In this very strange bedroom…
My brow furrowed as I eyed the charcoaled furniture and black sheets. Not my usual style, but being immune to fire was certainly a plus. I brushed my fingertips across the quilt, finding it surprisingly soft. What is this made of? I marveled. It reminded me of silk.
I went through the drawers and then the closet. The uniform consisted of a plaid skirt and a sweater, just as Exos had described. But the pinks and purples were beautiful and unlike anything I’d ever seen. I plucked it off the hanger to hold it up to myself in the mirror, enjoying the way it popped against my skin and hair.
“The Fire Fae have special outfits that are flame-retardant for, well, obvious reasons.” Exos stood just inside the walk-in closet, a mug in his hand, his shoulder braced against the door frame.
I’d not heard him approach, too lost in the mirror against the wall. “I, uh, okay.” My cheeks pinkened to match the fabric in my reflection. “I was just seeing if it would fit.”
He grinned. “It’ll fit.” He held out the mug. “I made you some hot chocolate, if you want it. The sandwiches are baking.”
Baking? I pushed that thought away in favor of the item in his hand. “Hot chocolate?” My heart skipped a beat. “I… I would love some hot chocolate.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d indulged in a hot chocolate. My grandmother used to make it for me as a child.
After hanging up the uniform, I accepted the warm gift and let the heat seep into my cool fingertips. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and took a step backward into the bedroom. “Is this okay? The accommodations, I mean.”
“Yeah, it’s, well, different. But it’s fine.”
“Okay, good.”
I followed him and sat on the bed with my back braced against the headboard, my dress flaring over my legs. My shoes were in the closet already, leaving my feet bare. I blew across the mug before allowing myself a sip and groaned at the flavors bursting on my tongue. This wasn’t like any hot chocolate I’d ever tasted, the whipped goodness decadent and empowering.
He smirked and sat beside me on the bed, crossing his feet at the ankles to reveal a pair of dress socks that matched his elegant attire.
“Do you always wear suits?” I asked, trying for simple conversation.
He shrugged. “Depends on the situation.”
“Yeah?” I eyed him sideways. “And when does the situation require you to wear that hideous royal garb you forced on Titus?”
Exos chuckled, shaking his head. “I can’t believe he actually put that shit on. I had a pair of jeans and a shirt waiting for him in the other room.”
“He was in a hurry after you told us to head downstairs.”
“Not that much of a hurry,” he said, laughing again. “It’s a formal outfit that hasn’t been worn in probably two or three hundred years. He’s probably going to destroy it, which might disappoint Cyrus.” He shrugged. “Was totally worth seeing Titus in it, though.”
“You’re mean,” I accused, smiling. Who knew this man had a sense of humor?
He gave me a look. “You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy seeing him in that atrocious outfit?”
I hid my amusement behind my mug. “Maybe a little.”
“Uh-huh.” He nudged me with his shoulder and reached over to press his palm against my mug. Heat flared against my fingertips as he used fire to keep the contents warm.
My lips parted in awe, my own fire igniting to do the same and bringing the liquid to a boil. “Wow,” I whispered, staring down at the bubbling chocolate.
“Try stirring it,” he murmured, releasing the mug.
“With what?” There was no spoon.
“Air.” He studied the drink, his head tilting. “Perhaps water, too, as I added some to the mixture.”
I considered his suggestion and exhaled over the top of the rim. It created a tiny ripple that I tugged on and swirled with my mind, the contents shifting with my mental command. “Oh…” It was working. The bubbles smoothed as I whirled the chocolate with another breath, the sweet aroma tickling my nose.
“It’s all about control,” Exos said softly, his blue eyes simmering as he observed.
“Why is fire so much easier?” I asked, calling for it again to heat my cup and infusing more air to twirl it through my drink.
“It seems to be tied to your emotions. Calling the flames is a natural defense. It’s also the most passionate of the elements.” Embers danced along his fingertips, jumping into my hot chocolate and joining my atmospheric storm.
I smiled as I absorbed his energy with mine, the feeling so incredibly natural. “Maybe I’m more Fire Fae?”
He shook his head. “No, you’re very much a Spirit Fae.”
“But I don’t seem to be doing much with spirit.”
“Because you don’t know how to use it yet.” His expression darkened a bit. “It’s the most powerful element in existence and therefore the most important to understand before you access it. You literally hold the lives of those around you in your hands when you play with spirit.”
I stopped playing with the hot chocolate, his words chilling me. “What do you mean?”
“When you have the power to create life, you can also take it. Or…” He met my gaze. “Or you can manipulate it.”
“Like telling people what to do?”
He nodded. “But it’s more than that. Spirit gives us access to the souls of every living, breathing thing, from the trees outside to the fae in this dorm. And the more powerful the Spirit Fae, the stronger the ability to take control. It’s considered a very dark gift, Claire. Most of my kind only use it on a superficial level as a result.”
“And you?” I asked.
His expression hardened. “I use it as required as the strongest Spirit Fae in the realm.”
“By taking lives,” I translated. “Or repurposing them.”
“Only in very dire situations. But yes.”
