Be My Sailor: A Single Dad and Virgin Romance

by Lauren Wood

  How like our life all of this is, I had to reflect. A luxury cruise ship, room after room, empty. It’s meant for a party, for a whole traveling community, not this echoing silence. When we get back home, we have to fill our lives back up; with friends, with family, with love. Blu’s going back to school whether she likes it or not, and Dana will be right there to help her ... and me ... through it. Everything’s going to be different now, everything’ll be all right ... if we can just find Blu!

  Never should have left her with that redheaded cow, I scolded myself. That harpy shrew is either scheming or screwing up! But I should have known better. I’ve seen a parade of women like that, and they’re all the same. Not Dana though, she’s not one of them. Wrong to bring her back with me? It’s practically necessary!

  But what about her? Is it what Dana really wants? Will she really settle down for the first man she’s ever been with? Maybe her old man is right, maybe she’s just carried away by all this. Who wouldn’t be? I keep forgetting how rich I am, how long I’ve been this rich, how little joy all this money can really bring. To a girl like Dana, it must be overwhelming.

  But I know Dana isn’t in it for the money, I don’t have any doubt about that. She’s just not that impressed with it, and that’s part of what impresses me most. She sees through that, and she can see through me. I know she’s impressed with me, everything I’ve taught her and unleashed in her. But other men will come along, younger and better-looking, with just as much money and charm. Those things are fleeting and base, replaceable. And she’s smart enough to know that.

  But I had to shake it off. That may be true, Dana’s smart enough to know, but too decent to care. If I can just find Blu and all these other people will just back off and leave us alone, I know we’ll be okay!

  But as the cabins trailed off and I lost track of which ones I’d unlocked, my heart started to beat faster and my mind wandering even farther, down darker roads.

  I can’t lose her, I heard my own voice say, chiming in the back of my brain. I can’t lose them both. I failed before, unable to stop those bastards ... or even to find them! All this money, all this power, every resource, I couldn’t track down two or three guttersnipe bastard rapist murderers! I won’t let that happen again, not again, not to Blu!

  I shook my head, moving faster through that litany of locked doors, each one its own refusal, each one a rejection of my best efforts, each one a sign of my ultimate failure.

  That damn money, I couldn’t help but think. It doesn’t protect us, it makes us vulnerable! If somebody grabbed Blu it could only be for a ransom! What’s it all for, the money and the privilege? Without the ones you love, without family, it’s all just a pile of shit! I’d swap every dime, every penny ... then strangle to death the worthless bastards who would even think to do such a thing.

  I tried to tell myself it was a foolish fancy, that such a thing really couldn’t happen, and that it wouldn’t happen, not to us. But I knew better, from painful experience, and I didn’t think I would survive another lesson in that terrible truth.

  Because there were other reasons Blu might have been snatched, and they nothing to do with greed or money, but with hungers of another sort. I couldn’t bear to think of it and I pushed on, toward Blu or toward madness.

  Chapter 24

  Dana

  I walked out onto the deck where the WaterWorks were. I called Blu’s name and looked around, no answer coming from the tubes, the pool I wondered, Could she be inside one of the tubes? No, she wouldn’t have had time to change into a bathing suit, would she? Why would she be hiding in one of the tubes anyway?

  But a sharp shrill scream shot through my brain, my body, my soul, and all question about where Blu went to was replaced with an even more dire question.

  I looked up to see Blu sitting on one of the SkyRide bikes on the wide, white circular track above the deck. She screamed again, and I could already see that the safety straps were dangling from the side of the red SkyBike. I called out, “Blu, hold on!”

  She cried, “Help me, I’m scared!” I almost passed out from the sheer pressure of the moment, the thought of that sweet little girl falling to her death on the hard deck two hundred feet beneath.

  I pulled out my phone as I scrambled to the stairwell that circled the base of the SkyRide track, making painfully slow progress toward the SkyRide platform.

  Hutch picked up the phone on the first ring. “Dana, tell me you found her.”

  “I did, Hutch.”

  “Thank Christ! Is she all right?”

