by Len Webster
The pleasure was too much.
Too intense.
Watching Will go down on her, and the determination to please her on his face, was the crescendo of her pleasure, taking her over the edge and into the abyss. She was a star lost in a constellation of bright lights as her orgasm knocked the air from her lungs and caused her legs to trap him.
“That’s it, sweetheart, come on me,” he cooed as he slowed his fingers’ thrust.
Savannah fell back, panting hard as she covered her face with her palms. She had never come that hard in her life. Never so quickly, either. Normally, it took her quite some time, but not with Will.
He knew where to touch her.
How to pleasure her.
“Savannah?” His voice was wary.
Savannah moved her hands to find him still between her legs with her panties bunched to one side.
This man.
This man confessed he stroked himself at the thought of her. He could have thought of anyone—wanted anyone—but he chose her.
Savannah was falling for this better man, and she couldn’t stop herself. She had known him for years, but it took certain days in their lives to make her see what she should have known.
That William Lawrence was the better man.
And she would not deny them this last night together.
She sat up, as did Will, and grasped his face, smashing their lips together. She tasted her orgasm from his kiss and brought him down on the bed with her. Will settled himself against her wet core, and they both moaned at the contact.
They kissed.
And kissed.
They could have kissed for a second, and it still felt like forever.
They kissed like they had forever as Will rubbed himself against her. The head of his hard cock pressed perfectly against her clit, making her moan, building the pleasure and need for him.
“Savannah.” He sighed her name before he pressed his hands on the pillow and looked down at her.
They panted for a moment as they looked each other in the eye.
“Yes, Will?”
“What happens tomorrow?”
Tomorrow.
The elephant in the room.
She wanted to stay with him—to see what it would be like if she had more than one day with him—but she couldn’t. She couldn’t risk being in New York any longer. Savannah had a life in Vermont. A father and a job to return to. As much as she would love to stay with Will, she couldn’t. He couldn’t take any more time away from his life and career to be with her.
Savannah’s palms found the back of his head, bringing him closer. Her eyes searched his, seeing the uncertainty in them. Though it hurt to see, she also saw the want for her in them. The longing for her. The potential love she saw glowing in his amber eyes.
They were two stars colliding for the first and last time with the purpose of being memorable.
“I don’t know,” she confessed.
In a small voice, he said, “I understand.”
“Give us tonight, and we’ll figure out tomorrow.”
He nodded as his lips found hers, kissing her with the belief that maybe tomorrow they’d have the answers. The answers she wanted but couldn’t have.
Will didn’t say another word as he pulled away from her kiss and reached over to the nightstand, pulling the drawer open. Savannah watched him retrieve a condom and get on his knees. He ripped the foil package open and pulled out the condom before he set the wrapper on the nightstand. Then he held his erection in one hand and used the other to roll the protection down his length.
With the condom on, his body covered hers, and his big hands dug into her hair as he kissed her. He had ruined kissing for her. She was certain that no other kiss would ever measure up to William Lawrence’s.
Slowly, he pulled her panties down. Savannah kicked them off her ankles to land wherever they chose to. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, throwing it on the floor. Then Will wrapped his fingers around his length, and Savannah held her breath as he looked up at her.
“Are you sure?” he asked gently.
She nodded. “I’m sure. I need you, Will.”
Need.
She needed Will. Need was stronger than want. She desperately needed this man.
And then slowly, he guided himself to her core. He paused for a moment, then he flexed his hips, stretching her as he inched inside her. It had been so long for Savannah, but she would have gone years if it meant she could have him.
Even for one night.
“Savannah,” he groaned as he sank into her, filling her completely. She was so full. The slight pain did nothing compared to the all-consuming pleasure he gave her.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him back to her. His solid chest pressing against her breasts. She felt his fast heartbeat and smiled. She affected this man as wildly as he affected her.
He made her feel beautiful as he asked, “Are you okay?”
If any other man had asked her, she would have laughed. But with Will, she knew he was sincere. So Savannah nodded as she widened her legs, feeling him deeper. “Yes.”
“Can I move?”
“Please.”
Will pulled out a fraction before he thrust back in, causing Savannah to moan. He was so hard and deep. He was so gentle and loving.
Each thrust was perfect and each kiss was worthy of stars colliding as William Lawrence made love to her. With each sigh of her name from his lips, he gave her better, stealing her heart away.
And as their moans increased, his hips thrust, and their pleasure built, she knew …
There was no doubt about it. She was falling in love with him.
It felt so sudden, but it took Savannah experiencing the worst with Walter for her to realize.
“Savannah, sweetheart, I’m gonna come,” he warned, desperate.
“Come,” she begged, meeting his thrusts.
Will reached between their bodies and found her clit, rubbing and causing her toes to curl as the signs of her orgasm flickered bright. “Come with me.” He rubbed faster and drove into her harder. “Savannah …”
“Yes, yes,” she whimpered. “Will, I’m … coming.”
