by T. A. Brock
But what did she want?
It doesn’t matter; you don’t deserve it.
His hand was still taking up her cheek, but she didn’t seem to mind. The light from the night was coming in her window, and the reflection of it on her hair caught his attention. Of its own will, his hand gravitated to the strands that danced around her cheeks. He slipped his fingers through them and his breath actually caught. He had no clue they’d be so soft. Like threads of satin.
But did she want this?
“What are you thinking?” he managed to ask.
She blinked several times and swallowed hard. Instinctively, he knew she didn’t want to tell him and that meant it was bad.
“I’m thinking that any minute now, I’m going to wake up back on the couch and realize all this was a dream.”
He cocked his head to one side. That, he hadn’t been expecting. Not at all. Would this really be a scenario that she might dream about? The fact that she would dream about him—and that it would be something other than a nightmare—was altogether baffling.
“And would that be a good dream or a bad dream?” he couldn’t help asking. He had to know one way or another.
Cori ducked her eyes again, clearly uncomfortable. “A good one.”
A good one. He almost smiled. Instead he twined his fingers in her soft, soft hair. “What would you say was the best part?”
Her eyes pierced his defiantly. “That, I will never tell you.”
He did smile then. “Maybe one day,” he mumbled, his attention still on her hair.
“Never.”
He went back to her face, his hand dipping under her chin to tilt it up. He grew serious again. “Do you forgive me?”
She took a shuddering breath and nodded. “I just have one question though.”
“What’s that?” What would she ask? Would it be something he had an answer to?
“In the morning are you going to hate me again? Or are you going to be all marshmallowey, like now?”
Still serious, he said, “It’s not possible for me to hate you, shrimp.”
Chapter 15
An Ominous Warning
LUNCHTIME WAS, IN A WORD, awkward.
All morning, Cori had been in a weird state of uncertainty, not sure what to think about everything that had happened the night before. It hadn’t been a dream. That much she knew. But she wasn’t naïve enough to think things would be smooth going. He’d opened up a little last night. He’d been vulnerable. That meant she was bound to endure some more of his crabbiness today. That’d be his emo-defense mechanism kicking in.
But that was okay.
Last night had done something to her, strengthened her. Or maybe it just distracted her from all the sucky things in her life. Whatever the case, she felt different. And it wasn’t just because of the way he’d looked at her, the way he’d touched her, the way he’d made her think he was going to kiss her…Well, okay, maybe that was a lot of it. The thing was, she’d never had that kind of connection with anybody before—and in such a short period of time. She hadn’t even broken the surface of knowing him, but they clicked. Deeper than that. They complimented each other. He was the rough side of the Velcro; she was the soft.
In first period, Grayson was already at his desk, doodling on his notebook. Nervously, Cori went and sat in front of him, as usual. He didn’t acknowledge her at all. Clearly, she’d have to be the first to talk.
“Hi,” was all she could get out. If only she was like Peg maybe a simple “hi” wouldn’t be so tough.
“Hi.” He kept his head down.
She waited, staring at his wild dark hair, but he didn’t spare her even a glance. She tried not to let it bother her. After all, she’d been mentally prepping herself for this all morning. But still, it did. After another second, she faced forward. Best to leave him alone for now.
Aiken arrived and thankfully was enough of a distraction.
“Hey,” he said, after he’d taken his seat next to her. “Missed you last night. Peg said you weren’t feeling well.” Did she? How sweet of her.
Cori shrugged, not wanting to lie. “I just needed some alone time.”
“I understand. I get that way too.” His smile was so friendly she instantly felt guilty for ditching him yesterday. “Listen,” he said, turning serious. “I know you’ve had some bad times, with moving and everything.” She knew when he said “everything” he meant losing her dad. “But if you ever need to talk or anything—about whatever—I’m here for you.” He grinned again and she couldn’t help noticing how it brightened the room. “I’ve been told I’m a great listener.”
