Aaron winced at the disdain in Gavin’s voice. “Cyn’s my business partner. Not a cookie.”
“Who’s that?” Amelia asked.
“No one important.” Gavin kissed her on the cheek. “Not with you here. She got bored and moved on, and that’s fine with me.”
This was better than any other time in the past. The sarcastic thought rushed through Aaron’s head. Gavin wasn’t just drunk and childish, he was also acting like he’d been dumped. By Cynthia. Fabulous. The realization soured inside Aaron, mingling with everything else bitter.
“It’s lovely to meet you.” He closed the distance to them and wrapped an arm around Amelia’s waist. “I’ll call you a ride, and you can get home safely.”
She pouted. “I want to stay here.”
“Don’t be a spoil sport,” Gavin said.
Aaron flicked through the app on his phone to grab a car for Amelia. Seconds later he pocketed the device. “Silver Accord. They’ll be here in ten minutes. You’ll see them better if you wait in the lobby.”
He hated to hustle the woman out the door, but he was millimeters from losing his shit, and he didn’t want any witnesses.
Gavin kissed Amelia on the cheek. “Sorry, love. I didn’t know Oscar the Grouch was here. I’ll call you.”
“Okay.” The door closed behind her.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Gavin whirled on him.
Aaron stared back in disbelief. How dare he pull any sort of self-righteous bullshit? “Do you want a list? Let’s start with how drunk you are.”
“Not nearly as much as I need to be, to put up with this. She was a nice girl, and you were rude.”
So many emotions churned inside Aaron in an acidic cocktail, he didn’t know which to focus on. Disbelief would be the least painful, but hurt and anger rose to the top. “I’m sorry I couldn’t paste on a fake smile for a random stranger. Maybe if you’d brought home a bottle of whatever’s racing through your veins, it would help. It’s been a really shitty week, and I’m not in the mood.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me.”
“I’d rather lean on you for support. You know, like what I’ve given you for over a decade. You’re not making that easy, though.” Aaron was surprised at thoughts he didn’t realize were there until the words hit his tongue. “That’s all I’ve wanted from you for the past few days.”
“This week.” Gavin spat the words. “And last week, it was for me to pretend I wasn’t being hounded by fans—”
Aaron couldn’t believe that was thrown back in his face. “You mean that pack in the restaurant? Or the club? When I tried to pull you away?”
“And two months ago, it was, just promise me you won’t drink anymore. And five years ago, it was, I can’t stay with you if you can’t give up the coke. And ten years ago, it was, Acting is killing you. Walk away. For me. And Monday, it was, Don’t hit on my business partner.”
Aaron almost choked on the venom flung in his direction. “Holy fuck. You’re serious.”
“What I’m serious about is that being with me seems to make you miserable. If you hate it so much, why do you stick around?”
“I stick around because I love you. And for a long time, I convinced myself that it didn’t matter that you refused to deal with whatever is haunting you, because it was in the past.” Aaron wasn’t putting up with this. “You can’t blame your life and your decisions on everyone else. Saying you stopped drinking for me, instead of you. Saying Cyn destroyed a relationship... You didn’t have a fucking relationship with her. Not like that. Insisting your upbringing is the reason you have to stop and smile for every fucking fan who wants your autograph. If you don’t want any of that, don’t do it.”
“Great advice. I made it that far on my own. Hence the afternoon of tequila shots with a gorgeous blonde who wanted to be there and wasn’t flirting with me for your approval and money.”
Aaron clenched his fist and a growl slipped out without his permission. If this was anyone else, he’d deck them for a comment like that. “Don’t take your childish fucking insecurities out on Cynthia. This isn’t about her.”
“Fine.” Despite the defiance in Gavin’s voice, some of his swagger vanished. “Let’s focus on you and me. You wouldn’t be anywhere financially, without me. You were pulling cheap-ass tricks on a back lot, and you’d be in jail now if we hadn’t met.”
The reminder hurt. It dug under the insecurity Aaron never managed to shake, that he was his father’s son. “That may be true, and I’m willing to face that reality. Can you do the same?”
“Admit you’re nothing without me?”
“Confront your fucking flaws and fix them.”
Gavin rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with me, except that you keep telling me I’m broken.”
“Other people may buy that bullshit, but I don’t.” Aaron saw where this was headed, and a sliver of terror told him to back down. To make their relationship right before they said things they couldn’t take back. Except they’d passed that point, and he hadn’t realized they were near snapping until it happened. “The one thing I can thank my father for? I can spot a bad con from a mile away. And the lies you tell yourself? They ooze to the surface. You don’t even believe them.”
“Fuck you.” Gavin spun, walked out the door, and slammed it behind him.
Aaron leaned against the wall for support, as his legs threatened to give out. He let out a long gasp and clenched his fists so hard, his nails dug into his palms. He itched to go after Gavin. To chase him down and figure out what just happened, and make things right.
Not tonight. The thought looped in his head until it took hold. That hadn’t worked in the past, and the things that had come out... Aaron was too raw to go through a Round Two. Besides, the alcohol didn’t invent what wasn’t there; it only made it easier to admit what was.
