, but I jerk back my hand violently before he can make contact. “You’re not allowed to do that until you’re sober,” I tell him.
“Nonsense. Give that back!”
I laugh at him. “Go to sleep, Your Majesty.” I push against his shoulder, and he falls back onto his pillows, his eyes shutting once more. The fight has left him.
I step toward my room, taking one last look at my king. “I didn’t tell Leandros no because of some deal I have with you. I told him no because it would take me away from you.”
Satisfied that he’s too fast asleep to remember any of it, I shut the door on him and make ready for bed.
* * *
KALLIAS LETS HIMSELF THROUGH the wall into my room the next morning for breakfast. “Well, that answers that question.”
He has one hand pressed against his head, and he’s still in his clothes from last night.
“What question?”
“I can still call my shadows around you.”
“Was there any doubt you would be able to?” I ask, trying to ignore the way the thin material of his shirt outlines all the muscled parts of him.
“I don’t remember much. You helped me to my room. I thought perhaps I might have thrown myself at you.”
I hide my smile behind a teacup. “You did. I had to fend you off.”
“Typical. I haven’t been drunk since I was made king. Naturally I throw myself at the first female in sight.”
“Naturally.”
“Was it bad? What did I say?”
“You tried to kiss my ungloved hand. You’re so polite, Kallias, even as a drunk.” Then I laugh at him.
“My mother raised me to be proper,” he says, unapologetic.
“She would be proud of you.”
Kallias lets a sad smile grace his lips. Then he looks down at himself. “We should get dressed and join the other nobles for breakfast.”
“Why? We never attend breakfast with the nobles.”
“I have something to show you, and I’m too impatient to wait until the lunch hour. I had it commissioned some time ago, and I’ve just received word that it’s done.”
“And it’s … in the great hall?” What did he do? Commission a tablecloth with our initials?
“Yes. No more questions. You’ll understand. I’ll be back in half an hour to collect you.”
Then he disappears back through the wall.
“You clearly have no idea how long it takes a lady to get ready!” I shout after him.
* * *
THE GUARDS FOLLOW US at a not-so-discreet distance, but I don’t mind. Not when they are keeping Kallias safe.
He takes my arm this morning, not caring who looks on. Perhaps with a killer on the loose, it doesn’t matter to him who sees us touching through our clothes.
Kallias somehow found the time to bathe and dress this morning. His hair looks slightly damp, but it still manages to maintain impressive volume. I wonder if he doesn’t keep his hair out of his face because he knows just how delicious his facial features are. His nose is so straight and perfect, I want to run the tip of a finger down its slope before tracing his full lips.
Even his ears—decidedly unattractive body parts—manage to look pristine. And I can’t help but imagine what sound he would make if I tugged down on his lobe with my teeth.
“You seem distracted this morning,” Kallias says. “Did something happen I’m not aware of?”
“No.” I turn my face away from him as I feel heat rush to my cheeks. Am I blushing? I haven’t blushed at being caught staring at a man in—
“Here we are.”
The doors to the great hall are open already, the sound of the nobles’ chatter wafting out to us.
Kallias doesn’t pause as we enter, though the nobles instantly quiet, perhaps at the way we’re walking arm in arm, when no one else is permitted to touch the king without suffering death.
I scan the faces and the seating arrangements, trying to figure out what the surprise is. He didn’t redo the walls or the rugs. The table appears the same, except—Is it my imagination or is it a bit bigger?
The king and I traipse past openmouthed nobles on our way to our usual seats, my mind whirring as I try to figure out what I’ve missed.
And that’s when I see our seats.
I freeze in place, bringing Kallias to a jerking stop beside me.
The table is bigger. He commissioned a new one. And at the head of the table, where Kallias always sits, there are two chairs.
Two.
The table is twice as wide, allowing for us to sit side by side at the head of the massive oak piece.
This isn’t just some polite gesture. This is a statement. One all of the nobility can see and understand.
But I don’t understand.
“Why?” I ask.
Kallias looks around at the quieted nobles and coughs meaningfully. They instantly resume their morning chatter. So we can’t be overheard.