She grinned. “Thanks, Aiken. I’ll keep that in mind.”
As if he knew she didn’t want to dwell on things, he was quick to change the subject. “Peg said she was going to talk to you about helping out with the EPO project.”
“Epo?”
“I think it stands for Environmental Protection Organization. Peg is in charge of the student sector, I believe. From what I understand, this next month is a big deal. Every week there will be different projects, fundraisers, town-wide cleanups, and at the end there’s a big party or something. Anyway, she said she was going to see if you wanted to help out. First meeting is tonight. Could look good on those college apps.”
“She hasn’t said anything yet. But I’m sure I could find the time to help her.”
Another smile from him. “Great. I figured you’d be up for it.”
Class dragged but finally the bell rang. Grayson rushed past her and out the door before she could even close her book. She glanced at Aiken. Sometimes, she realized, he could look so dangerous—a far cry from his normal good-natured ways—like the way he was glaring after Grayson right then.
She hurried to her next class. Once again, she sat near Grayson. This time, instead of trying to talk to him, she took her pencil and jotted something on his notebook since that’s where his attention was.
Is everything all right?
He stared at the words for too long before he finally looked at her and nodded sharply. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking; his expression was mostly neutral, closed off.
Not helpful at all.
She wanted to know what was going on behind those dark eyes. Once she might have thought that those eyes were hard and shallow and nothing more than a brick wall made especially for girls like her to knock their head against. But she knew better now. Last night she’d witnessed a whole different pair of eyes. Ones that were unexpectedly caring.
What was staring back at her now was definitely a brick wall.
She wrote something else—even knowing that the answer would likely make her feel worse. Regrets?
His shoulders slumped as if he carried the weight of a million worlds on his back. Holding her gaze, he nodded. The simple admission cut her deeper than she’d thought possible. But then, she’d asked for it, hadn’t she.
Cori bit down on her lip, hoping to hide the expression that was threatening to surface. His mouth parted like he was going to say something—and that’s when Aiken barreled through the door whistling Miley Cyrus’s “Party In The USA.” He plunked down next to Cori, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he’d interrupted something.
Cori quickly flipped open her own notebook and pretended she was urgently finishing some homework. Thankfully, he didn’t try to talk to her. But he did keep whistling that obnoxious song until Mrs. Simon had to ask him to stop.
In her next class, she tried not to think about Grayson and failed pretty miserably. Hadn’t he said he wanted to try? Maybe he’d changed his mind. Had regrets.
By lunchtime, she’d decided not to expect anything. It really wasn’t fair for her to think someone like Grayson—who seemed to spend most of his time alone—could change his ways overnight. And besides, there was no need to rush things. Whatever had happened between them last night, there would be more of. She felt sure about that.
Still, she was shocked when Grayson walked right up to h
er table in the middle of lunch. She hadn’t seen him in the cafeteria and assumed he’d skipped again.
“…but there’s so much to do to prepare and I could really use all the help…I…can…and get…” Peg had been talking—rather animatedly—about the EPO project when her face, and apparently her mind, went blank. Cori noticed a similar expression on Rex’s. Aiken just looked bemused. She turned to see what they were gawking at.
There he was, staring at her, his eyes alight once again. And just like the night before, her stomach flipped.
“Oh. Hi.” She hated that she sounded so surprised. Why couldn’t she just play it cool? Was that so much to ask? “You can sit here.” She moved closer to Aiken to make room on the bench. But Aiken didn’t budge and there wasn’t enough room for Grayson to sit. “Aiken, can you scoot just a little?” she asked, her eyes still locked on Grayson.
Aiken did—like an inch. She tore her eyes away from Grayson to look at him. What was wrong with him? He was glaring at Grayson.
“Aiken,” she said, annoyed. “We need a little room.” He didn’t move. Rex cleared his throat. But still, nothing.
“It’s all good, Cori,” Grayson said.