I swallowed, finally understanding his purpose here. “That’s why you’ve been assigned to me. To rein me in, or kill me, as required.”
“Yes.” No hesitation or guilt or apology. “However, my goal is to help you thrive, Claire.” He drew his finger across my cheek and down my neck as an alarm sounded in the other room. “Sandwiches.” He gave me a small smile before sliding off the bed to leave me with the hot chocolate. It’d gone cold in my hands, my fingers turning it to ice at his words.
If Exos couldn’t help me find control over these wayward powers, he would be forced to hurt me.
No, to kill me.
Or worse—possess me.
I shivered. What if I can’t master these abilities?
Focusing again on my cup, I brought the drink to a boil and tried to access the water inside to stir the contents. When nothing happened, I blew again, re-creating the action from earlier. Then I tried something different by pulling the liquid up with my mind to create a funnel over the rim.
It resembled a tornado of molten chocolate.
I tried tasting it and found the flavor to be the same as it was before, but even more potent. Magical. And so, so delicious.
After a few more sips, I coaxed the liquid back into my cup and noticed Exos watching from the doorway with two plates, one in each hand. “I didn’t want to interrupt you,” he said, his voice huskier than before.
My cheeks heated as I set the mug aside. “I was playing.”
“I know.” He settled beside me again, handing me one of the dishes. “Your knack for air is growing. I don’t have an advisor for you in that element yet, but I’ll work on one. Elana mentioned a Vox; apparently, he’s tutoring an Earth Fae already and doing a good job with him.” He took a bite of the strange green thing in his hand and shrugged. “A task for tomorrow.”
I was too busy staring at his food to really hear and comprehend his words. “What is that?” I had one on my plate as well. It reminded me of a lettuce wrap, except cooked. And the stu
ff inside was definitely not anything I’d seen before.
“Take a bite and find out,” he taunted. “You’ll see.”
I poked the foresty globe on my plate. “Eh…”
“Live a little, princess.” He winked and took another bite, then reached around me to grab my hot chocolate and took a swallow before returning it.
The act felt intimate somehow, as if we did this every day.
Yet this was the first time he’d ever been normal with me. Well, as normal as a fae could be, anyway. This sandwich didn’t qualify. Neither did the elemental magic tricks.
He arched an eyebrow at me. “If you don’t at least try it, I’m going to be offended, Claire. It’s not as if I go about cooking for just anyone, you know.”
Because he was a Prince. He probably had manservants. Or maybe more of those pixie things that Elana had used.
“Fine.” I could at least taste it. The hot chocolate was one of the best I’d ever tasted. Maybe this sandwich would join the list? I eyed the globe and picked it up with my hands—like Exos had. The texture reminded me of a moist tortilla, only it was leafy like lettuce.
And so, so green.
I took a small bite, expecting the worst, and raised my eyebrows when the taste exploded in my mouth. Spicy but sweet, and delicious.
Yet, mushy.
And not at all what I would call a sandwich.
It was more like hummus mixed with crunchy vegetables and beans, heated into a spinach casing with a gooey texture.
Exos waited until I swallowed to ask, “Like it?”
“It’s… different.”
“It’s a sandwich,” he replied, acting as if I’d lost my marbles.
“This is not a sandwich,” I assured him. “It’s like a, uh, melted salad in brick form. There’s not even meat on it. Or cheese.”
He gave me the most offended look imaginable. “Why the hell would you put meat and cheese in a sandwich?”
I gaped at him.
And giggled.
“Meat and cheese in a sandwich.” He shuddered. “Gross.”
My giggle blossomed into a laugh that shook my shoulders, the goop on my plate forgotten as I keeled over in a humorous fit. He sounded so displeased by my comment, as if I’d made the most ridiculous suggestion. And hey, maybe to him, I had. Because he wasn’t human.
He was a fae.
A fae meant to be my protector and executioner.
I couldn’t stop laughing, the hilarity of the moment and situation unraveling inside me. I burned down a bar. Me. Claire. What were the chances? Oh, apparently good because I was a fae, too. I battled an inferno today—one I seemingly created. And I fought it with my breath.
My body vibrated with uncontrollable mirth. I couldn’t stop, the burst of emotion requiring an escape. An outlet. Something.
Exos said something, but I couldn’t hear him over the thoughts pelting my brain.
I’m a fae.
I control fire.
Wind. Er, air. Whatever.
Water.
Hot chocolate.
And I’m eating goo for lunch. Is it even lunch? Oh, who the hell knows?!
I lost it. Completely lost it. Tears sprouted in my eyes from laughing so hard, tears that turned to sobs. Sobs that hurt.
But I deserved it. Because I hurt people.
Rick.
Those girls outside. They may have provoked me, but that didn’t warrant me burning them alive over some petty jealousy. Jealousy over a man I hardly knew, yet almost fucked last night.
Oh God… I couldn’t stop crying. Couldn’t stop laughing. Couldn’t stop being.
So much for being strong and fighting through my shit, because all I wanted to do right now was curl into a ball and hide.
And I did just that, tucking my knees into my chest while burying my face against my forearms, and let it all out. Every ounce of fear, agony, and sadness, that I’d harbored for days, flew from me in a cacophony of sobs mingled with strangled laughs.
