“Remind me not to piss next to you,” said Shaun. “So, what do you need us to do, boss?”
“I need you,” said Lucas, “to stay here.”
Everyone groaned. Jake the loudest. “What? Are you serious?”
Lucas grinned. “Just kidding. Here, accept these gifts.” He clicked his fingers and all of a sudden, they were all holding solid silver swords. Their jaws dropped in astonishment as the weapons materialised in their hands from the air itself. Jake swiped his sword left to right, then beamed at Lucas to show his satisfaction. “Sweet.”
Lucas frowned for a moment—something wasn’t quite right. He clicked his fingers one more time and replaced the sword in Simon’s hand with a golden axe. “There, that’s better. Now you have the whole vVikingViking-vibe going for you.”
Simon chuckled and raised the sharp axe up onto his shoulder. With his bald head and bushy beard, he really did resemble a burly Norseman.
“Wait,” said Shaun, clutching his own sword awkwardly, like he wondered whether to use it as a weapon or a walking stick. “Things can’t be this easy, can they? We’re just going to stride out of the pub and start hacking our way to victory? Why can’t you just end the spell and let us go home?”
Lucas sighed. There was always one buzz-kill at a party. “The weapons are just for effect, matey. Truthfully, I’m going to be doing most of the heavy lifting, but if anything tries to take a bite out of ya, use the sword. Silver and gold are very effective at slicing demons. You all ready?”
They nodded.
Lucas led them to the pub’s front door. What they saw outside surprised them, even Lucas. The shops and pavement had disappeared, replaced by a vast desert of endless dunes.
“That wasn’t there earlier,” said Jake. “I’m almost certain.”
Lucas’s eyes narrowed. Judas was not without power of his own, and he was using it to try and retain his control over their reality. On the horizon of this vast desert sat a twinkling jewel, and Lucas knew exactly what it was.
“You fellas ever been to Jerusalem?” he asked.
“No,” said Shaun. “Why?”
“Because it looks like that’s where Judas wants us to face him. Come on, we have a walk ahead of us.”
They set off out of the pub into the desert. The earlier cold had been replaced by an unbearable heat, but Lucas did not let it affect his companions. He summoned a cooling breeze that washed over them as they walked. The effect was, overall, quite pleasant. Hell could be a nice place if you forced it to be.
“You said that Judas was human,” said Jake as they trudged up the first dune. “How can a human do all this?”
Lucas shrugged. “Trinkets, spells, rituals. Some of the most powerful beings on Earth are human. Judas has been alive a long time—who knows what knickknacks he’s managed to accrue. That, plus I essentially made him unkillable two-thousand years ago.”
Jake pulled a face. “And you can’t just… smack the bitch down? I mean, you’re The Devil again, right? Can’t you make this all go away?”
“Magic is an odd thing, lad. It has rules. You can counter a spell, but you can’t erase it unless you find the source. Judas gains power from something, but until we find out what it is, I can’t stop his nonsense. The plan is to face him, then squeeze his testicles until he weeps the truth.”
The breeze around them suddenly increased, buffeting their clothes. As they headed up a shifting dune, a gusting wind caused them to lose their footing. They stumbled and used their weapons to anchor themselves in the sand. Lucas stared over the top of the dune and saw Julian’s latest trick. “Heads down,” he shouted. “It’s about to start raining cats and dogs.”
The storm came in an eye-blink, tossing rain and sleet at them, and hurling high speed winds right in their faces. The weather was so dense that Lucas lost sight of the others and found himself hopelessly disorientated. The hail struck his eyes and forced them closed.
Judas wasn’t beaten yet—perhaps he was just getting started.
Bring it on!
“Lucas,” Shaun called out. “I can’t see you. Help!”
“I got you, man,” said Simon, obviously finding his friend amongst the hail.
“I’m over here,” called Jake. “Shit, man, this is proper English weather.”
Lucas laughed. Judas would not break them with a hail storm. Lightning struck two feet from his foot, and the black clouds suggested a second strike was coming. He threw up an arm and redirected the bolt just in time so that it struck ten feet away, turning the sand black.
