by Roberts, Liz
“Wait Jill … …” Casey didn’t finish his thought, he just knew Jill was mad and wasn’t sure how to calm her down or make her understand that he was still hurting from his wife and daughters’ death and everything else that came with the guilt.
“No it’s fine, honestly. I usually talk too much and I’m way too nosey, I should have just minded my own business.” Jill was now muttering more to herself than to him. He finally caught up with her at the door to enter the building, still unsure of what he was going to say, he grabbed her arm to turn her around, but Jill was already in the process of turning and quickly lost her balance with only Casey to help brace her up. They just stared at each other a moment. Jill finally broke the silence.
“You know you’re not the only who’s lost someone they love. I had friends where I was when this started. I watched as they died, in my travels I’ve met people and have been forced to move on with or without them.” She said softly.
“Jill you don’t understand, it was my wife … my baby.” Casey suddenly somber, it sort of scared Jill with his change in mood. She actually could see the internal struggle this man was going through.
“You know,” She paused. “We all have demons to deal with, you have to remember you’re alive, and they would want you to live, for them.” Jill said and turned away, leaving Casey to absorb her truth about everyone alive now having the same problem. How does one cope as a survivor, living while others had died?
Walking down the hall back her room, Jill was about to cry, like really cry, all she’d been doing lately was leaking tears, she couldn’t remember when the last time she had a break down sob-fest was. She was managing pretty steady when the tears started to come down her cheeks and her eyes burned with the effort to hold back. After getting to her door, she leaned back against it and slid down to the floor and cried in a strangled silence, hoping no one would see or hear. Images of the past year played over in her mind, friends being mutilated, new acquaintances being torn apart, always trying to be one step ahead of the chaos and destruction. She was now angry with herself for letting Casey get to her, angry because she didn’t have answers about her family, angry for just crying. She to stop this, she needed to break away. She needed to leave. Jill didn’t need this kind of heartache, she had a family to find answers to get.
“Damn it.” Jill said standing back up and wiping her face off, she was opening her door, as Jack came flying around the corner from the end of the hallway. He was all bright eyed and smiling.
“Hey slow down there bub.” Jill said putting her hand up to keep Jack from knocking her down. She opened her door and Jack swept in and took a seat on the edge of her bed.
“She kissed me.” He said out of breath.
“What? Who?” She asked slightly confused.
“Meghan, Beth’s daughter, I was helping her make deliveries and we were talking and I thought she was with Mike because he leaned but then she leaned and said she wasn’t and kissed me.” He was quickly trying to rattle off details.
“Hang on slow down. Ok I have Meghan was leaning and kissed you, and she’s not dating Mike who was leaning? Do I have that correct?” Jill somewhat laughing a bit now.
“Yes, and we made out in the truck. It was awesome.” Jack said and flung his body back on the bed.
“I gather that. So what does all this mean?” She chuckled. A blank look was now all over Jack’s face as he sat back up.
“I don’t know. Should I go ask her? What do I do now?” He started to rise.
“Hold on don’t ask her anything, just be calm and patient. She’ll come find you and then you guys can talk about things. You have to be really careful how you handle this, the community here is super tiny, and if you mess with her in the wrong way, people are going to be upset, and who knows what will happen.” She went on to explain.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Jack asked suddenly stopping his rant of worry about his possibly budding sex life.
“Nothing, I was just listening to you.” Jill quickly trying to look away from him, so he wouldn’t see her watery eyes.
“No, you’ve been crying. I can see your eyes are red. Plus your trying to act like everything’s ok when it’s obviously not, my mother pulled the same stuff, except she was better at it.” Jack said now following Jill as she was walking around the room trying to find something to do with her hands.
“Spill it.” Jack demanded from behind her.
“I’m fine.” Jill insisted.
“It must be a woman thing, to pretend you haven’t been crying when you obviously have.” Jack said straight forward and making almost too much sense for Jill to handle. She felt some more tears about to squeeze out, when all of a sudden Jack hugged her. Jill wasn’t even sure what or how it happened she was just being hugged and soothed. An immediate feeling of home came over her. It was like her little brother was right here, in her arms, telling her everything was going to be fine. Her brother was good at helping her feel better when she was low.
“Thanks Mark.” Jill uttered with her eyes closed and now clinging to Jack.
“It’s Jack.” He said. Now pulling back to look at Jill’s face and seeing more tears. “Who’s Mark?” he asked her quietly, he wanted her to talk about it.
“He’s my youngest brother; he would have been 17 this last February. He was tall like you, super blonde,
skinny-ish, great at football and track.” Jill pulled away completely. Not sure how to proceed with this. She had never really talked to anyone about her family or any of her friends for that matter. There was never any point prior to this, things never lasted long enough to build any kind of friendship or relationship. But now she thought things seemed different. She was making friends, and possibly complicated relationship. She had to be done, clean break. Her mind, her emotions, she couldn’t handle this anymore, she needed to run, escape. Jack was here, he was safe, maybe one day they’d even meet again, but she couldn’t stay her anymore.
“Jack I’m tired, I think I’ll lay down now.” He was about to say ok, but then eyed her suspiciously.
