by Lauren Wood
Sticks smiled from behind his drum kit. “What it is, D.”
Barry said, “You look good, Dana, you look ... relaxed ... relieved.” Eric was slumped on his stool, bass in his lap as usual. But there was something new in his gaze, something festering, sneering, angry.
“Well, it’s nice to get a little break,” I said, and that was true. “I’ve never taken the cruise as a passenger before.”
“Is that what you are now,” Barry asked, “a passenger?”
I was getting impatient with their insinuations, as much as I was with my father’s demands and Caroline’s scheming. “I’m just taking a little time away from singing to take care of this one passenger.”
Barry and Sticks looked at each other as if they were trying to keep from breaking out in laughter, the other band members staying as far away from the conversation as possible. A few of the horn players glanced at Eric and then at me, shaking their heads and muttering to one another things I couldn’t hear and really didn’t want to.
I knew why Eric was mad, and I knew what the others were snickering at, and I suppose taking care of was a poor choice of words. “Anyway, I thought we night do that song tonight, When You Wish Upon a Star.”
“We?”
“Yes, Barry, we. Look, you guys ... all of you ... this has been a strange couple of days, and we’re not even in Bermuda. So if we’re going to get through it together, we really have to resist the temptation to do a lot of gossiping and snickering.” Silence was their only response, but I could tell I hadn’t quite made my point. Or maybe I was just feeling strong, stronger than I had ever felt before, more an adult, more confident and in control, more experienced, more than just the captain’s daughter. I was a woman, and one they would have to contend with. “I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next week, you guys, none of us do. But for now I think the only thing worth assuming is that they’re going to walk off this ship and leave us all here together, as we were before. I suggest we all think about that before anybody draw any lines.”
I left them with that, their stunned silence was my only echo.
I met Hutch and Blu out by the pool. Blu had become enamored with the water park area, those long and winding tubes sending her rocketing in every direction, over and over again.
I sat with Hutch as he watched her, a lemonade on the little round poolside table. He was wearing a new pair of trunks and nothing else, a towel draped over the chair behind him. His naked torso brought back memories of the night before, the sweet taste of his skin in my mouth, his gentle but certain touch, my quivering curves. My body followed where my mind wandered, juices already stirring inside me, my legs crossing and pressing together with just a little extra pressure.
It was all I could do to keep from throwing myself on him once again, a thought that kept flashing back to me, that I might unleash myself on him the way he did on me. He’d set me free, and now I wanted to rage like an uncaged animal. I’d had a taste of blood, and I wanted more ... a lot more.
And I could tell he felt the same way. He looked at me with a calm quiet, sitting back in his chair, hips siding forward almost imperceptibly. His eyes locked on mine, but only so I could see them wander hungrily over my breasts, my lean body, my long legs that he adored, nearly worshipped the night before.
But we both knew there was time enough for our mutual satisfaction, and that waiting was an even more delicious sensation. The suspense may have been terrible, and we both wanted to enjoy it.
Blu splashed into the pool from the bottom of the yellow pipe before swimming quickly to the edge, climbing up out of the water, and running to the ladder to make it back to the top as quickly as possible.
“She’s really precious,” I said.
Hutch’s gentle smile was the only answer he needed to give, though to hear him say, “She’s the reason for everything,” made my heart tingle, and not just my heart. I couldn’t help imagining our own kids, another daughter and maybe a son or even more than one. The boys would favor him, with dark hair, but I knew my daughter would look just like me.
I shook it off. Don’t get ahead of yourself, my inner skeptic warned me, what you said to the band was true, you better believe it yourself!
It was easier to think about Blu. “She seems a bit more comfortable,” I said. “I’m sure taking this trip was a good idea, help her come out of her shell.”
“I hope so. She does seem to be making a bit of progress. Tell you the truth, I’m not sure that doesn’t have something to do with you.”
“Me? No, Hutch, I’m just a ... a glorified tour-guide, as far as she’s concerned anyway.”