“He’s throwing lightning!” Shaun cried, his courage wavering. “Why do things keep getting worse?”
“Keep moving,” said Lucas. “I’ll keep you lads breathing, I promise.”
More lightning dropped from the sky, but Lucas deflected it all. He could not see his companions, but the more he focused, the more the storm began to ease and the rain to depart. Slowly, the weather cleared and revealed the others to be standing a mere dozen feet away, yet they had been invisible in the storm. Lucas went over and patted them warmly on the back.
“See, your uncle Lucas has everything in hand. Judas will need to try a lot harder than that.”
A skittering sound alerted them, and they turned to see a sheet of multi-coloured desert moving towards them. An army of fat scorpions approached, their mass forming a constantly moving kaleidoscope of colours and size that rushed towards them in a wave. Their tails stung the air excitedly. Their claws pinched at the sand.
Shaun held his sword up, but it trembled like an electric toothbrush. “A-Are those scorpions?”
Lucas reached out a hand and summoned a massive golden warhammer with beautiful engravings. The scorpions moved fast and would be on them any minute, but he was looking forward to a fight.
“Judas has an affinity with creatures unseen,” he said. “A scorpion exists beneath our perception until its stinger is already buried in our flesh. Let’s crush the cheeky critters and send the man a message.”
The sword in Shaun’s hands was still trembling, but he slowly got it steady. “B-But there are thousands of them.”
“Aye!” Lucas nodded. “Shouldn’t take us too long.”
Lucas led the defence, dropping his massive warhammer down onto the dunes like the stomp of an elephant. Sand and pieces of crushed scorpion spat up into the air. He forced his will into the weapon and created a shock wave ten feet wide with every hit. Hundreds of scorpions exploded.
Jake and the others set about with their own weapons. Simon sweeping his axe laterally like a pendulum and scooping up dozens of scorpions before flinging them into the air, Jake and Shaun stabbing their swords at the ground like they were picking up litter.
A thousand more scorpions erupted from the sands. Judas’s power was awesome, but it must also be draining. The man couldn’t keep this up for long, surely. No link to Hell was that vast.
Jake shouted as a scorpion made it onto his trouser leg. Lucas reached out and clicked his fingers, breaking the scorpion’s back. He did the same thing several more times as more arachnids made it inside their defences. Before long, it sounded like he was keeping time to a rapid polka. Click-snap-click-snap-click-snap.
“There are too many of them,” cried Shaun, stamping his foot down and swinging his sword. He had a scorpion hanging off his arm, embedded by its stinger, but he didn’t seem to notice.
Lucas tried to count the remaining critters and lost count at seven-thousand. “You’re right,” he said. “We need to run. You fellas get a head start. I’ll buy you some time.”
“We’ll try not to leave you for dust,” said Jake, grabbing the others and retreating. They made it to the top of the dune, then picked up speed as they careened downhill.
The scorpions tried to give chase, but Lucas opened up a pit in the sand that swallowed them up. He lost focus for a second, and dozens of scorpions skittered up his legs and started stinging him. Their poison was useless against him, but their piercing stinger
s still served as a distraction.
He clapped his hands together and the dune around him exploded, sand leaping up into the air and forming a cyclone. Next, he waved his arms and the cyclone widened and moved away. It sucked up scorpions by the hundreds and tossed them high into the air. There were far too many to catch them all, but he had broken their ranks and left them in straggling groups.
He’d done enough.
With a grunt, Lucas let his warhammer tumble from his hands. It evaporated before it hit the ground. Then he turned and fled, spotting his three companions in the distance. They had made considerable progress, but with his regained power, Lucas slid across the desert with ease and caught up to them in moments.
Simon grunted. “You took care of things?”
Lucas spoke slowly, weakened by all the energy he had just expelled. “Yes, everything is… hunky dory.”
“You okay, man?” asked Jake, looking concerned.
“Yeah, just a tad tuckered out. Don’t fret about me, lad. Come, let’s keep moving.”
