“She’s getting married and she’s asking Alex to be bridesmaid,” Jackson said. “Nothing surer.”
We laughed at that. Alex had been pretty interested in Violet until she decided to date Razer.
“This is killing me,” Carlie said. “I’m her friend. Shouldn’t she tell me before Alex?”
“Not if she’s quitting,” said Drew.
“Bloody hell, I hadn’t thought of that. She’d never quit. She’ll die here at Trouble. She loves her job too much.”
I wondered though. Violet did love her job but she’d been doing it for a while now. Maybe she wanted something more. Razer’s popularity kept growing. They might want to move to a bigger town and she’d have more opportunities there. Staying behind for five weeks while he played a festival was one thing but doing that constantly would be tough. I’d never want to do it.
Carlie had moved down the bar, next to the door that led to the storeroom. She was trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. She’d never have a hope of hearing anything over the noise of the bar though.
Just as she had her ear almost to the door, it swung open. Alex glared at her.
Violet followed behind him and then Razer.
“I have to tell them,” she said.
Alex nodded.
We all watched as she walked around the bar and sat down. Carlie handed her a drink.
She took a deep breath but didn’t talk.
Carlie walked over and turned the music down.
Razer walked behind Violet and put his hands on her shoulders to give her moral support. She bent back to look at him and smiled. Was Drew right? Were they getting married? She looked awfully concerned for an announcement like that.
“I’m leaving the bar,” she said.
I almost didn’t hear her.
Carlie turned the music off completely and walked over to Violet.
“Did I hear you right?”
Violet nodded.
“But we were supposed to be rock widows together. The two of us left alone while our men went off to war. Well, rock war.”
“It’s something I can’t refuse. Razer and the guys have been offered a huge European tour. Three months over summer, with a possibility of more dates in Asia.”
“We’re getting a recording contract too. They’ve booked us a studio in Berlin to lay down the album. Who’d have thought it, huh? Berlin.”
Alex glared so hard, I thought he’d break something inside. His rivalry with Razer wasn’t just over Violet but the whole band thing too. And Razer raced way ahead of him there.
Violet gulped but she seemed like she wanted to smile.
“I’ve been offered the job of tour manager. The promotion company spoke to Razer about it and I’ve just been on the phone to them. I’m going to miss the fuck out you guys but it’s too good a chance to miss. Plus, there is no way we’re going to be apart for months. Four weeks has been enough.”
Drew jumped up and threw his arms around her. I think he was hugging Razer a little bit too.
“I’m going to miss you guys. Are you having a farewell party? Can I play guitar at it? Jackson is teaching me. Look, Violet, I have callouses.”
Razer laughed. “Hell yeah, you can play guitar. I hadn’t even thought of that. I’ve got to go back and finish off these dates, then I’m back in town for a few days before we leave.”
Carlie folded her arms. She didn’t congratulate Violet. She leaned against the sink.
“You can’t have it here,” said Alex. “We have our own gigs planned. We can’t rearrange the entire roster just for you. Sorry.”
“We can have it on the 18th,” Violet said. “The headline canceled today and I’ve been trying to fill the spot. The other two bands we had planned will be happy to work around it.”
“And how will I make money out of this? No one is going to pay to see Drew play and none of your friends ever pay for drinks.”
“That’s because they are all staff, knob head,” said Carlie. “We don’t pay for drinks. Let them have their party and stop being a big douche canoe about the whole thing. If they have it somewhere else, your entire staff will be at the party and not working, I can promise you that. The place will be empty for the night and it’ll be only you here, serving drinks. To yourself.”
Alex pursed his lips. He hated being wrong and it seemed that Carlie had bested him twice in one night.
“There’ll be no free drinks for staff then. I’ll have to close the place and I’ll be losing a ton of money.”
“Whatever. We’re having a party.” Carlie bit her lip, suppressing a grin.
The rest of the night was spent planning the party and getting upset over Violet leaving. Holden came in after rehearsal and offered to play. Then Razer said he wanted to play too, even though it was his party. The two of them discussed doing a song together while Alex sat in the corner getting all pissy because he couldn’t jump in to join them after opposing the party in the first place.
“The three of us can do a song together,” said Drew. “That’ll be all kinds of awesome.”
In the midst of the excitement, with all the attention on Violet and Razer, I glanced over and noticed Jackson watching me. I tried to ignore him but it felt like I was so obviously not looking at him. My hair flopped down in my face and I tucked it back but that seemed like a nervous gesture.
I ended up moving from my seat. If he had no interest in me, he could keep his eyes to himself instead of making all this heat shoot through me.
Chapter 13 Jackson
“ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT to do this?” I asked Drew. “You are going to be up on stage with Razer and Holden. Those guys are good. They’re really good.”
“But no one expects me to be as good as them. They are heaps older than me.”
I wasn’t sure how old Drew actually was. Sometimes it seemed he wasn’t old enough to be working in a bar but he’d gotten the job so he had to be at least eighteen. And he was right that no one would expect him to be as good but, if it were me, I’d want to make damn sure I could hold my own.