“I told you, you’re my equal. You’ve assisted me in more ways than one. You’ve been my constant companion these last couple of months, and I don’t ever want you to leave, Alessandra. I want to show you how I respect and appreciate you.”
“But this—in front of all the nobles. You might as well have proposed.”
“Actually, I want to talk about that later.”
My head snaps in his direction so fast my neck cracks.
“When we’re alone,” he clarifies. “Come.” He gently tugs me toward our seats.
I somehow manage to make my feet move, despite the way my head is spinning. First elation, then disappointment, take turns occupying my thoughts.
He’s going to propose.
But he said it so offhandedly. It was hardly romantic. I don’t think he means romantically. He means for a practical alliance, surely.
But he’s going to give me power. Share his power. Just like he’s sharing the head of the table.
But I still won’t be able to touch him. I won’t have him.
Which is more important?
I know the answer to that. Obviously the power. But then—why do I feel so miserable inside?
“Your Majesty, the new table is simply divine!” a voice says from my immediate right.
I startle. When did Rhoda sit down? To her right is Hestia, who is also seated next to her Lord Paulos. The two chairs closest to Kallias are left empty, but my side is full. Kallias is practically in full shadow form to supplement the new table arrangements.
“I’m glad you approve,” Kallias says.
“You seem surprised, Alessandra. Did you not know?” Rhoda asks.
“I didn’t.”
“It’s a terribly romantic gesture,” she says, only slightly lowering her voice.
Kallias heard her. “I’m glad you think so, Lady Nikolaides. Lady Stathos doesn’t seem to know how to react just yet.”
“I’m pleased, of course!” I hurry to say. “It was only unexpected.”
“I make romantic gestures all the time,” he says in mock defense, putting on a show for those seated closest to us.
“He has a point,” Hestia says, pulling her attention away from Lord Paulos for a moment. “He showers you with gifts. We’ve all seen the gorgeous trinkets. This should be no different.”
“It’s a table,” I say. “Not a necklace. Very different. And very unexpected.”
Kallias brings a spoonful of porridge to his lips. “I have to continue to surprise you, else you’
d find me boring and be done with me.”
Rhoda laughs. “Not likely, Your Majesty.” She looks up and down what she can see of his profile before giving me a meaningful glance. Fifteen, her eyes say. As if I could ever forget.
Kallias grins at her politely, and the meal resumes.
As my eyes trail down the table, I spot Rhouben and Petros laughing about something together. They look so carefree and happy, but I can’t help but note that one noble is missing from the new table, as though its very existence has prevented him from joining us.
Poor Leandros.
* * *
“DON’T YOU HAVE MEETINGS TODAY?” I ask once we finish breakfast and Kallias escorts me from the room.
“No. I’ve cleared my schedule. Your ball is coming up quickly. I thought I could help with the rest of the preparations. And as I mentioned, there’s something we need to talk about.”
I clear my throat. “Yes, I’m … curious to hear more about this topic we’re going to discuss.”
Well, that sounded overtly formal.
The man wants to propose for devils’ sake, and I find myself wanting to run far away.
But this is what I wanted. It’s the whole reason I came here.
So why am I dreading this conversation?
“Shall we go to the library?” he asks.
I don’t say anything, but he leads me in that direction all the same, his guards following.
“It’s a beautiful day,” Kallias comments, as he glances out a window we pass by. “Storm passed quickly.” Then he curses. “Why am I talking about the damned weather?”
Still I say nothing. The guards leave us to enter the library alone, and Kallias closes the door behind us.
“Do you want to sit?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I was stupid. I didn’t mean to bring it up like that.”
“Proposing, you mean?”
“Yes. I shouldn’t have surprised you with the table, either. I should have talked with you before I had it made. I just thought you would like it.”
I stare down at my boots. “But it’s not just a table, is it, Kallias?”
“No. No, it’s not.”
It’s silent for a moment, and I lift my gaze to study the spines of the books around the room. Anything to avoid looking at him and his perfect features. For this conversation, I don’t think I can bear to look at him.
The Shadows Between Us Page 23
