by Lauren Wood
I really looked at him then and I wondered if he even knew how to dance. Men like him were not usually so fleet of foot and he didn’t look to be any different. I could see a tattoo that was barely covered with his shirt, going up his neck. What would possess someone to do that?
“I don’t think so.”
“You think you are too good for me?”
There was a bit of anger in his question and it had me turning back around. “No, but we are from two very different worlds, David. And I don’t know the language.”
He stopped me with a hand on my arm and I pulled away. I didn’t know who he thought he was, but I wasn’t going to let him manhandle me in such a way. It wasn’t going to happen the way he wanted it to. That was why I didn’t have much to do with guys like this. They were worried about one thing and would go out of their way to get it. It wasn’t hard to see what David wanted. It was something that I wasn’t willing to give.
“It’s just one dance. Are you really that stuck up that you won’t have one dance with me? Am I not good enough?”
He had a whine to his voice, but I think we both knew that it wasn’t real. He could think I was stuck up all he wanted, that wasn’t going to change my position. I didn’t do well with being forced to do anything and I moved away.
“Please just one dance.”
“Have you been hitting the bottle already today?”
He shook his head that he had been. “I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”
“I am just trying to figure out if this is how you normally act or not.”
“You are a feisty one, aren’t you?”
I didn’t like being called that, especially not from a man like him. In his world, that was most likely a compliment, but in my world it was just rude.
“I am good on the dance, thank you though.”
“So, is it because you are afraid you won’t be able to resist me?”
I shook my head and had to smile. If nothing else, he was sure of himself. It was the kind of confidence that drew women in because they would think that he had to be good in bed to be that cocky. I wasn’t looking for that, so it didn’t draw me in at all. He was hot, but once he started talking that ruined it for me. If only I could enjoy him without the chauvinistic words coming out of his mouth.
“I don’t think it would be hard at all to resist you David. I just don’t want to dance with you.”
“Please?”
I don’t know what it was about the way he asked me, but I couldn’t say no. He somehow said it in a way that pulled at my heart strings and by the grin on his face, I was sure that he knew exactly what it was that he was doing. David’s face brightened and the wattage went up on his smile when I finally agreed. A person might have thought that he had won the lottery by the way he was cheesing. It was hard for me to not be a little caught up in it and smile back at his excitement.
“Just one dance.” I reminded him that it wasn’t going to be nothing more than just a dance.
He held his hands up like he would go with whatever I wanted. I couldn’t help the gasp that came out of my mouth when he pulled me into his arms. We were close enough to the dance floor that it seemed acceptable to dance right there. It wouldn’t have mattered anyways. I was pulled tight against his hard body and the feeling felt too good for me to pull away from him. There was no way that I could have focused on anything else but him against me.
His smell took over my senses and I found myself relaxed, yet tense all at the same time. How had he known that he would have such an effect on me? He had been so confident and while I knew there was a reason for it, it was still hard to realize how easily I had been talked into it. He had been right and though I wasn’t afraid of how I would react to him, I was more than a little nervous about it now. Now that I was in his arms, it was hard to think anything bad about him.
The song was over before I was done and I longed for his heat against me as soon as it was gone. It was like this was how it was supposed to be. This was how it was supposed to feel.
“Now was that so bad?”
I shook my head that it wasn’t and tried to ignore the canary-eating smile that he was giving me. I could have sworn that he knew that he had gotten to me. He knew that I was going to think about the two of us together the rest of the evening. When I had come to Cameron’s wedding, I was not expecting it to be like this. I was sad then that a rough guy like David had moved away. I didn’t have the same feelings for him then as I had before.
“You want to get a drink or do you want to just go somewhere to be alone?”
“What kind of girl do you think I am David? I don’t even know you.”
He just kind of grinned and told me that he was sure that I would get to know him soon enough.
“I’m not that drunk.”
David didn’t seem to care and told me that that could be changed as well. The man had a confidence that I wondered about. What was it about him that made him so sure of himself? And why was I falling into the trap?
“One drink.”
“That is all I need.”
I almost told him never mind because of how assured he was being, but I didn’t. I wanted to see what it was that made David smile in such a way. Why was he so sure that he was what I needed, when I didn’t even know myself?
“All you need for what?”
“To convince you.”
I was already convinced and I knew that it was because of the way my body responded. I could have blamed it on the drinks, but there wasn’t enough to justify that. I could have blamed it on the fact that I was at my best friend’s wedding and there was bound to be emotions cropping up that I wanted to silence. It wasn’t any of those reasons. I wanted him because I knew that he was going to make me feel better, even if only for a moment.
“What if I am already convinced?”
His eyes darkened and the smile on his face grew. “Then what are we doing wasting our time here?”
Looking down, the intensity of his eyes was too much to handle. “Do you have somewhere in mind?”