“No, Dana, no, you’re more than that to both of us. I don’t just sleep with any woman that comes along, you should know that about me. And Blu, she doesn’t take to most people the way she takes to you. And you’ve earned it ... her trust, my affection, everything the world has in store for you , you’ve earned it, Dana. I want you to know that. Nobody’s given you anything, you’ve worked for it all.”
I smiled but had to turn away. “I’m the captain’s daughter, Hutch. You can’t find a position of more privilege, at least not onboard.”
“And that’s a position which would be abused by any lesser woman. But you’ve remained stalwart, towing the line -- ”
“Until last night -- ”
“No. Last night was different, last night was special. You upheld your responsibility to your father, and I know how seriously you took that, how seriously you both took it. You’re good people, a good family. I can only hope that, when Blu’s grown up, that we’ll have as good a relationship as you two.” I was flattered, my blood running warm and smooth in my veins. But I couldn’t just confirm that it was all that easy or that simple. And he seemed to know that, adding, “And I would hope we’d be strong enough to let each other go when the time was right.”
Hutch nailed it, as always, but I just didn’t know how to answer him. I did want to be with him, even though it had only been a few days. I was in love with him and wanted to be his wife. I wanted to give Blu back everything she’d lost, everything that had been so cruelly taken away from her. And I knew I was looking for something I’d lost too, several things, probably, even if I still wasn’t sure what those things were.
I looked back up at Blu, a little girl so like myself in so many ways; sheltered, isolated, struggling just for some sense of normalcy, some way to heal the pain, not just cover it up. I thought about my singing career, how happy and fulfilled I generally was on stage, and I looked forward to singing for Hutch later, perhaps many times over the years. But I also knew then that my time on stage was quite a bit like Blu’s time in the water tubes. It was fun, a rush and a thrill, but it wasn’t real life, it was only a respite, a place to hide. It helped, but there were more important things in life, things without which none of us would ever be happy, or perhaps even survive.
I noticed my friend, bartender Hector Gonzales, standing on the other side of the deck, directly behind Hutch where he couldn’t be seen. He jutted his head to the side, like he was ushering me into the hall. Once he caught my eye, he did it again and turned to step into the hall himself. I said to Hutch, “I think I’ve got some shipboard business, Hutch. Excuse me?”
“Of course. Afterward, if time allows, put on a suit and join us.”
I looked up. “I thought we might take the SkyRide together.”
Hutch looked up, squinting in the sunlight, then back at me with a smile. “I’d love another ride.” We shared a smile and I crossed the deck to join Hector.
Once in the relative dark of the hall, I walked a few yards, glancing around. “Hector? Hector?”
“Dana,” he whispered, waving me further down the hall. We walked down another perpendicular hall and walked while we talked, one of several ship’s bars not far from the end of the hall. “I took a little break, wanted to talk.”
“Okay.”
“I shouldn’t even have left my post, Caroline’ll have me fi
red if she sees. But I couldn’t just wait to see if you’d stop by, I didn’t mean to intrude.”
The more he ramped up to it, the more nervous I got. I knew it could be any number of things and, judging by Hector’s air and tone, I didn’t think it was going to be good news. But I pressed a cheerful tone when I said, “It’s fine, Hector. What’s up?”
“I had a dream, Dana, a terrible dream -- ”
“Oh Hector -- ”
“I know, I know you don’t believe in them, but this one is real!”
“Hector, you’ve dreamt we were going to sink twice ... on the same trip!”
“And we almost did,” he said, his accent becoming more pronounced as he talked. “My grandmother used to get them and they always came true. I am just trying to warn you.”
“About what, Hector, what’s going to happen? What did you dream?”
“I dreamed that you got killed, Dana.”
“What? Killed? How? By who?”
“I couldn’t see exactly, but there was a man there, the man who came aboard our ship.”
“Hutch, you’re talking about Hutch?”
“Yes, he was there.”