No. He wasn’t leaving. She’d worked too hard to get him here. She snapped her head around to object—
But he wasn’t going anywhere. Instead, he sat down in the tiny space, straddling the bench so he was facing her from the side. His long legs stretched out, one behind her and one in front. His right arm rested on the table and his left, on his leg—the same leg she could feel against her lower back.
Sitting like he was put them very close together, and Cori realized she might have liked it if not for all the sets of eyes that were currently pinned on her. It wasn’t just Peg and Rex either. It seemed like everyone in the cafeteria was focused on them.
And that was how she came to be uncomfortably wedged between two muscled up hotties who couldn’t seem to stop glaring. Why did she get the feeling that the only thing keeping these two from tearing each other to shreds was little ol’ her?
“Uh…so, like I was saying, will you come to the meeting tonight?” Peg continued, as if she was speaking rote. She didn’t give Cori a chance to answer. “Rex can pick you up if you want and bring you home. And I’ll order pizza and stuff so you don’t have to worry about dinner.”
Cori speared some salad and shoved it in her mouth so she wouldn’t have to answer yet. She was onboard with helping Peg with the EPO thing, but she didn’t think her voice would be solid yet. Grayson sitting so close had thrown her, and she could swear he hadn’t stopped staring at her since he’d arrived. Not to mention she was way closer than she ever anticipated being to Aiken. Oh, and Rex was running his tongue along his front teeth, which she’d noticed was common when he was annoyed.
When she’d finished chewing and the silence was becoming weird, she said, “Yeah, sure. I’ll come. It sounds fun.”
Rex smiled but it looked forced. “What time should I pick you up?”
“I’ll pick her up,” Aiken barked. Rex narrowed his eyes. Grayson stiffened next to her. Peg looked strangely uncomfortable. It was a weird look for her because she was the type who was never uncomfortable. The world changed to fit her, not the other way around.
Cori frowned at Aiken. What was wrong with him, talking to Rex like that?
Ignoring the hate beams he was throwing over her head to Grayson, she spoke up. “Meeting starts at six?”
Peg nodded.
“Five thirty, then,” she said to Rex. “You know where I live, right?”
He gave her a sarcastic grin. “Of course, doll. You’re the new girl. Everyone knows where you live.”
Oh. News to her.
“I drive a red Passport, in case you weren’t aware,” he continued.
She nodded. “Red Passport. Got it.”
To her left, Aiken snatched the bottled water he’d purchased. In one swift motion, he’d uncapped it and upended it, gulping almost frantically. She wasn’t the only one at the table who stared at him strangely. She was sure, however, that she was the only one who noticed Aiken and Grayson had something in common besides their undeniable good looks. How had she not noticed it before? It wasn’t a big thing but…it was the water. Just like Grayson, Aiken never ate anything at lunch. He just drank water.
When the bottle was empty, he crushed it and tossed it toward a nearby recycling bin.
Then there was nothing more to say. Not even Peg could come up with something to break the quiet. Rex was using his fork to make designs in his mashed potatoes. Aiken was tapping a frenetic rhythm on the table. Peg was twisting the cap on and off of her bottle of green tea. Cori had shoved her tray aside and was trying not to notice how she could feel Grayson’s breath on her neck—he was that close.
The bell rang. And never before had anything sounded so good. It was like each of them breathed a sigh of relief.
When Cori had un-sandwiched herself from Grayson and Aiken, Peg grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away. She went with her because well, Peg was almost dragging her and because she desperately wanted to get out of the cafeteria. In the hall, Peg zeroed in on the bathroom. When they were inside and the door was shut, she looked under the doors of the stalls.
“All clear,” she said, her bouncy red curls bobbing as she righted herself. Then her green eyes came at Cori like lasers. “What was that all about?” she asked.
Cori shuffled her feet. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? Are you serious? I’m talking about you spending lunch as the creamy center of a double stuff Oreo, that’s what I mean.” Peg was wearing jeans—green ones, the color of grass—and a navy blue and yellow striped shirt. But still, her eyes demanded the most attention.