“Not tonight.” Aaron spoke the words aloud and let them echo in the empty condo.
Chapter Nineteen
I CAN’T MAKE OUR MEETING today. Send me the rest of your paperwork as you have it, but consider yourself funded. Third board position is yours to fill.
Cynthia stared at the brief email from Aaron and reread it a third time to make sure she wasn’t missing something. She understood the first part. He had a lot going on right now; it made sense he’d have to cancel an appointment or two.
But halting the due diligence was odd. And the board position... She’d assumed he’d give that to Gavin or hold onto it for another financial partner, to secure veto rights if she and Aaron reached an impasse.
It was best not to dwell on it. She had work to do, and this way she didn’t have to see Aaron and Gavin too much. Since Emily and Paul walked out of her life, she’d thrown herself into work and getting funding, in order to ignore that she was lonely. Aaron and Gavin were just another way to fill that void.
The empty pit in her gut argued there was more to it than that, but loneliness could play cruel tricks.
The rest of her Friday passed without incident, though she didn’t get as much work done as she hoped. Every time her phone buzzed, she grabbed it, hoping for something from Aaron.
She closed up her office and headed home. Maybe she should go out tonight. Dancing or drinking. Not alone. That’s no fun.
Unless she met someone. The idea hit her thoughts with a dull thud. Home it was.
Her weekend wasn’t as pleasant as she wanted. Saturday she called Emily and went straight to voicemail. “Hey, it’s me.” Cynthia kept her tone light. “Just calling to say hi. There’s no rush to get back to me.”
She went back to the office. She was set up to work from home, but it felt more official to do business from her place of business. She sifted through existing client records, wrote up ads for new job postings, and tweaked some of her code. The algorithm for matching more than two people still wasn’t quite right, and now that she’d put feelers out, more of her clients were requesting the option.
Though
ts of Aaron and Gavin slammed into her. The way they treated conversation like a hacky sack. The more searing moments when things got intimate—between them and with her—hands running over bare skin and lips following. Aaron gliding a hand under her dress, to pinch a nipple. Gavin pushing her hand up the inside of her thigh, to tease her sex.
She reached for her phone, then stopped herself. It wasn’t right to call them because she didn’t have a social life.
She forced her attention back to her work, but the computer took longer to return results with each new task. She’d need to upgrade some of her hardware soon. Which meant a whole new round of decisions and purchases she hadn’t accounted for this early in the timeline.
By Monday morning, she needed Aaron’s input on the server purchase. You really don’t, her thoughts taunted her, as she picked up the phone. But he was a business partner. He had a say in major purchases.
She winced with each ring, and when she went to voicemail, she disconnected without leaving a message.
It wouldn’t hurt to drop by the condo and ask him in person. Not because she missed him or Gavin, but sometimes an in-person meeting was a good way to keep lines of communication open.
When she reached their place, she knocked and waited. Seconds ticked away. Something clattered inside. Or was that from a neighboring place? She tapped her toes inside her shoes. She should knock again, but that pushed the limits of claiming she was here on a casual visit. Maybe... No. It was time to go. This was something that could be done with an email or a phone call or without his input at all. Why was she here?
She turned on her toe, and a latch clinked behind her.
“Hey, Cyn.” Aaron’s greeting was tired.
A fist clenched around her heart at the sadness filling her voice.
She whirled back to face him, her smile brighter than she intended. “Hey.” Concern spread through her when she saw the lines on his face matched the exhaustion in his tone. “How are you?”
“Fine. What’s up?”
She hesitated. “Do you have a few minutes to talk business?”
“Now really isn’t a good time. Email it to me, and I’ll look it over.”
“It’ll only take a few minutes.” Great. Now she sounded desperate. Leave the guy alone. Take a hint.
Aaron sighed. “What is it?”
“I need to upgrade my servers...” She trailed off when his frown deepened.
“I trust you. You don’t have to run every one of these decisions by me.”
“I know. It’s just that...” Go. Now. But she couldn’t. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Personal stuff. Not the kind of thing that makes for a good business conversation.”
The brush-off hurt. It shouldn’t, but that didn’t stop the ache from filling her chest. It wasn’t as though they were close. Sex and work—that was all they had. It didn’t stop her from wanting to sit by his side until he was feeling better. “As long as you’re talking to someone about it. Gavin, maybe?”
Aaron clenched his jaw and his nostrils flared.
“I’m-sorry-I-didn’t-mean...” The words tumbled out, but she couldn’t find the right ones to finish the thought.
His chuckle was clipped and dark. “I might be talking to him, if he were here. Oh, wait. That’s the problem.”
She should walk away and keep things professional, but she couldn’t. Everything spilling from Aaron gnawed at her and filled her with the desire to help. To see him feeling better. “Let me in, and I’ll listen. No judgment. No taking sides. I’m here.”
“That’s not going to work for me.” He stepped aside anyway. “I’d rather you took my side.” His scowl cracked, and for a moment she thought he might smile, but a shadow moved back in again.
“No deal. But I’m listening.” She took a seat in one of the easy chairs in the living room.
He paced in front of her, rubbing the tips of his fingers together, gaze cast at the floor.
