“Goodbye, Hallie.”
“Goodbye, Steve.”
While she still had the courage, she deliberately turned her back to him and locked the front door. Then she dropped a kiss on each child’s head and raced past Steve to her car.
The dress Donnalee had chosen for Hallie to wear as maid of honor was one of the most beautiful she’d ever owned. It was simple and elegant, a pale rose that did wonders for her skin. She felt beautiful in it. And thin. Every time she studied her reflection, all she could think of was Steve’s reaction when he saw her. But then, thinking about Steve had become something of a pastime. No, an obsession. Every night she went to bed thinking about him; every morning she woke up to those same thoughts of him.
“He’ll go out of his mind,” Donnalee whispered.
It took Hallie a moment to realize her best friend was talking about Todd when he saw his wife-to-be in her wedding dress.
“Yes, he will,” Hallie confirmed.
The wedding itself was going to be a brief simple ceremony, with only Steve and Hallie as attendants. The guests were family and a few select friends. Not so for the reception; Donnalee and Todd had built strong friendships through the years and wanted to invite as many of their friends as possible to share in their joy. There would be dinner, dancing, drinks.
Hallie hadn’t seen Steve in two weeks. Fourteen days. That didn’t seem so long, but it felt like fourteen years. She’d eagerly looked forward to the wedding… and yet she’d dreaded it more each day.
She longed to see him, yet was afraid to see him.
She was afraid of reviving, strengthening, her love for Steve, afraid of suffering the loneliness, the sense of loss all over again. She wasn’t sure she could go through it a second time.
Her gaze automatically sought him out as the four of them crowded around Pastor Channing in the small chapel. Steve’s eyes met hers, and with effort she managed to offer him a smile. One that wasn’t returned. She quickly looked away.
The ceremony, short though it was, moved Hallie to tears. Donnalee and Todd gazed at each other, wrapped up in their love. For Hallie, their happiness was almost painful to see, and yet she was thrilled for her friends.
Steve stood there stiffly throughout the ceremony. Other than those first few moments, he completely ignored her. When they all signed the wedding certificate, Hallie’s hand trembled. Steve showed no sign of emotion, his signature strong and bold.
Donnalee and Todd had hired a vintage 1928 Ford to drive them from the church to the reception at a nearby hotel.
Once they’d climbed into the car amid clapping and cheers, Meagan hurried to Hallie’s side. “Hallie, Hallie!” She clamped her arms around Hallie’s waist. “You look so pretty. Doesn’t she, Dad?” she called to Steve, who was standing a few feet away.
“Lovely,” he responded, and lowered his mask long enough to let his appreciation show in his eyes.
His brief admiring look greatly boosted Hallie’s sagging spirits.
“Dad’s new neighbors moved in and they don’t have kids.” This disgruntled remark came from Kenny. The boy wore an obviously new suit, complete with tie.
Hallie would wager it had taken a good deal of talking and bribing before Kenny agreed to the outfit.
“The new neighbors are okay,” Meagan said.
Hallie had met the young couple and thought they were extremely nice. “I’m sure they’ll have children soon enough.”
“What bothers the kids most is that the new neighbors aren’t you,” Steve explained with a shrug. “But that’s life. People come and people go. They’ll adjust, just like I have.” He seemed to be going out of his way to tell her he didn’t miss her, didn’t need her. That whatever he’d felt for her was gone.
“We all miss you, Hallie,” Meagan said, as if to counter her father’s cruel words. “It doesn’t seem right without you there.”
It didn’t feel right to her, either, but she certainly couldn’t say so.
The hotel where the reception was being held was filled with guests by the time they arrived. Applause broke out when Donnalee and Todd stepped inside the gaily decorated room. Hallie stood in the reception line between Donnalee and her parents. Todd stood next to Steve, and Steve next to Todd’s mother and father.