  “Um, I don’t want you to freak out, Hutch, but she’s on one of the SkyRide bikes, but it doesn’t look like she’s strapped in.”

  “What? Why? What the hell is going on with this damned ship?”

  “I’m almost to the top of the platform now, Hutch, that’s all I can tell you. Where are you now?”

  “In the mall by the Imax.”

  “Okay, that’s just a few minutes away. Hurry up, and tell the first person you see that we need the net, out by the WaterWorks.”

  “The net?”

  “Yes, the net, Hutch! Go, hurry!” I swiped the screen, pocketed the phone, and finally made it to the top of that spiral staircase and reaching the platform.

  I checked the safety return, which would bring the bike backward to the platform. But without being strapped in, the sudden movement backward would easily throw Blu off the bike and to her death. I called her name, the poor little creature locked on the bike, her little arms rigid, hands locked on the handlebars, eyes fixed on the deck below.

  “Dana, help me! Help me!”

  “Okay, Blu, take it easy, okay? Take it real easy and we’re going to get you down from there. Okay?”

  “No, I’m gonna fall, I’m gonna fall!”

  “No, Blu,” I urged her, “You’re not gonna fall, you hear me? You’re not gonna fall! I won’t let you fall, Blu! I promise that.”

  “You can’t promise! Something bad always happens, it always does!”

  “Not this time, Blu,” I cried out, “not this time!”

  I looked around, not finding much in the way of a manner to save Blu. There was a safety harness in the little cabinet under the safety crank, with a long, steel cable coiled up, a metal clip on each end. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to use it, but I took it out and started to put it on anyway.

  Blu cried out, “Help! Help me!”

  “Help is on the way, Blu, your Dad’s coming, they’re bringing a net, you’re gonna be fine. Just keep talking to me, okay? Don’t look down and keep talking to me. Okay, Blu, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said, her voice shaky, quivering with terror.

  “Okay, so, um, can you tell me why you’re out there, Blu? Is it because I’m coming home with you and your dad?”

  “Um ... I dunno ... kind of ... ”

  “Okay, that’s all right, Blu, that’s all right.”

  “I’m really scared, Dana!”

  “I know, Blu, it’s okay, it’s okay to be scared. To tell you the truth, I’m a little scared too.” I clipped the safety harness closed around my torso, strapped digging into my shoulders and ribs. I was a lot more than a little scared. “But Blu, we’ll be scared together, is that okay? I’ll be scared with you, and maybe it won’t be so bad. Is that a good idea?”

  “Okay,” Blu managed to say.

  “Okay, Blu, okay.” I glanced over the side of the platform, crew members gathering to peer up at us, but none of them produced the rescue fireman’s net which the ship carried for emergencies like this one. “So, why did you get on the SkyRide, Blu? Are you upset, is there something I did or said? Whatever it is, I didn’t mean it, Blu. We can talk it out.”

  My smart phone rang and pulled it out, swiping the screen without even bothering to check. “Yeah, what?”

  “It’s Hector, we can’t find the net, Dana!”

  I wanted to scream at him, but I new that might spook Blu to a tragic slip. So I took a deep breath and said, “Keep
looking, check the janitor’s closet on the lower floor, and hurry!”

  I clipped one end of the steel cable to the back of the harness and glanced around for the safety clip mount I knew I’d find. When I did, my palms went slick with sweat. That terrible, cold click made me nauseous, knowing what I would soon have to do.

  Images of Hector’s dream returned to the back of my mind, my body lying lifeless on the deck, Hutch standing beside me. I looked down from that dizzying height, knowing neither Blu nor I would survive that fall. But I didn’t have a choice. Blu’s little hands were going to tire fast, fear would get the better of her eventually. And it would’t be long.

  “We were talking, Blu, remember? I want you to keep talking to me, okay? Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, good, Blu, very good.” I could hear the fear in my own voice, almost as thick as in Blu’s. But I knew I had to set a better example and I tried my damnedest to sound calm, relaxed, in control; the way I imagined Hutch would be if he were there. “So tell me why you’re out there, Blu? Why did you run away from Caroline?”