“Right here if that is the only place.” David started looking for a way out and I was looking for a reason to stay.
“Come on. Let’s go upstairs where we will have some privacy.”
His hand outstretched and before I knew what I was doing, I was placing my hand in his. I needed a few moments of madness and David was the one to give it to me.
Chapter 2
David
“I can’t believe you even remember her. What is wrong with you?”
I couldn’t believe it either. I don’t know why that woman was on my mind so much, but it was impossible to say that she wasn’t or to pretend that I didn’t think about her every time I was with someone else. It was not an easy thing to have going on in my brain and I started to wonder if this was the beginning of insanity.
“Don’t you think that if I knew what it was that was wrong with me, that I would change it? I am sick of talking about her, thinking about her. Every night almost, I wake up in the middle of it, dreaming about her. It is always the same.”
Craig just kind of looked at me like maybe I had lost it. It wouldn’t be the first time that I had wondered the same thing. Maybe I was going over the deep end and I just didn’t even know it yet. Was this the deep end? It didn’t feel like it was normal and it hadn’t mattered how many women I had underneath me, it was Carol’s face that I hoped to see when I looked down. It never is though and the frustration of not having what I want had set me on edge.
“Man you got it bad. It has been six months. It is time for you to get it together. I know that this girl got in your head, but everyone is worried about you. I am worried about you.”
“Are you getting soft on me Craig?”
“No, but I don’t know what to do with you. It seems like everyone in the gang is losing their mind and now you. I didn’t think you would ever be like this, yet here you are.”
Here I was. I didn’t know where
I was, but I did know that it was getting to be too much. What was it about her that had driven me to this? I didn’t think I would ever know.
“It isn’t that bad. I think I just need to smash it again. I didn’t get enough the first time.”
Craig just kind of shook his head with a faraway grin on his face. “What the hell are you laughing at?”
“Nothing, I have been there. There is always this one girl that you won’t be able to stop thinking about. They do some kind of voodoo, I swear.”
I liked the idea of having something to blame my emotions on. I didn’t know what else it could be. I had never cared about a girl passed a night or two and now it had been too long to think that this was just a fluke. I remembered her so well for a reason. I didn’t know what that reason was, but I knew that it all had happened for a reason. I just knew that I had to see her again.
“I don’t know about all of that, but the damn woman did something.”
“Just drink some more beer and eventually you will forget about her.”
“That or I will pass out.”
He shrugged and asked me what the difference was. Either was I was going to stop thinking of the woman that was the bane of my existence. It didn’t take long for him to be right and I was feeling better pretty quickly. I spotted a girl from across the room and the first thing that I noticed was that she was a redhead. I was now attracted to them full stop and I moved towards her at a slow pace. If I couldn’t have the real thing, maybe it was better to have an alternative. It was better than nothing.
***
Waking up the next morning with a pounding headache, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the strands of red hair that were on my arm. My dreams were of Carol, as they always were and I woke the woman up to give her a kiss. For a few moments there, I was convinced that it was Carol. When Maggie turned over and smiled at me, my heart sunk and I remembered the night before. I remembered picking her up at the bar and taking her home. I had seen Maggie around before. She was one of those girls that hung around when one of the gang wanted her. I didn’t need anyone to point her out. I had seen her with almost everyone in the gang. Everyone knew what she was in the bar for. It was only last night that I took her up on the open offer. She wasn’t as satisfying as I would have hoped her to be.
I didn’t say much to her and instead of getting some more of her delectable tongue I got up and started to get dressed. I already knew that being with her was a mistake, one that I didn’t want to repeat.
“Where are you going so early David? I was hoping that we could do that thing again that we did last night.”
I was sure that she was talking about sex and though she had been better than I had thought she would be, there was a big part of me that knew that it was never going to be the same. How could I have sex that was good and not great, when I knew that there was more out there? How could I not desperately crave the way I had felt with Carol in my arms? It didn’t make sense and the more I thought about it, the bitterer I became.
“I have work to do.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that the shop was open today. I thought Carlos had decided on closing it on Sundays?”
“It’s not. I think Carlos has a job for me and as slow as it has been at the shop, I didn’t think it would be out of the question to take on some more work.”
Why was I explaining myself to her? I got up and instead of saying anything more, I got into the shower and tried to rinse away all of the bad effects that were going on in my head. “I am going to take a shower Maggie. I will drop you off if you need a ride when I get out.”
“When will I see you again?”
I stopped with the question and wished that it was a bit clearer what was going on. She wasn’t going to hear from me again. I thought that she was a woman that wasn’t expecting anything out of our relationship. Maybe I was wrong…
“I don’t know Maggie. I will give you a call.”
“But you don’t have my number.”