Hallie gave up counting the number of hands she shook and the number of names she heard. Remembering everyone was a lost cause, so she just smiled and shook hands.
The reception line was followed by dinner. Hallie and Steve were assigned to the head table with Donnalee and Todd. She found him staring at her once, and she smiled, hoping to lessen the tension between them. She wasn’t sure if it was the baked salmon or the champagne that went with it, but Steve finally began to relax. She did, too.
Once the staff had removed the dishes and the wedding cake was served, the music started. Donnalee and Todd danced the first dance, holding each other close. As was tradition, Steve escorted Hallie onto the floor next, but from the loose way he held her, she might as well have been his sister.
They’d never danced together before. What amazed her was how coordinated their movements were, almost as if they’d been partners for years. Almost as if her body sensed and followed his body’s movements.
When the music ended, she thought she heard Steve sigh with relief.
“Come on, Steve, it wasn’t so bad, was it?”
He stared at her blankly.
“Dancing with me,” she elaborated.
He reached for a fresh glass of champagne. “Bad enough.”
“I didn’t step on your toes, did I?”
“No,” he muttered, “just my heart.”
“What about my heart?” she asked, angered by his response.
“I must say it looks mighty fine in that dress you’re wearing. Let me guess who picked it out. Donnalee, right?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “The woman’s too smart for her own good.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means it’s time for me to shut up and sit down before I make an even bigger ass of myself.” He strode off the dance floor.
Hallie wasn’t about to let him stop now, so she ran after him. If he realized she was right behind him, he didn’t show it. Steve sat down at the table where Meagan and Kenny awaited him. A balding middle-aged man, Todd’s uncle by marriage if Hallie remembered correctly, caught her by the arm.
“How come a pretty little gal like you doesn’t have a dance partner?” He slid his arm securely about her waist and Hallie could see that Todd’s uncle had had a few drinks too many.
“I’m so sorry, Harry,” she said. “I’ve already promised this dance to my friend.”
“Your friend?”
Hallie winked at Kenny and held out her hand. “I believe you wanted this dance?”
Kenny leapt to his feet and, taking her hand, led Hallie toward the dance floor. The music was fast-paced and lighthearted. Kenny solemnly clenched her hands in his as they stepped onto the polished oak floor.
“Dad needs another bowling partner,” Kenny announced. “I told him he should ask you.”
“Really?” Hallie didn’t know how to respond.
“He said you wouldn’t be interested.”
“He did?”
“Are you?” Kenny pressed.
“I… I’m not sure.”
“Is it ’cause you have a new boyfriend?”
Hallie smiled and shook her head. “No.”
Kenny was silent for a couple of minutes. “Did you know Kip’s back?”
“Yes—Meagan told me.” Although Hallie wasn’t sure of the details.
“He’s divorced. Mom thought he might be a big-mist, but he’s not.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Hallie could appreciate the worry Mary Lynn had suffered while that mess got itself sorted out. It explained, too, what the big crisis had been when Steve disappeared overnight. Not for the first time, she felt guilty of overreaction that miserable Monday morning.
�
�I asked Dad if he was going to marry again. You wanna know what he said?”
“No.”
Kenny acted as if he hadn’t heard her. “He said that if he couldn’t marry you, there wasn’t anyone else he was interested in. He decided to join a men’s bowling league this year.”
Hallie wasn’t sure of the significance of the men’s bowling league, but she did understand the first part of what Kenny had told her. Her heart felt weak with excitement.
“Excuse me.” She heard Steve’s familiar voice behind her. “I’d like to cut in.”
“Sure, Dad.” Kenny beamed his father a huge smile and walked off the dance floor.
Thirty-Four
The Wedding Bouquet
Steve couldn’t figure out what had prompted him to ask Hallie to dance. One thing was sure: the minute she walked into his embrace he was sorry he’d asked her. Her body, all soft and feminine, gently gliding into his arms, was the purest form of torture he’d ever experienced.