The plate clattered to the floor.
I didn’t care.
Exos wrapped his arms around me, his chest to my back, his face in my hair.
I didn’t care.
He whispered words of encouragement, his comfort an undeniable force behind me.
I didn’t care.
The sun fell outside my window, the tears still flowing.
I didn’t care.
I was broken.
Shattered.
Irreparably lost.
And…
I didn’t care.
Except that was all a lie. I cared about every minute detail. Which was precisely the problem. I cared entirely too much.
That was what destroyed me.
My actual inability to let it all go, to just accept my fate. And maybe I would eventually. But not tonight.
Tonight, I mourned.
For Rick. For the bar and anyone else I hurt. For my friends that I would never see again. For Elana’s house. For the girls I almost hurt outside hours ago.
And most importantly—I mourned for myself.
For Claire. For the woman I used to be. Because she didn’t exist here.
It’s only me.
12
Exos
Water.
Why am I in water?
I tried to shake off the strange dream, my nose catching in Claire’s lavender-scented hair. My arms tightened around her reflexively, some ancient part of me pleased by her nearness—the part that called for our bond.
Falling asleep with her body pressed up against mine had felt natural. Almost too natural. But she needed comfort, and I wasn’t strong enough to reject her. The spirit essence inside me recognized his mate, whether I liked it or not.
No other Spirit Fae had connected to me the way Claire had, and all through a meager kiss. She’d floored me, knocked me off-kilter, and ruined me for anyone else.
What made it worse was it seemed she required a mate for each element. It wasn’t necessarily unheard of for Spirit Fae to have two mates because of our ties to two elements, but most only bonded with one fae. However, on the occasion when a Spirit Fae took two mates, it was one for each element.
And Claire had access to five.
Fuck.
I never saw myself falling into the mating rites, having opted for a life of guardianship. My brother was the one meant to settle down with another and try to create more Spirit Fae.
If he saw me now, he’d laugh. Cuddling. An activity I never engaged in, even post-sex.
I almost laughed, then remembered how Claire had giggled over the sandwich and broke down in sobs. Her emotions were all over the map, making it very difficult to predict her reactions. Holding her as she slept was the only comfort I could offer her, and I worried it wasn’t enough.
Nuzzling her hair, I sighed. She felt so incredibly right in my arms. I never wanted to let her go, or wake from this strange, warm cocoon. But something nagged at me. The reason I woke up.
I squinted into the darkness, her shutters closed for the night.
Everything seemed all right. So what caused me to stir? Had she moved? Was it a strange dream? I glanced around, searching for the culprit of our disturbance.
Then I heard it.
Water.
Had I left the faucet running in the kitchen? Damn. That was exactly what it sounded like.
Easing away from Claire, I made my way into the living room and frowned at the quiet sink. Where is that noise com—
The front door began to bow, trickles of water flowing in through the cracks.
“What the fuck?” I breathed, inching closer. Then my eyes widened at the crashing sound just outside. “Oh, shit!” I ran back toward the bedroom, only to have the door slam into my back as a tidal wave swept into the room, throwing me to the ground and then up into a tornado of water.
Claire!
The room filled quickly, my access to air gone before I could utter a word or a warning. I swam toward her, my dress pants and s
hirt weighing me down. Kicking off my shoes as I moved, I managed to meet her halfway, her eyes wild beneath the water.
I gestured at the window and blew a bubble.
She frowned.
Air, I mouthed. Use your air!
Because if she didn’t burst the glass, we were both going to drown.
Unless I forced her… My spirit drove to the surface, my fight-or-flight responses kicking in, ready to dive into her and take hold of her powers. I hated doing this, the darkness of manipulating others not something that appealed to me, but this was life or—
Claire grabbed my hand and sent an explosion of air at the glass, shattering it. The water pushed us through the opening, sending us sprawling out across the charred ground outside with her on my chest, sputtering.
Several other students were already outside, soaking wet, most in little to no clothing due to the midnight hour. Many were crying. Others gulping in air, terror rendering them speechless.
Fire and water did not mingle well together given their opposite properties.
“Wh-what happened?” Claire asked, her soaked dress clinging to her curves.
“I don’t know.” I pushed her damp hair away from her face and pressed my lips to her forehead before guiding us both upright. The water seemed to have evaporated, several of the Fire Fae using their gifts against the tidal waves. But the damage was already done.
And from what I could sense, we’d lost at least one life inside. Perhaps two.
“You!” A shriek came from across the yard, the bitchy female from earlier pointing her manicured nail at Claire. “You did this!”
Everyone turned to stare at us, several jaws dropping at the realization of just who had appeared outside.
“I… I didn’t,” Claire said, her voice soft, barely audible.
“First you try to fry me with my own essence, and now drown me?” the bitch continued, stalking toward us in a tiny pair of shorts and a completely translucent tank top, her fiery hair a mess over her shoulders. “If you want to duel, bitch, let’s do it. Right now. Right here.”
Gasps fluttered through the air, the challenge a lethal one.
“Sit down and shut the fuck up,” I said, pushing to my feet to stand between her and Claire.
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