“Fuck,” he cursed as he continued to massage her clit through her explosive orgasm. Then she felt him throb inside her before he cursed once more, “Fuck, Savannah,” and his back strained as he jerked inside her.
Will collapsed on top of her. Their spent, naked, and sweaty bodies fit perfectly together as they panted.
It was perfect.
No one had ever made love to her with the affection and passion Will had. And as she stared at his ceiling while they recovered, Savannah knew that this was goodbye. He gave her better. He was her better man. And in his arms, with his beautiful body on hers, and him still inside her, she had another realization.
Sometimes, you deserve the better man for a moment.
A fleeting second.
For the briefest of touches …
But you don’t deserve the better man forever.
One time with William Lawrence wasn’t enough.
They made love twice more throughout the night before they finally fell asleep. She thought they couldn’t top their first time together, but she was mistaken. Will entering her from behind as he whispered how perfect she was in her ear was incredible. Their sex was better. Each orgasm he gave her, whether she rode him or it was from his tongue or fingers, was soul consuming.
Savannah was falling deeper and deeper.
She felt it with the touch of his fingers on her chest as his palm rested above her heart. She couldn’t look him in the eyes for long, dying from the hope and pain in his light browns. Savannah cursed him and herself. She knew being intimate with Will would be amazing, but she didn’t factor in the consequences. The pain of knowing one night wasn’t enough was crushing. A part of her wished last night had never happened so that goodbye would be easier. But nothing about falling for Will was easy. Not when fallin
g for him was the result of leaving another.
Savannah wasn’t wrong when she realized that she didn’t deserve Will forever. Not when she wasn’t the kind of woman she saw for him. The woman who deserved Will was successful and sure and didn’t have the baggage Savannah Peters had. As heartbreaking as goodbye would be for Savannah, she knew that she could be his better woman by leaving him and never coming back. They would spend the next years of their lives at family events, seeing their goddaughter grow and saying hi between all the years, and she had to find peace in that.
Savannah tilted her chin up to find the sun peeking through his blinds. The light was enough to see that he was still asleep. His arms were around her as if he thought she might leave in the dark of the New York night. She was a lot of things, but she wouldn’t do that to Will.
One day, she hoped he’d tell fond stories of their day in New York. Talk about how they sat on a bench and spoke of the pain they suffered to find each other, how those memories of past lovers turned into hours of stories and laughter, and how they didn’t realize Savannah was falling in love with him under the sunshine.
Slowly fell in love with his smile. Slowly fell in love with the glimmer in his eyes. And with her next breath, she became consumed with love for his gentle heart.
It was so sudden—yet not at all—to feel all this and more for Will.
He was effortless.
Beautiful.
Perfect in every way.
He deserved more than a doubtful heart like hers.
And just as she had fallen for him, he slowly opened his eyes, smiling at the sight of her. She wasn’t sure how the next mornings of her life would compare to the one they were living. His arm around her tightened, holding her close as he whispered, “Morning.”
A smile touched her lips. “Morning.”
He let out a contented sigh as his hand lowered to rub her bare back. He stared at the ceiling like she had as his smile faded. His face tightened with dissatisfaction. “Your flight leaves soon.”
She nodded into his hard chest. The same chest that pressed against hers last night. The same chest she dug her nails into as he made love to her again and again. “Yeah, we should get ready.”
“We should,” he agreed as his phone rang next to them. With his free hand, he reached over and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He sighed when they both saw Emerson’s name on the screen.
“You should take it,” Savannah encouraged as she pressed her palm on his chest and pushed herself up, her messy blond curls falling over her shoulders. She brushed her curls behind her ear and attempted a smile. “I’ll go shower, and then you can get ready for work.”
Will’s brows furrowed as he dropped his phone on the bed. Then he sat up, and his eyes bore into hers. “Savannah, you don’t think I’m choosing work over you, do you?”
She shook her head. “Of course not. But I can get to JFK on my own. There’s no reason for you to miss another day of work.”
He flinched as if she had slapped him across the face. “There is a reason.”
Don’t, her heart pleaded.
Make this easier for the both of us, her head screamed.
“There’s not,” she said in a small, frightened voice.
Will grasped her hands in his. “You’re leaving me, Savannah.” He sounded sad and looked heartbroken as that gleam he woke up with disappeared. Then he sighed. “That in and of itself is a reason to see you off at the airport.”
You’re leaving me, Savannah.
Four of the saddest words she had ever heard. She was leaving him. And Savannah had never felt more helpless in her entire life. She didn’t want to leave him, but her life wasn’t supposed to be entwined with his.
He released her right hand and gently cupped her cheek. “Let me take you to the airport.” He swallowed hard. “Let me say goodbye to you.”
He didn’t fight her for a future, and in a way, she was relieved. They understood that last night was their last.
Savannah didn’t have a future with this man.
This perfect man.