She had me there and I should have taken it, but I didn’t like feeling obligated. I wasn’t going to call her so it was most likely better for me just to tell her the truth. She was the one that had seduced me. I was just there for the fall down.
“I am not really going to call you Maggie. You are nice, cute face and all, but what I am looking for is a little different.”
I could tell that it wasn’t what she wanted to hear and for a moment I worried that she was going to start crying. I couldn’t stand the sight of a woman that was upset, but I ignored the urge to comfort her and I just kind of ignored all of the thoughts that were running through my head.
“Look, I had a great time last night Maggie.”
She looked at me with a little hope that maybe I would change my mind. I didn’t want to though and even though everything I said about her was true, the fact of the matter was that I knew at the end of the day I would never see her again. If I did, it would be a random run-in and it would be awkward.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
Maggie wasn’t ready for the switch of conversations and she just stared at me blankly with her blue eyes. Would it have been different if they were twinkling green like Carol’s? I could still see them in my mind’s eye and I knew that if she would have looked more like Carol, maybe I would have been willing to call her back and to have something more to do with her. But she wasn’t and I didn’t feel any obligation to her.
“No, I think that I have taken up enough of your time.”
I didn’t blame her for being mad and I waited for her to leave before I took a deep breath. I needed to get dressed and go down to see Carlos. He had promised me a job. It wasn’t the money that I needed, but time away from the city and everything about it. I just needed a change. I wasn’t sure for how long, but anything to get me out of here was going to be great. I had to get out of here before I drove myself crazy.
***
“So what do you have for me?”
“I need you to take a road trip for me, take a car down south.”
My ears perked up with the direction, but I tried my best to not let out anymore emotions. He was sick of hearing about Carol too.
“Okay. So what is the car for?”
“I am selling it.”
“Anything extra that I should know about that needs to be delivered?”
Carlos shrugged and nodded his head. “You know we might as well make a trip of it, right?”
I shook my head and agreed. I had a feeling that it was all about the extra cargo and not the car at all. That meant that there was no telling what kind of car it was going to be. My luck it would be some beater that I would have to drive at night because it wasn’t even road worthy. It wouldn’t be the first time that I had to hump a stash in a trashy car. They thought that it made it look less conspicuous, I always thought that it just made it harder to get there on time.
“I got it Carlos. Just tell me where and I will leave today.”
“That ready to go huh?”
I told him that I was ready to get out of Chicago for a while. I was sick of the same sights and I needed something new to get my mind off of everything. Anywhere but here would be good right now.
“I haven’t even told you where you are going yet.”
“It doesn’t matter. I need to get out of here, so anywhere is good.”
Carlos cocked his head to one side, trying to figure out my dilemma. I wasn’t going to say anything, Craig was the exception and the drinking hadn’t helped when it came to loosening my lips. Carlos was different. He was my boss and I didn’t want to look weak in front of him.
“I think you are going to like this place that I am sending you to David.”
He was messing with me, dangling something in my face and I wasn’t sure what it was. What did he have that was so good to give him a grin like that?
“I need you to go down to New Orleans David. Do you think that you can handle it?”
I wasn’t sure that I heard him righ
t, but I was definitely ready to take that road trip. I wouldn’t have to call a number that never got answered anymore. I was more than determined to find Carol while I was down there and I had a feeling that was why Carlos had me going. He must have known that she was from there. I may have mentioned it a time or two, that or Joel was running his mouth to him about it.
“Sounds like a plan Carlos. I will get a bag together and I will leave in a little while.”
He grinned at me and I tried to ignore it, but it was impossible to. What in the world was he thinking?
“What?”
“Nothing, I just thought that you would be a little more excited about going there, that’s all. I mean, isn’t it where that chick is from that you never shut up about?”
He was playing dumb, but he knew. They all knew. When a guy like me started turning down tail, it was time to sit up and take notice.
“Yeah that is where Carol lives.”
“Well take your time coming back. I don’t need you for a while if you want to go and see the sights.”
I knew what he meant and I thanked him without ever saying the words. He was giving me a gift and I was going to take it. I hadn’t had time off in a while to get away when everyone else was in the city. There was a first time for everything after all, but this was new to me.
Leaving Carlos’ house, I was in a bit of a daze. Not sure what I was going to do about everything, I tried to imagine what Carol was going to say when she saw me. Would she remember me as much as I had remembered her? Would she even want to see me?
I hoped so and if not, I still remembered her weakness and I was not above using it to my advantage.
Chapter 3
Carol
“Why are you telling me this Cameron?”
“Because I thought you would like to know that he was looking for you. Joel said he just got into town and there was only one name that he mentioned.”
“I don’t know why.”
My friend snorted at me and I was left to look down. I couldn’t meet her gaze. I wasn’t good at lying to her and this was one of the times that I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