“Sure, but are you going to be ok?”
“Of course.”
“Then why were you crying? Please tell me.” Jill prowled around the tiny room avoiding Jack.
“Listen you’re a big boy, you’re here, you’re safe, I’ve got to find my family.” He stared at her and shook his head slightly as if out of a daze.
“No. No. You can’t go its dangerous. How would you survive? Please, Jill. I can’t lose you.” He grabbed her arms and hands repeated words over and over intent on making her stay. Jill knew this battle was over, for now.
“A fucking month!” Jeff shouted at Tyler.
“I’m telling you, I’ve asked all the questions possible, this guy ain’t budging.” Tyler said.
“Well you better suck him off or something, because we need know how to get some guns and a vehicle.” Jeff replied. “These bitches don’t know shit.”
“Or we’re talking to the wrong bitches.” Tyler put in.
“I’m already sick of their rules and bullshit. I want out of here. Yeah sleeping in a bed at night has been nice, but I want to come and go as I please. Plus we could do stuff around here way better.” Jeff now angry and scrapping for a fight, Tyler was usually his favorite punching bag.
“I’ll start working on the other guy, Mike or one of the younger teens that help out with that stuff.” Tyler backing out of Jeff’s room, trying to leave before any violence started. Jeff had a short fuse, and if left to long with no release Jeff could beat someone to death. Tyler had already been on the other side of Jeff’s fists a few times. His jaw still clicked when he ate and his nose never healed right, and he was pretty sure that Jeff would kill someone if he fought them now.
“Give me 24 hrs and I’ll crack someone I swear.” Tyler was now saying anything to get his ass outta the room and in one piece. Jeff sprang up from the bed, not noticing Tyler flinched.
“That bastard as been spending
lots of time with that new kid Jack. That’s your in. Get on Jacky’s good side and pump all the info out of him. And if he doesn’t talk willingly, bring him here and we’ll beat the info out of him.” Jeff menacing over Tyler like a bully.
“Well then why don’t I just bring him back here right now?” Tyler was saying.
“Because you dumb shit, we’ll have to kill the kid. We can’t just beat the shit out of him then let him go. He’ll run and tell his boyfriend Casey, then they’ll throw us to the zombies.” He said sticking his finger hard in Tyler’s chest to get his point across. Tyler already didn’t like this plan, he may not have really liked any of the people here, but he liked the steady food, a clean bed and shower and of course Cindi. She was so nice, and treated him right. Maybe he could help Jeff leave and then he could just stay behind. Tyler had been having dangerous thoughts like that for a while now, he was thinking about going to one of the head guys and ratting Jeff out. He’d seen some of the crazy shit Jeff was capable of, he left women and children to die so he could escape, and he used people as human shields then threw them to the zombies to be eaten. Jeff was ruthless, and completely lawless. But it kept them both alive. What little humanity Jeff had before all this came to be, vanished once the zombies appeared. Jeff took what he wanted, when he wanted. Food, weapons, shelter, women, cars, so this meant they were going to have to kidnap someone again. Tyler hated that part the worst, but at least he was still alive.
“Fuck’n wake up!” Jeff slapped Tyler in the face.
“Sorry. I. .I was just thinking of how to approach the kid.” Tyler now stuttering and with nerves just wanted to get out of the room.
“Go then, I’m sick of your face already. I’m going to out to see what’s up with that Jill. She asked me how I was yesterday. Maybe she likes me a little.” Jeff said and winked at Tyler, pushed him out of his way towards the door.
Jill enjoyed working with Vikki. The woman was strong and smart and she seemed to really enjoy any job she ended up doing. This morning they had been mostly working in the kitchen, cooking things and preparing stuff. It was nice having refrigeration, food definitely went farther with that. There was a CD player plugged that was playing music on low. Several other women and men were the kitchen areas too help either clean or cook. Everyone took turns, different people for each meal. Vikki slid over to where Jill was cutting an onion, they had managed to grow many root vegetables.
“So how are things going with you and Casey? Talking yet?”
“No. I mean he tried apologizing the other day.” Jill stumbled through her words. “I guess I really didn’t let him speak, but I just didn’t feel like hearing it.”
“I understand this is hard complicated situation.” She paused in chopping vegetables. “I sometimes wonder if he doesn’t think his wife and child might still be alive.”
“You know about them? He talked to you?”
Vikki laughed at that a bit. “Honey you forget Casey picked us the 2nd or 3rd day after this all went down. He was still actively searching for them both when he found us. We even helped him some, trying to come up with ideas of where they might be. It wasn’t until we really started getting low on gas and food that we looked for shelter and found this place.” Jill took all this new information in, pondered it.
“Has he …” Jill had to work up a bit of courage for this question. “Been with anyone since?”
“Not that I know, and I’m sure we would have heard about it, there’s probably only 20 or so girls that would be with age range that might have potential.”
“Talk to him Jill, or at least listen to him, he’s a good guy who would never intentionally hurt anyone.”
“Enough about my drama, how’s things with Cindi?”