“So long as you’re okay with that. Go through it one more time. There are a few bits that you need more work on.”
He started playing again. He’d decided he wanted to play the song he’d written himself at Violet and Razer’s party.
When he got through it, he looked up at me. “I’ve written some words to it too.”
“You aren’t going to sing?” God, that would be the last thing anyone wanted.
“No, I asked Gina to sing. She’s a really good singer but you probably knew that already.”
I didn’t know that and I had no idea how Drew knew. I wasn’t about to ask him. I read over the lyrics he’d written. The only bit I had to worry about was that he could play it well enough.
“We’ve been practicing together a lot. She’s awesome.”
My stomach lurched. The thought of the two of them alone together, practicing Drew’s song seemed awfully intimate. Like they were a couple. I had no idea if they were or if things had fizzled out between them after that date but they sure seemed like they were getting closer.
“There’s something missing in the chorus,” I said. “It builds up and then goes nowhere.”
I hummed the bit so he could see what I meant.
“You’re a good singer too. You and Gina could sing it together.”
“I wasn’t singing, I was humming, you fool.”
“Same thing, though. It’s holding a tune. That would be awesome, Jackson. Say you’ll sing my song with Gina. You don’t have to play guitar, just sing. That should be okay.”
“That will never happen in this lifetime. Get that fool idea out your head.”
“You can give me a challenge. Anything.”
He looked so damn innocent when he said that but I knew better now. He’d defeated me and he’d defeated Carlie. He wasn’t so innocent. He lived his life like a pool shark. Who knew what hidden skills he had? I’d not be taking him on again in a hurry.
“Just play the bloody song.”
“Gina’s really pretty, isn’t she?” he said as he played.
I choked on my drink. Yes, she was really pretty but I had no intention of discussing that with Drew.
“I think you hurt her feelings, Jackson.”
I definitely did that and I wasn’t proud of it. Every time I saw her, the icy-cold hand of guilt gripped my heart. Until the day I died, I’d never forgive myself for hurting her but I’d done the right thing. I had to believe that.
“You’re here to learn guitar, not to discuss Gina or anyone else.”
My breath caught just from saying her name.
Of course, she’s pretty. She’s pretty when she wraps that strand of hair around her finger when she’s nervous. She’s pretty when she sits at the bar, glancing at me when she thinks I don’t notice. Even the questions in her eyes look pretty but my answers will always be as ugly as hell.
“Okay, give that a rest now. You played ‘Rock Princess’ for me before, so I’m going to put it on and see if you can keep up.”
He nodded as I queued up the song.
The beginning was fine. He had that down. The chorus was pretty simple too but, once he got into the second verse, there were some tricky chord changes. I’d see how much he’d been practicing.
Drew had my guitar and he had Gina and all I had was my own bitterness. It made me question if that was worth holding onto.
Chapter 14 Gina
THE PARTY WAS ALL EVERYONE at the bar talked about. Razer finished the festivals and had arrived back in town with the rest of his band.
“Who is Alex getting to replace Violet?” I asked Drew.
“Sally. She was so excited when Alex wanted to talk to her but I think she came out of the office looking sad because she likes Alex. She wanted him to ask her on a date, not give her a promotion.”
Of course, Sally would be a great replacement. I didn’t know her very well but she seemed nice.
Not many people had turned up yet but I’d wanted to get there early because I had to sing with Drew. I couldn’t keep still. I hated having attention on me and I was sure I’d muck up Drew’s song.
“Are you sure you want me to sing with you?” I asked him.
He nodded. “Positive.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t fidget.
“Don’t worry, Gina. It’s just friends here. You’ll be fine.”
It was okay for Drew to say that. He didn’t seem to have the same fears I had. I ordered a drink and gulped it down. I could do this. I’d be fine. It was just singing.
In a room full of people.
People who did it professionally.
I wanted to help Drew and, when he’d asked, I hadn’t thought about it too deeply. But I’d had time to obsess since then. So much could go wrong. I had no business getting up on stage and singing as though I knew what I was doing. I’d practiced a heap with Drew but that was different. No one watched us. Even if I’d sounded okay then, there was no promise that my voice would be anywhere near as good tonight.
I clutched hold of Drew.
“I’m not sure I can do it. I have bad stomach cramps. I might have a virus.”
“Gina, it’s just nerves. You have nothing to worry about. It’s not like anyone who matters will be watching.”
No one who matters? I hadn’t even thought of that aspect. It’d been bad enough Jackson laughing at me once. If he did it again, I’d die. I’d curl up into a little ball and die. My mouth felt so dry, I gulped down another drink.
Violet and Razer came over to join us.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” I told them. Everyone had told them thousands of times since the announcement but it seemed that you couldn’t say it enough to express the full extent of the missing. Trouble wouldn’t be the same without Violet. This was her place much more than it was ever Alex’s or the previous owner, Chuck’s.
“Oh, I’ll phone in every night to make sure things are okay.”
“No, you won’t.” Razer crossed his arms. I think that was an issue between them.
“Only for the first few weeks. Sally will need some support.”