“He was there where, Hector? What did you see exactly in this dream?”
He looked around, holding his hands out to calm me as we approached the end of the hall. “I can’t say for sure, but I remember seeing you lying down, on the deck or on the ground, and that man was standing over you, and everyone was gathered around, looking really sad. They all knew you were dead, Dana.”
My blood ran cold. But I didn’t give much credence to Hector’s dream-whispering before, so the news didn’t exactly rock me to my core. “Was my father there?”
“I don’t think so,” Hector said. “I don’t know where it was, just that there were other people -- ”
“Crew members, passengers, locals?”
“I can’t say, like it was a combination of all three.” I sighed as we opened the hallway door and stepped into one area of the mall where Hector’s post awaited him. “So you have to be really careful, Dana, okay?”
I couldn’t resist asking, “Are these dreams like ... warnings? Or are they more like premonitions? Because if there’s nothing I can do about it -- ”
“I don’t know, Dana. All I know is that my grandmother’s dreams came true. Maybe if you’re careful, my dreams won’t, that’s all.”
“What am I supposed to do, Hector, lock myself in my cabin until we get back to Miami? I’ve got ... other things going on.”
He looked at me with a sad, frank expression as we reached the bar and he stepped around back. “I know, Dana ... I know.”
Chapter 13
Dana
I tried not to think about Hector’s warning, and frankly it wasn’t too difficult. It’s true, it wasn’t everyday that somebody came up to me and told me I was going to die, but it was only a dream, after all. And Hector tended to be superstitious about that sort of thing. Still, he seemed pretty convinced, and at twenty-one years old and having spent the last ten years on a floating vacation resort, I couldn’t claim to know very much about the world. Thought I did know a bit more than I had before Hutch came aboard Oceania, and I felt like it was informing my every step, my every turn. My body was even then still ringing with the memory of his touch, the thrill of his nearness, the violent surge of my orgasm. I had to force myself not to think about it, at least for as long as I could manage. I had other things to worry about.
I didn’t like the way the band had treated me, Eric and Barry and Sticks especially. I knew Eric was jealous, that he felt rejected. He’d longed for me from afar for a few years, and our only real disconnection was my chastity and his shyness. Now I’d given up one, while he still had to wrestle with the other. I thought about how I might help him, reassure him, give him the confidence to go out and mingle with the passengers. There were a few eligible girls in the crew and I’d be happy to do what I could for him. But I wasn’t going to be sympathetic to some lonely heart who was pining away for me when that just wasn’t going to happen. He and I both knew I didn’t sleep around and, if I did, it wouldn’t be with anybody in the band.
But the rest of them had other concerns about me. I understood that they were a bit upset that I wasn’t towing the line the way I usually was. But they had to see that this was a special circumstance, one that was simply beyond my control. Sure, things seemed to be going well for me at that time, and I couldn’t argue that they were, but that wasn’t because I’d arranged them that way or tricked anyone. And they could change at any time, something else that coiled in the back of my brain like a snake ready to strike. But I put that out of my brain too as I looked at myself in my cabin mirror. I looked good, I had to admit. A spangly dress clung to me, accentuating my curves, sparks of silver and shades of purple and light blue jumped from my tiny waist, my round breasts, making me feel sexy, gaudy, tantalizing. And there was only one person I wanted to tantalize.
I was already on the stage when he walked in, dapper in his black suit, one brow cocked. I knew at once that Blu had chosen to stay in for the night. And I knew what progress that was, what it meant to her and to us that she would remain calmly behind while Hutch came out to play. It meant she felt safer, that she trusted me and him and herself, it meant that she trusted the three of us, that she wanted us to have some time to ourselves the way she’d had some time with Hutch to themselves. She was maturing even by the day, and I knew I had something to do with that, something positive. I knew Hutch could see that, and I knew it was turning him on as much as it was me.