Jerusalem lay near now and Lucas concentrated on reducing the distance between them and it, rolling up the desert before them, but his success was marginal. He needed to take some time to rejuvenate. Even The Devil did not possess endless resources.
“How did Judas bring an entire city here?” asked Shaun, marvelling at the high walls and towering domes coming into view.
“It’s not really Jerusalem,” explained Lucas. “It’s a conjuration, something Judas has constructed from memory. He obviously feels it’s home. That will give him power, make it easier for him to… to focus.” He lost his breath, something that shouldn’t have been an issue for a celestial being. He felt odd. Wrong.
Jake grabbed him before he fell down. “What’s wrong with you, man? You don’t look right.”
Simon pointed to Lucas’s arm. More of that black smoke flowed from his flesh, snaking out from his sleeves. This time he wasn’t exuding dark power, he was losing it. “I… I feel weak. Something is…”
Simon grabbed Lucas and started patting him down. To their astonishment, the big man found a scorpion hiding under Lucas’s right sleeve. The critter was hanging on by its stinger which was buried in the space above his elbow. Simon yanked it away and was about to toss it when Lucas shouted at him to halt.
“Give it to me.”
Simon handed Lucas the scorpion. It thrashed and whipped its tail, but the stinger had broken away when it was removed. Lucas examined the squirming creature for a second, then crushed it in his fist. He cursed and threw the husk into the sand where it leaked a dark grey substance. “Iron,” he said, shaking his burning hand. “Feck it!”
“What does that mean?” asked Shaun. “Iron hurts you, like the nail hurt the aswangs?”
“Iron hurts anything not born of the Earth. Hey, Simon, do a fella a favour and remove the nail from my pocket. Last thing I need is that spilling free and burning me a good ‘un. I don’t even know what Jesus’s blood would do to me right now.” Simon reached obligingly into Lucas’s pocket and rooted about for the nail. Lucas wriggled. “Easy there, fella!”
Simon eventually found and retrieved the nail, stuffing it into his own jeans. “Okay, got it.”
“Look after it. It’s important, somehow.”
Simon nodded. They were about to get going again when Lucas stumbled unexpectedly onto his knees. A piercing agony exploded in his chest. Jake had to grab him and hold him upright until the pain subsided.
“What’s happening?” Shaun demanded. He pointed his sword at Lucas, which felt slightly unfair.
Lucas collapsed forward and placed his hands in the sand. “The… the iron. It’s in my veins… corrupting me. It’s making me weak. My powers…”
“Shite on a banana,” said Simon. “We’re screwed all over again then?”
Lucas forced himself back to his feet, although he almost fell again. He reached out a trembling hand. “I’m not toothless yet.”
The others frowned, not knowing what he was doing, and at first, Lucas feared that nothing would happen, but then the sands began to tremble. He fought the pain in his chest and focused on the way ahead. He focused on Jerusalem. He willed a path to take shape. Ahead, to either side of him, the sands began to pile up into towering dunes, leaving a low, compacted pathway between them. A pair of sandy cliffs formed a mile long.
Jake gasped. “Whoa!”
“We don’t have long until I’m too weak to piss,” said Lucas. “So, I thought I’d make the going a little easier. Come on!”
They hurried along, enjoying the solid ground beneath their feet after having endured the shifting sands of the dunes. The sandy cliffs cast shadows over them, keeping them cool from the scorching heat Judas tried to cast down on them. A good thing, because Lucas was too drained to cast a breeze on them anymore.
“Those scorpions are still after us,” said Shaun, looking back nervously. The kaleidoscope of colour was a mile behind them, but gaining.
“Aye,” said Lucas, watching the roiling mass. It was going to be a challenge keeping ahead of the little buggers, and any more of their poison would be the end of him. It took extra impetus to get a move on. “Eyes front, fellas. The unholy land awaits.”
They made it to the high sandstone walls of Jerusalem just as the sun was setting. It wasn’t truly the sun, but it seemed this fake reality liked to obey certain rules. The scorpions were right behind them now, having gained ground over the last thirty-minutes. A cast-iron gate barred their way, and Lucas was certain it was not a feature of the original city. Nothing he could do would affect it. He couldn’t place so much as a fingertip upon it. Another dose of iron would cripple him.