  “I’m sorry,” Blu said, her voice like tissue paper in the wind. “I didn’t mean to. I wanted to show you that I wasn’t afraid! I don’t want to be afraid anymore, Dana. I don’t!”

  “Okay, Blu, you don’t have to be. Look where you are, that’s not being afraid.”

  “But I am afraid, I’m so afraid!” She was near to a sob, and I was afraid the more she thought about it, the more her fear would overcome her.

  I walked out and straddled the wide, metal track, cold and hard and round beneath me. That crazy elevation opened up beneath me as I pushed myself out just a few inches, my head already dizzy with a sudden and almost debilitating fear of heights.

  No, I told myself, I’m not going to blow this, there’s too much at stake. There’s nothing to fear but fear itself, now more than ever!

  “It’s okay to be a little afraid,” I said, edging my way closer, the bike approaching slowly. I tried not to think about the distance yawning beneath me. I was strapped in, the cable would hold me. But it would startle Blu for sure, almost certain to send her twisting and panicking and falling to her death. But to know how much empty space there was beneath me, it was dizzying, nauseating. The fact that Blu hadn’t panicked and fallen by that time amazed me. I only hoped she lived long enough for me to tell her.

  I could sense Hutch arriving at the platform behind me. I turned and glanced back to see him, face drained of blood, terror in his eyes. I tried to smile, offering him a little wave. But having only one hand on the track caused me to lose my balance, but I quickly secured myself to edge myself further toward Blu.

  A heavy wind pushed me from the side, ocean breezes that were much stronger the higher up you went. I wasn’t prepared for that, and my body became rigid on that track, legs clamping down to hold me perched on that round, metal track.

  I edged out further, the bike only a few feet in front of me. “How are you doing up there, Blu?”

  “Still scared,” she said. “It’s windy, Dana, it’s too windy! I’m gonna fall!”

  “You’re not gonna fall, Blu, not if you just hold on! I’m just a few feet behind you, Blu. So just keep holding on, just for a while longer.”

  “‘Kay, okay,” she sputtered out, but I knew she was nearing the end of her reserves, mental and physical.

  I arrived at the back of the bike, but I was straddling the track, and to get to Blu I had to stand up and climb onto the SkyBike to take a seat behind Blu. I tried to push myself up, my feet finding purchase on the side of the tracks, but a gust of wind nearly pushed me off the track and my body shuddered, legs bringing me quickly back down to the track.

  “Hurry,” Blu cried out, “I’m gonna fall!”

  “No you’re not, Blu! You hear me? Say it! Say it!”

  “I’m not gonna fall.”

  “Good, Blu. You just hold on, I’m right behind you.” I pushed up against the track, the wind pushing against me with surprising strength, almost a vengeance. My legs tensed, muscles flexing to keep me almost balanced as my hands found the back of the bike and I slowly crawled onto it from behind.

  But this jostled the bike just a bit, enough combined with the wind to throw little Blu to her demise. “Hold on, Blu, that’s just me, it’s just me.”

  “No, don’t,” Blu screamed, “we’ll fall, we’ll both fall!”

  “No, Blu, you hold on, damnit! You hold on!” The wind blew again, the bike jostling, Blu screaming, my sweating palms slick and slipping against the fiberglass of the track-bound SkyBike. Blu screamed and was ready to fall from the bike, but I reached out and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her tight, close to me. “Okay, Blu, okay, hold on! I got you, Blu, I got you! You’re safe now, Blu.”

  “Okay, okay, okay, okay -- ” But Blu was near to shock, jabbering and incoherent.

  “Blu, listen to me. I want to hear you say it. Say that you’re safe now.”

  “I ... I ... ”

  “Say it, Blu!”

  “I’m safe now,” she finally managed to say, “I’m safe now.”

  “I’m not gonna let you fall, Blu.”

  “Okay, okay ... ”

  “Say it, Blu.”

  “You’re not gonna let me fall.”

  “That’s right, Blu, that’s right. I’ve got you, and I’m never gonna let you go, okay?”