She let that continue for a moment before saying, “What’s going on?”
Aaron looked let out a long breath. “We had a fight Thursday night, and I haven’t seen him since. He’s not answering his phone. Not that I tried very hard before Sunday.”
“What happened Sunday?”
Aaron looked at her, pain echoing in his eyes. “Concern won out over spite and anger.”
“What was the fight about?” She didn’t miss the way he glossed over the details, or his hesitation, as if he wanted to say more.
“Everything. The same old things, but with a new and cruel twist. I’m not supportive enough. He’s under a lot of pressure, and it drives his addictions. I accused him of a lot of things I probably shouldn’t have. I... I got tired of being the responsible one.”
“If you said it in the heat of the moment, it’s been gnawing at you long enough to work its way out.” She measured her answer carefully. Not taking sides would be difficult if she wanted to comfort him, but she only had his side of the story.
That wasn’t completely true. She saw the tension in the club, and the way both Aaron and Gavin reacted. If their fight was related to things like that, she had a bit more sympathy for Aaron. “You reached a point where you felt you had to do something different,” she said.
“I said horrible things.” His voice wavered, as if he didn’t quite believe himself.
“The two of you can work this out.”
“How?” Of course he’d ask that.
“If I had that answer—if it were that easy—things probably wouldn’t have gotten so bad in the...” As she recited the stock answer, a reality settled deep inside. She’d never believed the really big rough patches could be worked through. It was easy to go through the motions and repeat the psychology she learned in college, but deep down inside, she assumed all romantic relationships were doomed to fail. The realization chewed at her senses and stung her soul. For the first time since she could remember, she wanted to be wrong about that. She wanted Aaron and Gavin to make it through whatever this was.
God, she was stupid to try and push Paul and Emily together. The numbers, the code, the matchmaking software—it said the two would work. But the chemistry was never there.
“Cyn?” Aaron’s question penetrated her rambling thoughts. “Wouldn’t have gotten that bad in the first place? Is that what you were saying?”
She nodded. “Sorry. I was just thinking what the two of you have is so real. I can see that, and I barely know you. That kind of passion will rub the wrong way sometimes, but you can’t give up. He can’t give up.”
Aaron shook his head. “I don’t know if we have a lot of options. I hate to sound fatalistic, but this feels different. I don’t know if there’s any going back for either of us.”
She reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers, but had no wise words or comfort to share.
GAVIN LAY IN BED IN his hotel room, staring at the ceiling. It was Tuesday evening. Six days since the argument with Aaron. Almost a week since he’d been home. He knew that without question, because even though he’d drunk enough over that time frame to drown himself him, he still remembered.
He remembered everything he said and Aaron’s retorts. He tried to summon the rage he had during the fight, but it was gone. Drifted away hours or days ago, leaving him with an empty pit inside.
He got up and ambled into the bathroom, to splash cold water on his face. He paused in front of the mirror, and his reflection stared back at him with bloodshot eyes.
Habit and longing begged him to go back to Aaron, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Not after the things that were said. The accusations thrown at Gavin.
Maybe Aaron had a point. You need to be the one to change.
Gavin hated that voice. It sounded like Aaron and got loud every time sobriety sank in. “Maybe people need to understand where I’m coming from and stop making unrealistic demands,” he told the mirror-image. His voice echoed off tile, taunting him.
Way to pass the blame to someone else.
Again.
Rage poured through him. “Shut up.” He smashed his fist into the mirror. The sound of shattering glass, along with the pain shooting through his knuckles, jarred him out of his head and back to reality. A fractured version of him stared back. It seemed appropriate.
He needed a drink. And to wash the blood from his knuckles. He was out of liquor, and the hotel bar sucked, so he’d take care of the wound first, and then head out. Get laid. Get wasted. Maybe find something stronger, to help him forget.
He stripped off his boxers and stepped into the shower, where he stood under the stream, barely noticing as it slid from cold to scalding.
If he went to Aaron and demanded they make things work, Aaron would listen.
It won’t be that easy this time.
Fuck. The nagging voice had a point. And he needed to get out of his head before he went nuts. He shut off the water, and ran a towel over himself. His skin was still damp when he pulled on slacks and a button-down. He was going out. As himself. To the one place he wanted to be recognized—the club where he was guaranteed to get in because of his past star status, and he could score... well, anything really.
He headed downstairs and had the concierge call him a taxi. Tonight could be a good night for X.
Because you need to feel more intensely? Are you sure that’s smart?
He growled inwardly at the pseudo-Aaron voice. Coke, then.
Do you think I’ll shut up if you’re wired like that?
Fine. Heroin. He’d stayed away from the addictive drugs in the past—alcohol had sharp enough hooks—but tonight he wasn’t picky. He wanted something to make him numb.
That sounds like the perfect solution.
Great. Now he was being sarcastic with himself.
The ride to the club seemed to take forever but was only about twenty minutes. Even on a weeknight, there was a line to get in. Gavin didn’t wait. He flashed the doorman a smile, and a moment later he was stepping into a different world where the reality of outside didn’t matter. There was only now.
Their Matchmaker Page 13