He stepped up to the stage while the band swelled behind me, a row of horns offsetting the rhythm section. I’d led this band through swing, big band, rhythm & blues, rock & roll, all manner of music. But we’d never played this song before. I’d never sung it before, not even in rehearsal. But I’d never lived it before either.
“When you wish upon a star,” I sang, the long and languid melody embedded in my memory. “Makes no difference who you are.” I held that last note long, giving it a delicate vibrato on the back of my tongue. It was a lovely melody and a beautiful and I understood immediately its timeless and dauntless appeal. I looked into Hutch’s eyes and he back into mine from the front of the stage, and it was if the song had been written just for him, just for me, just for that moment. “Anything your heart desires will come ... to ... you ... ”
He stepped up onto the stage and I stood looking into his eyes, already tearing up from the sweet sentiment of the tune. Then he sang, in a tenor so supple and stunning that I was left breathless. “When your heart is in your dreams, no request is to extreme ... ” He stretched out the note to an exquisite pause, the band waiting as that single, gorgeous pitch hovered above us all.
I joined him on the last line, finding a natural harmony that couldn’t have been better or bettered, a perfect meeting of mind and moment, heart and soul. “When you wish upon a star as dreamers do.”
Hutch stepped down from the stage and turned to extend his hand. I took it and he led me to the empty dance floor. Lights sparkled from the disco all above, a star scape streaming across the polished wooden floor. He led me in a ballroom waltz, spinning around that dance floor, the music swelling and swirling around us. I’d never danced like that before, but I knew instantly that I was once again in the hands of a master. He spun and the world twirled around me, the starry lights and the music and the motion had my heart pounding, lungs strong and ready. I never felt stronger than when I was in Hutch’s arms, as if his personal power was filling me, elevating me somehow toward his level. I was a princess in my own ballroom, private orchestra playing, a prince more charming than any other taking me in his arms, into his heart, into his life. Hutch was a man who would be king, and I felt like his queen.
No, don’t even dare to dream of such a thing, I told myself, even in that sweet second. Don’t get carried away! But that was as far as my skeptical self would get. There was too much magic in that room for skepti
cism, for hurt or pain or anything other than me and Hutch, that music, those lights, our love, all things becoming one in our heated waltz, blending the elements into a single, heady brew that went straight to my head and then all the way down.
The band seemed to sense that, because they broke from the venerable ballad into a spicy, salsa rhythm. The whole room took on a wildly different tone. Sticks hit a mad pattern on the cymbals and snare drum rim, pushing the seductive rhythm forward with the support of the steady bass guitar. Horns pulsed out a cushion while the trumpet screamed in an impassioned wail, as if it had come out of my own body.
Hutch changed his dancing technique, but it was a seamless transition, and he was as fast and loose with his salsa technique as he had been with the waltz. He seemed to be a master of everything, and each new skill only drove my admiration and my desire to knew and delirious heights.
He led me back and forth in a sensuous pace, hips very close, my leg passing between his as we dominated the floor, our eyes locked, his strong arm around the small of my back. That sexy latin music pushed up from the wooden floorboards as they seemed to vibrate with the irresistible thump of the bass drum, the crack of the snare. The piano chords pumped the harmonies into my legs, the musical combination swirling in my loins, heart beating in perfect sync. Hutch moved with amazing grace and style, effortless despite his size, an athlete and a dancer. Our hips ground together as the music got louder and my breath became shorter, my hands trembling with their fainting resistance to the temptation to tear his shirt off and bite right into his muscular chest.
Hutch threw me out, body spinning, my right hand still in his. When both our arms were outstretched I stopped and we both froze to face each other. He pulled me back in, spinning in the other direction to roll into his sexy grasp. I landed in his chest, face to face with him, our eyes locked on each other’s lips.
His heels clacked against the dance floor, feeding the rhythm as much as being fueled by it. He pulled me close and we stuck two arms out in an improvised tango. Just on cue, Hutch turned and dipped me, my blonde hair falling back as I dipped further and further back, never doubting the security of his powerful grip.