Her heart ached as she smiled through her stinging eyes. Will deserved the chance to find someone worth fighting for, and Savannah wasn’t that woman. She had never been that woman. Not with Walter and his drinking. Not with her mother and her time. Not with Will and his future. Will deserved uncomplicated, and she was not the definition of that. For one, she lived in Vermont, and two, her ex was his client. Walter could ruin his career, and Savannah would not let that happen. And in order to do that, she had to stay away from the one man she wanted a future with.
So Savannah fought through her tears and nodded. “Okay, you can say goodbye to me at the airport.”
Relief took hold of his face, and the anxiety faded away in an instant. Will brought her close and kissed her forehead.
A perfect goodbye would be to have him one last time. A perfect goodbye would be a kiss hello. A perfect goodbye would have her returning to him.
But that wasn’t in their stars.
They had an imperfect goodbye filled with longing and what-could-have-beens.
Will had ordered a car to take them to JFK to avoid the subway. Savannah tried to object his generosity, but he refused. As Savannah showered, she stood under the hot water and thought over last night. Thought over her past twenty-four hours with Will. In theory, it was perfect, but she knew it wasn’t.
She wanted to kiss him.
Wished he would have joined her in the shower instead of preparing breakfast.
Savannah hoped he’d fight for her, but she wouldn’t let the thought foster in her head. This was goodbye. If she hadn’t come to New York to see Walter, the past few days would never have existed. She had been wishing she had never come, but she knew because of him she got to be with Will.
To have Will intimately. To kiss him and believe he was hers and she was his. But last night was the final act for them before she returned to her real life in Vermont.
“Have a great flight,” the check-in lady said with a smile.
Savannah returned the smile with her own. “Y’all have a great day,” she wished the ladies who helped her check in for her flight to Burlington International Airport.
Once she collected her driver’s license and boarding pass, she turned and left the counter. She walked over to where Will was waiting for her. He came to the airport as promised, but she wished he’d said goodbye to her by the curb. It would have made things easier, but Will took her bag and helped her out of the car.
Now she didn’t know what to do.
What to say.
Goodbye was imminent, but she didn’t want it.
As she was checking in, she glanced over her shoulder and saw him waiting for her. She almost told the lady she didn’t want to take the flight to Vermont. Just seeing him waiting for her almost had her running back to him. But she knew it wasn’t healthy for her to feel what she did with Will.
“Everything, okay?”
Savannah nodded. “Yeah. Checked in.” She lifted her boarding pass to show him. “I better go through TSA.”
He nodded as he stepped closer and cradled her jaw in his palms. His thumb brushed her cheek as he had last night. “I should let you go …”
“Yeah, the line at TSA will—”
He shook his head, and a small smile graced his lips. “I don’t mean I should let you go so you can board your flight. Savannah, last night …”
“Last night.”
“I’ve never been with a woman like you.”
Her heart clenched, hoping it meant he wanted her forever. But then Will said, “No one will ever compare to you, Savannah Peters.”
There.
Goodbye.
There was no fight for his future or hers, and she knew what little hope she had was delusional. There was no making it work. This was where it ended.
In an airport.
It seemed fitting enough.
So Savannah whispered to her heart that someday it wo
uld feel deserving once more and nodded at Will.
Her better man was onto a better life … without her.
“And no one will ever compare to you, Will.” She inhaled a shaky breath and slowly released it. “Thank you for the past few days. Thank you for Massachusetts.” Her heart ached in her chest, hating this goodbye more than any she had ever made. “Thank you for New York.”
She wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips one last time and taste what goodness felt like, but she didn’t. Instead, Savannah grasped his arms and pulled his hands from her face. She could be upset, maybe even be heartbroken, but she would not live in regret. She got to experience and fall for William Lawrence. For a little while, she felt deserving of him. She just hoped the woman after her would be his last.
Because that was what the better man deserved.
Forever.
And she would not stand in the way of him finding that.
“I better go,” she said in a tight voice as she fought through the lump in her throat. When she released his hands and stepped away, his eyes flashed with a pain she felt right in her chest. She might not be the deserving one, but she would be the stronger one. So Savannah smiled one last time. “Take care of yourself, Will.”
Then she spun around and walked away.
With every step she took, she wished he chased after her.
With every step she took, she was proud of him for letting her go so she couldn’t ruin him.
With every step she made, she still fell further in love with him.
Savannah was sure of it.
Twenty-one
Walter
Junior year of college
It had been months.
Months of seeing Savannah at parties, his games, around campus, and at Chino’s. His junior year at Duke had been spent lusting over the blonde who made his coffee. The blonde whose roommate and best friend was dating Walter’s.
It was as if Landon was torturing him when he pursued Alex.
Now, they were dating.
Duke’s favorite couple.
Every time Alex stopped by their dorm room, he’d try to listen for any hint of whether or not Savannah was seeing anyone. The day Walter met her, all she gave him was her name.