“I told Grayson he could sit with us if he wanted. I don’t know what was up with Aiken. He was being weird, huh?”
Peg rolled those eyes. “Yeah, weird. So, what’s going on with you and Dracula?”
Cori fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “Nothing, really. We’ve just been talking.”
Her friend crossed her arms and cocked one hip. The gesture screamed, “Yeah right.”
“You gonna tell me or not?”
Cori pursed her lips while she considered it. Why shouldn’t she tell her about last night? It wasn’t like it was a secret. “He came to my house last night.”
“And?”
Cori shrugged. “And we talked. That’s it.”
“That is so not it,” Peg argued.
Cori went to the sink and busied herself with washing her hands. “He’s not how he seems, you know, not once you get to know him. There’s something about him.”
Peg strolled over to stand next to Cori and met her eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “Something you like?”
Cori wanted to scowl, but instead the corners of her mouth turned up. It was like they had a mind of their own. “Yeah, something I like.”
Peg huffed and checked her teeth in the mirror. “Well, if you insist on being masochistic I guess you have my support. I won’t even say ‘I told you so’ if he ends up breaking your heart. I just have to know though.” She glanced at Cori in the mirror and then looked away quickly, her voice too high. “Wouldn’t you rather try your luck with someone like Aiken? He’s obviously into you.”
Cori frowned. She couldn’t imagine him as anything other than a friend. She just didn’t feel that way about him. And then there was the stunt he’d pulled at lunch. She shook her head. “No,” she told Peg. “Aiken is just a friend. And speaking of, what was up with him?”
Peg blinked. “That was jealousy in action. That was basically two dogs attempting to mark their territory. Meaning you, of course.”
“Ew. Gross visual.”
Peg shrugged. “The truth is nasty sometimes.”
“Well, I’m not interested in Aiken, so that’s the end of that.”
Peg nodded. The tension between her crimson eyebrows relaxed. “Okay then. Maybe tomorrow thing
s will be less awkward.”
Cori gave her a look.
“Hey, we can always hope.” Peg grinned. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.”
In class, neither Grayson nor Aiken tried to talk to her. When school was over, she stopped by her locker to collect her homework. That eerie drawing feeling that was now becoming familiar swept over her like a wave, making her head swim. And then it faded away, replaced by an unmistakable presence. Grayson had come up behind her. She could tell by the way he smelled: woodsy like pine. She’d noticed it last night and again at lunch. It reminded her of the woods, the sweet smell of wet decaying leaves on the forest floor. She liked it. But even if it weren’t for that, she would’ve known it was him. Instinct—or something—told her who it was.
She closed her locker and turned around. He was right there, nearly as close as he’d been at lunch, and staring down at her so intensely. She hoped she didn’t have anything on her face. She resisted the urge to reach up and check.
He stepped even closer, his mouth inches from hers. Not a single part of him was touching her, but he might as well have had his hands all over her for the way she felt.
“Come with me,” he said.
“W-Where?”
“Does it matter?”
She shook her head, which was probably stupid—it should matter. It just didn’t. Grayson raised an eyebrow.
“I have the EPO meeting though. I promised Peg.”
“You won’t miss it,” he promised. His jaw ticked. “Maybe I’ll even come with you.”
Was he serious?
“Okay.”
Cori followed him out to the parking lot—apparently they were driving this time? When he stopped at the passenger side door of a shiny coal-black Corvette she had to work to cover up her surprise. For some reason, she’d expected him to drive an old clunker.
Grayson opened the door without a word and she got in. He stayed quiet while he drove. Cori did too. There was nothing to break up the silence except the radio, which was blaring Arcade Fire.
The car stopped sooner than she’d expected. Looking around, she realized they were at the cemetery again. She followed him through the gate and past the headstones to the thin line of trees and shrubs that separated the river from the graveyard.