  “Never,” Blu said.

  “That’s right,” I repeated, knowing the true complexity of that promise, an oath and a lie, but we both knew it and accepted it for what it was; a part of life. But so was death, and we both knew that too; all too well.

  By this time a huge crowd had gathered beneath us, still no sign of the fireman’s net. But my father was on the platform behind me, standing with Hutch and several others, among them the kid that usually runs the ride. He hit the switch and the bike started rolling backward under emergency power, bringing us back toward the platform.

  But the bike caught on the track just as a bad gust hit us from the starboard side. Blu screamed, I grabbed hold of her lithe little waist, and the two of us went toppling over the side of the SkyBike.

  Chapter 25

  Dana

  We swung down hard, that gaping maw opening up beneath us. The pressure pulling against us was stronger than I expected, Blu suddenly heavy in my grip. Her back was to me, her arms reaching out to empty space, legs idle, nothing she could do to cling to me or to help herself if she slipped out of my grip.

  We swung past the center post of the SkyRide track, G-forces threatening to pull Blu out of my arms. I could feel her little body sliding just a bit, and her terrified scream told me that she could feel it too. I tried to call out to reassure her, but the pressure of the swing and my efforts to hold onto her left me no strength to speak. All my focus was on holding onto that poor little girl as we stopped swinging in one direction, paused, then started to swing again in the other direction. Each arc was a treacherous trip that could end on the deck, and my arms were strained, hurting, fingers digging into Blu’s waist to keep her close.

  I put out my legs to catch the center post of the track, wide and white and metal, feet smacking it at an odd angle and sending us spinning on that cable.

  “I got you, Blu,” I screamed out, barely cutting through her horrified screams. “I got you!” We kept spinning, that white post seeming to twirl around us. I let us swing toward it again, my legs banging against the side of the post to stop us from spinning just as the swinging was winding down. Blu was crying in my arms, and I wanted to join her.

  “Hold on,” Hutch said from the platform above us, “hold tight and we’ll pull you up!” I nodded and clung to Blu with every last ounce of my strength. They started pulling, Hutch and my father and whomever else was up there. But the rescue came with a series of yanks, each of which made Blu slip just a little bit more from my arms. They pulled us up inch by inch, but every bit of progress cost us even more of Blu’s security. The dec
k got even further away beneath us, and though we were getting closer and closer to the platform, my arms and my hands were telling me that they were delivering Blu straight to an early grave.

  No, I told myself, I won’t let that happen. We’ve all come to far, we’re all too close to what we want, what we need, what we deserve! Especially little Blu, she won’t die here, not now! I won’t let that happen!

  We were just a few feet from the platform, each yank causing Blu to slip a little further. I tried to get a better grip on her, removing my hand to replace it lower on her torso, but the gust of wind was perfectly timed to make that a tragic mistake.

  Blu finally succumbed to gravity and fell out of my arms, taking every bit of breath from my lungs along with her. I looked down to see Blu turn, her eyes locked on mine, alight with terror. She reached up and out in one last desperate attempt to save herself.

  My arm snapped out as if from pure instinct, the moment too fast for my brain to track. Our hands locked, mine locking around Blu’s right down to her wrist. She slipped a bit, very nearly slipping away. Both my hands locked around hers. With both hands clinging to her arm, I had a strong enough grip to hold her for those last few feet. My father’s hands reached out to pull me in while Hutch reached over me to grab Blu and pull her up and into his grateful, loving arms.

  I was flush with relief to feel the steady, flat platform under me. Blu cried, wailing as Hutch held her close, eyes closed, relishing the moment of their unlikely reunion.

  My father pulled me close too, the last embrace of an era which had passed between us. We held each other close, but after a long and tender moment, we both realized that we had to let each other go. I looked up at him and he down at me, a silent nod all the blessing he needed to express. I looked at Hutch and Blu and they at me. I fell into their embrace, the three of us clinging to one another, a new family, forged in the fires of conflict and made stronger by it, bound together by risk and courage and love.