“Is this the only way in?” asked Jake, peering up at the thirty-foot gate.
“No,” said Lucas. “I’m sure Judas built a side entrance for us to use.”
Shaun looked hopeful. “Really?”
“What do you think, ye great sow. This is the way in. This is the way we go.”
“How?” asked Simon. He grabbed the bars and rattled the gate, but it barely moved. “I’m getting fed up of locked doors. The ones in the pub were bad enough.”
Shaun was staring back at the arachnid army fast-approaching. “The scorpions will be here any minute.”
Lucas closed his eyes to think. He wanted a beer, but perhaps he could do without one for now. Surely, he could put a good plan together without getting rat-arsed. He could try the Open Sesame spell again, but with the gate being made of iron, he wasn’t sure it would work. And they wouldn’t have time to try a second spell. The scorpions would be on them any minute, and this time there would be no escape. He could already feel the last of his powers draining, and if another of those little buggers stung him, he would be useless.
“You have an idea, right?” asked Shaun, fidgeting nervously. He tapped his sword against his leg in a quick rhythm.
Lucas tried to think. His powerful mind was his once again, and he was able to rapidly view the entirety of human history as if it were a single moment in time. It told him what was needed. “Stand back lads, I’m about to rock your world.”
Lucas summoned the sands once more, but this time, instead of parting, they came crashing down on top of the scorpions, burying them fifty feet deep. The crushing weight would grind them to dust. Airborne sand struck the four men in the face, making them shield their eyes.
Lucas kept his focus as best he could, willing reality to bend to his command. The sands rolled beneath them, desert piling up against the walls and gate. Jake, Simon, and Shaun panicked, afraid they would get buried, but Lucas ensured their feet stayed above ground. He protected them.
The sand beneath them rose, billions of grains collecting and clumping together. The earth itself lifted them on its back—exalted beings hoisted towards Heaven.
“Is now a good time to say I don’t like heights?” said Simon, looking a little less tough than usual. They were now forty feet in the air, above the gate, and looking down
at the swirling desert below.
“Why didn’t you say so, fella? Allow me to get us down.” Lucas waved his arms, and the sand spilled over the stone walls, dropping them back down towards the city. Several times they almost fell, but Lucas kept them all steady. Simon cried out the entire time, but somehow, he managed to make it sound manly.
Jake and Shaun simply stared, shocked into silence. The desert rebuilt itself within the city walls, depositing them safely on the ground. There, they waited for several minutes until the world settled. Only then did they allow themselves to take a step into the city. Lucas, however, remained where he was.
Jake looked at him. “You coming, man?”
“Yeah, just give me a… a minute.” He sat down on the ground, worried he would fall otherwise. The world around him was blurry, and more black smoke trailed from his flesh. He feared he might not be able to go on. He was not regenerating quickly enough—if at all. “I… I just need to rest.”
“Don’t think that’s going to be an option,” said Simon. “Judas must know we’re here. We’re sitting ducks.”
Jake was looking around in awe. “So, this is really Jerusalem? Jesus was born here?”
“Jesus was born in Bethlehem,” Lucas muttered. “Eejit!”
Simon nudged Shaun. “Come on, let’s give him a hand.” They got Lucas under the arms, and together they were able to get him back on his feet. He shuddered with weakness. “Just one step at a time,” Simon told him. “We can still finish this.”
“Aye, but no more cabaret from me, I’m afraid. I’m all tapped out.”
“We’ll find another way,” said Simon. “At least now we have a chance of facing Judas. We’ll get Vetta back, together.”
“And out of here in one piece,” said Shaun. “That’s a priority too, right?”
Lucas nodded, out of breath. “Aye.”
A replica of Jerusalem lay before them, modelled in exquisite detail. Every brick, tile, and wooden beam was immaculate. The market awnings fluttered in the wind, wares displayed beneath them. Spires and domes cast shadows in a thousand directions.
Blood on the Bar Page 17