“Remember the time difference, you’ll probably have to call at some awful hour of the morning,” I added. “It’ll be really hard to deal with that, especially when Razer is playing so many shows and all that traveling, and everything will be strange.”
I was so nervous, I’d started raving. I had no idea what I was even saying, it just felt like words would fill up the space where the nerves lived.
“Oh yeah, I’ll have to deal with that. Shit. I’ll need to download an app for it.”
The room filled up. The staff and regulars from the bar. Plus, bands that Razer knew and some of his fans. I couldn’t believe that two people knew so many people. If I had a party and invited everyone I was friends with, you could hold it in the toilets.
I had a few more drinks before I had to sing, and I started relaxing. I could actually think about singing without needing to vomit. I tried not to think about it, though. I just thought about talking and drinking.
I had almost forgotten I’d planned to sing when Drew grabbed me.
“Come on, Gina,” he said. “We’re on.”
It was too late to back out. If only I hadn’t promised Drew. If I was just me, then I’d run as fast as I could, but Drew worked so hard on this song. I couldn’t let him down.
My heart beat so furiously, it actually hurt me. I never even knew that was possible.
When I got up on that stage, my stomach lurched. The crowd hadn’t looked so crowdy when I was part of it but, from the stage, it seemed there were a million people in the room. The lights shone in my face so I could only see their outline. Hell, I hoped no one noticed how nervous I was.
Drew smiled at me. “You’ll be fine,” he said and picked up his guitar, plugging it into the amp.
I rubbed my hand across my forehead so that the sweat didn’t drip into my eyes. Those lights were hot. And every single person in this room had become a tormentor just waiting for me to make a mistake. My parched throat felt like it was closing up.
Someone had put water on the stage and I grabbed a bottle, gulping it down so fast the plastic bottle crumpled. That was a mistake. Why hadn’t I gone to the toilet before I went on stage? I’d had enough drinks that my bladder cried out. Could I even sing like that?
“Ready?” Drew asked.
I nodded but I wasn’t ready. I’d never be ready. I just wanted this over. I’d sing. I’d screw up. Everyone would laugh and I’d run out and never leave my house again. But at least it’d be done.
Drew played the opening notes and I waited for my cue. I opened my mouth and my voice came out in a strangled squeak. I thought I heard someone laugh but I wasn’t sure. Everything outside of me blurred. I had to sing more. I had to relax. If I relaxed, I’d be able to sing okay.
But people were staring.
My eyes had gotten used to the lights enough that I could make out faces in the first row. I searched for someone familiar, Violet or Carlie or even Jackson, but I couldn’t see them. I fumbled the words in the next line. My timing was wrong and I was sure that was putting Drew off. I needed to get this right. If only I could breathe, but I couldn’t.
The sweat dripped down into my eyes now, making them sting and water. I didn’t want to wipe it away, I’d look like I was crying.
The next line was the most essential one, the upping of the tension of the first verse into the chorus. If I screwed that up, I’d screw up the whole song but my heart raced and every single thing was wrong.
Then a strong, throaty voice began singing. It was just perfect. I joined in as Jackson walked on stage.
The crowd faded away, they weren’t important. It was just Jackson and me on stage. He smiled and my heart fluttered. Having him beside me gave me the courage I lacked. That tight, constricted feeling in my lungs disappeared. It was like the things stopping my voic
e had been cleared away.
The two of us finished the song together, our voices creating the perfect harmony. It wasn’t just my voice, though. My insides sang, even though I knew it was nothing. He was helping Drew, not me.
When we finished singing, I looked at Drew and he grinned at me. Almost like this had been his plan all along.
Chapter 15 Jackson
I HAD TO DO IT. I COULDN’T let her stay up there alone with her hands trembling and her voice struggling to get out. She’d have been devastated. The room waited with bated breath, wanting her to do it and struggling along with her. She seemed so frail and helpless, like a bird caught in a trap. If I didn’t help her out, she’d have been decimated.
I knew the words to Drew’s song. He’d sang it for me a few times, although I’d begged him not to. It was a pretty simple song, all about the violet being cut by the Razer. He thought it was clever. It really wasn’t clever but it was good for a first attempt, even if it was a bit cheesy.
I hadn’t been on stage since the night of the accident. I never thought I’d be on a stage again. That was a past life, a different me. Something that had been buried long ago.
But she wrung my heart. No one else would help her. No one else even knew the song. Except Drew. God help us if he sang. She stood, hunched over the mic stand, staring out into the crowd like a rabbit in the headlights, shivering and alone.
Before I even thought it through, I moved up there to join her, my voice joining hers.
Gina’s voice got stronger as I sang with her. Knowing she didn’t have to carry the song herself, she relaxed.
Drew was right, she did have a great voice. Towards the end of the song, I held back and let her take it away. Her nerves had completely vanished by then, her clear voice ringing out, pure and true.
When she got to the second verse, her shoulders had lowered and the look of terror left her face. She turned to me and smiled, a smile like the first flowers of spring.
The Trouble with Rock Stars: Jackson's Story (Access All Areas, #3) Page 6