Steve closed his eyes. This was heaven. No, it was hell. He didn’t want to feel the things he did for this woman, but had found himself incapable of not feeling them. Of forgetting. She haunted his dreams, and seemingly dissatisfied with that, she haunted every waking minute, as well.
As luck would have it, the music was slow and sultry. He noticed that neither of them felt compelled to speak. Steve suspected he couldn’t have gotten a word out, even if he’d known what to say. Hallie in his arms again was enough. It felt incredibly good—too damn good. He scowled. She was the one who’d slammed the door in his face. She was the one who’d put her house on the market and moved. Talk about cutting her losses! With little more than a backward glance, she’d cast him out of her life. Well, a man had his pride, and although it had been mighty cold comfort, he wasn’t crawling back to her. No, siree. Not him.
Nor was he interested in a woman who hightailed it out at the first sign of trouble. What irked him most was that their entire argument had centered on Mary Lynn. She’d called him in great relief a few days after her panic attack and told him Kip had gotten the divorce and had shown her the papers to prove it. While he was pleased Mary Lynn wasn’t involved with a bigamist, her news had come too late to help him. He’d already lost Hallie.
The music ended and they parted, and both of their own accord moved off the dance floor and in different directions, Steve to his table where the kids were waiting, and Hallie to another. Over the next couple of hours Steve noticed that Hallie danced with a number of other partners. He stopped counting how many after six. When he couldn’t stand to watch any longer, he turned his back to the dance floor. He had another glass of champagne, danced with Meagan and then with someone’s great-aunt.
“Aren’t you going to dance with Hallie again?” Kenny asked.
“No.” He downed the last of his champagne in one big gulp, then snared a fresh glass from a passing waiter. He drank enough to dull the ache in his heart and increase the one in his groin. That he’d never gone to bed with Hallie was a blessing in disguise. He wanted her even now. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, lie to himself about that. But he feared that if they had made love, he’d never have found the strength to let her walk out of his life.
“Did you ask her to be your bowling partner?” Meagan demanded.
Steve shook his head. He could tell he was a big disappointment to his children. They loved Hallie. Well, they weren’t alone, but a man had his limits.
“Hallie’s not dating anyone,” Kenny told him. “I asked her.”
“Let’s talk about something else, all right?”
“Mom’s remarried,” Meagan reminded him, tugging at his sleeve.
His daughter’s assessment caught him off guard. He didn’t need anyone to remind him that Mary Lynn was out of his life. It was Hallie he wanted, Hallie he longed for. Hallie who owned his heart.
Without questioning the right or wrong of it, he set the champagne glass aside and strolled across the room to where she was standing. The music had started again. Another slow ballad.
Wordlessly he offered her his hand. She hesitated before giving him hers. Then he led the way to the dance floor.
“We already danced,” she whispered, sounding nervous. “Twice.”
“I know. The first two times were for appearance’s sake. This time it’s for me.” He brought her close, close enough to feel her breasts against his chest. Close enough to tell her without words the powerful effect she had on him.
She held herself stiff and unyielding. “For you? I don’t understand.”
“You seem to forget I was denied the pleasure of making love to you.”
Her chin shot up to a lofty angle. “Not for lack of opportunity.”
“I’ll admit the fault was my own.”
This seemed to appease her. “It seems this may well be my last chance,” he said.
“You’re not making any sense. Maybe we should stop now.”
“Not on your life.” He moistened the side of her neck with the tip of his tongue and was gratified to feel reaction ripple through her.
“Steve… I don’t think this is a good idea.” Her protest was weak. He saw she’d closed her eyes and seemed to have trouble holding up her head.
While his options were limited, especially with his children looking on, Steve didn’t let the mere fact that two hundred people were watching stand in his way. His imagination would work just fine. With his mouth close to her ear, he told her in scintillating detail how he’d planned to love her. How he’d dreamed of it every night since, thought of little else but having her in his bed—and in his life.