“I just get a feeling she isn’t telling me everything. It’s just so strange to me, because ever since we first got here she has told me everything. It’s like she has a secret now, and I’m not sure what to do.” Jill knew she had to tell Vikki about Tyler and her thoughts on Cindi being involved. But what did she say? I think your daughter is being used by a bunch of unholy men for her body and the knowledge she has about this place. Yeah, probably not a good sentence to utter to the mother.
“I’m not sure, why do you ask?”
“Well I have noticed her hanging around Tyler a bit more.” Jill started. “And I can over hear them once and a while, he’s just been asking her lots of questions.”
“About what?”
“About you guys, and this place.” Jill finished.
“Why would he want to know about us? And he could ask anyone about this place and they’d tell him.” Now with a confused look on her face.
“Well, I’m not a 100% sure, but I think they may be thinking of leaving here.” Jill said, hoping Vikki would come to the correct conclusion on her own.
“I still don’t … …” Jill could see the features on Vikki’s face change as the wheels in her head turned and she realized the possible truth as to why a grown man would be talking to her daughter about these things.
“I have to talk to Tom. I have to keep her away from those guys.” Vikki looked mad and worried at the same time as she started to leave.
“Wait stop.” Jill quickly grabbed her arm before she could go.
“Yes talk to Tom, don’t rush to Cindi with this. You know that’ll just make her run to Tyler quicker. You have to be calm and get a plan.” She was starting to calm down with Jill’s words.
“Your right, I’ll talk to Tom and Casey, they will know what to do. I just don’t want me baby getting hurt.” She was almost ready to cry.
“Vikki you stay here. I need to get some more tomatoes for this salad. Will you be ok?”
“Yes. I’ll be here when you get back I promise.”
Tom, Kurt, Casey, Oscar, Andy and Mike were all standing outside the lumber yard discussing things. Like Jeff and Tyler, and also Jack.
“I’m telling you Jack’s a smart kid, he’s got some good ideas and he’s already improved one of our escape routes. Plus he’s got good intel on how to get out and around the city, he’s from the immediate area, he can help to get more supplies from the neighboring houses and buildings.” Andy very excited and happy with his choice to make Jack part of his security team.
“I agree completely with Andy. He picks stuff up so fast. He fixed the ham radio, he’s helping plan away to get into those stores across the way. That’s what we’ve talked about for months, we’ve already decided the next store we go after has got to be that gun store. We can replenish our ammo, maybe find some gun powder and machine our own bullets.” Mike was saying.
“Ok let’s shorten this up, do we all agree Jack goes with on the trip and he gets trained?” Casey said before anyone else could sing Jacks’ praises. Everyone nodded and said yes.
“Then it’s done. Train him up, teach him how to work the door, weapons, and all that. I don’t want him out there on the fire team stuff yet. Not that he’s not strong enough, I just don’t think he’s ready.” Casey said trying to make it sound really official, not so much like a personal request.
“Yeah ok.” Kurt said super sarcastically.
“You just don’t want Jill on your ass when she finds out he’s got a more dangerous job around here, hanging out with the big boys.” Andy slapped Casey on the arm saying.
“That’s not it at all. I’m just not sure if Jack is ready to deal with all this shit yet.” Casey now defending himself, yet secretly he was worried what Jill would think. Stupid girl, making him feel things. Ever since they had that little argument she hadn’t spoken to him, it had been what almost a week? He really did miss their conversations, and he didn’t want to look any deeper than that.
“Hey Casey it’s cool if you like her, most of us have found someone or whatever. We’ve been here how long and you’ve never shown an interest in any woman, Jill seems like a good pick.” Tom was putting in his two cents.
“Can we talk about the other matter?” Casey wanted the sub
ject changed quickly so no one could see that maybe he did like Jill just a bit.
“Yeah, we need to get these guys under control.” Mike was now speaking seriously and angrily about this new situation at hand.
“I say we toss them.” Kurt said with a straight face.
“Oscar, you’ve been watching them, what do you think they are up too.” Casey asked.
“I think they’re looking to leave, but take what they can with them.”
“How do you know that?” Tom sounded skeptical.
“I’ve had people watching them and reporting to me. They’ve been asking questions, lots of them, I think they have been hiding food and last report was they were checking out our vehicles. They are looking to bolt.” Oscar looked everyone in the eye, telling them his own thoughts.
“We would know if they were stealing food.” Andy said.
“Not if they had help.” Oscar retorted.
“Who would help these guys?” Tom asked.
“I don’t know, but they sure aren’t lacking in female attention.” Kurt added.
“Well we can’t throw them off the roof.” Andy said.
“No, we do what they are wanting. We give them some water, put them in their car and send them packing.” Casey told them
“By gun point if we have to.” Tom was now silently seething, wonder if his daughter was one of these females giving them attention.
“So then were agreed something has to been done and this is what we’re doing. This has to be unanimous. We vote. I don’t want any finger pointing if this goes down bad.” Casey said. All the guys nodded and said yes.
“Ok then, we’ll pull them aside tonight after dinner and ask them to leave, quietly.” Tom said
“We’ll be ready with the guns and I’ll make sure there are extra guys out at the gate to be ready for anything. I don’t think these guys will leave quietly.” Andy said. He looked up and saw Jack strolling over and signaled him over to them.