While their bodies swayed gently to the music, he held her mesmerized with a whispered account of how he’d intended to satiate their need for each other. Sparing nothing, he told her all they’d missed, all that their pride had cost them.
He didn’t know that his words were having the desired effect until he heard her soft gasp against his throat.
The music ended, but they didn’t leave the dance floor. Didn’t move out of each other’s embrace. His arms tightened as he realized that if he lost Hallie this time, he’d forever regret it.
He’d assumed, he’d hoped, that the music would start again. It didn’t. Instead, there was an announcement that Donnalee was about to throw the bridal bouquet.
Hallie eased herself out of Steve’s arms, keeping her gaze lowered.
Steve glanced over his shoulder to discover that a group of eager young women had gathered around Donnalee, jockeying for position.
Donnalee stood on tiptoe. “Hallie, where are you?”
“I… have to go.”
“So I see,” he muttered, more than a little disgruntled.
She moved away from him, joining the entourage crowding the bride. Hallie made her way to the back and raised her arms. Once she saw her best friend, Donnalee turned and blithely tossed the bouquet over her shoulder.
It seemed to Steve that she aimed for Hallie, but it wasn’t Hallie who captured the prize. A girl, hardly older than Meagan, leapt a good three feet off the ground and grabbed the bouquet in midair. Grumbles and murmurs followed as the teenager displayed the prize, waving it exuberantly over her head. Steve smiled at her display of joy, but when he went to look for Hallie again, he discovered she was gone.
Gone.
The best Steve could figure, she’d disappeared with Donnalee, who had changed out of her wedding dress and into a pretty pink suit before leaving with Todd for the airport.
She’d be back, he reassured himself. He could be patient; considering how long he’d waited already, a few extra minutes wouldn’t hurt.
Hallie never did return to the reception.
Defeated, Steve sat with Meagan and Kenny. It was for the best, he tried to convince himself. It was over.
That was the way she wanted it. From this point on, there’d be no need to see each other again.
Steve didn’t believe any of it.
As soon as he could leave without seeming impo
lite, Steve took his kids home. They both seemed tired and out of sorts, and his own mood wasn’t much better. But despite his misgivings about being with Hallie again, he’d enjoyed the wedding. He’d certainly enjoyed dancing with her.
Today had brought back all the memories and all the hopes, the recollections of what could have been. Todd’s happiness pleased him and at the same time made him conscious of his own loneliness. It also emboldened him. Maybe it wasn’t too late for him and Hallie… .
“I’m going to bed,” Kenny said as soon as they got home. He’d already removed the suit coat and was working on the tie.
“I am, too,” Meagan chimed, yanking off her party shoes.
“I’m going out,” Steve announced.
Meagan and Kenny stopped what they were doing and stared.
“Where are you going?”
The decision made, Steve didn’t hesitate. “To talk to Hallie.”
Kenny inserted two fingers in his mouth and let out a whistle loud enough to shatter crystal. Then he and Meagan exchanged high tens, slapping hands with their arms raised above their heads.
“Go for it, Dad.”
“Yeah!” Kenny had finally managed to pull off his tie, and now he twirled it around like a New Year’s streamer. “We want you to marry her.”
“A lot has to be decided before we talk about marriage.” Unsure how this meeting would go, Steve didn’t want to build up his children’s expectations.
“I knew she was the one for you ages ago,” Meagan said, sounding very much like the teenager she was soon to become. It wouldn’t be long now before she was convinced she was far wiser than any of the adults in her life.
“I said so first,” Kenny argued.
“No, I did,” Meagan returned with an air of superiority. “I told you I thought Hallie would be a good wife for Dad the very first time we met her. Remember?”
Whether or not he did, Kenny wasn’t about to admit it.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be,” Steve said.
“Take your time,” Meagan told him.
“All the time you need,” his son added.
This Matter of Marriage Page 29
